In His Time

by Stefanie Bridges-Mikota

  “Oh, look at me. I’m a mess.”

  Belle smoothed Allie’s brown hair that had frizzed out a bit.

  “You are beautiful, dear child. We all have hurts in our hearts. One can’t go through this life without picking up a few. Life would be pretty boring otherwise.” They both chuckled. “I’m here for you whenever you need me. Come on. Let’s get you home.”

  They helped each other up and Belle walked Allie back to Frank and their home. Her heart was lighter. Sharing helped release a bit of her fears. Hopefully soon, she would be able to share more with Belle. She could use a day with Blinne, but Belle could become a good stand in. There was just something about talking out ones problems with another female. The hearts connected and they would understand more than was said. For now, she would take comfort in knowing she had gained a true friend here that she could lean on.

  CHAPTER 12

  Frank had a busy morning. He was thrilled that his practice was doing so well. Most patients came for little things: digestion issues, sprains, and the occasional sore tooth. His routine was settling in nicely. Spare time was becoming nonexistent and he loved that most days.

  Each day he woke in the morning to his beautiful bride next to him. Together they rose and she prepared breakfast while he dressed and prepared for his day. They ate and then he was off, not seeing her again until lunch. Then he would go back to his office for a few more hours to finish out the day before joining her again for dinner. There were some empty times here and there that he could pop out and see her briefly. He loved those times when he could surprise her. Being busy was a blessing, as they needed a steady income, but he missed those first few weeks when he could spend the whole day with her.

  Frank didn’t know what she did all day to occupy her time. Obviously, she cooked. And she cooked well, based on his expanding stomach. He needed to cut back on the amount of food he ate. He also knew she was in the quilting club and was excited for her to have something to do that would get her out of the house and visiting with community members, even if it was just once a week. She did go visiting with a few new friends. He was aware there were probably many hours of nothing to do. He hoped that that would change soon. Allie was never one to sit around doing nothing. If she wasn’t helping her parents, she was out looking for or working a job to help provide.

  Today as he was driving out to a bed bound patient’s home, he wondered just what Allie was up to. After the fact, he thought she might like to come with him. He would need to remember to ask her if she wanted to join him in the future.

  This particular patient was an elderly man who broke some ribs and a hip from falling off his roof trying to repair it. Pneumonia had set in and it wasn’t looking promising. This was the part of the job he hated. Losing patients regardless of age was hard. Even harder was telling the family it was time to say goodbye.

  Some doctors were able to turn off their emotions and somehow not let it affect them. Frank was not one of those doctors. He loved, laughed, and cried right along with everyone he treated and their families. Having the title of doctor gave many people unrealistic ideas about your abilities. Every doctor was still human, still made mistakes, and had limitations on their knowledge and skills.

  There would always be those patients who couldn’t be treated. The medical field was exploding with new information all the time on how to treat various ailments. No matter how fast the medical community worked to learn more, the diseases always seemed to be one step ahead. Or in many cases, ten steps ahead.

  Typhoid was one of those that grated him. Despite having many women’s groups and other clubs begin working late last summer to start the cleanup of the city, which was obviously an ongoing project, and having a three-month field study done, nothing had changed. Then they placed a regional health officer in the area who continued the cleanup education and issued warnings to those who failed to comply.

  Even with all of those things in place, cases were increasing. Frustration was putting Frank’s feelings mildly. He felt as though they were racing an avalanche that would overtake them at any moment. Being overly dramatic was something he was not known for, but he hoped that was all it was.

  He slowed his horse and hopped down from the wagon, taking his bag with him. Elizabeth Dodd was at the door waiting, a worried expression on her face.

  “Good day ma’am. How is John doing?”

  She stepped aside and let him enter.

  “There hasn’t been improvement.”

  Another patient told him about this elderly couple. Frank showed up on his own, deciding someone should help. He’d been there twice before and he wasn’t charging anything for his time. Elizabeth would be put through enough fairly soon. She didn’t need a bill from him hanging over her head also.

  “I’ll go take a look. I’ll only be a minute.”

  Frank headed back to the same room he had visited both times before. John was laying propped in bed, asleep. Frank started by checking his broken bones which had made no improvement. On a prior visit, he’d bound the man’s chest, but with his advanced age, the bones just didn’t like to heal.

  Broken ribs were a perfect set up for pneumonia. Anything that would make an elderly person laid up in bed for a length of time could bring the disease on. Having bound ribs restricting the chest movement only increased the probability.

  Frank took out his stethoscope and listened to John’s lungs. He didn’t like what he heard, but there was nothing to do to change it. John’s left lung was completely full of fluid. His right partially. His breathing was labored and fever was high. It was only a matter of time. He had already told Elizabeth what to expect. She was aware that John would die. How long it would take was the question that remained.

  Frank left the room and found Elizabeth sitting at the table. He sat down next to her and placed his hand on her back. She didn’t need him to voice it as she already knew it was close. Frank closed his eyes and prayed out loud for God to show mercy and take John quickly so his suffering would be short.

  “Keep giving him the medication I gave you, but let’s double it.” Frank wouldn’t tell her that this would help him go quicker. “You send for me if you need anything?”

  Elizabeth nodded through her tears and cleared her throat.

  “Thank you, doctor.”

  “No thanks needed. I’m sorry. If there was anything I could do, I would.”

  She nodded as tears slipped down her face. Frank embraced her and held her tightly.

  “Are your kids on their way?”

  She let go and walked to the window. Her arms folded across her chest holding herself up. “Bobby is here. He ran an errand for me and will be back anytime.” Bobby lived close and Frank was relieved to know she wasn’t alone. “Melissa and Annie are on their way but Gloria, our baby, can’t come out. She is ready to deliver any day with her third and didn’t want that to happen on a train.”

  Frank stood next to her.

  “It will be good to have family with you. Decisions will need to be made soon. Please let them help you. If you have any questions or need help, come find me. I’m not far. Allie and I will do what we can.” Frank hated having to leave her, but he needed to get back to the office. “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. I wish I could do more.”

  “No, you have done enough. I will be fine. We’ve always known something would eventually take us. Everyone has to pass. John has lived a long good life. We’ve had many years together. I will cherish every one of them until it is my turn to join him. This is difficult, but I will get through this as everyone else has had to do before me.” Elizabeth affirmed, her voice faltering a bit.

  Frank squeezed her one more time and walked back to his wagon. He hated leaving her. She was putting on a brave face, but her heart was shattered. Life had too many disappointments. The hope was that one could have just as many or more blessings to balance it out. Unfortunately, for many that wasn’t the case. He hoped John and Elizabeth had balance.

  Driving home, he decid
ed to check the post. Maybe there would be good news from his parents or friends that could help cheer him up. The only letter at the post was from Doc which sent him racing for home to Allie.

  Frank rushed through the door with a look on his face that stopped Allie in her tracks. She had been sitting with Emma enjoying a cup of tea. Allie looked at Emma and Emma rose thanking her for the tea and excused herself.

  Allie knew something was wrong before he ever showed her the letter. Doc had answered Frank’s questions. Allie’s mother was dying. Cancer. Based on the lump that was thought to be a virus attacking her lymph nodes, the cancer had already spread.

  Belle’s words before about knowing when the time was right played back in her mind. It was time. She had to go now. She was just there a few short months ago. Everything seemed fine.

  How could someone go from healthy and living life to dying in a matter of months?

  Allie had no answers. She was riding the train home alone. Frank couldn’t leave his practice so early in its start. He desperately wanted to go. Dealing with this was something Allie shouldn’t have to do on her own, but given the circumstances, Frank felt his hands were tied.

  So, Allie sat in a metal box, bumping and jostling towards Montana so she could help her Ma finish with this world and her Pa pick up the pieces and somehow move on. She didn’t know if she had the strength it would take, but she had no choice.

  The ride was non-eventful. The view was close to the same as the trip out a few months ago. The only difference was the lush green of the countryside. Before, it was all white. Now life bloomed everywhere.

  Ironic that her Ma’s life was dimming, shriveling, as so much new was forming. The timing was odd. It felt off. She felt as though she had walked into a parallel world. Everything around her was the same, behaving as it should, but nothing was the same. The spring green seemed darker to her. The sounds were muffled. People were moving faster and slower at the same time all around her. Her life had turned upside down and inside out and she didn’t know how to move forward from here.

  Allie was trying to mentally prepare herself. Thoughts were circling in her head.

  Would Ma look different? Would she want her there? Was there anything she could do for her? Would Pa want her there? Was Pa dealing with it or avoiding the inevitable? And Drew, what did he know? Was he ok? What would happen after for him?

  So many questions with no answers. Allie couldn’t do anything. She wasn’t eating or sleeping. She just stared out the window as the thoughts and questions circled in her mind.

  The train arrived in Deer Lodge on time, although Allie wouldn’t have known if it was early or late. She wasn’t even clear on the day. The train was emptying and the sidewalk was filling up. Looking out the window she could see the only familiar face she wanted to at the moment. The rest of the crowd was faceless bodies moving in all directions.

  Her Pa was waiting for her this time. Frank sent a telegram ahead of her arrival. Allie rushed to Pa and he held her up as she lost control. Standing at the station in front of everyone, she felt as if it was just the two of them together. People were walking past, staring, curious, but she had no knowledge of them.

  Pa had moved her to the wagon and lifted her up. He left her briefly so he could get her things. Then they were off silently heading towards the future Allie didn’t want to see, but had no choice. Life was dishing this out whether she liked it or not. Now was the time to face this head on and find the strength within her that her ma possessed and passed on to her. It was time to be the rock for her Ma as her Ma had always been for her. The hat was being passed whether she was ready or not. She just hoped she could make her ma proud for the last time.

  CHAPTER 13

  Frank moved through his days in a haze. Allie was two states away dealing with things she shouldn’t have to without him. He should be there. He kept telling himself that, yet he couldn’t figure out how to make that work. He had patients he couldn’t just up and leave. Life couldn’t be simple. He knew she had support of friends and family all around her. They all would be in a cocoon, in a way. His parents were there as well. She could lean on them, but it wouldn’t be the same.

  Life was forever changing for Allie, and he was supposed to be the one she leaned on in times like this. He could take a vacation without repercussions had his practice not been so young. Word was still spreading, and patient traffic was steadily picking up. He didn’t want to up and leave for those needing him to find an empty office. Their future demanded that he stay here and strengthen his practice. Otherwise, all he and Allie had done so far might be for naught.

  Frank’s morning continued with a handful of patients coming by. A few were repeat for continuing problems and a couple were new, continuing to secure the thought of him needing to stay here instead of heading to Allie.

  A pregnancy he was following was progressing how it should, a sore tooth he was thinking would need pulled, but the patient was refusing at this point, and a sprain that kept a farmer off his foot and upset with Frank for not being able to do his work.

  Many people chose to direct their frustrations at the doctor. Frank was used to that and didn’t take any of it to heart. He knew when the foot had healed the relationship would improve.

  He skipped lunch forgetting to eat. Without Allie cooking at defined points in the day he lost track of the time. His stomach told him he needed to eat something, though, so he took some time and prepared a meal that he could eat later for dinner as well. While he was eating someone knocked on his door.

  “Hi Doc. My Ma sent me to let you know it happened,” Bobby said, his hat spinning in his hands.

  Frank had seen it many times, saying the word died was hard for most. It was more final to speak it.

  “Hi Bobby, why don’t you come in a minute. Have a seat.”

  They both took seats. Bobby was a decent sized man, but today, he was a smaller version of himself.

  “I know it hurts, but he isn’t in any pain anymore. There is some comfort in that, even if it’s small,” Frank spoke practiced words, staring at the wall and forcing himself back into this moment. “Does Elizabeth have a plan for now? She can’t run that orchard on her own.”

  Bobby coughed to clear his throat and shook his head slightly.

  “We are still working on the details. All us kids have our own lives and moved on from here. I think she will have to sell and move in with one of us. She can decide which one though. We all have different lives. Some of us have kids just about grown and then there is Gloria who is still welcoming new in. I don’t know if she will want to go to a quieter home or one still very active and busy. Maybe she will spend a little time with all of us until she decides.”

  Frank took a deep breath.

  “That might be the best option. I know things probably need to move fairly quickly now, but please try to take as much time as you can. She will need time to process all of this.”

  Bobby stood and put on his hat.

  “We will. Thanks again, Doc. I better get back out there. We are taking turns making sure she isn’t ever alone.”

  “That’s probably best for now. Take care and don’t hesitate if you need anything.”

  Frank watched Bobby walk away. He knew this would happen. He actually hoped it would come sooner than it did. John held out a while longer than most. He thought he would feel more than he did. He was numb. At least John wasn’t in pain. Frank saw to that. He hoped that Allie’s ma was also not suffering, but again he had no way of truly knowing since he wasn’t there.

  He went through the rest of the routine by memory. Somehow he managed to treat all his patients, eat dinner, and make it to bed without realizing he even did it. Yet, there he was, laying on his side of the bed with a cold empty place next to him. He wanted to go, he just didn’t know how to make that work without causing problems for his practice.

  Frank was more torn than he had ever been before. His body was here in Wiley City going through the motions, but his mind t
raveled with Allie to Deer Lodge. He wished he could know everything that was going on over there. After several hours of tossing and turning he finally fell asleep without resolving that problem.

  CHAPTER 14

  Ma was propped up in bed with a closed book in her lap. She had a weak smile on her face. Allie walked to the bed and knelt beside it, holding Ma’s hands in her own. They stared at each other for a minute or two before Ma took one hand and cupped Allie’s face.

  “Hello, my sweet girl.”

  “Hi, Momma.”

  The house was quiet. Pa was outside and had Drew with him. Allie saw Drew when she first arrived. He was withdrawn. He had gone inside himself and chose to hide there. His whole world was turning on end and no one knew how to help him.

  “So, you couldn’t deal without me here, huh?”

  Allie was trying to make a very difficult meeting as light as possible. Instead of chuckling they both just sighed and stared at each other.

  They stayed in silence for a long time. Each holding the other. No one wanted to speak of the truth that permeated the air. Work had gone undone all around them. Ma’s bright cheery yellow curtains had a layer of dust dulling their color. Her sheets smelled of undeniable sickness. Washing those would be first on her to do list. Now was not the time to weep. Work needed doing and she came to help. Using her hands to do things would help get her through this.

  She started in the bedroom, making it fit once again for her Ma. Just because she was dying didn’t mean she needed to lay in it Allie thought. Her next stop was the kitchen. Her pa had certainly been trying. He was just one person, though, and he couldn’t stay on top of his chores and Ma’s.

  Allie cleaned up the dishes, wiped down the table, and set to work making something for supper. Once that was simmering, she moved to the front room and tidied that up as well. Tomorrow she would tackle the laundry and make some bread. She felt as though she was doing something useful, something that helped everyone.