by Bree Dahlia
“Fact.” His body was achingly close. “But does wanting something make it right?”
“All because of a little age difference?”
Little? “You don’t understand, Chase.” I didn’t even understand why I was sitting there, stewing in my own juices, ready to bubble over just because he was near. There was a connection I couldn’t fathom. He was my siren song. “Since you wanted to continue playing, I’ll make another wager. I’ll kiss you if you can name my favorite love song.”
I could have just said no without the games, but I was being a coward. Taking the easy way out. He wouldn’t guess it, and that would be that. It’d end before it even began.
He leaned over and lifted my hair, just like he did that day he’d asked me to dinner. A chill went through me the same way too, and I shivered. “Wild Horses.”
I jerked back. “Wait, what?” There was no freaking way.
“Is that another fact, Jillian?” He was smiling, but it wasn’t in that cute, charming way. It was in that sexy, ‘I want to eat you’ way.
“How…?”
“You were humming it on the Sky Glider. Since it is a love song, although a sad one, I took a chance. I guess it paid off in spades.”
“I don’t see it as sad. I see it as love eternal. I….”
His mouth moved to mine, but our lips didn’t touch. “Okay, Jillian. I’ll go with your interpretation.”
My body was thumping hard, fully in the present, as my mind raced back to that night. “But it was probably only seconds.” And I was humming quietly. And what the hell? That song was way before his time. It was barely mine.
“Lucky for me I pay attention.” The distance between us narrowed, shocking my mind back at breakneck speed.
“No, lucky for me,” I said, tilting forward enough to make that first brief contact. My body got its way. I didn’t care anymore; I wanted this, and I wasn’t going to fight it.
Chase tangled his fingers in my hair, drawing me in deeper. I parted my lips for him, and his tongue entwined with mine, sharing my breath and giving me every reason to take it further. Taking away every reason to stop.
I moaned into his mouth, and his kiss went lower, dancing down my neck. Soft lips hard on my skin, licking and nibbling, turning me into a throbbing mass of hypersensitive nerves. His scent drove me insane. He drove me insane.
A sharp bang on the door made me jerk. Chase pulled away and the absence of him covered me like a dark cloud. I wanted him back immediately. “Are you going to get that?” he asked, his lips swollen from devouring me.
I shook my head, thinking of all the other places his mouth still needed to go. He smiled and closed back in. I was so ready to be smothered by a slab of steel.
The front door flew open. “Surprise!”
I jumped clean out of my skin, landing in the middle of the living room. Once I collected my wits, I stormed over to Perry, ready to take away her key privileges forever.
“Fireworks were canceled, so I got to come even earlier. See,” she said, dropping down to a hushed tone, “I told you it was the perfect plan.”
Yes, perfect.
Fucking perfect.
I sat on the cat-shredded chair and watched the rain pelting from the corner of my sunroom/office. I rubbed my hands against the stained arms; it was trashed, but too comfortable to get rid of. Mr. Waffles was no longer with us, but he’d left his mark on the house, namely this chair that he’d used as his scratching post. Being Daniel’s bud, I couldn’t help but smile every time I sat in it.
A peal of thunder rattled the huge windows around me, reminding me that this was probably the least safe place to be during a storm, but it was also my favorite. I curled my legs underneath me, rested my head back, and enjoyed the show.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been alone on the Fourth. My choice, but still… it felt odd. Every year, the party started here. We’d grill out and hang outside, playing volleyball, shooting the Frisbee around, whatever. And then we’d walk down to Candle Park for the festivities before the fireworks blew off. When Daniel was younger, we’d start the day even earlier by going to the parade in the morning.
This was also the first year everything got rained out. The city would reschedule at a later date, probably next weekend if the weather cooperated. I took a sip of coffee and glanced over at my computer. I could squeeze in some work today too if the mood struck, but for now, I was content to watch my driveway flood.
Speaking of flooding….
I ground my palm against my temple, trying to blot out the previous night. Once my boiling point had lowered, dropping down to a simmer, I was somewhat rational again. Chase left shortly after Perry arrived, and Perry left shortly after that. She and I talked for a bit, but then I told her it was fine to get back to Stephen. I was fine. Never better. Her plan was indeed perfect.
That plan had stopped me from making the kind of mistake I’d regret in the morning. If she hadn’t arrived when she did, I could have been sitting on that stringy chair beating myself up instead of savoring my alone time.
God, Chase… I guzzled the rest of the cup, feeling the burn coat my throat. His touch was still on me as if it had branded its mark. I ran my fingers over my neck, mimicking the course of his lips. Trembling, I drew more tightly into a ball and let my brain go nuts.
If he were nothing more than a hard form with a harder cock, I’d be able to kick him out of my mind easier. Maybe. But only after duking it out with the rest of me from the head down. He was able to make me feel in a way I’d never experienced before, and that wasn’t easily forgotten.
I reveled in the memory. Yes, my body had been begging for some attention, and yes, it’d been teetering on the brink of desperation. But there’s desperate, and then there’s desperate. I wasn’t senile yet. I wouldn’t drink a can of cheap malt liquor and mistake it for a Spotted Cow.
So despite the physical and sexual perfection that was Chase, the real danger was in what lay beneath. I actually liked the guy. I enjoyed his company even though nothing good could come of it. I loved that he taught music; learning that was more of a turn-on to me than seeing him perform on stage. I wanted him to be young and stupid and an asshole and a complete fuck-up instead of just plain… young.
I liked him, and it was killing me.
“Nachos are done,” I yelled over the whirl of the blender, pulling the tray from the oven. Before I’d even set it on the stove, Stephen was there piling up his plate. “Take some out for Tony and Val too.”
Perry popped behind me, munching on a cookie and holding out a drink. “Here, try this one. It’s hardly sweet at all.”
I took a sip and gave a thumbs-up. Heavy on the tequila, light on the syrup. Perry had been whipping up margaritas, and all the ones she’d made so far nearly sent me into a coma. I was in the mood for something other than beer, so this was perfect. I cut a wedge of lime, squeezing and dropping it into my glass.
“About time,” she said, finishing off the cookie and grabbing a loaded tortilla chip. “Damn, woman. You’re hard to please.”
I smiled, going back to the counter to chop up tomatoes for the next round. I paused for a second. Hacking up veggies brought forth a memory, but I pushed it aside easily. Nearly a week and I was doing great. Chase was fading away quite nicely.
“Did you hear from Chase yet?”
I sighed. “No, Perry. I told you that the other day.”
“Just thought I’d ask again.” She hopped up on the counter and stuck her hand in the black olive can. “We haven’t had the chance to talk much since I crashed your party of two.”
“You texted or called me every day.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t have anything good to tell me.”
“And I still don’t.”
I shook tortilla chips onto the pan and doused them with cheese. I planned to make only one more batch since there were only the five of us here and I didn’t want to go overboard. Stephen already had corn and burgers on the grill.
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“At least it’s a sunny day, and they didn’t have to postpone the festival again,” I said.
“Stop changing the subject.”
Perry started swinging her legs back and forth, and I stilled them with my hand. She reminded me of Daniel when he was small and hopped up on sugared cereal.
“You guys coming out or what?” Stephen called from the back door.
“As soon as I’m done in here. I’m making one more batch.” I sprinkled tomatoes and olives over the top, leaving the green onions off this time since Perry claimed to gag on them.
“And we’re finishing up our girl time,” Perry shouted.
“Hey,” I said, pulling aside the hair from my forehead. “What do you think?”
She waved her hand. “Don’t listen to that bratty kid. He had snot running out of his nose. Your forehead is not that big.”
“What? No.” I wasn’t talking about that little boy on my mother’s block who called me fivehead during our walk last week. “I’m talking about this.” I poked my finger between my brows.
Perry peered closer. “Um, what am I looking at?”
“That monster line I had. It’s smaller, don’t you think?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
I slid the pan into the oven and then went to the fridge to pull out the watermelon I’d sliced up earlier. “Michelle told me about this little trick to smooth out brow lines. I’ve been sticking on tape every night before bed to prevent me from crunching up my brows while I sleep.”
“Who’s Michelle?”
“My neighbor behind me, remember?”
“I thought her name was Mabel.” I shook my head. “Well, she looks like a Mabel. And what’re you doing taking wrinkle advice from someone who could pass for your grandmother?”
“God, Perry. She doesn’t look that old.” I started loading up the dishwasher; I might as well clean up while we were waiting.
“I don’t even notice any lines on you.”
“Then it’s working.”
I grabbed a towel underneath the sink to wipe up all the water I’d somehow splashed on the floor. The tiles were cracking, and I made a mental note to look into getting them replaced.
“Don’t you realize how good you look? I don’t get why you’re even doing these things.” I looked up to see her sucking on a piece of watermelon. Give it ten more years and she would. “I bet Chase would agree.” I stood up and threw the towel in the sink. “Why don’t you just call him?”
I took a long chug of my margarita; it was going down nice and easy. “Perry, I told you already I’m glad I haven’t heard from him. I don’t want to hear from him. Why in the world would I call him?”
“You’re lying to yourself, you know.”
I tossed my head back. She could be exasperating at times. “No, I’m not. I think he’s a great guy, and I like being around him. I accept that. But I also know that he and I are a disaster waiting to happen. It’s already gone further than it should have. And if he does happen to ever contact me, I will tell him that too. But as it stands right now, things are in a good place. Hopefully, I’ve seen the last of Chase Nolan.”
“You are such a stubborn ass.”
I turned on the oven light, peeking inside. Good enough. It was too nice of a day to stay cooped up in the house any longer. With the windows open and the fans on, it was pretty bearable—even Perry wasn’t bitching about it—but there was nothing like being in the fresh air on a picture-perfect afternoon. And tomorrow, I was making time to work on that damned air conditioner. It was at the top of my list.
Perry sprung off the counter. “Jills, your mood that night spoke volumes. Here I thought I was doing you a favor by coming over early—I know how whacked out you get sometimes—but that look in your eye… I thought you were going to come after me with a steak knife. You definitely wanted to be a part of the coming disaster then.”
I grasped her shoulders and stared her down. “Can we drop this, please? I was caught up in the moment, but I truly am relieved that you showed up when you did. So thank you. I had a great week, got a shit ton of work done, made a new commission, and pushed Chase from my mind. And on the off-chance that he hasn’t decided I have too much baggage, I’ll make it all clear to him.”
I let go of her and pulled a stack of plates from the cupboard. I was hoping that my rambling confessions that night had sunken in once he’d left. Chase was probably freaking out about being the first dick to grace a divorcée in years.
Good. He should be freaked out.
I balanced plates, utensils, and watermelon in one hand and nachos in the other. “Coming?” I asked her.
“I’m just gonna mix up another pitcher first.”
I nodded then headed to the back door, elbowing it open. I set everything down on the table underneath the umbrella. The patio appeared even bigger without all the people milling about. I had a great space for entertaining, but it was a light crowd this year. Probably because the holiday celebration wasn’t actually on a holiday. It wasn’t even worth setting up the volleyball net.
“So, what were you and Perry talking about?”
I glanced over at my brother, who had sidled up next to me. “Oh, she was just telling me how she’s thinking about breaking it off with you. There’s this other guy who asked her out and…” The look on his face made me stop. I almost felt guilty, but he deserved it. “Geez, you know I’m kidding, but—”
“I know, I know,” he whispered. “I’m in the middle of planning out the whole night. I’m gonna do it up right, make it special. She’ll love it.”
I grasped his chin and shook hard. “She loves you. Stop making her wait.”
“Yes, Mom.”
I pulled up a chair alongside Tony and Val while Stephen tended to the grill. Luckily, they were always more my friends than Mike’s, so I got to keep them after the divorce.
We chatted for a while, and I was just about to check on Perry before she barreled through the door. “Who needs a refill?” She had a frothy pitcher in one hand and a tall glass in the other. She handed me the glass. “Made another one just for you since you’re the only one who doesn’t know what tastes good.”
“Thank you.” I took a sip, and my entire body shuddered. “Are you trying to kill me here?” She’d gone to the other extreme and made it lethal.
“Stop being such a baby. At least it’s not sweet.” She topped my glass off with a bit of the stuff from the pitcher. “There, that should help.”
“Yeah, a quarter inch will make all the difference.” I tried it again and had the same reaction. I swore it was straight tequila with maybe one whole ice cube thrown in. I raised my eyebrow. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”
“Quit whining and just drink it.”
Perry re-filled the others’ drinks, then went over to Stephen. They were a striking couple. They’d have some beautiful babies together someday. My brother shared the same fair coloring as me; Perry was the photo negative with her rich coffee-colored hair. His light to her dark.
I took one more baby sip before getting up to dilute it with something. Perry was right on my heels, following me inside. “Whatcha doing?”
“If I don’t water this down, I won’t even make it to the fireworks.”
“Hmph. And you said you can handle your liquor.” She took the glass from me and mixed in a little more water and some lime juice. “There. Good enough.”
“What was wrong with the first one you made me?” I squinted at her; she was acting strange all of a sudden.
“Just eat something and you’ll be fine. Now let’s go.”
Perry clamped on to my arm and steered me out of the kitchen. I stopped hard, almost dumping the drink down my shirt. “What is going on with you?” I asked.
She eyed me up and down. “Now that you mention it, are you going to wear that?”
“I didn’t mention anything. And I think you’re cut off for the night.” I made it out to the patio and paused. “Wait
, what exactly is wrong with what I’m wearing?” I glanced down at my shorts and T-shirt. She basically had on the same thing.
“It should be more patriotic.”
“You’re wearing pink.”
“Well, yes, but we’re talking about you. You should go put on that red dress that looks so awesome on you.”
“You want me to put on a strapless evening gown to go lie in the grass?” I shook my head, then went to make a plate. The food was done and spread over the table. I was starving, and the alcohol was starting to catch up with me.
Perry rolled her eyes. “It’s still a summer gown. Picky, picky.”
I sighed, chalking up her behavior to Perry just being Perry on sugary drinks and left it at that. I was feeling too good to worry about it. It was a perfect day in the sunshine with people I love. Comfort food and the kind of conversation that made you bust a gut. I’d finished most of my glass before I knew what hit me. I think what tipped me off was playing Frisbee; I kept throwing it to myself instead of the other person.
“Lemme just grab my purse,” I said when it was time to head to the park. Everyone made sure all the windows were closed, and the fans were off. The food was all back inside and put away. We were good to go. “I need my phone too.” I scanned the area where I’d last left it, but it wasn’t there.
“Why don’t you check your purse?” Perry said. I peered inside, and yes, it was there. I frowned. I knew for sure I’d left it on the spare table. She tugged on my arm. “Come on; we gotta go.”
Fortunately, I lived within walking distance, and all we needed to carry were a couple blankets. And bug spray. Lots of it. The mosquitoes would be out in hoards after all that rain we had.
The five of us set out for Candle Park. Tony and Val had to cut out early before the fireworks, so they’d walk back on their own after the festival. It was just a little something extra the city put together: bands, beer, bouncy houses.
Seeing the madhouse of cars made me thankful I lived so close; it was tough to find parking around here. We walked through the entrance and made a beeline for the hill to claim our spots. After spreading out the blankets, Perry hauled me away again.