Finding Hope in Texas

by Ryan T. Petty

  “You okay?” whispered Jason from over my shoulder.

  “I’m getting there,” I said with a sigh.

  “Me, too.”

  The day wore on long enough to where we saw most of the items on sale. I picked up a few small ticket items for Mags’ store, but nothing we had to lug around on our excursion. We were heading back towards the civic center and had been walking up the gravel aisle when we saw them.

  “Oh, my God,” both Lizzy and I expressed at the same time.

  “Holy crap!” Hunter put the exclamation point on the subject.

  The four of us stood there stunned as we saw Mr. Peet and Mags sitting on a park bench in front of the center. The sitting was the normal part: them locked in a passionate kiss was what surprised the heck out of us.

  Chapter Twelve

  “PDA! PDA!” announced Hunter as he stepped forward laughing. PDA stood for “public display of affection” and it was what teachers harped on students about when catching them make out at lunch or in the hallways. But now the teacher was caught, with my aunt! Their eyes widened as we approached them.

  “Now Captain, do we need to have that talk with you? You know, the birds and the bees.”

  “Shut it, Hunter.” The joke was over and the adult was coming out. Mr. Peet stood. “Lizzy, didn’t I ask you not to come–”

  “I didn’t come down here with Hope, they came by themselves. And what the heck are you doing, making out with her aunt?” You get him, Lizzy!

  “Don’t take that tone with me, young lady. And this isn’t about what I’m doing here. You distinctly went against my instructions.”

  “Well, your instructions were lame, and we’ve had a blast down here today.”

  “Looks like both of you have, too,” I chimed in. “Mags, what is going on?”

  “Well, Robert couldn’t get a hold of Lizzy and called me up, wondering if you had gone with them. When he said he was coming down here to find y’all I just came along.”

  “And fell into his lips? Why would you do that?” Why was I angry at this? Mags had followed men around for years, something I figured she would do again once she got bored with me. But why did it have to be my teacher? Why Mr. Peet? Why couldn’t she just go after one of the pieces of trash that had no association with me? God, it was always about her and she didn’t give a crap about my feelings. I gave her and Mr. Peet an evil glare before storming off into the civic center.

  Still angry about what I’d just witnessed, I sat off in the corner by a small snack stand selling cold drinks and candy. I realized they were adults and had every right to do whatever they wanted to, but couldn’t either of them think about how it would make Lizzy or I feel? It wasn’t like either of them had showed any interest in each other before. Heck, they hardly knew each other. Their only mutual interest was me. Didn’t I have enough to deal with already besides seeing them together?

  It wasn’t long before someone had chased me down, but it wasn’t Jason, Lizzy, or even Mags. Mr. Peet made his way over to my table and sat down next to me.

  “How are you doing, kid?”

  “I’m not your kid...yet.”

  “Touché,” he said and gave a sigh. “Look, Hope. One, I didn’t know that was going to happen out there, it just did. Two, you, of course, weren't supposed to see it.”

  “Then why did it happen? Why do you have to put your grubby hands on Mags?”

  “I didn’t know my hands were grubby,” he tried to joke, but I gave him another stern look. He shook his head and leaned forward on the table, not looking at me. “You were right,” he relented.

  “Right? Right about what?”

  “Everything. Everything you said to me the other day. It was harsh, but it was something I’ve needed to hear for a long time.” He gave another sigh. “Elizabeth...Lizzy is just growing up so fast and without her mom I’ve done my best to keep her like the little girl that I knew. I know, she’s not, but...” He wasn’t thinking anymore, he was remembering.

  “Do you have a picture of your wife?”

  He looked at me finally. “No, no. I stopped carrying it around years ago.”

  “I’ll bet she was beautiful.”

  He smiled. “Very much so, inside and out. I just felt so lucky that she could fall for a poor fool like me. When I had her, I could hardly fall asleep at night because I just loved watching her. I couldn’t get enough of her, you know?” Actually, I kind of did. “Then when the cancer got bad, I don’t think I slept a wink. She was a trooper, though. Never showed how weak she was in front of Lizzy. Even that last time in the hospital where we both kind of knew, she told Lizzy she was going on a trip and that Lizzy had to be good for daddy.” He gave a huff as my eyes began filling with tears.

  “How did you do it? How did you start to live again?”

  “I’m not sure I did,” he grumbled. “Laura was my life. After she died, I fell apart.” He looked around to make sure no one was listening to our conversation. “Don’t ever tell Elizabeth this, but the night after the funeral, my sister let her stay over at her place. I went home and... God, I cried so much, then drank, then cried some more.” He took a deep gulp in his throat. “I’ve always kept a small caliber pistol in the house for protection, never used it, but that night I stared at it all night long. Just me, the pistol, and a bottle of booze. I didn’t do anything, of course. Elizabeth didn’t need to grow up that way, but I’m not sure I really started living again after that either.”

  I didn’t know what to say. My teacher had just told me he’d contemplated suicide years before, and I could only think of how many times I wished I had been in that car with my family. Was it the same thing? When you thought of people that do it, your first thought is that they’re taking the easy way out instead of dealing with their problems. But how far can you push someone before they have to take action? My expression must have read deeply on my face, for Mr. Peet apologized.

  “I shouldn’t have told you that, Hope. I lost a loved one and only found comfort in seeing the cynical side of the world. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost three.”

  “What am I supposed to do?” I basically whimpered.

  “Well, don’t be me, for starters. There are too many beautiful things in the world that you’ll miss if you do. My only other advice is to live.”

  “But what if I don’t know how?” I could feel the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, too overwhelmed with the conversation. “They were everything to me and I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.”

  “You don’t need to say goodbye, kid. Goodbyes always seem like the finale to me.”

  “What did you say to your wife?”

  “’I’ll see you later.’” A tear fell from his cheek. “And I will. It gives me hope to know that I’ll see her in some next world, whatever that may be.” He leaned over and put an arm around my shoulder, very un-Peet-like of him, but I couldn’t help but lean in against him. I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, but I broke the melancholy with my question.

  “So, this kiss?” I heard him sigh.

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you like my aunt?”

  “I think she’s a very nice, very beautiful lady who is trying to do what’s best for you, and for that I do find her admirable.”

  “But, do you like her?” I pulled away and looked at him. “Because I’m not sure we should be hanging out with a teacher that’s just going to make out with all the parents and guardians in the world.”

  He smirked at me using his own words against him, but I could see the wheels in his mind working overtime to find something like a comeback.

  “Well, do you like the boy from the wrong side of the tracks out there?” I smiled and nodded, making him roll his eyes. “Ahh, young love. It is a beautiful thing. Well, I guess I can live with y’all making out late night around the fire if you will allow me to see where this goes with your aunt.”

  “She has a past, you know.”

  “Miss Kilpatrick
,” he went teacher on me, “didn’t your liberal northern education teach you not to judge people by their past?”

  “Yeah, but the southern conservative ed-u-ma-ka-tion taught me to be critical of everything that is different than me.” He gave a hearty laugh, nodding his head as if it was true.

  “Well, your aunt told me a lot about you and herself on the way over here. She said she’s made a lot of mistakes in her life, but all I can really see in her, and you, is that I find you both very strong women that I have a lot of appreciation for. But if our seeing where this may lead bothers you, then I will certainly not pursue it.”

  Jeez, when he puts it that way, how can I say no?

  “Okay, but if you hurt her, I’ll come looking for you, Peet!” I shoved a finger in his face, which he laughed at.

  “Sounds fair enough to me, kid. Now, come on, let’s go join the rest of the gang and get some ice cream or something.” As we stood up, I gave him a hug, which I’m sure caught him off guard. He returned the hug nonchalantly, but whispered something that I would never forget.

  “Your parents were very lucky to have you in their lives.”

  I smiled up at him as he led me towards the door and our awaiting group. When we walked back into the cool air, Lizzy ran forward and also gave her dad a hug.

  “I don’t think I’ve been hugged this much in a very long time,” said Mr. Peet with a smile.

  “Or kissed for that matter,” Lizzy remarked to everyone’s amusement. Then she set her sights on me. “You know if this works out, we will be stepsisters.” That was so not true, but I could only grin and nod. I looked over at Jason who moved next to me.

  “Hey, sweetie,” he said with a smile.

  “Hey,” I returned, burying myself in his strong arms. Mags also approached and rubbed my arm.

  “Hope, I’m sorry, it just–”

  “It’s okay, Mags. It just startled me. Mr. Peet is a good guy. You could do much worse.” She nodded, knowing that she had done much worse. Maybe Mr. Peet would be the change she needed in her life. I mean, they were only getting to know each other, but if something did build into a meaningful relationship, then it couldn’t be all that bad, right?

  “Hunter,” Mr. Peet called out sarcastically, “seems like we’re having a hug fest around here. You need me to give you one?”

  “With all due respect, Captain, please just stay the heck away from me.”

  Mr. Peet approached anyway, but not for a hug. “Your school prom is coming up soon, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, sir, in a little over a month.”

  “Well, Lizzy needs time to get a dress. Have you asked her to go with you?”

  “Umm, no.”

  “Well, do you want her to?”

  “Well, yeah, but–”

  “But what? Here is your chance.” Hunter looked at him and then at Lizzy and then back at Mr. Peet, who gave him an approving nod. With his heart in his throat and a crowd around him to observe, he took Lizzy by the hand.

  “Would you like to go to my school’s prom with me next month?”

  “I would love to.” She grinned and gave him a hug.

  “And Miss Kilpatrick, who will you be taking to prom this year?” asked Mr. Peet.

  “I hadn’t planned on going.”

  Jason looked down at me. “Well, that’s a shame, because I was looking forward to dancing the night away with you.”

  “But, your leg...”

  He raised his hand and put it against my cheek. “No pain will ever keep me from you.”

  It was amazing how that day turned out. Even with all their individual problems, three couples were bound together in the sweetest way. Mr. Peet took us all to a local Dairy Queen, a popular little restaurant in this neck of the woods, for some ice cream, which was good even on a cold day. We drove home, and I got to see another kiss between Mags and Mr. Peet as he dropped her off at the house. I’d received mine about ten minutes earlier. Jason came over the next day for lunch as well, and we sat around on a lazy Sunday watching movies on the sofa with Mags. This is how it would’ve been at home with Mom, Dad and Tyler. I was glad to have it back in my life.

  After such a weekend, school was not something I was looking forward to. I just knew I was going to turn into one of those teenagers that would be looking at her phone all day for the next text message from her boyfriend. Oh well, who gives a flip.

  Finishing second period, I traced through the hallway, dodging the crowd and retrieved books from my locker before heading to my next class. I rounded another corner and nearly ran into Jody, her arms wrapped around her notebook that she had practically buried her head into. I passed her quickly hoping that no “accident” would befall me. But still within earshot, I heard a quiet whimper come from the blond cheerleader that made me stop in my tracks. Was she actually crying, or was this some trick that she was playing on me? She knew my schedule, which was scary in itself, so she was probably concocting something against me. But for the first time in my days at Jimmy Carter, I was seeing this powerful authoritarian cry. Ugh! Why me? I turned around.

  “Jody? Are you alright?”

  “What’s it to you, twerp?”

  “Nothing, actually, but you just look like you need...help.”

  “Just get away from me. That will be help enough.” I shrugged and took a step or two. Why should I help the fanatical pompom, anyway?

  “No.” I turned back around. “Look, you may hate me for God knows what, but if you need something, and it looks like you do, then I’ll do what I can.”

  She snorted a few times and glared at me. “Don’t you get it? You’ve won! Everything I’ve done to get rid of you, everything I’ve done to make your life a living heck so that you would leave has all been for nothing.”

  “What do you mean, I’ve won?”

  “Brad,” she sniffled, “he dumped me!” The tears began again and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. “I told him about your aunt’s store getting bought out and he said that I had gone too far. He said I was so obsessed with getting rid of you, that I had forgotten about us.” The irony of it all, of all her work in disposing of me, had caused the one thing she feared the most. She cried into her notebook some more and then her head popped up. “I’m sorry,” she squeaked. “I’m sorry about everything. I overreacted. I just love him so much.” The bawling began again. Maybe this was what Mr. Peet meant about young love being a beautiful thing. It drove us to do crazy things like trying to destroy the new girl or going to a Civil War reenactment in the cold February weather. I probably should’ve just consoled her, but I still wasn’t sure if this was a trick or not. She could be even this deceptive.

  “Do you love Brad this much or do you just hate me even more?”

  She worked through her tears again. “I don’t hate you. You are just...everything.” I turned my head in confusion. “You are smart, pretty, and from New York. You even wear that auburn hair of yours in such a beautiful way that I just knew you were going to be the popular girl in school. How am I supposed to compete with you?”

  “Jody, I’m not in competition with you, don’t you get it? And me, beautiful? Huh. You’re a bombshell and I look like an Irish leprechaun with this hair, like I should be hoarding my Lucky Charms somewhere.” She smiled a little at the joke. “I just wished you would’ve talked to me about this whenever you saw me on that first day.”

  “God, I’ve been such an idiot. I’ve tormented you for nothing.”

  I shrugged. “Well, the locker full of manure had a lot of symbolism, but did you really have to go after my aunt’s store?”

  “Oh, crap. Dad’s company is supposed to start demolition in another week or so.”

  “Yeah, I know. I just hope we can get everything moved over before that.”

  “Moved over?”

  “Yeah,” I said and sighed thinking of the work. “We found a new place and bought the merchandise from the previous owner, but we still have to move it over and that’s going to take a lot of
trucks and manpower.”

  “You’re going to continue the business with your aunt? But how did you come up with the money?”

  “Let’s just say that my drug dealing parents were very good at their dope runs.” I could see her face turn red from embarrassment.

  “I’m so sorry, Hope.”

  “It’s okay, I’m sure the executives of the corporations they sued over the years said a lot worse about them.”

  “Your parents were lawyers?”

  I nodded. “Some of the best in New York, I hear. Had my mom have been here, she would have destroyed you on day one for picking on her daughter,” I said with a grin that got another giggle from her.

  “Well, your aunt did a pretty good job. She scolded my mom and the principal for a half hour for how we were treating you. I spent the week in ISS for it.”

  “We were both very mean to each other. I hope you can forgive me.”

  “Only if you can forgive me.” We both smiled which gave way to a hug. It was bad how one misunderstanding could result in some of the worst aspects of teenage humanity. We were both good people and yet we couldn’t see it in each other, wasting time and energy trying to take the other down. Teenagers. When will we ever learn?

  “So, what are we going to do about this Brad thing?”

  “Nothing, he hates me.”

  “Now, I know that’s not true. When I did my stint in ISS, he told me that you were one of the kindest persons he knew. That’s what he saw back then and that’s what we’re going to make him see again.”

  “But how? He won’t even answer my text messages.”

  “Well, we’ll have to get you together then.”

  “He won’t see me, either.”