Secrets and Lies: A Collection of Heart-stopping Psychological Thrillers

by M K Farrar

  “Go on,” the blonde said, nudging the drink closer. “It’s for you.”

  “Oh, that’s okay. I’ve already got a drink.” She was flustered, her cheeks heating. Attention from anyone—male or female—always caused this reaction in her, and her red hair and pale skin always made the blushing worse.

  “Yeah, I know. But if we got to suffer this bunch of dickheads, I figured we’d need some more alcohol.” She slid into the seat beside her. “I’m May, by the way.”

  She surprised a smile out of her. “I’m Sarah.”

  The blonde, May, stuck out her hand. “It’s good to meet you, Sarah. You look like the only sane person in here.”

  Sarah laughed. The girl couldn’t be further from the truth, but she wasn’t going to tell her that.

  May leaned in closer. “Is it just me, or does everyone here look like they literally left home yesterday.”

  “I think that’s because they did leave home yesterday.”

  “Losers. I left home when I was seventeen. I couldn’t wait to be out of there.”

  She piqued Sarah’s curiosity. “Yeah? How old are you now?”

  “Nineteen now, though I’ll be twenty in three weeks. How about you?”

  “Already twenty,” she said, her shoulders sagging in relief. It might have been only a matter of a year or two, but she was relieved to find someone who was basically the same age. All these eighteen-year-olds were driving her crazy.

  May laughed. “So, we’re the old gits in here, huh?”

  “Looks like it.”

  She lifted her glass and clinked it to Sarah’s. “Well, I’ll drink to that.”

  FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS, Sarah finally started to feel as though she fit in. May was easy to talk to, and it seemed others felt the same way. May acted like a bridge between Sarah and the other students, and gradually Sarah found herself pulled into the different social groups. May didn’t seem to have one group in particular, but lurked on the outskirts of many, yet somehow didn’t seem to have the same crippling anxiety Sarah had when it came to going up and speaking to people. They joined a couple of clubs together and got to know people that way, too. But deep down Sarah always knew the new friends were May’s friends, really. They tolerated her because May brought her along, but that was all.

  Sarah didn’t care. Life was easier with May around. They didn’t share many classes—May was studying drama, while Sarah was doing English Literature—but it didn’t matter. May had a room down the hall from her own, so she was always around when Sarah needed her.

  Things were good for awhile. Sarah had finally found her place in the world. Her parents were happy she was doing so well, and it was agreed all round that going to university had been the right decision.

  Then May met someone.

  Zach was an older guy, in his third year studying marine biology. He and May hit it off right away. He was one of those easy-going, cool guys, who loved to travel and had big dreams of all the exciting places his degree was going to take him. May was besotted, but Sarah could see he wasn’t right for her. May followed him around, desperate for even a crumb of his attention. He treated her as though she was only a bit of fun, happy to have around at the weekends, or at a party, but never wanting anything more than that. Sarah tried to get May to understand, but the more she spoke badly of Zach, the more May distanced herself from Sarah. She even tried to warn Zach off a couple of times, telling him that May deserved better than him, but that got back to May, and the two of them fought.

  Sarah could feel the distance growing between them, pulling them apart with every passing day. She did everything she could to try to bring them back together again, but the more she tried, the worse it got.

  Thoughts started to creep into Sarah’s head that something bad would happen to May when they weren’t together. At first it was all about Zach, her worrying he would only end up hurting May, but then other things started to creep in. Sarah worried May would be run over by a car, or electrocuted by a rogue plug socket. And then her fears and paranoia, all the little voices whispering in her head about all the bad things that would happen to her, often describing them and the aftermath in detail, started to move outside of her head. She heard the television telling her these things, even when the TV was off, or the radio whispering them into her ear. Then, one night when she was lying in bed, listening to the voices, she realised something. The voices weren’t coming from all those other places. No, they were inside the walls of the building.

  It wasn’t her imagination. Whoever the voices belonged to lived inside the walls, and they were going to hurt May.

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Present Day

  ELLEN STARED AT HER with wide, terrified eyes. “What did you do?” she repeated, still huddled in the nest of Olivia’s clothing which she’d created for herself.

  Olivia glanced away, her eyes flooding with tears, everything around her shimmering like looking through fractured glass.

  “The voices got worse. They were coming from inside the walls, whispering things to me, horrible things. They said they were going to hurt May, and they’d describe the awful things they were going to do to her. I started picking away at the walls—just a little bit at first, but then making the hole bigger and bigger. I hid it with a poster, because deep down I guess I knew things weren’t right in my head, but I didn’t know how to stop it.

  “But the voices kept coming. They were telling me how they could move through the walls of the building to get into May’s room down the hall. They said they were watching her sleep, and talked about how helpless she was, and how they could do all these awful things to her—” Her voice broke, and she clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to contain her emotions enough to continue. Ellen was still watching her in horror, like she was a car crash she couldn’t quite bring herself to look away from. They’d known each other for two years, and Liv had never made a single mention of the mental health problems that had plagued her for most of her life.

  “I tried to find them—the people the voices belonged to—but every time I thought I’d managed to catch one of them in the walls, they always slipped away. I started to think of how I could get them out, how I could force them to come out, and I came up with a plan. I knew when they were in there, because they told me how they liked to watch May sleep, so I decided the night time was the best option. I stuffed a whole heap of crunched up paper in the hole I’d created in my bedroom wall, and then I set fire to it with a lighter. I hadn’t thought the flames would catch on so quickly. My plan was to smoke them out, that was all. To make it so they weren’t able to breathe in there, and they’d be forced to come out. I hadn’t known how quickly the flames would spread, but they caught up inside the walls of the student halls and tore straight through them. The building was old, and there was something they’d used when they’d created all the dividing walls for the student bedrooms that should never have passed fire regulations. But because it was inside the walls, I didn’t even realise how badly it had spread until everything started to bubble and peel.”

  She shook her head and covered her face with her hands.

  “Jesus Christ,” Ellen muttered, horrified. She picked up the empty bottle of water in her shaking hand and tried to drain the last dregs, only to find it empty.

  “When I realised what was happening, that I hadn’t smoked anyone out, but instead had set fire to the student halls, I ran. I banged on all the doors, but it all happened so fast. We were three stories up, so everyone started to converge on the stairwell, pushing and shoving each other to get down the stairs. Some people had already got in the lift, but then it got stuck, and we could hear the students screaming inside. It was chaos. I couldn’t tell if May was with everyone, and the heat and flames had got so bad by then I couldn’t go back to check.”

  “I remember that happening,” Ellen said, aghast. “It was in the student accommodation in Manchester.”

  Liv nodded. “I was lucky. No one died, but May was severely bu
rned. She lost all the hair from one side of her head and had to go through numerous skin grafts. It could have been worse, but there isn’t a day that goes by when I’m not eaten up with guilt about what I did. I ended up in a psychiatric unit for five years. When I got out, I moved to London and became Olivia.”

  “Your guilt didn’t stop you hurting me, though,” Ellen said, tears in her eyes. “You forgot all about what you did when you were drugging me and locking me inside here.”

  “I’m sorry, Ellen. I’m so sorry. I thought I was keeping you safe.”

  “Just like that poor girl you burned at university,” she spat. “You’re sick, Liv. You need help.”

  “I know, I know.” She put her face in her hands again and sobbed, great, heart-wrenching sobs. Ellen made no move to comfort her, and she didn’t blame her in the slightest. She didn’t deserve any comfort, not after everything she’d done.

  “I saw Zach,” she managed to say eventually. “I was with Michael in the city, and he saw me and recognised me. I was so frightened he was going to tell Michael what I’d done, and then everyone would know what a terrible person I was. I thought he was following me, that he planned some kind of revenge for what I’d done to May.”

  “It’s a shame he wasn’t, because then maybe none of this would have ever happened.”

  Ellen got to her feet, putting her hands out either side to support herself against the wardrobe walls as she staggered out on weak, trembling legs. “I’m going to call the police now, Liv, and I don’t want you to stop me.”

  “I won’t,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

  And she stayed that way, kneeling on the wardrobe floor, until the police arrived to take her away.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Six Weeks Later

  OLIVIA LAY ON THE NARROW bed of her hospital room, staring up at the ceiling.

  She was feeling better now, though the drugs they gave her dulled her senses and made it so she didn’t quite feel like herself. The doctors told her it wouldn’t be forever, just long enough to make sure the drugs were working, and then they’d be able to start to reduce the dosage again.

  It wasn’t so bad here. She was allowed to feed the fish kept in a tank in the common room and help serve up the meals, as long as she made sure each patient got the same amount and didn’t play favourites. Liv didn’t have any favourites. She kept herself distant from everyone else, knowing her and friendships didn’t mix so well. It was fine. She was happy with her own company.

  A knock came at her door, and she half sat.

  “You have a visitor, Olivia,” said one of the nurses.

  She sat up straighter. Her parents had been here a few days earlier, and she wasn’t expecting anyone else.

  Olivia climbed off the bed and left her room to go to the common room where the patients met with visitors.

  Her heart jolted as she spotted a familiar blonde head. As though she’d sensed her enter, Ellen turned in her seat.

  The two women locked eyes, and Liv’s breath caught. She’d come here to see her, but what would she say? Would it be anger and accusations? She couldn’t blame Ellen if she hated her and was furious with her. After what she’d done, she deserved it, but that didn’t make it any easier to take.

  Olivia took a seat opposite her ex-best friend. “You’ve come to see me?”

  Ellen nodded. “Yes, I have. This doesn’t mean we’re friends, though.”

  “Then why are you here?”

  Ellen gave a shrug. “I’m not sure. Closure, I guess. I wanted to see how you were. I understand that you were sick and you didn’t do what you did to hurt me.”

  Tears filled Liv’s eyes. She’d cried so much over the past six weeks. Even the numbness from the drugs hadn’t been able to stop the tears. “I’m so sorry, Elles. I should have got help sooner. If I’d realised, I would have. I swear to you. There were signs, and I shouldn’t have ignored them, but I didn’t do it intentionally.”

  She nodded. “I know that.”

  “How’s Michael?” she dared to ask. “Have you seen or spoken to him at all?”

  “Only the once since you were committed. His wife found out everything, of course. It wasn’t only you he was cheating on her with. He’d been sleeping with his secretary, too. It came out because one of his work colleagues had caught him having sex with her over his desk. Apparently Michael had begged him not to say anything, and claimed it was a one-off, but then when everything came out about you, it was all over the papers, and his colleague spilled the beans, too.”

  Liv gave a cold laugh. “He told me about that during one of our early dates, but he said he was the one who had caught the colleague and the secretary.”

  “Wow.” Ellen pulled a face. “That guy certainly had some nerve, right? I mean, I know he didn’t deserve what you did to him any more than I did, but it really couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.”

  Liv didn’t miss the sarcasm in her tone.

  “Even if he was a terrible person, it still doesn’t excuse what I did.” Her hands rested on the table between them, and she picked at the dried skin around her nails, picking, picking, picking, until specks of blood appeared against her skin.

  “No, it doesn’t, but you didn’t do anything out of hate, Liv. You did it because you thought it was for the best.”

  She lifted her gaze to meet Ellen’s. “Didn’t I? What about Tammy? What about Holly Newie? How do we know I didn’t hurt them? I still don’t remember what happened during those blackouts. Maybe I never will.”

  “You just latched onto Holly Newie because you were sick, Liv. Michael still insists he’s never even met the woman, and I tend to believe him. And as for Tammy, well, you know what she was like. I spoke to Tammy’s mother when we cleared out the flat. She’s heartbroken but not surprised it came to this. Tammy had a history of drug abuse that goes back to her teenage years.”

  “She did?”

  Ellen nodded. “Yes, she did. It had nothing to do with you. It was just bad luck that the two of you ended up living together.”

  It occurred to Liv that she and Tammy had had more in common than they’d realised. Perhaps if either of them had actually opened up about who they really were, they might have even been friends.

  “What about you?” Liv asked. “How have you been, after everything?”

  She nodded and glanced down. “I’m okay. Suffering from nightmares and panic attacks, but they’re getting better.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, looking down at her hands again.

  “I saw Ryan and the new woman,” Ellen continued. “She has a bump now, and she was ordering Ryan around like she was an invalid, and he was chasing around after her, doing everything she said.”

  Liv bit her lower lip. “I’m sorry about that, too. About not telling you sooner.”

  Ellen shrugged. “It’s fine. I understand why you didn’t. You kind of had a lot going on in that head of yours. It was Ryan’s fault for cheating on me in the first place, not yours. You should never have been burdened with his lies on top of everything else.”

  “So, you forgive me for that part, at least?” she asked hopefully.

  “Yes, for that part.” Ellen gave a sigh. “Look, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m not going to make a habit of visiting you.”

  “I know that,” she said, her voice small.

  “You understand why we can’t be friends anymore, don’t you, Liv?” She shook her head. “I mean Sarah.” Ellen gave a small, nervous laugh. “I don’t know what to call you anymore.”

  “Liv,” Olivia said. “I changed my name legally. It’s still Liv.”

  She nodded. “Okay, good. It feels weird to call you something else. Anyway, I just wanted to come and say goodbye.”

  “Thank you for coming.”

  Ellen got to her feet and gave Liv one final, tight smile before turning away and walking from the common room.

  Olivia stayed where she was for a moment, trying to keep her
emotions in check. She didn’t trust her emotions. If she lost the small grip she had on herself, she didn’t think she would ever get it back again.

  Movement in front of her caught her attention, and, for the briefest of moments, she thought Ellen had come back again. But then she saw it was one of the other patients, a blonde woman a couple of years younger than she was, who she’d seen around but hadn’t spoken to.

  “Was that your friend?” the young woman asked.

  Liv nodded, not trusting herself to speak just yet.

  The blonde woman smiled. “You know, it would be nice to have a friend in here, too. I’ve seen you around, and I thought you looked like my kind of person.”

  Olivia allowed a small smile to touch her lips. “You have?” It was all she ever wanted, just to be liked, to be accepted.

  “Of course.” The blonde stuck her hand across the table. “My name’s Grace.”

  Liv hesitated for a moment and then shook it. “Hello, Grace. I’m Olivia.”

  Acknowledgments

  Writing a book can be somewhat of a solitary process, but the actual creation of a book, and bringing it to publication, involves a whole team of people. There are a lot of folks I need to thank, so bear with me, and if I’ve missed anyone, it’s because I have a terrible memory, not that I didn’t appreciate you!

  Thank you to my long time editor, Lori Whitwam, and my proofreaders, Tammy Payne, Linda Helme, and Karey McComish, for your sharp eyes. Many thanks to my first reader on this book, Glynis Elliott, for all your encouragement. Hearing those words ‘it’s the best thing you’ve written’ is ultimately what I strive for. I was thrilled you loved Some They Lie so much.

  Thank you to fellow authors Mel Comley and Shalini Boland, for allowing me to pick your brains when necessary, and for all of your support as well. I’m truly grateful.