A Holiday to Remember: An absolutely hilarious romantic comedy set under the Italian sun

by Susanne O’Leary

  * * *

  Jelsa was a gorgeous fishing village, home to a sheltered harbour lined with little shops and cute fish restaurants tucked away in old stone-faced buildings. Steeped in history, the houses and streets harked back to Grecian times and beyond. The cobblestones, laid by the Romans, were polished by many feet through the centuries and the higgledy-piggledy houses that lined the streets and narrow lanes had an irresistible charm to them. Maddy and Leanne had decided to tour the town together, taking Bridget with them on her lead.

  ‘I could live here forever,’ Leanne sighed, looking up at the old façades where roses rambled all the way up to the red tiles of the roofs. She breathed in the warm air, laden with the fragrance of flowers, spices and a whiff of the sea breeze. ‘It makes me feel so relaxed,’ she continued, happy to have Maddy on her own. The others were fun but she was craving some quality time with her friend.

  ‘Me too,’ Maddy agreed. ‘But I bet these houses are cold in the winter.’

  ‘I’d say they’re freezing,’ Leanne agreed. ‘But maybe a summer house would be an idea?’

  ‘The property prices all over these islands have shot up in the past few years,’ Maddy remarked. ‘I looked it all up when we were in Trogir. It struck me that a little house here would be so fabulous. But not very practical, I suppose.’

  Leanne put her arm through Maddy’s. ‘There you go being all sensible again.’

  ‘Boring, huh?’

  ‘No. Comforting. You’re so grounded. I’m more like a hot air balloon at the moment.’

  Maddy squeezed Leanne’s arm. ‘I noticed. Let me know if you want me to pull you down to earth.’

  Leanne smiled. ‘At the moment it’s good to float.’ She looked up at the blue sky above, not a cloud in sight. ‘The view is pretty good from here.’

  ‘Have you looked at the photos from the morning’s shoot?’

  Leanne stopped walking. ‘Yes. The photos are great. Everything worked really well and the light was perfect. Carlo and I suit each other in an odd way and the clothes aren’t as bad as they seemed. But…’ She stepped back and ran her hand through her hair. ‘If this low-key approach doesn’t work, Lucilla and Carlo won’t be very pleased.’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll be okay,’ Maddy soothed. ‘Hey, let’s go and have ice cream in that little square down below. Tony told me the ice cream here is nearly better than in Florence. I feel like one of those sinful sundae things topped with whipped cream, nuts and hot chocolate sauce. Don’t you?’

  ‘Now you’re talking.’ Leanne took Bridget’s lead and pulled Maddy along to the beautiful main square with its white flagstones, old buildings and bars and restaurants festooned with colourful umbrellas. The square opened onto the harbour and had breath-taking views straight out to sea, sparkling under the bright sun.

  Maddy looked around. ‘What a stunning place.’

  ‘Gorgeous. Let’s find the ice cream parlour and get stuck in.’

  Twenty minutes later, they were sitting at a table outside the ice cream parlour looking at each other across two tall glasses stuffed full of ice cream sundae, topped with a huge mound of whipped cream and a bright red cherry perched on top. They dug in, laughing, and didn’t speak until the last blob of chocolate sauce had been scraped from the glass.

  ‘Oh my God,’ Maddy sighed, wiping her mouth. ‘That was delicious.’

  ‘Are you kidding? It was pure heaven,’ Leanne said, licking her spoon. ‘I don’t think we’ll have room for dinner.’

  ‘I’m sure we’ll make space,’ Maddy replied.

  ‘I felt like a kid eating that.’ Leanne looked around the square and the other tables, where couples and families were enjoying an assortment of desserts. ‘Seems like a popular spot.’ Glancing around, she noticed a lone figure behind them. It was odd to see someone on their own in this family kind of place. But why wouldn’t anyone want an ice cream on a hot day? She felt a little sorry for the man and wondered if he had a family or a wife with him.

  Maddy looked around. ‘Yes. Everyone’s getting into the ice creams. Except…’ She leant towards Leanne. ‘That guy over there, at the table behind us… He’s not eating anything. And I think he took a photo of us with his phone.’

  ‘What?’ Leanne followed Maddy’s gaze and saw that the man was still sitting there. He had a blond beard and wore a white sunhat and sunglasses. He looked in her direction but his eyes were hidden. She couldn’t tell if he was looking at her or at the view of the town and the little church behind her. ‘I noticed him a moment ago. Thought he looked lonely. But I’m sure he didn’t take a photo us, just of the town and the harbour. Lovely view from here.’

  ‘Yeah. Probably.’ Maddy paid the bill and got up. ‘Ready to go? I want to look into those little shops. They sell hand-printed silk scarves and sarongs for the beach that would make nice gifts to bring home.’

  ‘Okay.’ Leanne gathered her things. ‘I want to write a blog post and then upload the first photo of the marketing campaign on my Insta page. We need to book a table for dinner too, don’t we?’ She put her hand on her stomach and groaned. ‘A very late dinner.’

  ‘And light,’ Maddy filled in. ‘If we keep eating like this we’ll turn into blobs. Let’s get going, then.’

  ‘Don’t forget Bridget,’ Leanne said and peered under the table. But the spot where Bridget had been sitting was empty. Leanne looked at Maddy, panic rising in her chest. ‘She’s not there.’

  Sixteen

  ‘What?!’ Maddy exclaimed and bent down to look. ‘She’s gone.’ She looked wildly around the square, but there was no sign of the little poodle. ‘Where could she be?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Leanne moaned, panic rising in her chest. ‘Please tell me she wasn’t stolen.’

  ‘Maybe she just wandered off?’ Maddy looked around the tables again. ‘We have to ask around. Let’s start with that guy who took the photo. He might have seen—’

  ‘He’s gone too,’ Leanne said, looking at the empty table. Now seriously worried, she grabbed a passing waiter by the arm, nearly knocking the tray crammed with ice cream sundaes out of his hands. ‘Please, our dog is lost, have you seen her? A little black poodle with a red collar.’ The words rushed out of her in a panic.

  ‘Yes.’ The waiter nodded and steadied the tray. ‘I saw her.’

  ‘Thank God,’ Leanne breathed. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘I saw her when you sat down. She was under the table. Then I didn’t see her any more.’

  Leanne squeezed his arm. ‘Is that all? You didn’t see her get away – or someone taking her? You must have!’

  ‘No.’ The waiter raised his eyebrows, looking at Leanne as if she might be dangerous and pulled away. ‘Sorry, but I have to serve the ice creams.’ He walked off towards another table where a family was eagerly waiting for their treat.

  ‘Shit,’ Leanne exclaimed, cold sweat breaking out in her armpits. ‘Where the bloody hell is she? We have to find her, Maddy, we have to!’

  ‘Calm down. I’m sure someone has seen her. We just have to keep looking.’ Maddy started to move around the tables, asking people about Bridget, showing them photos on her phone. Everyone shook their heads and shrugged. No, they hadn’t seen the little dog.

  Leanne walked up to a family digging into huge banana splits. Mother, father, two small boys, and a girl of about twelve, her hair in pigtails and huge round glasses perched on her nose. Maybe… She walked up to the table. ‘Do you speak English?’

  ‘Yes,’ the father said. ‘Sure we’re Irish.’

  ‘Thank God,’ Leanne sighed. ‘I mean not thank God you’re Irish, aren’t there enough of us already? I meant thank God you speak English. We’ve lost our dog, you see, and we were wondering if you’ve seen her? A little black poodle. Her name’s Bridget and she wears a red collar…’

  They all shook their heads, except the girl, who pointed at Leanne. ‘It’s her. The one from the blog.’

  ‘Stop pointing, Sinead,’ the mother corrected. ‘It’
s rude. What blog?’

  ‘Women Now,’ Sinead said, looking important. ‘I follow it.’

  ‘What?’ her mother snapped. ‘You follow a… blog? Have I not told you to stay off the Internet when we’re not around ?’

  Sinead rolled her eyes. ‘Jesus, Ma, you’re so old-fashioned. Everyone in my class goes on the Internet on their own.’

  ‘But you’re not allowed to have a Facebook account until you’re thirteen,’ the father protested.

  Sinead sighed. ‘Oh, please, Dad. Facebook is so yesterday. I’m on Snapchat and Instagram. And the Wordpress blogs.’ She looked at Leanne and smiled, her braces glinting in the sun. ‘Your blog is awesome. Most of my friends follow it.’

  ‘Oh, thank you.’ Leanne smiled at the girl. ‘Glad you like it. We didn’t know we had so many young fans, did we, Maddy?’

  ‘Not at all,’ Maddy said, walking closer.

  ‘What’s the blog about?’ the father asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

  ‘It’s about how they won some money on the Lotto,’ Sinead said. ‘Then they bought a sports car and took off on a trip across Europe with their little dog. Leanne had a date with a hot Italian the other day and then they set off on this trip on a yacht. And now they’re here and—’ Sinead’s face fell. ‘You lost Bridget?!’

  ‘Yes,’ Leanne said, ‘But I’m sure we’ll find her. She might even have gone back to the boat all by herself.’

  Sinead shot up. ‘But we have to find her,’ she exclaimed. ‘Ma, Dad, please help them find Bridget.’ She pulled at her brother beside her. ‘Sean, get up, we have to help Leanne and Maddy find Bridget.’

  ‘But I want to finish my ice cream,’ Sean protested.

  ‘Who’s Bridget?’ The father asked. ‘Your daughter?’

  ‘Gee, Dad, you haven’t been listening,’ Sinead groaned. ‘Bridget’s their dog. A small black poodle. So cute and cuddly. And we have to help look for her. If we all split up, we might have a better chance.’

  The father got up. ‘Of course, we’ll help. Why didn’t you ask in the first place?’

  ‘They did,’ Sinead groaned. ‘You weren’t paying attention.’ She hauled a phone out of the pocket of her jeans. ‘I just had an idea. I’m going to ask that girl I met at the marina. She might have seen something.’ Sinead punched in a number, while Leanne and Maddy waited, holding onto each other. ‘Hi, Fidelma, Sinead here. Guess who I just met? Only Leanne and Maddy from the blog!’ She paused while listening to the voice at the other end. ‘Yes, it’s them. I swear. Right here, beside me. Okay, we’ll do a selfie later. The thing is they’ve lost Bridget. She seems to have wandered off while they were eating ice cream. Have you seen her?’ Sinead listened for a moment and then gave a shout so loud they all jumped. ‘What!!?? She just passed you?’ Sinead yelled, her eyes on stalks. ‘Where are you? Tell us quick!’

  ‘Where?’ Leanne shouted, grabbing Sinead by the shoulder.

  ‘The harbour,’ Sinead said, pointing just past the house on the corner. ‘Fidelma said a man is walking towards her with a poodle on a red lead. Let’s go!’ Sinead took off at a run, Maddy and Leanne behind her, followed by Sinead’s dad.

  They rounded the corner and raced down the quay at breakneck speed. ‘I can see her!’ Sinead shouted and started to sprint ahead.

  ‘Where?’ Leanne panted, her heart beating, her breathing ragged.

  ‘There,’ Sinead shouted, pointing ahead. ‘That man, there. He’s pulling her along.’

  Leanne spotted the man who had been at the table behind them, walking swiftly towards a small motorboat, pulling a yelping Bridget with him. He stopped and scooped the dog up in his arms and continued half-running, looking over his shoulder.

  ‘Stop!’ Leanne shouted. ‘Give us our dog back!’

  The man hurried away, but Sinead had nearly caught up with him. Then she lunged for his legs and the man toppled over, crashing to the ground, losing his grip on the dog. ‘Fuck!’ he shouted and scrambled to his feet, pulling away from Sinead who was still hanging onto his legs.

  ‘Bridget!’ Leanne called and held out her arms. The black furry bundle ran like the wind away from the man and jumped into Leanne’s arms, whining, barking and furiously licking Leanne’s face. ‘Oh, my baby, what happened to you?’ she breathed into the soft fur.

  Sinead got to her feet. ‘He’s getting away,’ she shouted and pointed at the strange man jumping aboard a small motorboat with a red stripe painted on the side. Then the boat pulled out into the bay, the dog thief at the wheel. He revved the engine and took off, soon disappearing around the headland.

  Maddy and Sinead’s dad caught up with them, breathing hard and sweating profusely.

  Sinead’s father wiped his face a handkerchief. ‘That was some race.’

  ‘You’re my hero, Sinead,’ Leanne said, still hugging Bridget. ‘You saved Bridget. I don’t know how to thank you.’

  ‘Ah sure, it was Fidelma,’ Sinead said with false modesty. ‘But of course I had the brains to call her, so yeah, I’m quite proud of myself.’ She stroked Bridget’s head. ‘I’m so glad she’s back with you. I bet that man thought he could kidnap her and ask for ransom money or something.’

  ‘Could be,’ Maddy agreed. ‘Or maybe he was hoping to sell her?’

  ‘He looked kind of familiar,’ Leanne said, casting her mind back to when they had seen him sitting behind them at café. ‘I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I could swear I’ve seen him somewhere.’

  Maddy took Bridget from Leanne. ‘How could you see that? He wore a hat and sunglasses and had a beard covering most of his face. Not much to recognise there.’

  Leanne shook her head. ‘Nah, you’re right. I’m probably barking up the wrong lamp post.’

  ‘Hey, could we do a selfie now?’ Sinead cut in.

  The father stepped away. ‘Not with me in it, please. I have to think of my business and my reputation.’

  Sinead giggled. ‘I don’t think your clients would even blink.’

  ‘What’s your business?’ Leanne asked, intrigued.

  ‘I’m an undertaker,’ the father replied.

  ‘Oh.’ Leanne exchanged a glance with Maddy, willing her not to laugh.

  The dad smiled. ‘Sinead’s right. My clients wouldn’t kick up a fuss.’ He tapped his daughter on the nose. ‘Cheeky girl. But I still don’t want to be in that selfie.’

  Sinead sighed. ‘Why on earth would we want you in it? But you can take the photo.’ She picked up her phone. ‘I’ll get Fidelma to join us. She’s earned this.’

  ‘She certainly has,’ Leanne said with feeling.

  It didn’t take long before they were joined by Fidelma, a tall girl with black hair and a dimply smile. Sinead made them all stand together while her father took several shots with Sinead, Leanne and Fidelma’s phones, before they all hugged and said goodbye.

  ‘See you on the blog!’ Sinead called as she and her dad walked away.

  ‘That was lucky,’ Maddy sighed as she buried her face in Bridget’s fur. ‘You bad girl, how could you get away from us?’

  ‘Maybe that guy lured her with something?’ Leanne suggested. ‘Some treats? You know she can’t resist them.’

  Maddy placed Bridget on the ground and grabbed her lead. ‘Could be. And we were too busy stuffing our faces to notice. Thank God for Sinead. Who knows what would have happened if she hadn’t been there?’

  Leanne shuddered. ‘Horrible.’ She suddenly stopped and looked out at sea. ‘Horrible…’ she muttered. ‘Or… horror?’

  Maddy blinked. ‘What?’

  Leanne felt her heart race. Could it be? ‘Oliver Wilde,’ she said out loud. ‘That’s who he looked like, that man who stole Bridget.’

  Seventeen

  When they returned to the yacht, Tony and Carlo had arrived after a long sailing trip around the islands. The wind was so good and they had wanted to try the big red balloon sail known as a spinnaker. They were both in high spirits, drinking ice cold beer on the rear deck. Cl
audia was sipping ice tea and Lucilla had gone for a walk.

  Leanne glanced at Maddy as they walked up the gangplank, Bridget in Maddy’s arms. ‘Will we tell Claudia? I mean if it is him, shouldn’t she know he’s around?’

  ‘No,’ Maddy whispered. ‘It’s such a long shot. You’re probably wrong.’

  ‘Yeah, maybe,’ Leanne muttered. ‘But we still have to be careful. I have an idea about tonight anyway, which will throw him off our scent, if I should be right and he’s stalking us or something.’

  ‘Stalking us? Come on. That’s totally off the wall.’ Maddy let Bridget down on the deck. ‘Can we forget about it and move on, please?

  ‘Alright then,’ Leanne agreed. ‘But I have to write a short blog post to thank Sinead. She was a true star.’

  ‘You should. But don’t broadcast your suspicions about that man.’

  ‘I doubt Claudia will read it. But I won’t mention him.’

  ‘Good. Anyway, let’s go and have tea and a chat with the lads. They look like they’ve had a great afternoon. I’ll be with you in a sec. I just want to settle Bridget after her adventure and check my emails.’

  ‘And I’ll go and write that post. Sinead will be looking out for it and I don’t want to disappoint her. See you in a little while.’ Leanne kissed Bridget on the top of her silky head and went to write up the post.

  Kidnap drama!

  Hello! I thought I’d report a huge scare we had today when we visited Jelsa, a little fishing village on the island of Hvar. Maddy, Bridget and I were enjoying a mountain of an ice cream at a lovely café in the main square, and as we were leaving we noticed our darling pooch was missing. You can imagine the panic and near-heart attacks! We ran around the square like mad things asking everyone if they’d seen her and would have given up if an Irish girl called Sinead hadn’t stepped in and used her network of teenage girls all around the marina. One of them, a super girl called Fidelma, spotted Bridget as she was whisked away by a stranger, who was trying to get her onto his boat. We ran like the wind to catch up but he was too fast. Then Sinead raced ahead and bravely threw herself forward and grabbed the legs of the dog-napper in a rugby tackle worthy of the Irish world cup team and brought the man down, freeing Bridget, who raced into my arms, crying like a baby. Oh the poor little thing! So scared she was shivering like a leaf. But hip-hip hooray for Sinead, who, I suspect, is an undercover agent for MI5 – or at least Interpol. As you can see in the photo taken by her lovely dad, she’s also very cute and will, when the braces come off, be quite dangerous! Fidelma is also an excellent example of young, strong womanhood and looks like a real trooper. Many, many thanks Sinead! Bridget has now calmed down and is snoozing on Maddy’s bed, exhausted by her HUGE fright. Big phews all around!