Southern Comfort

by ANDREA SMITH

  “Yeah, no shit,” my brother answered, giving me a smile. “But you’ve had a rough couple of months, so I guess you deserve something I can barely afford.”

  “Ha ha,” I remarked. “Open yours.”

  I watched as he carefully unwrapped the somewhat large box and took out the polished leather Justin™ Boots he’d been eyeballing as well. “Whoa, hey,” he said, eyes widened, “Now that is way too expensive for your budget, Sis. What’s up?”

  I shrugged. “I have a part-time job. I make good tips and I spare no expense on my brother. Especially given the fact that he saved my life.”

  He was still admiring his boots, pulling one on to make sure that it fit. I knew that it would. I’d taken one of his old ones with me to make sure that from brand to brand the sizing was the same. “Well, I don’t know about that, but I totally dig the boots. You done good, Sunny.”

  I wasn’t about to let him off that easily. The fact was that Jamie had saved me. I had found myself in an intolerable situation after what I now referred to as “Prayer Meeting Porn,” that night in mid-October when our scheme had forced Avery Dawson to face his own evil truth. There could be no denial to those who sat in Avery’s church that evening and heard firsthand straight from the horse’s mouth just how he counseled the female members of his congregation.

  And at first, it had seemed as if we had accomplished what we’d set out to do. His congregation was shocked and appalled. According to Gloria, no one felt much like going down to the church basement for cake and coffee. Avery had eventually pulled the fire alarm in order to get the church cleared.

  Unfortunately, it would take more than that to get his name cleared, but that’s where one should never underestimate the evil resources of Avery Dawson.

  By the time he and Mama had returned home, I had already tucked myself into bed after getting the phone call from Gina that all had gone as planned. I had laid in bed and listened to their loud voices downstairs.

  Mama had been sobbing and crying, asking Avery how he could’ve done what he had done with those women. How he could’ve done that to her.

  “It is not what it seems!” he had argued. “That is most certainly not my voice on those tapes! It was contrived by someone who has the technical expertise to try and replicate someone’s voice. I saw just a few months back some contraption that can transfer analog signals into digital ones that can be remastered onto cassette tapes changing pitch tone and range to make it sound like someone else’s voice! Besides that, those aren’t words I would ever use, nor was that lewd and lascivious behavior mine!”

  “But Avery,” Mama whined, “Those women were saying your name!”

  “Well of course they were, Donna! That’s what I’m sure they were paid to do! Did you recognize any of their voices?”

  “Well…no,” she admitted, “I can’t say that I did.”

  “Well, see there? This was a carefully contrived plan to destroy me—to destroy my congregation! What about the bit about me being sterile, huh? Now why in the world, if that was truly me, would I say such a thing? You know better than anyone that I am most certainly not sterile!”

  “Well,” she muttered, “that is true enough. But who? Who would go to the trouble and technical expense of making some tape to use to destroy you?”

  “Someone who wants me out of this town—and out of this house!”

  There was silence.

  I had burrowed deeper down under my covers and held my breath. Oh no. Oh God. I was in deep shit.

  “Stop that,” Jamie said from across the small living room in the apartment we shared.

  “What?” I asked, bringing myself back to the present.

  “Stop thinking about all that shit back home. It doesn’t serve a useful purpose.”

  I shrugged. He was right of course, but no matter how much time passed, or how far away I got, the pain and ugliness of my mother’s betrayal didn’t get any easier for me to digest. In fact, by the time that Avery had convinced her that the whole thing with the tape was nothing more than some high-tech, high jinks on my part to drive him away, and to bring humiliation to her, she was more than willing to go along with whatever punishment he saw fit to dish out.

  “What time is Melissa coming over?” I asked. Melissa was Jamie’s girlfriend, a school teacher at one of the elementary schools. Jamie had met her shortly after arriving in San Diego. She had an apartment in the same complex. I loved her like she was my own sister. She helped fill the void of losing Gina when I’d been forced out of Layton by my mother, stepfather, and many people in the Southern Baptist congregation who were more than happy to believe the best of Reverend Dawson and the worst of me.

  “She’ll be here at one. With a roasted turkey and all the trimmings, don’t worry.”

  “Have you…heard anything?”

  “No,” he snapped, “and trust me, I don’t care to hear anything from her or about her. If you had any sense, you’d put all of that out of your mind forever.”

  I felt my eyes well up, which was so not me. But then, Jamie wasn’t there to see the torture they both put me through. Mama buying Avery’s ridiculous story, turning it all around on me. And that Sunday service where the good Reverend had planned on “outing” me as being the bastard child of Monsignor Donahue?

  Never happened.

  Nope, he took his pulpit time for the few members of the congregation that did bother to show up to outline what had really happened, imploring them to spread the word around town. Being the dedicated members of his remaining flock, they were more than willing to do just that—only, of course, as people tend to do, with each retelling of Avery’s lie, the story became even more embellished. When it was all over, I was still the culprit, except that my motivation had been to steal Avery from my mother so that I could have him for myself.

  I had wanted to projectile vomit.

  In school, I couldn’t walk down the hall without hearing their smirks and whispers. Even the quiet kids wouldn’t look at me. Robin and Renee avoided me because their mother instructed them that under no uncertain terms were they to socialize with that little trollop. They apologized over and over, but still, they were quite comfortable in doing as instructed for once in their lives.

  And Gina?

  As any best friend would, Gina had my back. But it just wasn’t enough. I’d taken the hit and even my best friend seemed powerless to persuade her mother to come forth and declare the truth about Avery Dawson. After all, she had to protect her marriage to Eddie, Gina explained.

  I couldn’t fault Gina for supporting her mother, but it had cost us a friendship nevertheless. And I sure as hell lost every ounce of respect for Gloria Margolis-Sanders after that. Standing alone proved fruitless when fighting the righteous Southern Baptists of Layton, Alabama.

  A week later, I had received an airline ticket from my brother, and I packed my shit and left. Point Loma, California was my refuge—at least for the time being.

  Melissa opened the gifts I’d bought for her. She was so easy to please, so even tempered. She was perfect for my brother.

  “I so love these!” she squealed, holding up the Santa Claus house slippers I’d given her. “They are so fluffy and comfortable! Thank you, Sunny!”

  I smiled at her, pleased that she was happy. “Open the other one,” I said, pointing to the smaller box beside her.

  She pulled off the bow and paper, and opened the jeweler’s box. I watched as her eyes widened. I’d seen this silver necklace in the window of the jewelry store next to the coffee shop where I worked and knew that it would be perfect for Melissa. The delicate snowflake charm had her birthstone set in the middle.

  “Oh, Sunny,” she said, “this is simply gorgeous, but hey, it’s too much, you know?”

  “No, it isn’t,” I argued. “It is totally you. Here, let me fasten it for you,” I offered as she unclasped it and placed it around her neck. She pulled her hair up and I fastened the clasp.

  “There,” I said. “Turn around.�
��

  She did, her smile beamed as she gently fingered the snowflake.

  “I knew it would look perfect on you. I was right.”

  “Okay, okay,” Jamie piped up. “Are we done with this Kotex moment?”

  “Shut up!” we both said at the same time, laughing.

  Jamie handed me an envelope. “This is from both of us, Sunny. Merry Christmas.”

  I opened the card expecting some cash to fall out, but instead, a plane ticket dropped onto my lap. It was a round trip airline ticket from San Diego to Chicago scheduled for the first part of April.

  “I don’t understand?”

  Jamie and Melissa both laughed. “It’s a spring trip. A week in Chicago. Ever been there?” Melissa asked.

  “Nope. Never have.”

  “Well, you’re going to love it. And I’m going with you. I’m on spring break from school. We’ll have an awesome time. Shopping, concerts, checking out the sailors,” she said with a wink.

  “Hey now,” Jamie said. “Your sailor is right here, remember that.”

  “But why Chicago?” My curiosity was piqued.

  “Just thought maybe you’d like to see the third largest city in the U.S. We can check out the Art Institute, the museums, Millennium Park—”

  “I’m sold, I’m sold!,” I said, laughing. “This is freakin’ awesome! Thank you both so much.”

  They both smiled. My brother spoke first. “I wish I could go with you guys, but I’ll be out to sea for a month starting mid-March. Keep an eye on my girl, Sis, you hear?”

  Melissa gave him a playful smack. “I’m the one who should be worried. Maybe you have a chick in every port, huh?”

  “Yeah, that’s close,” he guffawed, pulling her onto his lap.

  They were perfect for one another I thought to myself. My heart was heavy with the notion that I may never find a soul mate. Hell, I’d never even gone steady with a boy. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, it was more about my reluctance to trust anyone or anything. And the past year had done more to cement that mistrust than the sixteen years prior, I realized.

  Guys flirted with me at the coffee shop; and I even got wolf whistles whenever I jogged the Silver Strand in the mornings. And as much as I envied the couples around me, I had the feeling that my heart was different than theirs.

  Maybe it had always been that way. Or maybe it was the fact that everyone in my life who was supposed to have loved me had, in some way or another, failed or deserted me. Jamie had good reason to leave, but Mama had no excuse. Michael Gardner had no excuse, and Gina?

  Well, Gina had turned out to be a poor excuse for a best friend it seemed. She’d written letters I’d never opened; made calls I wouldn’t take. It all seemed too little too late. After all, she’d stood by silently when she could’ve spoken up and told the people in Layton about the lies being told about me. But all Gina had cared about was protecting her mother. She made it obvious that her mother’s marriage to Eddie took priority over my reputation. Even the twins had remained silent. Granted, they didn’t know the facts that Gina and I knew, but even so one would think that friendship spawned some type of loyalty, right? Not a word in my defense from anyone.

  Fuck Layton, Alabama.

  Chapter 43

  Donna Dawson had been working feverishly for the past several weeks getting her daughter’s old room adequately cleaned since her departure several months ago. It had been the best thing for everyone she constantly reminded herself.

  She didn’t exactly know how her daughter was doing in San Diego. They’d had no contact since she’d announced she was going to live with her brother, Jamie. In fact, Jamie wasn’t speaking to her either. Obviously, Sunny had provided him with some spin on the truth. Besides that, Jamie had never cared for Avery either. Her children simply didn’t embrace Christianity anymore. Not that she’d pressed them much to do so while growing up. That had been her fault as Avery had pointed out numerous times, and he was right.

  Even with Sunny gone, Avery’s moods still remained erratic. He had made the decision to suspend his counseling sessions, saying that even though the false accusations were just that, false, he couldn’t help but feeling some of the men in his congregation had wavered in their loyalty to him. A few of them no longer attended services. Kenneth Martin being one of them.

  “I want to be above reproach, Donna,” he explained. “I won’t have the men of my congregation harboring any suspicions as a result of your daughter’s attempt to sabotage my ministry.”

  “But you said there was no truth to those stupid tapes. It was all fake.”

  “Well, of course it was. But she planted a nasty seed, don’t you see? It will take time before my flock is able to totally put that out of their minds. Right now, my focus has to be on getting this Christian Youth Group going and planning some fundraising activities for the church.”

  Donna pulled the bed out from the wall so that she could vacuum underneath it. There was no telling how long it had been since Sunny had thoroughly cleaned this room. That was when she spotted the white envelope that had somehow fallen under the bed. She turned off the vacuum and bent to pick it up.

  She immediately recognized her son’s neat handwriting on the outside of the envelope. It was a letter he’d sent to Sunny a few months back. She sat down on the edge of Sunny’s bed and pulled the letter out to read. She was taken aback when she read the part about Sunny being suspicious of her miscarriage.

  Sunny had known?

  Even Donna hadn’t been sure whether her fall had been an accident or not. Or maybe she just didn’t want to believe it could have been anything else, but how could Sunny have been so sure?

  She felt a warm tear escape and trickle down her cheek. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry for such a very long time. It felt almost foreign, but when another tear followed, and then another and another, it felt soothing and familiar.

  She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. She was thankful that Avery wasn’t home. Tears were something he didn’t tolerate. He thought they were a sign of weakness, and that women used them at will to manipulate men. But Donna wasn’t trying to manipulate anyone. She cried because she was sad.

  She had alienated her children. That much she knew. She had made the choice to honor her husband at any cost. Was that wrong? Avery had always preached marriage above all else. Her own parents had never paid much mind to her. In fact, she’d been raised by her own widowed grandmother from the age of six when her parents had split and her own mother had joined a traveling ministry. Her mother had never looked back. Donna was clueless as to whether she was alive or dead.

  Was that the legacy she wanted to leave her children? The same legacy that had been left to her? There was nothing she could do about it now she supposed. It wasn’t how she had intended things to go, but it hadn’t been easy balancing her marriage with Avery against the needs of her children who were practically grown. It would’ve been different if they’d been younger and more impressionable when Avery came into her life.

  Her previous husbands hadn’t held the same fascination for her that Avery Dawson had. That was a fact. It was difficult to understand let alone explain. There was just something about him that drew her in, no questions asked, no doubts allowed. She was drawn to him like a junkie to dope. And now she wondered if she’d sacrificed everything for a man she wasn’t even sure loved her.

  Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. She quickly dried her cheeks with the apron she’d tied around her waist earlier and went downstairs to see who it was.

  She opened the door, surprised to see Gina Margolis standing on the porch. It had been months since she’d crossed paths with Gloria’s daughter. She wasn’t even sure if she and Sunny were still in touch.

  “Gina,” she said, opening the door, “may I help you?”

  “I think maybe I can help you, m’am,” she replied. “May I come in?”

  Donna’s first instinct was to slam the door in her face. She certain
ly didn’t need any help; especially from the daughter of the one person in this town who wouldn’t think twice about destroying her.

  Again.

  “What’s this about?” she asked.

  “Sunny, mostly.”

  Donna reluctantly stood back to let the girl come in. “Have a seat in the living room. Have you heard from Sunny? I gave you the contact information you asked for.”

  “No, ma’am, I haven’t,” she said, taking a seat on the sofa. “But then, I can’t much blame her for that. She won’t take my calls. I doubt if she’s even opening my letters. I really messed up.”

  Donna took a seat in a chair and folded her hands in her lap. “I don’t understand.”

  “May I call you Donna? It would help me try to explain this to you if I could.”

  Donna nodded. “Go ahead, Gina.”

  “Okay, cool. I really need for you to hear me out, Donna. I’m not here to upset you, I’m here to make things right for Sunny, something I should’ve done months ago. I was a coward. Not for myself, but in order to protect my mother. It was wrong. And my telling you what I’m about to tell you isn’t easy, but it is the truth. So hear me out, please?”

  Donna swallowed nervously, and nodded. “Please continue.”

  And for the next twenty minutes, her head swam with the realization that no matter how much she wanted to deny what she was hearing from Gina Margolis, the proof she offered was unassailable.

  Once Gina unloaded her backpack, the files she copied, the cassette tapes she played irrefutably proved that her husband had, in fact, been carrying on sexually with various female members of his own congregation.

  “How did you get this?” Donna asked, once she’d seen the evidence.

  “Me and Sunny got it that day she was there to help you clean the carpets. We did it to help my mother.”

  “Your mother?”