by Jade Winters
Cara could barely believe it. They were grown women bickering about a problem that should not even have existed – in Cara’s mind anyway. She wasn’t tied down to anyone – especially Matt. She was a free agent who could date whoever the hell she wanted and she resented Erin trying to tell her otherwise. If Erin wanted to put her life on hold because of some unwritten oath she had with her brother so be it. But if Cara had it her way they would just go back to Cumbria and lay it all out on the table. She was fed up with being a push over. Hadn’t Maddie’s actions shown her what life was all about – do what you want in life and fuck everybody else. Where did being kind and thoughtful get you anyway? Nowhere. Look at how things had panned out for her. Cara hadn’t been in the wrong but she was the one who had ended up having to leave her home and life in London, just because her ‘partner’ wanted a shag.
Finally reaching the receptionist, Cara could all but scowl when she asked for the milk. She was at boiling point ready to erupt. When Cara got back to their room, Erin was dressed and sitting perched on the edge of the chair. The bed covers were still rumpled from the night before and Cara’s stomach flinched when a memory of their bodies entwined came to mind. Brushing it off she crossed the room to the kettle and flicked it on.
‘Do you mind if I have a coffee before we run back to Cumbria like two naughty kids.’ She could hear the bitterness in her voice but didn’t care.
‘Cara.’
Cara emptied the coffee sachet into the mug. ‘Oh just save it for someone who cares, Erin. It really is getting tedious going over the same shit again and again.’
‘I thought you understood.’
Cara spun around. ‘Do you know what? That’s my exact problem. You’ve hit the nail on the head. I understand too much which seems to make people think I’m a soft touch – weak!’ Cara shook her head slowly. ‘But I’m not, Erin. There’s only so far I’ll be pushed and I think I’ve finally reached my limit with you.’
‘So what would you want me to do?’
Frustration fuelled Cara’s anger. ‘How about grow a fucking backbone and stop tiptoeing around your brother like he’s some kind of God.’ She threw her hands up in the air. ‘Don’t you think he would have been in my knickers by now if I’d have let him? All the while he has Claudia hanging on to his coat tails like some sad groupie. Do you think he gives a fuck that he’s hurting her?’ Her tone sharpened. ‘You need to wake up and smell the coffee, Erin. In life shit happens and do you know what? You either roll with it or hide under a rock and miss out on all the good things that could have happened to you.’
Erin slightly bowed her head timidly. ‘I’m sorry I’m such an obvious disappointment to you, but I can’t help the way I am. I don’t like hurting people.’
Cara grabbed her hair in frustration. ‘Then what the fuck do you think you’re doing to me! – To us! Jesus, Erin, get your head out of the fucking sand. Your rejection is killing me. But you don’t care. All you’re worried about is your reputation!’
Erin regarded her with a look of confusion and hurt. ‘Is that what you really think?’
‘What else could it be? If we would have just told Matt from the beginning all of this bullshit would have blown over by now. It’s as if you want to keep it a secret so you never have to commit to anything.’
‘Oh, now you’re getting ridiculous.’
‘Am I? Keep living in your deluded bubble, just don’t expect me to have anything to do with it.’ With a flick of the hand Cara brushed the mug aside causing it to fall on the tray. ‘Let’s go home. I can’t bear to be in this room another minute.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
The two-hour journey back to Windermere was made in silence. Matters of the heart were skillfully avoided. When Erin caught glimpses of Cara’s face, the anger in her features was undeniable. Her heart ached knowing that she was the cause of it; but what else could she do? Matt was her brother, her flesh and blood – wasn’t blood thicker than water? She debated whether or not to tell her grandfather when she went around to serve his evening meal. Would he tell her she’d made the right decision? Or would he say she was being unrealistic? If anything, her grandfather was a pragmatic man. He wasn’t the type to get embroiled in emotional guilt.
Erin felt a sense of relief when she turned into Cara’s street. Pulling up outside Dee’s cottage, she steeled herself to remain strong – repeatedly telling herself she was doing the right thing for everyone.
Cara let out a long sigh and made no attempt to get out of the car. Her anger had obviously simmered but her tone was cold as she spoke.
‘I’ve given what you said about me leaving Cumbria a great deal of thought and I’ve decided against it. For far too long I’ve let other people dictate what I should and shouldn’t do in my life. But it stops now. I’m going to open the shop.’ She twisted around in her seat to face Erin. ‘If you want to carry on like there’s nothing between us, so be it. I’m not going to beg for your love. But this changes nothing for Matt. He’s going to get hurt either way if he doesn’t take the obvious hint that I want nothing to do with him.’
Erin gripped the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white. ‘Okay. As long as he doesn’t find out about us, you can do what you want.’
‘You’re making a big mistake babying him, Erin, a big one.’ Cara opened the door and immediately yanked it closed again. ‘Fucking great! This is all I need.’
Erin looked down at Cara as she slowly sank in her seat. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘There’s a woman across the road.’ Cara spoke in a rushed, hushed voice. ‘Where is she heading?’
Erin looked out of the window at a woman with golden hair streaked with highlights and pale skin. ‘Heading straight for us – why? Who is she?’
Before Cara could answer, there was a tap on the window. Slowly, she pushed herself up into a sitting position and wound down the window.
Cara let out an impatient breath. ‘What are you doing here, Maddie?’
Maddie’s eyes narrowed. ‘Were you trying to hide from me?’
Cara glared at her. ‘I asked you what you’re doing here?’
‘Isn’t it obvious? I’ve come to see you.’ Maddie bent down and leant on the edge of the window. ‘Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?’
‘No, I’m not.’
Maddie thrust her hand through the window, bypassing Cara’s face by inches. ‘Hi, I’m Maddie, and you are?’
Erin took her hand in a firm grip. ‘Erin.’
‘“The” Erin, huh?’ she asked, looking at Cara with raised eyebrows.
‘Think about things carefully, Erin, before you make a mistake,’ Cara said before opening the door, forcing Maddie to quickly step away from the car.
Erin’s pulse quickened as she watched them make their way up the path towards the cottage. It was obvious that the woman calling herself Maddie was Cara’s partner from London. Erin couldn’t deny the fact that she was a very attractive woman. Was she here to talk Cara into going back to London with her? An irrational stab of jealousy tore at Erin. Why did she care? Hadn’t she told Cara in no uncertain terms there wasn’t a future for them?
Maybe Cara’s ex showing up was a sign – that their relationship just wasn’t meant to be. Erin had no doubt in her mind that Cara would be on her way back to London with her partner shortly and she would be a distant memory. Opening the window to gulp in puffs of air to help clear her mind, Erin maneuvered the car into the road and slowly drove away.
Erin absent-mindedly picked up the mail from the floor when she got home and flicked through as she made her way into the living room. A neatly folded piece of paper caught her attention. When she opened it her jaw dropped open. Words scrawled in black large shouty letters stared back at her.
THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT!
What the hell does that mean? Erin reread the cryptic note again and again. The truth will come out about what? Was she being paranoid – could the message be about Cara and herself
? Surely not. Who would be interested in them enough to send such a threatening letter? Erin scrunched the note into a ball and threw it in the bin. Someone had obviously posted it through her door by mistake. Erin pushed thoughts of the note to the back of her mind. There were more important things to think about. Matt was coming by soon to pick her up and she was clueless as to what he wanted to tell her. This in itself was more worrying than a random threat that made no sense at all.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Maddie’s reappearance in Cara’s life could not have happened at a worse time. She dreaded to think what Erin thought about her turning up at her mother’s cottage – that was if Erin found it possible to think about anything other than her precious brother. Cara pushed the front door open and headed straight for the kitchen, with Maddie close by.
‘Where’s the ice queen?’ Maddie asked, dropping her oversized leather bag on the worktop.
Cara gave her a stern look. ‘Don’t disrespect my mum.’
‘Mum, now, is it? What’s got you two so chummy all of a sudden?’
‘I’m sure you haven’t come all this way to enquire about my relationship with my mother. Just tell me what you want and leave, I’ve got things to do.’
Maddie took a step forward and tried to embrace her. ‘I thought it would be pretty obvious what I want. You, babe.’
Cara snorted and pushed her arms aside. ‘Babe? Don’t make me laugh, Maddie.’
‘Do I look like I’m joking with you?’
‘Well you bloody should be after what you did. Seriously, what do you take me for? Some kind of mug? I can’t believe you’ve got the gall to show your face. Have you no shame?’
‘Hang on a minute.’ Maddie’s eyes shimmered with jealousy. ‘This isn’t about me is it? You’re pushing me out because you’ve hooked up with that country bumpkin in the car.’
Cara had to count to ten in her head before she exploded. ‘Jesus Christ! What planet do you live on? Do you want me to refresh your memory for you? You fucked my flatmate! Is it all coming back to you now?’
Maddie rolled her eyes. ‘Oh for God sake, Cara. It was a mistake. A fling. It didn’t mean anything. You must know that.’
‘All “I know” is that you saying it meant nothing makes it ten times worse. You basically threw four years down the drain for what? What did you get from Jenny that I wasn’t giving you?’
‘Babe, if I’m honest I felt flattered by the attention. Things were iffy between us. I wasn’t thinking straight. Jenny came onto me and…well I couldn’t help myself. I was feeling vulnerable.’
‘Always the victim aren’t you? Everything is always someone else’s fault. Well that shit doesn’t fly with me any more, Maddie.’
‘Look, I didn’t come here to argue. I said I’m sorry and I’ll do anything I can to make it up to you. Please come back to London with me. We’ll make a fresh start. We’ll move in together, just like you wanted.’
‘Had you said this to me a few weeks ago I would have been the happiest woman on the planet.’ Annoyed by Maddie’s bold assumption that she would give in that easily, Cara tried to keep the anger out of her voice. ‘It’s surprising how quickly feelings can change. I wouldn’t move in with you if I was homeless on the street.’
Maddie gasped in indignation. ‘That’s really harsh, Cara, considering you–’
‘Considering I what!?’
‘Considering you were cheating with your boyfriend’s sister! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. You are such a bloody hypocrite.’
Anger lowered Cara’s eyes to mere slits. ‘Maddie. Let’s get this straight. I didn’t sleep with Erin whilst I was with her brother. When we slept together I was single and so was she– ’
‘–Oh so he knows about you two then? It being so innocent and all.’
Cara drew in a shaky breath. ‘You know there’s more to it than that – why are you being such a bitch?’
‘You started it with the frosty reception. I came here to make amends and take you home.’
‘Well that’s not going to happen, Maddie. I’m going to sign a lease on a property I found.’
Maddie’s jaw tightened. ‘A what!? You’re buying a house here?’
‘Not a house – I’m going to open a coffee shop.’
‘But I thought that’s what you wanted to do in London?’
‘Yeah well I changed my mind. So you can see there’s nothing to stop you from turning straight back around and going home. I’m not coming back with you, not now, not ever.’
A calculated gleam entered Maddie’s eyes. ‘This is all to do with Erin, isn’t it? You’ve never got over her. Don’t think I didn’t realise. It was as clear as day you were still pining after her. And you wonder why I went with someone else.’
Cara tipped her head backwards and sighed heavily. ‘So now it’s my fault you cheated? You really are something else, Maddie.’
‘Anybody home?’ Dee’s voice called out through the letterbox. ‘I left my keys at work. Cara? Hello?’
‘Coming, Mum.’ Cara called back. ‘You need to go now,’ she hissed at Maddie, as she grabbed Maddie’s bag off the counter and pushed it against her chest.
‘This isn’t the end of our conversation, Cara. I thought you were going to be difficult. I’m taking time off work. I rented a studio flat for a month on the high street. I’m going to prove to you that we are meant to be together if it’s the last thing I do.’
‘Don’t hold your breath,’ Cara said, ushering Maddie down the hallway and opening the front door.
‘Oops, sorry, I didn’t realise you had a guest,’ Dee said, eyeing Maddie.
Cara forced a smile. ‘She was just leaving. Weren’t you?’
Maddie ignored Cara and remained standing on the doorstep, making no effort to leave. ‘Hello, it’s Dee isn’t it? I’m Maddie, Cara’s, erm, friend from London.’
Dee looked from Cara to Maddie. ‘Oh, Cara didn’t say you were dropping by.’
‘Because Cara didn’t know she was,’ Cara said, gesturing for Dee to step inside. Once Dee was indoors, Cara said to Maddie with a false smile, ‘Have a safe journey home, give my love to Jenny won’t you,’ and slammed the door in her face.
‘Was that who I think it was?’ Dee asked, as she hung up her jacket in the hallway.
‘Yes.’
Dee took her mobile phone out of her bag and dropped the bag on the floor. ‘What did she want?’
‘To put the past behind us and carry on as normal.’
‘The cheek of some people.’
‘I know…anyway I’m done with the past. I’m looking towards the future now,’ she said, mounting the stairs.
‘I noticed your bed wasn’t slept in. Where did you stay last night?’ Dee called after her.
Cara leant over the banister. ‘In Edinburgh. I went to see a woman about renting her shop.’
‘A shop?’
Cara could hear the confusion in Dee’s voice. ‘Yep, if I’m coming home for good I’m going to need a job, aren’t I?’
Chapter Twenty-Four
Erin knew Matt was in trouble before he opened his mouth. The tightness around his lips said it all. Still, even she wasn’t prepared for the words that slipped out as the engine hummed idly as they waited for the traffic lights to change.
She repeated the word Matt had said to her in disbelief. ‘Pregnant.’ It was as if by saying it out loud, the significance of what it meant would finally sink in – make it more real, if that were at all possible. Oh my God, Claudia’s pregnant and Matt’s going to be a dad.
They were minutes away from their granddad’s house and she still couldn’t think of anything to say to him before they parted company. Erin pressed the palms of her clammy hands against her jeans. She didn’t dare to think what this pregnancy meant for her and Cara. Now that Matt could no longer pursue Cara, would it be so bad if they suddenly got together? It wasn’t as if they had to reveal their past history. They could pretend they had just realised thei
r feelings for each other. Erin felt excited at the thought until she remembered that Cara’s ex was in town. Things weren’t going to be so straight forward after all. She could have kicked herself for panicking and calling it off. If only she’d waited a little longer to see how things panned out. Well it serves you right, you should have listened to her before getting your knickers in a twist.
Matt stared straight ahead as he put the car in gear and slowly moved on. ‘I’m not even convinced it’s mine.’
Erin slapped the dashboard with her hand, causing Matt to turn and look at her in shock. ‘Oh no you don’t. Don’t for one minute think you’re going to pull that stunt.’ She wasn’t trying to guilt trip him into standing by Claudia, but it sickened her when men denied their responsibility. If Matt thought for a second that she was going to side with him and brand Claudia as a woman who couldn’t keep her knickers up, he had another thing coming. Claudia may be a lot of things but she was not ‘easy’. Erin knew Claudia loved Matt and she would not cheat on him despite Matt claiming their relationship was only ‘friends with benefits’.
‘Okay, so say it is mine. I’m not ready to be a dad yet. I don’t even know if I want kids. I’ve got so much I want to do.’
Erin blinked in bewilderment. ‘Like what?’
‘Like leave this town for starters. I’ve been here all my life. I want to go and explore the world. To make something of myself.’
‘I’m not being funny, Matt, but you should have thought about all that before you started taking risks. You’re not that naïve about birth control.’
‘Look, there’s no point in talking about that now. It’s irrelevant how or why it happened. I need to know what to do.’
‘What do you mean? There’s only one thing to do – take responsibility for your actions and prepare to be a father.’
‘Actually, I was thinking…you know since you two are women…you could have a word with her…’