Xavier half grinned at me.
I opened my mouth and flicked my tongue to his thumb to taste the melted marshmallow he wiped from my lip.
His other hand moved into the blanket and he touched the bottom of my hoodie. There was no hiding my body… it wasn’t like I was wearing one of his hoodies…
His fingertips touched my leg. Then my inner thigh. Then my…
“Ahh,” I said again but for a very different reason.
I leaned forward and rested my head against his chest.
His fingers made circles between my legs. He stole my thoughts. He traded them for pleasure. It was definitely a fair trade for sure.
He moved carefully between my legs, gently pressing against my core, entering me.
I sucked in a breath and felt him offering his fingers as far as they were allowed to go.
I moved to my toes as my hips rocked forward, wanting more.
Xavier then reversed his movement and disappeared from my body.
When I exhaled, I looked up at him.
“You really didn’t want to drink that hot chocolate, did you?”
“Are you asking me if I would rather drink hot chocolate or have sex with you?”
“What if I am?”
“That’s a tough decision to make.”
Xavier curled his lip. He reached back and grabbed my mug.
Then in one quick motion, he threw the mug across the kitchen to the sink.
It hit the sink and the mug exploded into pieces.
Chocolate and melted marshmallow sprayed all over the sink and the backsplash.
“I guess you didn’t like my answer,” I whispered.
Xavier moved down and kissed me.
He picked me up into his arms and carried me through the kitchen to the steps.
Note to self: when Xavier gets pissed and jealous, he somehow becomes even hotter.
I started to wake up and felt someone kissing my shoulder.
I wiggled my shoulder and took a deep breath.
The kissing continued.
Then I felt a hand slide between my arm and my side. All the way around to my left breast. Then fingertips touched my nipple, down and back up.
I sucked in a breath and wiggled again.
The hand grabbed my breast. Tight.
My eyes popped open.
I had two thoughts.
Brock… or Emily…
I quickly turned to make sure I was in bed with Xavier.
Which I was.
He had sleepy eyes. They were still dark and evil, but in the morning sunlight, just awakened, there was almost a hint of kindness to his eyes.
“Bad dream?” he asked.
“More like a bad memory,” I said.
“Of?”
“You don’t want to know.”
His hand moved to my right breast. Again, his fingertips caressed my nipple, making circles around it, even gently flicking it. Enough to tickle me. And enough to turn me on. My body was fully awake, signals firing in all directions, but of course they all gathered to one tender spot between my legs.
Xavier inched closer to me and I felt his hardness touch me.
We were both awake and turned on…
“You thought I was someone else,” he whispered. “Just now.”
“I’m not used to waking up in the same bed as you, Xavier.”
“We’ve never done it before.”
“Exactly.”
“Who did you think it was?”
“Troc…”
Xavier lifted his head. “Did you sleep with a Troc?”
“No,” I said.
“Did a Troc try to make a move on you?”
“No,” I said.
“Are you sure?”
“The closest was a girl named Emily. But she had someone else to fuck.”
“I can’t stand those pieces of shit, Winter. They try to play it all off as being rugged and tough and cool. But it’s not that.”
“Xavier,” I said. “I’m in my bed. With you.” I moved my right leg over his body. “I don’t want to be anywhere else right now.”
“I can’t stand the thought of you sleeping in that Troc’s house,” he said. “In a bed. With people there. With their fucking…”
“You’re jealous,” I whispered. “And worried.”
“Of course I am. I should have broken down the fucking door and got you out of there.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked. “Why did you guys leave that note and ditch me?”
“Anger,” he said. “And we wanted to see what you would do. We weren’t sure if you were going to try and get the money and take off or what. But you hid. With a fucking Troc…”
“Talon was my protection,” I said. “I paid him for that. But then…” I closed my mouth. I rolled to my back. “Never mind.”
“What?” Xavier asked.
“We should get dressed. Want to walk on the beach with me?”
“I’d rather move on top of you and wake you up in a different way,” he said.
“Maybe tomorrow,” I said with a smile.
I moved out of the bed and took a blanket with me.
I got dressed in the bathroom and when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I blushed.
I met Xavier outside.
The first thing he did was take my hand.
There was something subtle and sweet about walking the beach with him by my side.
The only problem was that it was fake.
Not us together. But the feeling of innocence and happiness.
“The Troc thing,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“Is it because of Gia?”
I felt Xavier’s entire attitude change.
“That was news to me,” Xavier said. “That she’s fucking around with a Troc.”
“You beat him up,” I said. “So you’re good now?”
“No,” he said. “If Gia wasn’t there I would have killed him.”
“Xavier…”
“You wanted to know,” he said.
“I don’t get it. She’s happy. She’s been through a lot. She goes through a lot on a daily basis. If she’s happy…”
Xavier stopped walking and turned to face me. “What do you want to know right now?”
“How long have you known about her? Why didn’t you do something about it? She’s my best friend, Xavier. And I used to treat her like shit. I was a terrible person before the accident. I hate myself for who I used to be. And now I-”
“Now you think you can make it up to her,” Xavier said.
“So you’re going to be an asshole to me now?”
“You’re digging deep here.”
“So what?”
Xavier swallowed hard. “You don’t back down, Winter. Then or now. That didn’t change in the accident. And now… we have people following us and you’re worried about Gia and some fucking Troc.”
“I’m worried about Gia’s happiness,” I said. “I’ve seen her have anxiety attacks. Panic attacks. I’ve seen her scared. I’ve seen her almost hurt herself.”
Xavier’s jaw tightened. “I found out a few years ago. Okay? By accident. You know my parents are split up, right? Of course you do. My father just fucks around. I hate him for a lot of reasons, but at the same time I appreciate he’s not like Noah and Easton’s fathers. Even still… what a scumbag.”
“So your mother…”
“Deb,” Xavier said.
“Yeah,” I said. “She helped me with my dress. At the ball.”
“I know,” he said. “She told me. She told me you were beautiful and perfect.”
“Does she know you know the truth?” I asked.
“No,” Xavier said. “She was a decent mother to me. She believed in me. When I wanted to open the shop, she allowed it to happen. My father hated it. But we’re talking about Gia. And how it all happened.”
“I know how it all happened,” I said. “Gia told me.”
“That my father fucked some other wom
an, got her pregnant, and then took the baby?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“And you’re asking why I don’t… what? Hang out with Gia? Talk to Gia? For what? To have everyone think we’re fucking each other? In secret? Or… tell everyone the truth? Ruin people, families, names…”
“You have a sister,” I said.
“Yeah.”
“A sister who could use your help sometimes.”
“Like right now?” Xavier asked. “I could take that Troc out for good and get her head straight.”
“I don’t think that will work,” I said.
“Want to bet?”
“You’re protective of her…”
“Do you want to know how I found out about her?”
“Yeah.”
Xavier turned and grabbed my hand and started to walk back toward the beach house.
“My father got way too drunk one night. He fell in love with a woman that was really young. She was only twenty-two. The allure of banging an older guy wore off and she cheated on him. I thought it was kind of funny. He was drunk, emotional, and kept changing between being pissed and being sad. And he just told me. He said that my mother wasn’t my mother. He said she couldn’t have a baby so he came up with a plan. He used a woman to get a baby out of her. It was the most fucked up story I ever heard. And at the center of it was me. I was the pawn. The piece. The prize. To him it was the ultimate showing of his love for my mother. Getting her a baby no matter what.”
“But that left Gia’s mother a mess…”
“Yeah,” Xavier said. “It did.” He took a deep breath. “When I found out, I debated what to do. I’ve kept an eye on Gia the best I can. There were rumors about her and I stopped them.”
“What kind of rumors?”
“About her hurting herself,” he said. “About her and some running friends. I beat the shit out of anyone who talked bad about her. That’s all I can do. For now. I didn’t know she knew.”
“Now you know,” I said. “So what are you going to do about it?”
Xavier looked down at me. “You know, nobody in my life talks to me the way you do.”
“I’m not as afraid of you as you think I am, Xavier.”
“That could be the biggest mistake of your life, Winter.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
We were at the deck steps and I looked back to the ocean.
“Winter, we have to finish what we started,” he said. “We have to figure out who’s following us. This whole fooling around, sipping hot chocolate, and walking the beach thing is fun…”
“I know,” I said. “Before things get too crazy, there’s something I have to do.”
“What?” Xavier asked.
I swallowed hard and looked up at him. “I have to talk to Noah… privately.”
Chapter 13
What it never was
I was nervous to see Noah.
Xavier was with me for most of the morning into the day but I had to get rid of him. I didn’t want Noah to see me and him together and get pissed. I wasn’t sure what was talked about, known, or assumed.
We were all in danger and the last thing I needed was to have everyone’s hormones go crazy over me.
It was kind of flattering in a way, but still… no.
I drank coffee and stood out on the deck and waited for Noah to show up.
My mind raced and my body ached in a good way.
Xavier… finally…
I took a deep breath.
Then I heard Noah.
Behind me.
He was inside the beach house, coming through to the back door.
I turned and watched him slide the glass door open and step outside.
He made me smile.
Now that I knew he wasn’t the one who tried to kill me…
Noah was just Noah.
The nice white shirt. The nice pants and shoes.
Dressed like a good-looking young businessman.
But I knew the blood that was on his hands and shirts.
That’s what gave him his edge.
“Are you settled yet?” he asked.
“Want some coffee?” I offered.
“No,” he said. “Answer my question.”
“You’re jumpy.”
“I’m annoyed.”
“Why?”
“You lied to us,” he said. “You wasted all that time.”
“I didn’t remember it.”
“And we’re supposed to believe you?”
I swallowed hard. “I get it. You’re pissed at me. You have every right to be. I thought you guys were the ones who tried to kill me. That’s why I did it. I don’t want to repeat the same story I told Xavier.”
“Xavier. He was here?”
“Before you, yeah.”
He was here last night too…
Noah nodded. “So you’re talking to us one by one?”
“I guess so. I have things to say. Things to figure out still.”
“And you needed me… why?”
“There are pieces I can’t figure out,” I said. “I might never remember. So I’m filling in the blanks by talking to you guys. Xavier told me about the money. My father. Your father. Easton’s father.”
“Yeah, I know all about it,” he said. “And we were going to swipe as much as we could grab and leave. We all had our plans figured out. Nobody was going to do a thing to us. They don’t care about losing money. They care about losing power. They would never come after us because admitting what we did would make them look weak.”
“And you and I were going to run off together,” I said.
“Do you remember that?”
I shook my head. “Not much. I have faint memories. Bits and pieces of our conversations. Of you and I…”
Noah moved closer to me. “It was a wild idea, Winter. Running off together. But I like wild ideas. I like you. You were wild to come up with this idea.”
“Noah…”
He touched my face and I froze.
Shit.
“It’s okay, Winter,” he said. “We can ease back into everything again. I can tell you everything that happened. And I swear on my life it’ll be the truth and nothing else but that. Then you can see what you remember. Anything you don’t remember, I’ll do again. To help you remember it. That’s who I am. That’s what I’m willing to do for you. I hope you know that.”
“Noah…”
“Before that,” he said, “I have something I need to do.”
Noah lowered down to kiss me.
I moved out of the way just in time.
I took a deep breath and blushed.
There had been a small fraction of second where I saw him kissing me and…
“No,” I said.
“What the hell, Winter?” Noah asked.
He grabbed the railing.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“You don’t remember it?”
“Noah…”
“It’s okay,” he said. He looked at me. “You and I had something together. From the beginning of this entire plan. You and I were close, Winter. We talked about running off together. I can show you messages in my phone if you want. Full conversations between us.”
I shook my head.
“What?”
“I need you to listen to me.”
“About what?”
“I don’t understand this whole thing yet,” I said. “The money. The plan. All that. What I know is that someone tried to kill me. And now someone is following me. And they’re following you guys. That’s the part we all need to figure out together. I don’t want anyone hurt or confused any more though about what I remember. And about what I feel.”
“What you feel?”
“I was a bad person before the accident, Noah. I hung out with those snobby bitches and I was the one who led it all. I may have never lifted a fist to someone’s face like you guys have done, but I hurt a lot of people. I knew how to crush people emotionally. That was my thing.
I knew how to get into someone’s head or heart and really…”
I stopped and took a breath.
I covered my mouth for a second.
“What are you getting at here?” Noah asked.
“I never liked you. I never wanted you. I was never going to run off with you. I wanted Xavier. I wanted him all along. I had a thing for him. And I still do.”
Noah gripped the railing and looked at the ocean.
His nostrils flared. His jaw tightened so hard, it was a curved piece of steel.
“That’s why he was here first,” Noah said. “And I bet he wasn’t just here for a minute to talk.”
“Noah, please listen to me,” I said. “I never thought…”
“What?” he growled. “You never thought what? Huh?”
“I never thought things would end up this way.”
“What way? You don’t remember half of everything.”
“I know my feelings now,” I said.
“Now?”
“And then.”
“So you never cared about me?”
“Not the way you cared about me,” I said. “That’s the truth. I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want to hurt you. I did want to hurt you… but now I know the truth.”
Noah pushed from the railing. “You did want to hurt me. Because you thought I had something to do with your accident. But before your accident… you wanted to hurt me?”
“I wanted to hurt everyone then,” I said. “I told you, I wasn’t a good person then. I have to face that now.”
“You have to face that… and then fall back on the fact that you were in an accident. That’s your excuse.”
“No it’s not. It’s the truth. I woke up and had no memory, Noah. Zero memory. Then I saw you guys and it came back. But not all of it. Even still, my heart felt what it felt.”
“For Xavier.”
“Yeah.”
“And even before the accident… did you and him…”
Noah couldn’t ask the question.
He was the cliché of what he had just gotten done talking about.
Money and power.
Me loving Xavier and not him was like me taking his power away.
And that crushed him hard.
“Xavier and I never did anything before the accident,” I said. “Did I want something to happen? Yeah. Did I flirt with him? Yeah. Did I tease him? Yeah. And I did the same to you.”
Devious Love (Bay Falls High NEXT Book 3) Page 12