Dear to Me

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Melinda quickly explained the way she’d discovered Gabe teaching Isaiah how to shoot and how they had argued, and then Gabe had broken things off.

  Susie’s expression was solemn. “I can’t believe you’d be so narrisch. Don’t you realize how much Gabe loves you?”

  “I’m not being foolish.” Melinda shrugged. “I guess Gabe doesn’t love me as much as I thought.”

  “Maybe there’s something you can say or do to make Gabe change his mind.”

  Melinda shook her head as tears clouded her vision. “I would have to give up caring for animals if we got back together.”

  Susie’s eyebrows lifted. “Why would you have to do that? You’re caring for animals now, aren’t you?”

  Melinda didn’t know how to respond. It was true—she was caring for some animals, but in a very small way. The little bit she did for the animals she rescued was nothing compared to how she would be able to help them if she became a vet. “We’d better get inside,” she said, moving toward the house. “There’s no point discussing this because it won’t change a thing. Besides, church will be starting soon.”

  Susie touched Melinda’s arm. “If you’ve broken up with Gabe, does that mean you won’t be at the young people’s gathering tonight?”

  Melinda nodded. “I had planned on going until our breakup, but not now. It wouldn’t seem right.”

  “But you’ll miss all the fun if you don’t go.”

  Melinda shrugged.

  Susie stared at the ground. “I guess if you’re not going, then I won’t, either.”

  Melinda felt as if a heavy weight rested on her shoulders. Susie had no boyfriend to take her home from the gathering, but she’d obviously been looking forward to going. If Susie stays home on account of me, she’ll be miserable, and I’ll feel guilty for days.

  Melinda forced her lips to form a smile. “Jah, okay. I’ll go tonight.”

  “You look like you’ve been sucking on a bunch of sour grapes,” Aaron said to Gabe as they climbed down from their buggies.

  Gabe moved to the front of his buggy and started to unhitch the horse. “Yesterday, Melinda and I broke up,” he mumbled.

  Aaron skirted around his own rig. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No, it’s the truth.”

  “But I thought you two were crazy in love.”

  Gabe grunted. “I used to think that, too.”

  “What happened?”

  “Melinda caught me in the woods behind their place teaching her little bruder how to shoot a gun.”

  Aaron reached under his hat and scratched the back of his head. “That’s all? She broke up with you because you were teaching her brother to shoot?”

  “Actually, it was me who broke up with her, but I think she agrees that things could never work out between us.” Gabe grabbed his horse’s bridle and led him toward the corral, where several other horses milled about.

  Aaron followed, leaving his own horse hitched to the buggy. “If you love the woman so much, why don’t you fight for her?”

  “Melinda’s love for animals has come between us,” Gabe said. “She doesn’t want me to hunt, either.” He was tempted to tell his friend the rest of the story but figured Aaron might blab to someone else that Melinda wanted to become a vet. Gabe felt sure it would be better for everyone if he kept that information to himself.

  “I think it’s ridiculous that Melinda would object to you hunting. She can’t save every deer in the woods.” Aaron shook his head. “If you want my opinion, Melinda’s got verhuddelt thinking.”

  “It might be confused thinking to you and me, but it isn’t to her.”

  Aaron leaned against the corral while Gabe put his horse inside. “What are you going to do about this?”

  Gabe turned his hands palm up. “What can I do?” Besides give up hunting and leave the Amish faith so Melinda can fulfill her crazy, selfish dream.

  “I know what I would do,” Aaron said.

  “What’s that?”

  “I’d tell Melinda she’s verhuddelt and that she needs to come to her senses.”

  Gabe shook his head. “That would only make things worse. The best thing I can do at this point is to pray about our situation.”

  “You never know. Melinda might change her mind about you hunting. Women are prone to that, you know,” Aaron said with a serious expression.

  Gabe gave his horse a gentle pat and left the corral. “You’d best get your horse in here. Church will be starting soon.”

  “You’re right.” Aaron followed Gabe back to his horse and buggy. “You know, this whole ordeal you’re going through with Melinda is just one more reason why I’m never getting married!”

  Maybe Aaron had the right idea about marriage, Gabe thought. Maybe it would have been better if he’d never allowed himself to fall in love with Melinda.

  Chapter 25

  Melinda didn’t know why she had let Susie talk her into attending the young people’s gathering, but there she sat, alone on a bale of straw in Abe Martin’s barn. It was hard to watch others engage in playing games and sharing friendly banter. Everyone but her seemed to be having a good time. How could she enjoy herself when she wasn’t with Gabe and wouldn’t be riding home in his buggy at the close of the evening?

  It might have been easier if Gabe hadn’t been here tonight, but he was standing in front of the punch bowl talking to Mattie Byler. Had he found a replacement for Melinda so soon? The thought of Gabe courting someone else made Melinda’s stomach feel queasy, and unbidden tears sprang to her eyes. She sniffed and swiped them away when Susie plunked down beside her.

  “Guess what?”

  Susie seemed excited about something, but in Melinda’s glum mood, it was all she could do to respond with a shrug.

  “I can’t believe it, but Jonas Byler asked if he could give me a ride home in his buggy tonight.”

  “Mattie’s brother?”

  “Jah. Jonas is five years older than me, and until now he’s never given me so much as a second glance.” Susie grinned. “Maybe Jonas sees me in a different light now and realizes that I’m not a little girl anymore.”

  “That could be.”

  “If Jonas decides he likes me, maybe he will stay here and not return to Montana after all.”

  “Maybe so.”

  “I hear tell many Amish folks who have moved to remote settlements like those in Montana don’t stay very long.” Susie popped a couple of her knuckles, the way Melinda’s mother often did. “Jonas says…”

  Melinda broke off a piece of straw and clenched it between her teeth. She really didn’t care about any of this but didn’t want to appear rude.

  “I’ve never traveled much and would like the chance to see some of the states out West,” Susie went on to say. “Jonas says the Amish who live in northern Montana have log homes, only they’re much nicer than those the pioneers used to live in.”

  Melinda listened halfheartedly as her aunt droned on about Jonas and Montana. It was hard for Melinda to concentrate on anything other than Gabe and Mattie, who stood off by themselves in one corner of the barn with their heads together.

  Susie nudged her arm. “What was that?”

  “Oh, nothing.” Melinda stood, smoothing the wrinkles in her dark blue dress. “I think I’ll go outside for a breath of fresh air.”

  “Would you like some company?”

  Melinda shook her head. “If Jonas plans to take you home tonight, you’d better stay put. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your first date with him because of me.”

  “I’m sure he won’t leave without me. Besides, the gathering’s not over yet.”

  “Just the same, I’d rather be alone if you don’t mind.”

  Susie shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

  Melinda noticed Jonas heading their way with two glasses of punch, so she hurried off. At least Susie was having a good time this evening, and she deserved to be happy.

  Outside, Melinda wandered around the yard, staring up at th
e sky and studying the bright, full moon and thousands of brilliant stars twinkling like fireflies in the night sky. She thought about an old yodeling song her mother had taught her a few years ago.

  With arms folded and face lifted toward the night sky, she quietly sang the words of the song. “O silvery moon, I’m so lonely tonight; to stroll once again in your beautiful light. There’s a fellow I adore and a longing to see, in that beautiful Yo Ho Valley. My little yodel-tee-ho—yodel-tee-ho—yodel-tee-ho—tee! I’ll sing you a song, while the moon’s growing low. My little yodel-tee-ho—yodel-tee-ho in the beautiful Yo Ho Valley.”

  A lump formed in Melinda’s throat, and she couldn’t go on singing. It hurt too much to be reminded that Gabe was no longer her special fellow. I probably shouldn’t have come here tonight, she thought regretfully as tears spilled onto her cheeks. If only Gabe and I could work things out. If only…

  Philippians 2:3 popped into her mind: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

  More tears came, and Melinda reached up to wipe them away. She knew she hadn’t put Gabe’s needs ahead of hers, but shouldn’t he care about her feelings, too? If Gabe really loved her, why couldn’t he see how much she wanted to help hurting animals, and why wouldn’t he reconsider leaving the Amish faith with her so she could do it? It would be a sacrifice on both their parts, but…

  “How come you’re out here by yourself?”

  Melinda whirled around at the sound of a deep voice. In the light of the full moon, she realized it was Gabe’s friend, Aaron.

  “I–I’m just getting some fresh air.”

  He grunted. “Jah, fresh and chilly. Fall’s right around the corner, and winter will be here before we know it.”

  “I assume winter’s not your favorite time of the year?”

  He shrugged. “I can take it or leave it. To tell you the truth, I prefer the warmer days of summer when I can go fishing.”

  Melinda rubbed her hands briskly over her arms. Aaron was right. It was kind of nippy.

  “I’m sorry about you and Gabe breaking up,” Aaron said. “Seems a shame you two can’t find some way to work out your differences.”

  Melinda swallowed hard, hoping to push down the lump in her throat that wouldn’t go away. So Aaron knew, too. Probably all the young people here tonight had heard the news. “Gabe doesn’t understand how I feel about things,” she murmured.

  “Seems to me that you don’t understand him, either.”

  Melinda cringed. Had Gabe told Aaron all the details of their breakup? He must have, or Aaron wouldn’t have said such a thing. Now everyone would soon know the truth, if they didn’t already. She wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with that. Especially since she still hadn’t told her parents any of the details.

  “Uh, Aaron, please don’t say anything to anyone about me wanting to leave the faith, okay?”

  “Huh?”

  “I haven’t told my folks I’m thinking about becoming a vet, so—”

  “Whoa!” Aaron held up his hand. “You’re thinking of what?”

  “I thought you knew. From what you said earlier, I figured Gabe must have told you everything.”

  Aaron let out a low whistle. “Now I know why he seemed so upset.”

  “You mean he didn’t tell you what I’m thinking of doing?”

  He shook his head. “Just said you’d broken up because he wants to hunt and you’re opposed to the idea.”

  Melinda grimaced, feeling like someone had punched her in the stomach. Aaron hadn’t known the truth until she’d opened her mouth and blabbed the whole thing. Now he might tell others, and then things could get really sticky.

  She glanced to the left and caught sight of two people walking toward one of the open buggies. Her heart plummeted when she realized it was Gabe and Mattie. When Gabe helped Mattie into the passenger’s seat then climbed up beside her, Melinda’s whole body trembled. It hurt to know he had gotten over her so quickly.

  She turned away, unable to watch the couple drive off together.

  “Sorry you had to see that,” Aaron said, touching her arm.

  “I’d better get used to it, because from the way things look, Gabe will probably marry someone else and I’ll be—” Her voice caught on a sob. “Oh, please, Aaron, don’t say anything about what I’ve shared with you tonight.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not for me to say, Melinda.”

  “Danki. I appreciate that.” She sighed. “I wish the singing was over and I could go home. Papa Noah won’t be here to pick me up until ten o’clock, but I’ve got a headache and don’t think I can make it through the rest of the evening.”

  “I’d be glad to give you a lift home right now,” Aaron offered. “It would save your daed a trip and keep you from having to stick around here.”

  Melinda sniffed. “I’d hate for you to miss all the fun on account of me.”

  “Nah. I wasn’t havin’ much fun anyway.”

  “Are you sure? I mean, isn’t there someone else you’d rather escort home?”

  Aaron shook his head then chuckled as if he were embarrassed. “If I ever find a woman I’m willing to court, she’ll have to be spunky like my mamm. I’d want someone who likes to fish and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty, either.”

  “Most Amish women I know work in their gardens. Doesn’t that count as dirty work?”

  “I reckon so, but that’s not what I meant.” Aaron led Melinda toward his buggy.

  “What did you mean?”

  He tipped his head to one side. “Any woman I’d even consider courting would have to be willing to do lots of outdoor stuff.”

  “Oh, you mean she should be a tomboy?”

  Aaron shrugged. “Guess that’s one way to put it, but that’s not likely to happen, because there are no women around here that I’d be interested in.” He released an undignified grunt. “Even if there was, I’ll never get married.”

  “Why not?”

  “Just won’t; that’s all.”

  Melinda didn’t argue the point, and she found herself wondering if Aaron might not have the right attitude about staying single. If she left home to become a veterinarian, she would probably stay single unless she met and married some English fellow. That thought did nothing to make her feel better. She’d been miserable since she and Gabe had broken up, but she saw no way they could get back together unless one of them made a huge concession. Gabe would probably be better off with Mattie. She was cute and wanted to remain Amish.

  “Well, Aaron Zook,” Melinda said as he helped her into his buggy, “I hope you have better luck at finding love than I’ve had.”

  Susie’s stomach felt as if it were filled with a bunch of swarming bees as she settled herself on the seat of Jonas’s buggy and he reached for the reins. The fact that he’d asked to give her a ride home tonight was like an answer to prayer. She just hoped she didn’t say anything stupid that might make him wish he hadn’t asked.

  “I saw you talking with Melinda earlier this evening. Are you and she still good friends?” Jonas asked as they turned out of the driveway and headed down Highway C.

  Susie nodded. “Although we don’t see eye to eye on much these days.”

  Jonas chuckled. “I guess that’s true with most friends and even family. My cousins John and Jared, who live in Montana, don’t always think alike, and they’re identical twins.”

  He flicked the reins to get the horse moving faster, and Susie gripped the edge of her seat. She had hoped they could take a leisurely ride home so she could spend more time with Jonas.

  “Is Melinda still drawing pictures of animals and taking in strays?”

  “Jah. She works part-time for our local vet, too.”

  “That sounds interesting. I admire anyone who has a way with animals.”

  Susie’s heart gave a lurch. Was Jonas interested in Melinda? Had he offered Susie a ride home only to ask about her niece? Was that why h
e kept asking questions about Melinda?

  “I’ll bet Melinda would like it where I live,” Jonas continued. “There’s more wildlife in Montana than you can imagine.”

  “Do you hunt?” Susie hoped her question might take Jonas’s mind off Melinda.

  “Jah. Got me a nice big buck deer last year and also a turkey.”

  “Some of the menfolk in our community also hunt deer. Melinda’s boyfriend, Gabe, likes to hunt.” Susie figured mentioning that Melinda had a boyfriend might discourage Jonas from taking an interest in her niece. She saw no reason to mention that Melinda and Gabe had recently broken up. No point in giving Jonas any hope of courting Melinda, if that’s what he had on his mind.

  “Say, I was wondering about something,” Jonas said, breaking into Susie’s disconcerting thoughts.

  “What’s that?”

  “I’ll be leaving for Montana by the end of next week, and I was wondering if it would be all right if I write to you sometimes.”

  Susie’s heart began to hammer as hope swelled in her breast. If Jonas wanted to write her, did that mean they were courting? No, of course it doesn’t mean that, she berated herself. Since I acted so interested in Montana, he probably just wants to write and tell me about some of the things going on there.

  “Well, is it all right if I write to you or not?”

  “I’d like that,” she said, hoping the excitement she felt didn’t show too much in her voice. She didn’t want to appear overeager.

  He smacked the reins to get the horse moving faster. “I’m kept pretty busy with my job and all, but I’ll write as often as I can.”

  Susie smiled. “I’ll write often, too.”

  “I appreciate you giving me a ride home,” Mattie said as Gabe directed his horse onto the highway.

  He nodded and forced a smile. Deep down, he felt miserable. When he’d seen Melinda talking to his so-called friend, he’d felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. It had been only a short time since Gabe and Melinda had broken up. He couldn’t believe she’d found someone to replace him so quickly. And Aaron Zook, of all people! Didn’t she even care that Gabe and Aaron had been friends since they were boys? How could she have proclaimed her love just a few short weeks ago and suddenly taken an interest in someone else?