Finding Hope in Texas

by Ryan T. Petty

  “That depends.”

  “On what?”

  “Are you going to be my nurse again?”

  I could feel my face flush in the cold as he leaned in and gave me a hug.

  “I’ll see you after the battle.” And with that, my fighting boy turned to rejoin the ranks, giving me a quick wink as he did. I could’ve melted.

  “Miss Kilpatrick.” The last name call could only have been from Mr. Peet.

  “Yes?” I turned to him.

  “Help Elizabeth pack a few things so we can get out of here at a decent hour, okay?” His words were stern, something that I never really had heard from him before.

  “Oh, okay ...”

  But he walked passed me quickly before I could totally respond. Hum? Wonder what’s eating him?

  Lizzy and I managed to get most of the gear packed away while a battle went on just down the street. About half way through, and after Lizzy allowed me to redress into modern clothing, I ran back to the sutlers’ tents. I wanted to get Jason something, but didn’t know what. Finally, I saw it and had the man behind the counter get me a pocket watch out of the glass case. It cost forty dollars; not too bad, I guessed.

  I returned to camp just in time to see the regiment marching back in looking a little worn from the excursion. Men began unloading the rifles and military wear as quickly as possible, rushing into their tents to change back into Clark Kent. Their day was not over as they still had to pack up the trucks and trailers and make the drive home. Mr. Peet was gone before we knew it and drove back into camp with the trailer before most of the others had redressed. His packing was quick too, basically just tossing everything in without order or care while Lizzy scolded him for doing so. We helped him collapse the tents, which he only managed to wad up into a big canvas pile before tossing it in the trailer and shutting the door.

  “You girls ready to go? Got a long drive ahead of us.”

  “Dad, get a grip. Let’s help out the others.”

  Mr. Peet rolled his eyes, but followed in helping take down Daniel and Robin’s wall tent and then Mike and Hunter’s. Jason also helped, having packed up his meager belongings quickly.

  I pulled him aside. “I hope you don’t mind, but I got you this.” I held out the pocket watch to him.

  “Hope, you didn’t have to do that.”

  “I know. I just wanted to say...to say thank you.”

  His eyes darted from the pocket watch to me. Oh, how I wanted to say so much more, to express to him how much that simple talk had meant for me, only hoping it meant something for him, too. His eyes seemed to read my face and he quickly pulled me close to hold me.

  “Thank you for this. Thank you for everything,” he whispered, as I was lost in his arms again.

  “A-hem!” We both looked over at Mr. Peet. “I’m seeing too much PDA around here. Why don’t y’all make yourselves some breathing room?” Again, the sarcasm was gone, but the stern voice was so ever apparent.

  “Stop it, Robert,” scolded Robin. “You were young once.”

  “Don’t remind me.”

  With a little more work, everyone began to finish packing up. The goodbyes that had followed the parade soon started once again within the group. I said goodbye to people that I had hardly seen that weekend. I didn’t know their names, but figured I would learn them over time if I continued this historical hobby. Hunter gave Lizzy one of his big bear hugs before he and Mike took off. Jason approached me once again.

  “Did you have a good weekend?” he asked.

  “Most definitely so. How was yours?”

  “One of the best in a long time.” He took me into his embrace again. “I’ll have to stop by the antique store sometime.”

  “I’m not there much.”

  “Well, maybe we can find a place where both of us will be.”

  “How about Canton?” We both looked at Lizzy. “It’s next weekend and Hunter said he wanted to go down there and see all the crap. Maybe we could all go and get away from these old people for a while.” She pointed off to her dad who glared back at her.

  “That’s not a bad idea,” Jason said, “if you’re up to looking through some more junk.”

  “It seems we do a lot of that together,” I replied and smiled.

  “So the four of us next Saturday?” Lizzy chirped.

  “Sounds good, kid,” Jason answered while looking at me. “I’ll see you then.”

  “Not if I see you first.”

  He smiled and gave me a kiss on top of my head, something that my dad would’ve done, but I could understand him holding back. This was a reenactment, not some teenage make-out party.

  Jason gave me a strong squeeze, thanked me again for the pocket watch and was off to his old truck, waving again as he passed by. It wasn’t long after that we were on the road, too, driving back up I-45 towards DFW. Besides Lizzy making her usual conversation, Mr. Peet and I were mostly silent on the way home. Even when they dropped me off, Mr. Peet didn’t get out of the truck, leaving me ringing my own doorbell to get in.

  “Oh, hey,” Mags said as if she wasn’t expecting me. “I must have lost track of time. Did you have a good weekend?”

  “I did,” I gazed around the living room, seeing the place in disarray with papers scattered around the room and in piles. “What happened?”

  “Nothing, nothing. I just haven’t cleaned up over the weekend. So you said you had a good time.”

  “Yeah, I did. Really Mags, what happened here? I know you don’t make messes. It is one thing I do like about you.”

  “It’s nothing really. Mr. Lambert called and said that someone has put an offer in on the store.”

  “Oh?”

  “Well, not just the store. The whole complex.” She sat down and dropped her head. “He says they’re going to buy it and remodel the whole thing, you know, make it more up to date and accommodating.”

  “Well, that’s good, right? It means that the store will probably get more business.”

  Mags shook her head. “Hope, they’re going to flatten the whole thing. Every little shop there will be destroyed in a few weeks. They’re going to put name brand businesses in the new stores and leave the rest of us out on our butts.”

  I sat down next to her. “Well, did you try talking to the new owners and let them know about your plans for the antique store?”

  “And why would they listen to me? I’m no one, just some middle-aged woman who sells antique buttons.”

  It might have been the first time I had ever seen Mags down on herself. Even when she used to call dad and tell him she was moving, she was always confident in her next prospect in life, never looking back at all the disappointments. So why was this one so hard to take?

  “You really like that place, don’t you?”

  She smiled and nodded. “I know it’s stupid. It’s a junk store and it’s full of junk. But when I’m there it all just comes to life for me and I know everything in the store is there for a purpose, like its life hasn’t run out yet. For some reason or another, it’s all waiting to be purchased by someone who will come in there and their eyes will get all wide. They always say, ‘I had one of these as a kid’ or ‘I haven’t seen this since God knows when.’ So the item isn’t junk, not to that special person. It’s meaningful for them; it still has a life to fulfill.” She looked over at me. “Am I talking to a brick wall?”

  I shook my head. “So the store is gone, what about the jun...what about the antiques?”

  “That’s why I have all these forms out. Mr. Lambert was going to give me ten days from yesterday to come up with the money to buy the stuff off the shelves.”

  “How much do you need?” It was a stupid question and I knew deep down inside she was goading me into something, but I had to ask.

  “Twenty-five thousand.” My eyes closed and I shook my head. There was no possible way.

  Chapter Ten

  I didn’t sleep well that night. Mags dropped the bombshell that she was about to be out of a job
and needed me to bail her out and I was just supposed to accept it? I knew this would happen if I moved down here with her. Mom called her “Aunt Mooch” when Tyler and I were not supposed to be listening. There was no telling how much money Dad had sent her throughout the years or where her small fortune of inheritance went when my grandma Vickie passed away, if she even left her much, knowing that it would be in jeopardy. How could you give someone money who didn’t know how to use it?

  It may have been from being tired or thinking about the entire weekend, but school seemed more boring than usual that Monday. Teachers were getting back into the groove of their monotone ways, probably counting the days until spring break next month. I’m sure the cold spell wasn’t helping them as they probably all wanted to push their thermostats a little higher but were in constant fear that the ten-dollar expense would have them called in front of the board for wasting taxpayer’s dollars. Ahh, Texas. Fine school buildings, but no willingness to spend a few extra dollars to give anyone a decent education inside of them.

  Mr. Peet’s class was entertaining as he railed against the big Imperial United States taking over the little islands of the Pacific, comparing it to the young adult novel The Hunger Games, which was probably too extreme, but it gave the students something to think about. At the end of class he asked me to stay behind.

  “Miss Kilpatrick, did you have a good weekend down in Madisonville?”

  “It was pretty good, yes. And thanks again for taking me. I really appreciate it.”

  “No problem, but I’m not sure we will be doing it again.”

  “Oh?” Well, that was rude. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “Well, I didn’t expect you to be ogling Jason for that much of the weekend.”

  “Ogling?”

  “You know. Just a few weeks ago you were strangers and now you are having late night romps with him around the campfire.” My mouth dropped. “Sorry, I woke up to do my camp walkthroughs at just the wrong time for you and me.”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “From my tent, it looked definitely like that, Miss Kilpatrick. Now I’m not your father, but if I was, I wouldn’t want you two seeing each other again.”

  “My father’s dead, Mr. Peet, so I guess I don’t have to listen to him.” His eyes widened. “And Jason actually listened to me, one of the first people down here to open their ears and eyes and paid attention.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “He listened to me,” I repeated. “Maybe you should do that from time to time.”

  “Listen? To you?”

  “To anyone. Open your eyes, Mr. Peet.”

  “And what, pray tell, have I secluded myself from, Miss Kilpatrick? Please, enlighten me with your intelligence.”

  “Did you hear how the men mocked you for believing the war was about slavery? I mean, haven’t they ever read a history book? Why in the heck would anyone think differently? But you hardly stood up for what you thought, which I was waiting on. You could have said something more, defended yourself through some historical jargon, something.”

  “I’ve fought that battle on more occasions than you know, Miss Kilpatrick. I fight it every day when I step into this room and sometimes it’s one I can’t win. Some people choose not to be educated. Ignorance is bliss for them.”

  I stood up. “And speaking of not being educated, have you not noticed your daughter is becoming a woman right before your eyes? She has feelings for Hunter, even though you said she’s not really into boys yet, but you didn’t see them dance.”

  He glared at me. “I’ve seen them dance on many occasions together, but they’re kids, kids that don’t know about love.”

  “She may be a kid, but not for long, and you’re missing out on her life because you can’t get over your love. You haven’t looked into yourself for a long time, not in a very long time.” God, was I really going to go there with him. “You keep everything walled up in that derisive attitude of yours, but you are hurting just like the rest of us. You saw ten seconds of me sitting with Jason and just figured I was out there to hook up with boys, some liberal New York slut that Jody and her gang were right about all along. But Jason was comforting me from everything I have dealt with over the last two months of my life, which is too much for anyone to bear. Maybe you should look for that comfort, too, and find that heart that I’m sure you used to have before your wife died.” I was right in front of the podium, right in front of him.

  “Get out,” he said with finality. I gave him a hard glare before retrieving my bag and storming out of the room.

  Lunch came and went, right out of my hands when one of Jody’s gaggle smashed my tray to the floor. I had thought we were past this, until Jody stepped forward.

  “Hey, sorry that my dad is buying up your aunt’s little junk store, but I pointed out the location to him and he just thought it would be great to tear down all of that crap and build something nice instead.”

  “That was you?”

  “Of course,” she gleamed. “We do our best to clean up our city from trash.” She did a quick whip of the hair and moved on to her table, leaving me standing in front of the mess.

  Screw it! Screw all of this mess. Why did I ever think I could make something work out down here? I left the food on the floor and ran back to my janitor’s closet. Sunday had probably been one of the best days since the accident, but, oh, what a difference a day made. Mags was losing her business, Mr. Peet thought I was a tramp, and Jody had resumed her duties as school despot, but this time on an enormous community scale. God, I didn’t want to cry, not now. I picked up my phone.

  “Hello, Hope?”

  “Hey, Jason.”

  “This is unexpected. Aren’t you in school?”

  “I’m at lunch. I’m not disturbing you, am I?

  “No, I’m eating, too, actually. What’s going on?”

  “I...” God, don’t tell him. “I was just hoping you had a good weekend.”

  “It was one of the best I’ve had in a long time, sweetie.” Sweetie? He called me sweetie. “Is there something else on your mind? Is everything alright?”

  No.

  “Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice.” I knew he was thinking it through on the other end of the line.

  “Okay, Hope, but if you need anything just let me know.”

  “I will. Thanks. Oh, Jason?”

  “Yeah?”

  “What’s your middle name?”

  “It’s Thomas. In high school people called me J.T. Why do you ask?”

  “Oh, no reason. I was just wondering.” Thomas. Tom was short for Thomas.

  “Okay, well, I’ll see you on Saturday.”

  “Okay, see you then.” I closed the phone and took a few deep breaths. After a few moments I felt more relaxed. Thank you, Jason Thomas. Tom. Tom Sawyer. I let myself smile and picked up my phone again, this time to do some business.

  “Richard, please. Thanks.”

  “How is the little cowgirl?”

  “Richard, I need a car.”

  “A car?”

  “Yeah, it has four wheels, goes forward and backward and sometimes turns—a car. You have to drive everywhere in this place. It’s probably why everyone is so fat.”

  He laughed. “Well, you are sixteen and your parents would’ve bought one for you eventually.” He was thinking it over when it came to me.

  “Why not Mom’s?”

  He paused on the other end of the line. “Hope, are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I drove it some. It’s very reliable.”

  I heard him sigh. “Well, if you really want it, I could have it shipped down there by Thursday or Friday I’m guessing. But you’re sure that’s the one you want?” I knew what he was referring to. Yes, it was Mom’s car and basically I had done my best to get away from all of my memories with them. But it was just a car. I could handle it.

  “Yes, it’ll be fine. Then you don’t have to do all the paperwork on buying a new one.”

/>   “Alright, that’s fine, Hope. Is there anything else?” I paused, but I just had to know.

  “Richard, be honest with me. How much did they have?”

  “Well...a lot, Hope. Your parents were smart with money.”

  “Can you give me a ballpark figure?”

  “You’ll find out in just over a year when you turn eighteen.”

  “Richard.” Another sigh and another moment lapsed.

  “It’s around five million, give or take. Your house alone is around three-quarters of a million. Then there are the stocks, bonds, mutual funds, savings accounts, you and Tyler’s college funds. Even in this bad economy, it all adds up.”

  “How much did Mags get when Grandma Vickie passed away?”

  “Your dad handled all that, but it was over a million, not to mention whatever he’s given to her over the years.” I closed my eyes. She had run through all that money in just under ten years, wasted on men, moving, whatever. She didn’t save a dime and I felt so much hate bubble up for her when I heard over a million. Darn her! She didn’t deserve anything from me, from my family. Mom was right about her, she was a mooch that could never be counted on except when she needed something.

  “Thanks, Richard. Thanks for the car,” I hung up, even more upset. How could she have done this to herself over the years? I survived the rest of the day until I got into the Ford POS to see her.

  “Hey, Hope, honey, how was your day?”

  I stared straight ahead because if I even glared at her when I said this, I was really going to lose it. “How could you waste everything?”

  “What?”

  “Your inheritance, what dad gave you; tell me there’s something left of it. Richard told me everything. He said you got over a million dollars from Grams.” Finally, I looked at her. “Tell me it’s in some account or deposit box or in a duffel bag under your bed. Tell me!”

  Her face reddened. “I blew it, okay? Is that what you want to hear from me? That I was never as perfect as your father? That everything worked out so well for him and I couldn’t do crap with my life? Huh? I’m a lousy person, Hope. I know that. I’ve known that since I fell in your dad’s shadow when we were kids. I was never going to amount to anything and I wasted over a million dollars in just a few years because I didn’t ever want it.”