by Jade Winters
All too soon the ride was over and they were lowered back into reality. Sadness enveloped Cara as they climbed down from their perch and headed across the grounds. Leaving the lights and sounds of the fairground behind, they walked silently to the bar to meet Matt, the scent of well-oiled rides and oilier foods still hanging about them.
Matt was leaning against his car door as they arrived. ‘Well you two look like you had a better evening than me.’ Matt opened Cara’s door, taking her hand to help her into the low-slung Mercedes and then closing the door behind.
‘Where’s Claudia?’ Erin asked.
‘I dropped her home a few minutes ago.’
‘Was she any happier?’ Erin said as she settled in the back seat.
‘Claudia happy? What do you think?’
Cara barely registered their conversation about Claudia – it took her a few seconds before she realised Matt was addressing her minutes later.
‘So, Erin tells me you’re thinking of starting your own business.’
Cara gave a slight nod of her head and stammered a vague reply. ‘Yeah, I was thinking about it.’
‘What did you have in mind?’
‘A coffee slash book shop.’ She left out the gay part of the business. She would expand further once she told him the truth about her sexuality.
‘Sounds like a plan. I noticed Mrs Potter’s book shop has just come up for rent – it’s a good size. I’m sure there’d be no problem splitting it into two to make room for a coffee bar. Maybe Erin can take you round to see the place.’
Cara twisted around in her seat to face Erin. The lights from an oncoming car cast a bright glow over Erin’s face. She looked like the perfect English rose. Cara’s eyes dropped to her lips. A mad lustful rush overcame her, a sudden longing to kiss her. The spark that had ignited between them all those years ago was still there. It was a magnetic force that neither of them could deny.
‘I’d like that, if you wouldn’t mind,’ Cara said.
The little red car purred to a halt outside Dee’s cottage. ‘Good, that’s sorted then,’ Matt said.
Matt left the engine running and jumped out to open Cara’s door. She slid from her seat then leant back in to talk to Erin.
‘I had a great time,’ she said softly. ‘Thank you.’
‘Me too,’ Erin said, leaning forward slightly then, after some hesitation, she continued, ‘I’ll be in touch about going to see the shop.’
‘Fantastic.’ With a heavy heart Cara turned her attention to Matt, who was waiting patiently by the gate.
‘Thanks for the drink, Matt.’
He took a step towards her and she quickly side-stepped him, went through the gate and closed it behind her, creating the perfect barrier between them.
‘So when am I going to see you again? Maybe we can go out for a drink alone somewhere we won’t be disturbed.’
Cara was aware of Erin watching them and felt like an unfaithful lover. ‘Maybe.’ She silently cursed herself for not being straight with him. She should just tell him that she had no plans whatsoever to go with him alone – anywhere. Instead she said, ‘Drive home carefully.’ Cara took one more look at Erin in the car before heading up the path.
Dee was already in bed by the time Cara arrived so she quietly climbed the stairs, not really ready for conversation anyway. She knew that she had a lot of thinking to do but, for tonight, she was going to allow herself to linger in the pleasant glow of the evening she had just spent with Erin and not dwell on future implications just yet.
Chapter Twelve
The next morning, despite wanting to sleep for an extra few hours, Cara let her mother talk her into joining her at the local yoga class. She had meant to start classes in London when she’d joined the gym but had never got around to using either of them. They arrived at the yoga studio, mats in tow, just before class started. Cara’s pulse accelerated when she spotted Erin perched elegantly upon her mat. Then her heart sank when she saw that next to her was Claudia, taking dainty sips from a designer water bottle.
‘Mum! You didn’t tell me that Erin and what’s-her-face were in your yoga class,’ she hissed at Dee on the way in.
‘This is the first time I’ve seen her here. Claudia is a regular though.’
Cara noted Dee couldn’t even bear to say Erin’s name. ‘Look, that Claudia is already giving me daggers. She hates me.’
‘She’s much less highly-strung than she used to be, believe me.’
Cara narrowed her eyes, not convinced by her mother’s nonchalant tone. Even for yoga class, Claudia’s flawless presentation didn’t waver. Her artfully frosted hair was pulled into a perfectly arranged bun and her light makeup enhanced her delicate features. Seriously, who fucking wears make-up to yoga? Claudia’s expensive workout wear highlighted a body that would make anyone jealous. Cara sighed inwardly. The societal maven eyed Cara, the look on her face fleetingly like a cloud passing over the sun. Within a split second her expression changed and Claudia gave Cara a tight smile that seemed vaguely predatory.
‘Good morning, Dee,’ Claudia said, then turned her piercing gaze back to Cara. ‘You don’t look the yoga type.’
‘Looks can be deceiving,’ Cara faltered, a flushing heat spreading from her neck to her ears. Fortunately, the spirited instructor chose that moment to save the day by approaching the group and relieving the awkward situation.
‘Cara!’ The dark-haired man with a finely-tuned body extended his hand. ‘Dee said she would bring you by, it’s so good to see you.’
Cara laughed to hide her confusion. ‘Randal?’ He hadn’t changed a bit.
‘The one and only.’
She blinked rapidly in bafflement. ‘You’re…you’re my mum’s yoga teacher.’
‘I sure am.’
Dee giggled beside her like a school girl. Cara glanced at them both – then at Erin, who was staring at her with sympathy.
‘Anyway ladies, we’ll catch up later after class.’ He leant over and kissed Dee on the mouth. Cara’s stomach lurched. Oh my God, this is worse than I thought. She stared at them wondering who was more deranged – her or them. Them for flaunting their love affair to all and sundry or her for wishing Randal would disappear into a vacuum permanently. A tumble of confused thoughts and feelings assailed her. Something just didn’t feel right about the whole thing. If he wanted an older woman why didn’t he go looking in a care home and leave her mother alone? She didn’t believe for one second that he was taking their relationship seriously. This belief was reinforced when she noted all the women in the front row throwing admiring glances at Randal’s tight buttocks as he faced the wall to get his mat. Seemingly aware of his appreciative audience he turned around and gave them all an irresistibly devastating grin. Cara was surprised they all didn’t pass out. She turned to Dee, who was either oblivious to Randal’s adoring fans or had just resigned herself to the fact that women found him very attractive. Did her mother really want to be just another one of his groupies? Cara shook her head sadly. This is all going to end in tears, I know it.
Dee and Cara set up their mats near the back of the class, far, far away from Erin and Claudia. No surprise Claudia has to be front and centre.
Despite the circumstances, Cara found yoga to be wonderfully relaxing and, to her surprise, Randal was a great instructor. She found herself breathing deeply and forgetting her stress throughout the hour, despite the daggers that Claudia periodically shot her in the full-length mirror. At the end of class, in her resting pose, Cara’s troubled spirits had quietened. She was thankful, by the time she had opened her eyes and languidly risen to a sitting position, that Claudia had gone, taking her scathing glances with her.
The space beside her was empty and Cara glanced around, looking for her mother. She caught sight of her deep in conversation with Randal at the entrance of the room.
‘I’m happy to see you’re looking more relaxed then when you first came in.’
Cara twisted her head around in the direction of
Erin’s voice. ‘You noticed, huh?’
‘Brace yourself, they’re coming.’ Erin nodded towards Dee and Randal making a beeline towards them.
Cara quickly rose to her feet. She had to think fast. ‘Please say you’ll have lunch with me, Erin, please.’ Her eyes darted between Dee and Erin in alarm as her mother and Randal neared. The last thing she wanted to do was play happy families.
Erin followed her gaze. ‘Um, yes of course.’
The panic immediately dispersed. ‘Thanks Erin, you’re a life saver.’
‘Cara.’ Dee came to a stop in front of her. ‘Randal and I would like to take you out for lunch. Anywhere you like. Our treat.’
Cara eyed Randal standing at Dee’s side, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She couldn’t help thinking how much he looked like Dee’s son rather than her boyfriend. She feigned disappointment. ‘Oh Mum, if only you had mentioned it earlier. Erin and I have already made plans I’m afraid.’
Dee looked pointedly at Erin. ‘If you say so.’
‘Next time then,’ Randal said, totally oblivious to the tension in the air. ‘It will be great to catch up.’
Cara bent down and rolled up her mat. ‘Yeah, I can’t wait.’
‘Come on, lady. Let’s go and have some fun. It’s been too long since I last saw you. We have a lot of catching up to do.’ Randal’s hand slid down Dee’s back and she yelped when he slapped her bum, hard.
Cara was already on her way to the exit before she had time to witness any more vomit-inducing scenes. Despite the unexpected encounter with Randal, Cara left the studio feeling energised yet serene.
***
‘Thanks for agreeing to have lunch with me. I don’t think I could stomach watching those two all over each other like a rash,’ Cara said.
Erin giggled. ‘Aw you’ve got to admit it’s a bit sweet though, isn’t it?’ Erin split a cream doughnut in half and took a small bite.
They were sat at Sinfully Delicious, a rustic coffee bar on Windermere High Street. Cara stared into the bottom of her coffee cup and wondered if her mum had taken Randal back to her cottage. He hadn’t been over to visit since Cara’s arrival. Either he was gallant enough to realise how awkward things would be under Dee’s roof with her daughter in the house, or they preferred to stay at his place where they could be alone and free to do what they pleased. Cara didn’t care anyway; as long as she didn’t have to bump into Randal in the middle of the night coming from her mother’s bedroom, she wasn’t bothered where they did the deed.
Cara pulled a face. ‘No, sweet it definitely is not. What with this new diet, yoga, a toy boy...’ She shook her head. ‘I just hope she comes to her senses sooner rather than later.’
‘If you don’t mind me saying, this sounds very familiar.’
Cara pushed her coffee aside and picked up her sandwich. ‘How so?’ she asked, before biting into it.
‘If I recall correctly, your mother wasn’t too pleased when she found out about us. She, too, hoped you’d come to your senses. I’ve never understood why people think it’s okay to interfere in other people’s relationships. It’s crazy, if you think about it.’
Cara was undeterred. ‘Yes, I would agree under normal circumstances, but this is different…’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes, um...I...’ Cara threw her hands up in the air and conceded defeat with a smile. She decided Erin was probably right. ‘Okay, I’ll admit it then. I’m just like my mother. A judgemental, interfering, busy-body.’
Erin gave a half-hearted laugh. ‘I wouldn’t go that far.’
‘I know I shouldn’t get involved but it’s like watching an oncoming accident. You know the inevitable is going to happen but you can’t do anything but standby feeling helpless.’
‘And what do you think is going to happen?’
‘Randal’s going to dump her once someone else catches his eye. That’s what he was like at school. There was a reason we called him Randy. I just don’t want my mum to get hurt.’
‘And I’m sure that’s how she felt about you,’ Erin said gently. ‘But you know what, it’s a fact of life – we’re all going to be hurt some time or another. There doesn’t seem to be any way of escaping it.’
Cara ignored the slight – if it actually was one. She knew she was being hyper sensitive to anything she construed as a slight criticism. ‘Talking of being hurt, why does Claudia look like she wants to throttle me every time she sees me? What’s her problem?’
‘She sees you as a threat.’
‘Why? I don’t even know the woman.’
‘Matt. She thinks he’s still in love with you.’
Cara laughed her comment off with a wave of her hand. ‘In love! Oh please, it’s all in her imagination. That was years ago. We were basically kids. He’s a grown man now – a very good-looking one at that. He can have any woman he wants.’
Erin lowered her gaze. ‘But not you?’
‘Me? For the second time, definitely not. So you can tell Claudia to cool her jets. I’m not after her man.’
Erin grinned. ‘Why don’t you tell her yourself?’
Cara had no intention of going back to that yoga class if that’s what Erin had in mind. She looked at Erin enquiringly.
‘She’s having a birthday party tomorrow night,’ Erin said.
Cara snorted. ‘I think I’m the last person she’d want turning up on her birthday. Trust me, I know what it feels like to have your birthday turned upside down by an unwanted event.’
‘It’ll be fine. Claudia said I can bring a guest, so I’d like to take you.’
‘Oh, I thought you’d have a choice of people to take.’ Cara raised her eyebrows. ‘Do you?’
Erin laughed. ‘If that’s your way of asking if I’m seeing someone, the answer is no. My track record with dating is less than stellar,’ she confessed glumly. ‘I figured I should probably get my act together before thinking about settling down with anyone.’
‘Really? You seem to have your life more than on track. What gives?’
Cara saw a slight flicker of hesitation behind Erin’s eyes before it quickly vanished.
‘I was engaged five years ago.’ Erin inhaled and let her breath out slowly. ‘I had my dress picked out, invitations sent, and the whole big deal.’ She paused and picked up her coffee, sipping it slowly, remembering.
Cara merely stared, tongue-tied. Engaged!? She could feel the tension rising inside of her. The urge to remove the cup from Erin’s hands in order to speed up her tale was a strong one. As was the need to find out who had claimed Erin’s heart after she had left, and where he was now.
Erin rested the cup back on the saucer and kept her head bowed. Her tone was low, barely above a whisper that Cara had to strain to hear. ‘The big day finally arrived and I remember standing at the bottom of the aisle watching him. He looked so happy, so alive and sure of himself and our future. But I was dead inside.’ Erin looked up at Cara, sadness in her eyes. ‘I just didn’t feel anything. There was none of the jubilance I expected. The kind of excitement you see with brides-to-be. There was none of the anticipation of wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. I knew it was the wrong thing to do – so I did the only thing I could. I ran.’
A soft gasp escaped Cara’s lips as her hand flew to her mouth. ‘Like one of those runaway brides?’ Her jaw dropped open. ‘No way!’
Erin nodded ruefully. ‘It was awful. Bradley was heartbroken. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t put myself through the ordeal. People had flown in from all over the world to attend. The guilt over what I did to him nearly killed me, not to mention the embarrassment of having to face everyone.’ Her face clouded over with uneasiness. ‘I didn’t leave my flat for two months. That’s when I told Matt I was gay. He was really supportive and brought me everything I needed. I only ventured out when my ex left for Ireland.’ Erin’s green eyes bored into Cara’s. ‘So, you see, you’re not the only one who’s guilty of running away. Sometimes it takes being totally honest with
yourself to find out what you really want, I guess.’
Cara merely nodded her head. She couldn’t help but feel elated that Erin hadn’t got married. But at the same time felt awful for the ex being jilted at the altar.
‘So…yeah, that’s why I’m not exactly inclined to jump back into the dating game,’ Erin shrugged, popping the last bite of cake in her mouth. ‘There’s a happy end to the tale though. Bradley met the love of his life in Ireland and is happily married with two kids. Matt and I even went to the wedding.’
‘Aww that’s nice.’ A wide smile curved Cara’s lips. ‘I so love a happy ending.’
‘Well that just about wraps up my love life. So about tomorrow…’ Erin leant forward. Her eyes challenged Cara’s. ‘Are you brave enough to come?’
The thought of spending even more time with Erin certainly outweighed the negative feelings of being in Claudia’s company again. ‘Okay, I’ll come, but only if you stand behind my back all night. And I mean that literally,’ Cara teased.
Erin looked at Cara triumphantly. ‘You’ve got yourself a deal.’
Chapter Thirteen
The evening of Claudia’s party was upon her before she knew it. Cara had spent much of the day trying to quieten the butterflies that were fluttering madly in her stomach. She wished it could have just been the two of them going somewhere private – like an island in the middle of nowhere. But the likelihood of that happening was a rare one. Cara supposed she should be grateful for small mercies. The fact that Erin had so readily accepted her back into her life should have been more than enough.
Following the directions Cara gave him, the cab driver soon pulled up outside a newly-built complex overlooking Windermere marina. Cara exited the cab and walked along a cobbled pathway until she found Erin’s door number. She rang the bell then turned to admire the captivating view behind her. Boats of all sizes rocked back and forth gently on the glistening water. The serene setting was nearly enough to slow down the adrenaline rush she was experiencing. It still all seemed so surreal to her. She was back in Cumbria and was about to spend yet another evening with Erin.