Side Effects

by VK Powell

  Jordan took a deep breath and tried to act casual. Neela kissed Bina’s cheek and guided Jordan toward the table, where two cups of coffee waited.

  “Stop right there,” Bina said. Jordan felt the blood drain from her face and she froze. “Where is my good-morning greeting from my new daughter?”

  “Mama.” Neela gave her a scathing look, but Bina ignored her.

  Jordan kissed Bina’s other cheek and took a seat across from her. “Bina, I’m so sorry if you think—” Jordan wanted to explain before things got any further out of hand, but she wasn’t sure exactly how to do that without causing even more discomfort and confusion—at least she felt uncomfortable and slightly confused.

  Bina waved her hand in her customary manner, warding off any attempts to sidetrack her. “We will speak frankly. Quality time demands it.” Jordan and Neela nodded but remained quiet. “This is the first time my Neela has taken a woman to her bed with me in the house.” Neela started to speak, but Bina stopped her. “I know you have had others here, but never while I am home. That you have chosen to do so with Jordan says you care deeply for her and wish me to accept her into our family. Is this what you are saying, Beta?”

  Neela looked at Jordan and her brown eyes filled with tears. The connection between them was like a current, strong and true. If anyone had tried to pull them apart at that moment, Jordan would’ve fought with everything she had.

  “Yes, Mama, if she’ll have me.”

  Jordan’s vision blurred and she couldn’t see Neela or Bina. “I—I—” She pulled for breath and her heart felt like it would burst. “Why? I don’t have anything…no real home, no relatives, no past to speak of. Why would you want me?”

  Bina cupped Jordan’s hand in hers. “Because my Neela loves you, and she deserves only the very best.”

  Jordan tried to swallow as she looked at Neela.

  “It’s true. I’m in love with you, Jordan. I have been for some time, as unimaginable as that seems.” When Jordan opened her mouth to answer, Neela placed a finger over her lips. “Don’t say anything until you’re certain how you feel. I know you’ve got a lot going on right now. Take your time. You’ll get no pressure from me…or Bina.” She looked to her mother for confirmation.

  “Very well, but you will make the right decision. It is the only one.” Bina smiled and raised her teacup with effort. “This is truly a good morning.”

  Jordan took sips of her coffee so she wouldn’t choke on the lump in her throat. Neela was in love with her. How was that even possible? She’d treated her horribly in the beginning, and she had nothing to offer a woman who valued family so highly. And she and Bina wanted her to share their lives. Could she take the risk—to care deeply enough to be hurt and to bond with a family that could one day discard her? But as she looked at the two women beside her, a barrier collapsed inside and some of her anger evaporated like steam off her coffee. The tears started. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to check on Blue.”

  She escaped to the backyard, and Blue almost knocked her down as he greeted her. “Hi, fella. Have you been good and played nice for Bina? She’s a bit frail, so you have to be careful with her. No jumping on her like you do me. Okay?” She scratched behind his ears and settled on the grass, swiping at her tears. “I think they like us. Do you like it here?” He nuzzled her neck and licked her hand. “Nice play space, huh?”

  Blue looked toward the house before Jordan heard the back door open. She waited, her hand buried in Blue’s fur, needing the connection to something solid, as Neela made her way to her and joined them on the grass.

  She settled close enough that their legs touched the length of their thighs with her cast out to the other side. Heat instantly surged between them. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah. Just a little shell-shocked, I guess.”

  “I’m sorry about that. I hadn’t intended for my mother to tell you I’m in love with you, but she always gets to the crux of the matter. It’s a gift, or a curse.”

  Jordan kept petting Blue. “How do you…love me, Neela?”

  “With my entire heart.” Her grin was adorable, and Jordan appreciated her attempt to lighten the mood.

  “I mean, really? After how I treated you? And I still don’t know if I can open up totally, emotionally and sexually. The worst part is, I probably don’t deserve you. And please don’t say I saved your life because that’s not enough.”

  “It might not mean much to you, but my life is pretty important to me.” Neela nudged her, trying to get her to smile.

  “I didn’t mean that. Your life means everything to me.”

  Neela circled her arm around Jordan’s waist and leaned into her. “Jordan, you’ve made a decent life for yourself in spite of what you’ve been through, maybe because of it. Your friends see what a wonderful person you are. Animals love you, and they can sense bad energy.” She nodded at Blue. “I think you’re the most interesting, exciting, kindhearted, and challenging woman I’ve ever met. Yes, you have issues, but who doesn’t? And Bina Sahjani thinks you’re pretty spectacular. I didn’t even get a sermon about sneaking a woman into my bedroom. That’s saying something.”

  Jordan laughed at that one. “Well, she is a pretty good judge of character, isn’t she?”

  “The best. But none of that is as important as how you feel about yourself. The rest of us can only offer encouragement until you see it. And I know you’re not there yet.”

  “If you’re so smart, what am I thinking right now?” Jordan pressed their bodies closer and stared into Neela’s brown eyes. Her skin heated and tingled with arousal.

  “I’d say from the flush on your cheeks and the slight hitch in your breathing you’re thinking about how great my hands felt on you last night and—”

  “Whoa! TMI,” Bex said from behind them.

  Jordan scooted away from Neela and raised her hands in frustration. “Really? How about a knock before you barge in?”

  Bex waved her hand from side to side. “Hello, the great outdoors. Wide open.”

  Liz stood behind her smiling. “I think it’s great to see supercop all mushy.”

  “Liz, not helping.” Neela kissed Jordan’s cheek and tried to get up, but her cast made rising from the ground difficult. Jordan stood and offered her hand. “Thanks, darling. Think I’ll check on Bina.”

  Jordan leaned in and spoke softly. “I love it when you call me that.” And she absolutely did. The way Neela almost whispered the word and the emotion behind it was like an aphrodisiac. She wanted to take her where she stood, but more importantly, she wanted to feel worthy to take her.

  “Maybe you should wait a second, Neela,” Liz said. Bex shook her head but Liz continued. “You should probably hear what Bex has to say.”

  Jordan could tell by the way Bex was acting that her news wasn’t good, and she wanted to protect Neela as much as possible. She glared at Liz.

  “I don’t care how long you stare at me with those cold blues, detective. Neela has a right to know what’s going on. It’s her life we’re talking about here.”

  Neela appeared torn, like a referee between opposing sides, so Jordan stepped in. “Go ahead, Bex. Liz probably has a good point. Neela shouldn’t be kept in the dark.”

  The three of them settled on the deck as Bex paced and talked. “I’ve been going over Elliot Ramsey’s business interests. He’s got his sticky fingers in projects everywhere to promote conservative and free-market agendas. And he’s the primary financier for, wait for it, the only abortion clinic in the state that will still be operational if Governor Lloyd’s bill passes.”

  “What?” Jordan wasn’t sure she’d heard correctly. “He finances an abortion clinic?”

  “The only one that will still meet the state’s requirements if Lloyd’s anti-abortion bill passes?” Neela looked stunned. “That’s not possible, is it?”

  “The man can make chicken salad out of chicken shit, financially speaking,” Liz said.

  “Then that gives him—” Jor
dan stopped and tried to signal Bex with her eyes to shut up, but she didn’t get the hint.

  “Motive,” Bex said. “Exactly. He’d want this bill to go through more than anyone. It would mean big money in his pocket. And with Neela retired and now able to throw all her clout behind stopping the bill, he’d be more inclined to try to silence her.” She stopped pacing and met three sets of glaring eyes. “What?”

  “Shut up, Bex,” Jordan said.

  But the damage had been done. Neela’s face was ashen. “You mean this whole sordid mess isn’t over yet? And I’ve just made it worse by resigning? Great. Why didn’t the bastard tell me what he wanted in the first place? I might’ve accommodated him.” She seemed to reconsider her statement. “Nah, not a chance.”

  Jordan moved to the arm of Neela’s chair and rubbed the back of her neck. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out and put an end to it soon. I promise.”

  “I know you will.” She kissed Jordan’s hand and brought it to her cheek. Her skin had gone slightly cooler, and Jordan clenched her teeth. Nobody was going to threaten or hurt Neela again, not as long as Jordan drew breath.

  “Right. Bex, let’s get moving on this. I don’t give a good goddamn who’s working the assault or who’s on protection detail. We’re on Elliot Ramsey, or at least I am, until I know exactly who’s behind the attempt on Neela’s life. After hearing this, I have a feeling he’s the key. You probably have to get back to Milton, but I’m still on medical leave, so my time is my own.”

  “You’re not leaving me out. I’m due some off days. No reason I can’t take them now.” They bumped fists and smiled at Neela and Liz like teenagers who’d just scored with the prom queen.

  Liz hooked her arm in Bex’s. “Walk me to my car, lover. You want a lift to the lab, Neela, or are you taking your car?”

  “You go. I’ll be along shortly.” When Bex and Liz disappeared around the corner of the house, Neela turned to Jordan. “Promise you won’t do anything crazy. Ramsey is a powerful man, and he’ll probably go to extremes to protect his money and his reputation.”

  “Crazy? Me do something crazy?” Neela wasn’t smiling. “Okay. I just want to find out for sure if he’s connected to all this. I can do that without raising any alarms, and I promise I’ll be careful.” She hugged Neela and throbbed from their proximity. Her hunger for Neela never seemed to lessen, but now warmth and a genuine desire to connect intimately mitigated the hunger. “Neela, I feel…”

  “I know. I feel it too.”

  Neela kissed her, and the power of their connection grounded her. “Damn, Neela. You make me ache so bad—but in a good way, not like before. I need you to touch me again, soon.”

  “I can’t wait, my darling.” She nipped Jordan’s bottom lip with her teeth and play-shoved her toward the steps. “Now go. Do your job so I can do mine. This cast isn’t the only thing making walking a problem right now.”

  “Jeez, you two, give it a rest,” Bex said as she reappeared from the front grinning like she’d won first prize in the matchmaking contest.

  “You’re one to talk,” Jordan said. “See you later.” She waved as Neela went back in the house, and she and Bex walked the backyard with Blue at her side. “What do you think we should do?”

  “Have a double ceremony as soon as possible before one of us gets arrested for lewd and lascivious conduct. We’ve got a couple of super-hot women on our hands. And from what I can see, we’re both goners. No?”

  “Afraid so, but I’m talking about Ramsey at the moment, not our suddenly full and illustrious love lives.”

  “I think we should watch his house. If he’s mixed up in threats and attempted murder, he won’t be stupid or careless enough to handle it himself, and he won’t contact his lackey at his prestigious state-capitol office.”

  “He’d also be crazy to make contact at his home, but people get lazy, especially rich people. So, when do we start?”

  “How about tonight? Got any other plans?” She nudged Jordan’s shoulder and immediately apologized when she winced. “Sorry, wrong side.”

  “Can you pick me up around ten?”

  “Sure, but where?” She smiled one of her annoying smirks.

  “Here would probably be good, and no smart-assed comments. I bet you’re not sleeping alone either.”

  “No, but Liz’s mother isn’t in the house. Just saying. You’ve got brass ones, partner.”

  “It’s not like that, Bex. I care about Neela, a lot, and Bina knows it.”

  “Good. I’ll try to make sure you don’t screw it up.” She jumped over the back fence and headed toward her car before Jordan could smack her. “See you at ten.”

  *

  Neela shuffled the slides under the microscope one at a time, praying for a different outcome, but each one produced the same result. The stem cells in their most recent sample had deteriorated, and the injured cells had taken over. “Damn it.” She pushed the trays across the table so hard they teetered near the edge.

  “Calm down, honey.” Liz rubbed her back. “We knew this was a possibility when we started. Every experiment has side effects. It’s not the first time we’ve lost this battle, and it probably won’t be the last.”

  “I know, Liz, but Bina’s getting more fragile every day, as are all the other people suffering in the world. It’s just so hard.”

  “You’re giving us way too much credit and responsibility. Not everybody in the world knows about little ole us or the work we’re doing.” Liz guided her away from the worktable. “Let’s go get a coffee. We’ve been at this since noon yesterday, and in case you haven’t noticed, it’s morning.”

  “I feel like such a failure. You don’t know how hard my parents struggled to provide my education. Why isn’t this working? If we do make a breakthrough, it’ll probably be too late to help the most important person in my life. And I couldn’t help my subordinates because I quit my job. I have no idea what’s happened to most of them now. And I’m not sure if Jordan will ever—” She couldn’t voice this particular fear to Liz. She’d violate Jordan’s trust, and she would never purposely do that.

  Neela followed Liz, shucked her gloves, and retrieved her cell phone from her coat pocket on the way to the canteen. “I’d like to check on Bina and call—”

  “Supercop?” Liz batted her eyes and tried to look innocent. “Obviously you two have made progress. How did that happen? Let me guess. She tied you down, made you submit to her will, and fucked you senseless.”

  “Not funny, Liz.” Images of Jordan’s past flashed through her mind, making Neela cringe.

  Liz hugged her. “Oh, honey, you know I was kidding. Whatever nerve I stepped on, I’m really sorry. I only want the best for you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry too. Temporarily lost my sense of humor.”

  “As long as Jordan makes you happy, I don’t care if she runs with wolves and eats raw chicken for dinner. Seriously.”

  Neela laughed, and some of the tension of her work failure and the memory of Jordan’s ordeal fell away. “Thanks. So what do we do now?”

  “Why don’t we go somewhere else, talk about work strategy, and compare girlfriend notes? I’d love to know what supercop is really like in bed, strictly academic, of course.”

  “Strictly prurient, you mean. Absolutely not. This is one woman I will not discuss.”

  “I’ve never heard you say that before. She must be the one.” She finger-quoted the air.

  “I’m certain of it.”

  “And what about her? Are you the one for her? Nothing’s worse than having to tell someone who thinks you’re the love of her life that she’s not yours.”

  “That’s not happening. Jordan just needs a bit more time to figure out some things. I’m certain she’ll come around.”

  “Are you sure, honey?” She placed her hand over Neela’s. “Are you sure she won’t play this out to the end and then walk away?”

  “If she does, she does, but I have to take the chance, Liz. I’ve never fel
t anything like this before. She totally unravels me and challenges me to reexamine things I always took for granted. She’s like our lab experiments. I never know how it’s going to turn out, but I’ll always keep coming back. If she left today, I wouldn’t regret a minute I’ve spent with her. At last I know what it feels like to be in love. Can you understand?”

  Liz was gazing at her, a faraway look in her eyes. “Totally. I feel exactly the same way about Bex. Guess we’ve both hit the jackpot.”

  “Guess so.” Neela nudged Liz, picked up her cell, and dialed Bina. “Hi, Mama. You all right? Did you sleep well?”

  “Fine. Will you be home soon?”

  “On my way. Sorry, but Liz and I have been working all night. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Don’t hurry. Everything is fine here, just fine,” Bina said.

  “You sure you’re okay? Your voice sounds strange.”

  “Fine, Mrs. Scott.”

  The line went dead, and a splash of fear coursed through Neela. She stared at the phone, her hand shaking.

  “What’s wrong, Neela?”

  “Something’s happened. Bina just used a contraction and called me Mrs. Scott. Her voice sounded strained.”

  “What do you mean she used a contraction?”

  “She never does that, thinks it’s improper English.” Neela was sprinting as she spoke.

  “Maybe she’s having another episode, light-headed, not thinking clearly.”

  “It’s more than that. I could tell by her tone. She was trying to tell me something. I have to go. I’ll call you later.” She ducked into the lab and grabbed her purse, not bothering to change out of her scrubs. Fear kept her upright and moving forward. If she paused to think about what might be going on at home, she’d collapse in an immobile heap.

  As she ran to her car in the parking lot, she saw a note stuck under the windshield wiper. She pulled it off and waved her protection officers over. Leaning against the side of the car, she ripped the envelope open as Phil and Harry came across the street and joined her. What’s the point of police protection if they’re never around when I need them? She kept the thought to herself as she stared at the words plastered across the page.