To Be With You

by Opal Mellon

  “Where are you from, John?” she asked.

  John looked at Justin and Jason.

  “He doesn’t like giving out a lot of personal information,” Jason said.

  “I’m from Utah,” Justin offered. “How about you Nicole?”

  “Idaho,” she said, looking at John to see any twitch from him. He just looked down at his knuckles as if there was something interesting crawling on them.

  “Potato land!” Justin said. “How are the potatoes?”

  “Dry,” she said.

  “So why Club Blue?” Jason asked, studying her. “What are you hoping to get out of membership?”

  “I just attract bad men,” she said. “But I don’t like going to events alone. And I enjoy being with guys. It just seems safer this way.”

  “With that idiot around?” John said, pointing at Justin.

  Nicole laughed. “I guess so.” She looked at Justin’s sparkling eyes and came to the conclusion that he could be trusted. And Jason was the type that would probably give you guy advice. And John, he was the type who made you want to get back in the dating world because he reminded you how enticing normal men without any flirting ability were.

  “So, how do I going about hiring just one of you?” she asked.

  “Just talk to us,” Justin said. “Tell us the date and we’ll check our schedule. Hope does all the pricing. Some of us give discounts to super pretty girls though.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. He wasn’t good at it so instead of waving they just went up and down uncoordinatedly.

  “It’s very easy,” Jason said, opening his Kindle again.

  “What if I get turned down?”

  John looked up when she said this, as if he knew she could only mean him. That he alone seemed surly enough to turn a client down.

  “No one would turn you down unless his schedule was full,” Jason said. “And if it was, he would help you find someone else.”

  “You can also talk to Hope,” Justin said. “She has our schedules and can tell you who is available on any given night, and check with the host herself if you’d like. Some women prefer that.”

  “I probably would,” she admitted. She stood, brushed off her skirt and slung her purse over her shoulder. “You’ve been so patient answering all my questions. Thank you so much.”

  “Take care, Nicole.” Justin waved. “Make sure one of the security guards walks you out, unless you’d like one of us to.”

  “A guard will be fine.” She smiled. “Goodbye Justin. Goodbye Jason.” She looked at John. “Goodbye Sean.” He didn’t respond, just looked confused like the other two. “I mean John. I’m sorry. Goodbye John.”

  He waved slightly and went back to looking at his knuckles.

  Nicole pulled open the door, feeling that her simple, safe solution was not as simple or safe as she’d hoped.

  As soon as the door shut behind Nicole, Jason and Justin turned to glare at Sean.

  “John?” Justin said. “What was that?”

  “Yeah.” Jason said.

  “Do you know her?” Justin said. “Cause you were seven kinds of awkward, even for you. I mean a rock has a better personality than you had in there.”

  “More welcoming, too.” Jason said. He and Justin quickly high-fived then glared at Sean.

  Hope opened the door. “I saw it too from the monitor. What exactly is wrong with you tonight?” She stood in front of him and tapped her foot. “You nearly scared her off.”

  “I did not,” Sean said. He looked at each of their faces and then shrugged, sitting back against the couch. “I know her, okay?” He was tired of lying, so he told them the story.

  “I like it,” Justin said. “Beauty and the beast. I’ll help too. I’ll be extra flirty so you can come to the rescue. She has a serious bubble.”

  “Like you could threaten anyone, Justin,” Hope said.

  “No!” Sean said. “Leave her alone. This isn’t about me winning the girl.” He shook his head. “Seriously don’t do anything to cause her pain.”

  “I’m not sure I think this is a great idea, but I’ll let it go, for now.” Hope sighed. “Just make sure you still serve your other clients. Everyone has to pull his weight. Even hopeless romantics with noble motives.” She left through the back door.

  Justin slapped Sean on the back and followed him into the elevator, quickly ducking Sean’s return swing. Jason was quiet on the ride down.

  Sean was too, until he was struck with a new thought. “You don’t think she knew it was me, do you?”

  “No,” Justin said. “Wait, she did try to call you Sean when she said goodbye. Maybe it was to trick you?” Justin said.

  “Maybe it was just because I remind her of him and she slipped?”

  “No, I think maybe she had some idea that it could be you,” Jason said.

  “On that note, isn’t this going to be a big mess when she finds out you’ve been lying to her?” Justin said. “We are willing to help you with this, but maybe you should think about that and decide if you really want to go through with it or just come clean.”

  Sean was already thinking about it. If he came clean, she would hate him. If he hid it, he could keep her safe until it didn’t matter if she hated him. Decision made. Maybe.

  Chapter Three

  Dear Sean,

  Can we instant message tonight? I know you have AOL email, so you have to have instant messenger.

  Hope you get this tonight,

  Nicole

  Dear Nicole,

  Of course. My username is Seantkd2004. I’m on now. What’s your username?

  SeanTkd2004: Hi.

  Nickynickchick: Hi there.

  SeanTKD2004: So what did you want to chat about?

  N: I went to the club for the first time tonight.

  S: You did? Already?

  N: Yup.

  S: How was it?

  N: Weird.

  S: Oh? How so?

  N: Well, there was a tanned blond guy there.

  S: Typical. Who else was there?

  N: A guy with glasses.

  S: Cool.

  S: What were they like?

  N: Wait. There was one other one.

  S: Oh. Sorry.

  N: That’s the weirdest part. He looked like you.

  S: ???

  N: He did!

  S: Do you even remember what I looked like before?

  N: Yes.

  S: I mean I have grown up a bit in the last 13 years.

  N: You have, huh? I wouldn’t know, because you’re a caveman who doesn’t have Facebook.

  S: Well, everyone grows up.

  N: How tall are you now?

  S: What? Why do you ask?

  N: Just wondering.

  S: You know I’m sensitive about my height, Nick.

  N: You never called me Nick.

  S: Well it’s your username, so now I do.

  N: Lol. Stop changing the subject.

  S: Lol?

  N: Laughing out loud. You really are a caveman.

  S: Were you really laughing out loud?

  N: No.

  S: Doesn’t make sense then.

  N: Yeah, it doesn’t. So how tall are you now?

  S: I’m not even sure.

  N: Haven’t you measured yourself?

  S: No. Why would I measure myself?

  N: So you would know?

  S: I'm not as tall as I’d like to be, how’s that?

  N: Ah, so same as before?

  S: No, that would make me like three feet tall.

  N: You’re impossible. Never mind then.

  S: Never mind? Never mind what?

  N: I just thought you … I don’t know. Just forget it.

  S: No. What? Why did you want to know?

  N: If you HAVE to know, I’m still stuck on the fact that one of the hosts looks like you.

  S: Really? As good-looking as me?

  N: I don’t know. He had your eyes.

  S: What about my eyes?

  N: You kno
w what I mean. :P Don’t fish for compliments. So how are things at the dojo?

  S: Pretty good. It’s dojang, not dojo. Dojo is karate.

  N: Yeah whatever. What do you do there all day?

  S: Oh the usual. Kick other men in the face.

  N: How did you get so involved in karate anyway?

  S: You’re killing me, Nick. It’s Tae Kwon Do.

  N: Stop calling me that. Answer the question.

  S: Sigh. :/ I like calling you that. It rolls off the tongue.

  N: >:/

  S: Okay, okay. Just the usual. I kick other guys in the face, and train other guys and girls to kick other people in the face for points.

  N: o.O

  T: How do you do smileys that aren’t in the little smiley box?

  N: It’s kind of adorable that you don’t know. You just type them.

  S: I know you type them, I was just wondering how you know specific faces mean different things, or do you just make them up as you go?

  N: No, definitely the same ones other people use for the most part. I guess you haven’t seen the <((_CRAYOLA_(() crayon either.

  S: No I haven’t. Cool.

  N: So are you good at kicking people in the face?

  S: Yup. Nationally ranked.

  N: Wow. How does that work with being short?

  S: I didn’t say I was short. I said I’m not as tall as I want to be. It’s more about speed anyway. How is the writing going?

  N: Good. Kind of nice having books up and making money for me so I can do dumb things like hire male escorts. Have you read them?

  S: I may have perused them.

  N: …what did you think?

  S: I think they are romance novels. It’s not really my forte.

  N: Shame on you. Your best old friend writes books and you can’t even compliment her.

  S: Okay, okay. I’ve read them all. More than once. And dog-eared them. They are really good romance novels.

  N: :)

  S: Forcing me to spill that I read romance novels. Don’t tell my students.

  N: Okay.

  S: Thanks.

  N: Although since I don’t know where the dojo is, let alone in which state, and I haven’t seen you in thirteen years, I guess that’s not really an issue.

  S: I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks for reassuring me.

  N: You could tell me where it is.

  S: I don’t think so. You just gave me a reason not to. My students probably aren’t ready for a master who kicks people in the face and reads romance novels.

  N: Well that’s judgmental.

  S: Shrug

  N: Hey, you’re getting the hang of this chat thing.

  S: Thank you. So tell me more about the club.

  N: Not much to tell. I met them. If I want to hire one, I just talk to him or the owner.

  S: Who do you think you’ll hire?

  N: The place is really beautiful though. Let’s just say Club Blue was a really apt name.

  S: Yeah?

  N: Yeah.

  S: So I’ll ask again: who are you hiring?

  N: I’m not sure yet. I guess it’d be kind of weird to go out with someone who looked like you.

  S: Why?

  N: Well you know. We’ve been friends for so long. It’d just be…weird.

  S: Okay. So who are you hiring then?

  N: Well, I might just hire the one that looks like you, anyway.

  S: Why? You said it was weird.

  N: Because he’s hilarious. He's seriously the funniest, most awkward person there.

  S: And being awkward is a good thing?

  N: You’d just have to see it.

  S: Definitely couldn’t be me then. I’m not awkward; I’m smooth.

  N: Oh?

  S: My students don’t call me awkward at least.

  N: Is that because they know you could kick them in the face?

  S: No. It’s because they know I could kick them in the face super-fast and super-hard.

  N: LOL.

  S: Did you actually laugh out loud that time?

  N: Yes, I did.

  S: lol then.

  N: Did you?

  S: No. I just wanted to use it. So what will be your first date? Or are you just going to hang out at the club for a while? Are there more than three guys you can pick from?

  N: Yes, I think there are about a dozen. I don’t really want to hang out at the club much. I think I’ll hire the John guy.

  S: John?

  N: The one that looks like you.

  S: His name rhymes with mine?

  N: Yeah.

  S: Weird. Maybe he’s like my long lost, really embarrassing twin.

  N: Who knows? Well, that’s all. I think Imma hit the sack.

  S: Imma?

  N: Imma = I’m going to.

  S: :/

  S: Shouldn’t a writer have better grammar?

  N: Shouldn’t a businessman have better technical skills?

  S: >:( No. I can kick people in the face. That’s all I need.

  N: Would you kick someone in the face for me?

  S: Any day! :)

  N: Super hard?

  S: Of course.

  N: Aw, thanks. Sleep well.

  S: You too.

  N is offline.

  S is offline.

  Nicole closed the chat window and brought up the Club Blue website to look at the available men and read their bios. She didn’t find one for John, but that was probably just because he was new. Nicole wished she could see a picture of him, to see if now after talking to Sean he still felt familiar to her. Either way, John was gorgeous. Stuck in her mind like a pleasant promise of something exciting in the future. She closed the laptop slowly, already zoning out before she set it aside and got ready for bed. She pulled on soft pajamas and fluffed her sheets and blanket. She was pretty sure at this point that John was not Sean, and that made it okay to think about him.

  She imagined herself at her family reunion, her family narrowing their eyes at the strong, dark-haired man beside her, and smiled.

  She pictured them together at a friend’s wedding, all eyes on her, everyone speculating about who the handsome stranger was, rather than pointing at her and whispering about the latest disaster she’d had with another jerk.

  Yes, the world was looking just a little easier. She knew she shouldn’t care about other people’s opinions. Maybe, after she just had a little approval from society at large, she wouldn’t crave it so much. Yes, she’d schedule at least one date with John. It couldn’t hurt.

  ~ ~ ~

  Several weeks later, Nicole enjoyed her last breaths of fresh spring air. Soon John would be here for their first scheduled date and they’d have to go inside the stifling hotel lobby and battle a crowd of wedding guests. Bright Cali sun mingled with a light breeze that ruffled the silk of her blue blouse. She searched the passing crowd for her date.

  Her eyes took a moment to find him; once again she was struck by his resemblance to her best friend. If it wasn’t Sean, fate was messing with her by putting someone who looked just like a grown version of him in her path. He stopped in front of her, hands in his pockets, and when he smiled, awkwardly, lopsidedly, her heart told her it had to be Sean. It couldn’t be anyone else.

  When their eyes met, she felt caught in an electrical current. She forced herself to hug him.

  "Nervous?" he asked, opening the heavy glass doors for her.

  She gulped. Justin must have helped him pick a suit. It outlined his chest and tight waist. She would not look at her childhood friend that way. Gross.

  "No. Why would I be?"

  They entered the lobby. Gold swirls in the carpet and on the ceiling made her wonder how elegant the rooms were. Maybe they’d have a Jacuzzi. Maybe she could take a date there. Two decorated doors were open and led to the ballroom that held the reception. Quiet music played in the distance.

  "Sean. I mean John." She said. She touched his sleeve.

  He looked down at her. She wanted to r
un a finger along his jaw and see if it was as straight as it looked.

  “What?”

  “You okay? You look stiff.”

  He did. He looked uncomfortable, as he’d been at their first interview at Club Blue. No longer the easy, happy Sean from outside.

  “Hot in here, isn’t it?” He pulled at his tie and she could see his neck was red.

  “If you want to leave we can. Do you always get this nervous at weddings?”

  "Not usually." He said, and when she looked at him puzzled, he amended, "This is my first host date. I suppose I should tell you that you look beautiful."

  "Oh, you," she said. "Stop with the gross flattery before people realize I hired you." She punched him lightly on the arm and laughed when he rubbed it and pouted.

  "That hurt."

  "No it didn't."

  "Okay, it didn't." He smiled and dropped his arms back to his side. Then reached an arm out for her to take.

  She stared at it for a moment. “Isn’t that old fashioned?”

  “I thought it would make us look like a couple.”

  “I don’t know if men do that anymore.” But she took his arm. It was too thick to fit her hand around, and it made her feel the room was too hot, as he’d said.

  He looked affected as well. “Shall we go?” He put a hand over hers.

  “We shall.”

  They walked into the room. It felt humid. She searched for the bride and groom. She tried not to think about Sean and what it meant that he was here with her now as someone else. She had a wedding to attend.

  She caught Beth’s eye as the bride swirled in her groom’s arms. She lit up and turned to her husband, who smiled, nodded, and followed her toward Nicole. She decided it wouldn’t hurt to not tell Sean, to not try to expose him. Best to let it play out. She could take it if it went wrong. She’d had worse. It’d be more interesting to see what he would do. This Sean wasn't like the old one at all. She would give him a chance for all the chances he had given her.

  Lily reached her. “Your seats are over here. I’m so glad you could come. This is Jeff." She pointed to her husband. “And who’s your handsome date?”

  "This is John. It’s nice to meet you Jeff," Nicole said, leaning forward to shake his hand. "You’ve got a good woman. Treat her well."

  "I know,” he said. Then the newlyweds locked eyes and Nicole knew that was her cue to leave. Now she’d have to sit and pick at sub-par food while drunken relatives of the bride and old friends tried to get in her pants. She heard a scraping and saw that Sean had pulled her chair out. She smiled. No, this was why she’d hired a date. No awkward singleness for her.