by Bree Dahlia
“Let’s get some cotton candy.”
“Seriously?”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “You can get something boring like water.” Actually, that did sound pretty good. I had a shitload of alcohol floating around in me, and I was feeling mighty fine, but why tempt it? The tides could turn in the blink of an eye, and then my entire night would be in the toilet. Literally.
Perry led me toward one of the concession stands that had dozens of kids swarming around. I scanned the area and pointed to one of the others. “That one is much less crowded.”
“Nah, this one is better. What, are you in a hurry or something? We still have a good two hours before it’s dark yet.”
I scrunched my face. “Oh-kay.” So, she was a cotton candy connoisseur now?
The music started back up, and I tapped my thighs as we waited in line. I remembered this band; they were here last year too, but I couldn’t place the name. Just a local cover band, but decent enough.
We finally made it to the front and placed our order. Perry started darting her head around as if she had some nervous tic. “Sugar withdrawals?”
“Ha-ha, funny.”
The teenager working behind the counter was acting a little too helpful as he handed Perry the pink and blue cone. He fumbled with the napkins, shoving them into her hands and knocking over the straw dispenser in the process. I snickered; she could cause a commotion wherever she went without even trying.
I snatched the bottle of water before the kid could impress her by opening it. I didn’t want to be wearing it all over me. Unfortunately, I guess it’s true that you attract what you don’t want.
I twisted off the cap, turned around, and plowed straight into Chase.
“Wow, you’ve sure been swearing a lot lately. That’s usually my department.”
“Just explain to me what the fuck is going on, Perry.”
I yanked her down with me onto the blanket, and now that it was just the two of us, I needed her to start explaining. I might have pulled her all the way over by her ear; I couldn’t remember. My head was swimming.
Perry looked guilty as hell. “Well….”
“You can start by telling me why the fuck Chase thought I was meeting him here.”
After colliding with all the chiseled ripples, I thought I was going to die right there. Chase, on the other hand, acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world. As if us being in the same frickin’ park together at the same frickin’ time was planned. He introduced me to his two roommates before they went to get a beer, and I took that chance to excuse us for a moment.
She pinched her thumb and index finger together. “I may have a teensy, weensy confession to make.”
I dropped my head in my hands. I was spinning, and it had nothing to do with the tequila. The tequila. I jerked up. “You were trying to get me drunk!”
“I was not. I was trying to lower your inhibitions. There’s a difference.” I watched Stephen shoot around the football with our friends. At least he was occupied. I couldn’t believe this was happening. “Besides, even if you were drunk, it wouldn’t matter. I’ve known you a long time, and you wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do and blame it on alcohol. Now, what you might do is loosen up enough to do something you reeeally want to do.” She waggled her finger at me. “Remember that tonight.”
I placed my palms over my eyes and rubbed hard. My head was growing murkier by the second. I felt something drop into my lap. I moved my hands away and saw my phone sitting there.
“Take a look.”
“Perry, what did you do?”
“Just look at your texts.”
Fuck. The first thing I noticed was a missed call at 4:32. Chase. I tabbed over to my texts and saw one from him shortly after that:
Can I see you tonight?
Immediately after: Not a date.
And then….
“Goddammit, Perry. How in the hell is there a reply from me when I didn’t reply?”
“Um….”
I took a deep breath and read: We’re going to Candle Park around 7. Meet you?
I’ll be there, he answered.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Where did I even start? She pointed at the screen. “See, I even said ‘we’re going’ instead of ‘I’m going’ to make it a little ambiguous. I didn’t outright lie and say it was from you.”
“Why wouldn’t he think it was from me? It was sent from my fucking phone!” I fell back on the blanket and crossed my arms over my face.
I felt her beside me. “I’m sorry, Jills, but I thought this was one of those times where it was better to act first and explain later, so please let me explain.” She paused, and when I didn’t say anything, she continued. “Chase called while you were outside, and I was just going to ignore it. I swear. But then he texted, and it was right there for me to see… I was going to tell you, but then I knew how stubborn… er, adamant you were about never seeing him again. I didn’t want you to mess things up. I know you like him, and I want you to be happy, and I‘m sure that if you keep getting to know him better, you’ll start seeing past the age difference.”
I groaned. I wished I didn’t love her so much so I could hate her.
She twirled my hair around in her fingers. “Again, I’m so sorry, Jills. I was only doing it for you, but you’re really confusing. I don’t always know exactly what to do. You get pissed off when I bring you two together and pissed off when I break you two apart.”
I dropped my arms and turned toward her, my insides swirling. “I can tell you exactly what to do: Stop meddling. Please. I’m begging you here, Perry. Do. Not. Meddle. No more chance meetings. No more pretending to be me. No more anything having to do with Chase.”
She crossed her heart. “I won’t. I swear on our friendship. I’m done now. The rest is up to you.”
I believed her, but it was still fucked up. “The red dress? Seriously?” Well, at least everything made sense now.
She giggled. “Yeah, that was a little over-the-top, huh? It was probably good that you didn’t take my advice and change.”
“Right. Because I was really close to doing that.” I rolled my eyes, and she giggled again. After the adrenaline spike I just went through, I was coming down into a state of mellow. “Oh, Perry. What am I supposed to do now?” I said softly. I had to explain to Chase that it wasn’t me who wanted to see him tonight, and that made me feel like an idiot.
“I don’t think it was a coincidence he called today when you weren’t available to shoot him down. I think it was supposed to work this way.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You were meant to impersonate me? Come on, Perry. This isn’t some star-crossed lovers’ fate crap.”
She shrugged just as two tall bodies approached from either side. Chase on our right and Stephen on our left. Perfect.
We bolted up to a sitting position, and Chase smiled. “Hey,” he said.
“Hi.” I flicked over to Stephen. His jaw was set as he fired off glances to Chase. I couldn’t tell if he recognized him from the game or was just suspicious.
“Chase, this is my brother, Stephen. Stephen, this is Chase… uh, a friend of mine. And of course, you already know Perry.”
They shook hands, and Perry whispered in my ear, “I’ll take care of him.”
She jumped up and wrapped her arms around Stephen, hauling him away. Chase sat down beside me on the blanket, and I scooted over. Dulled senses were no protection; my body was already zinging to life. Hmm…. What shade were those irises today?
“You looked like you had a ‘deer in headlights’ moment when you saw me here.”
“Yeah, about that…” I told him about the mix-up but refrained from mentioning the ‘never seeing him again’ part. When he was next to me, my steadfastness wavered. Everything conflicted inside, seizing logic by the throat. What I wanted and what I should want was never more at odds.
In short, I was a mess.
“So, how would you have respond
ed to me?”
“I don’t know.” That was the honest truth. I could make determinations before the fact, but would I have ended up caving? I didn’t know. “Where’s your roommates, ah… Trevor and…?” I couldn’t remember their names. I’d been a little distracted when Chase had mentioned it.
“Trevor and Connor. They’re in the beer tent. Look, Jillian. I can go; it’s no problem. I’m not here to fuck up your plans.”
I glanced around. Where were Tony and Val? I hoped they hadn’t left without saying goodbye, but if so, I didn’t blame them. They probably didn’t want to get in the middle of my drama session.
“No, don’t go,” I said. “I mean, if you have to get back to your friends, that’s one thing, but don’t make me be the reason you leave.”
I meant it too. I wanted him there on that blanket with me. Maybe Perry’s devious lowered inhibitions plan was working, but whatever. It felt good right now, and to all the passersby, there wouldn’t be anything usual about us sitting there in the middle of a festival waiting for the fireworks to start.
“All right,” he said.
We sat in silence, and it wasn’t awkward. He sipped beer from his plastic cup, and I watched all the kids running around making designs in the air with their sparklers.
Chase leaned over just a tad, but enough to send a fresh blast through me. Dynamic green. That’s the color I’d chosen for him today. “They’re going to have karaoke soon.” I nodded. They had it every year; a big hit with the kids and the wasted. “Do a duet with me.”
“What?” I turned and stared at him. The gold was hiding in there somewhere. “You sing too?”
“Not one of my strengths but no one would be paying any attention to me anyway.”
“I’ll pass.” Talk about bringing attention to ourselves.
“Then a private show it is.”
My heart somersaulted, and I was about to ask him what he meant by that when Perry waltzed over. She stuck out her bottom lip. “Stephen just got summoned. He’s on the phone now. Another stupid fucking work problem. And on a holiday too. Fucking slave drivers.”
“Well, technically it’s not a holiday, but it still sucks. I’m sorry,” I said. “Hopefully, it’ll get wrapped up soon.”
“No, that’s the problem. He has to go back home and log on. I’m just coming over to let you know. I’m going with him.”
“You’re leaving too? Why?” But as soon as I said it, I knew very well why. She wanted me and Chase to have this time. “Where’s Tony and Val?”
“Oh, they left a while ago. They said good-bye.” Ugh. I felt bad for not spending much time with them. “No big deal,” she said.
I fumbled for my stuff. “I’ll walk back with you guys.”
“Absolutely not.” Perry put her hands on her hips. “Stay for the fireworks. It’s not your fault that your brother has so many issues. Chase, can you make sure Jills gets home okay?”
What? I didn’t need a damned keeper. This was my neighborhood, it was a mere ten-minute walk, and I only had a couple blankets and bug spray to carry. “That won’t be necessary. Chase isn’t here to babysit me.” That actually made me chuckle a bit. Irony, anyone?
“No problem at all,” he said. “I’d be happy to.”
I squeezed my fists, then released. I didn’t have time to argue, not when I had a full bladder screaming at me. That took precedence. I stood up and swooned a little, and Perry steadied me. I didn’t think it was too noticeable, but still… Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst idea to have a little help. I didn’t want to miss the show but leaving now made the most sense.
I hugged Perry and said into her ear, “I’m coming with you guys, but I really need to pee first.”
“You know those lines, Jills. Stephen can’t wait that long. There’s only so much he can do on the phone; he needs to be in front of his laptop.”
I squeezed my thighs together and sucked in my abdomen. “There’s no way I can wait either. I’ll never be able to walk home like this.” I started to hop a bit. This was ridiculous. “I gotta go now.”
“I can drive all of you back,” Chase said, and I brightened. That sounded like a great idea.
“Thanks, but by the time we get to your car and get home, it’ll be that much time anyway. And you’ll never get back into the parking lot at this hour. They start blocking off the streets.” She kissed my cheek. “No, just go to the damn bathroom, Jills. We’re leaving. Talk to you tomorrow.” I’d already started to hobble away. I wasn’t going to stay and hash this out anymore. I heard her say, “Take care of her, Chase.”
I ground my teeth. Like I wasn’t plenty old enough to take care of myself. Chase came up beside me and handed me my purse. “Here, I didn’t think you’d want to leave this behind.”
Ugh. “Thanks,” I said. Okay, taking care of myself obviously didn’t extend to my personal items.
“While you’re in line, I’m just going to check in with Con and Trav.”
I waved, fine. My only concern was emptying my bladder. My eyeballs were starting to drown.
Chase left when I took my place in the line; it wrapped around the side of the building and made up the stuff of nightmares. How could this park only have one public restroom? I knew I wasn’t the only one in pain here, but it sure felt like it.
I spotted the porta-potties down a way to my right. The amount of people waiting there were much more manageable, and for good reason. I tried avoiding them like the plague, but desperate times….
I darted out and half-ran, half-twisted over, ending up getting in pretty quickly. I stepped inside, wishing I had a stuffed-up nose, and slid the lock to ‘occupied.’ God, it was disgusting. A faint light shined in through the grate on top and illuminated just enough to turn my stomach, but not enough to make me puke and add to the rest of the bodily fluids coating the seat and floor.
At that moment, I knew I wasn’t completely sloshed, and God help anyone who was, coming into that urine and shit box. I shuddered to think of someone falling in there. I was able to squat and keep myself steady without touching the walls or anything else. I reached into my purse for a tissue to use as toilet paper, then got myself the hell out of there feeling five pounds lighter.
As I used the mobile hand-washing station, a familiar voice forced me to turn my head. “Mrs. Hudson?”
“Ben?” I blinked hard a few times. Nothing like seeing your son’s friend to give you a big ole shot of sober. I finished up, then gave him a huge hug. The kid had probably spent more time at our house over the years than his own, and I hadn’t seen him since graduation. “How are you?”
“Doing good.” He shrugged. “Home for the summer, you know.”
I scanned my brain. “You’re going to Whitewater, right?” Ben nodded. “How’re your classes going?”
“Pretty good. Still deciding on a major. Dan around? Haven’t talked to him in a while.”
“No, he’s staying in Milan, doing a summer internship. Hoping to have him home for Christmas.”
“Well, tell him I say hi next time you talk to him.”
“Will do, Ben. It was nice seeing you again.”
“You too. Take it easy, Mrs. Hudson.”
I gave him another hug, spotting Chase coming up behind. Ben walked off, and Chase watched him leave but didn’t say anything.
“That was… never mind,” I said, glancing around. What if more of Daniel’s friends were around? I was a little weirded out at the moment. What if they noticed Chase and me together? He was only a few years older than them. Oh, God, what if I’d caved in? I couldn’t even imagine someone catching us looking a little too friendly together and reporting it back to Daniel.
“Are you okay?” That was up for debate, but I nodded. “I thought you ended up leaving without me. You weren’t where I left you.”
“Sorry about that. These lines were shorter. But you know”—I did another scan around me—“I would like to leave.”
“Now?”
“Yes, and I r
eally don’t need an escort. I’m fine. You can stay. I’m a big girl; I’m perfectly capable of seeing myself home.”
“Like hell.”
“Like hell I’m a big girl, or like hell I’m capable?”
He sighed. I wasn’t trying to be difficult if that’s what he thought. I just didn’t want anyone to see us. Until I ran into Ben, the possibility of who could be lurking about hadn’t even occurred to me.
“I’m walking you home, and I don’t want you giving me shit about it, Jillian.” I saluted him, not in the mood to lock horns. As long as we left, I was good. The sky was growing darker by the minute. It had to be almost nine. “Let’s go grab your stuff and we’ll head out.”
“You don’t have to talk to your friends first?”
“I already did.”
We went back to the grassy area, navigating through chemical clouds and hopping over people. I relentlessly smacked at mosquitoes and wondered if I needed to spray myself down just to make it out alive.
I wrapped one of the blankets around me like a shawl and Chase carried the rest. He steered me out by my arm, and once we made it to the pavement, the little bloodsuckers left us alone.
The walk home left me somewhat in a zone, and by the time we entered my driveway, it was fully dark. I glanced down to see what had me feeling really, really good.
“Have we been doing that the whole time?” I asked, commenting on my hand encased in his.
He laughed. “Yeah, pretty much. I couldn’t have you stumbling and falling down on the sidewalk, could I?”
“Did we talk?”
I must have appeared a complete ditz asking those questions, but I really couldn’t remember much. It’d felt like the entire walk home was in a mind-numbing fog.
“Nothing I can repeat. I don’t want to get slapped.”
Holy shit. What did I say? He touched my mouth; I assumed to close it, but his touch had the opposite effect. It made me want to force it open wider. Better to swallow you up, my dear.
“I’m kidding, Jillian.” He stroked my cheek briefly before removing his fingers. “No, we didn’t talk much at all. You were lost in your own world.”