Things ran through my mind so fast, I barely realized William walked into the room. Standing there, internally freaking out. I heard Paul telling William I was pregnant. But I remained in my trance until William lifted and swung me in the air. When he put me back on my feet, he laid his hands on the sides of my face and kissed me. This was the first time, William himself, ever initiated kissing me. I was totally shocked but then I kissed him back. Not even on our wedding had he kissed me and now his mouth was devouring me like he couldn’t get enough. He finished the kiss with a soft peck on my lips, staring at me. Something in him changed in that very moment. He released his hold on my face and started talking to Paul. He sounded so excited. He immediately swung his arm around Paul’s shoulder and together, they walked out the door, leaving it wide open. I remember looking at it. Open, inviting me to walk out. Was it a trick? Did he forget? In the end, I forgot about the door and all I could do was sit down on my bed, running my fingers over my lips. They were still swollen from his kiss.
Hours later I, was still on my bed when Jeffery walked in and started removing my clothes from the closet. I asked what he was doing, and he said Mr. Stern asked him to move my things to the master bedroom. He also told me that William expected me downstairs for supper.
We ate supper in silence like we had done so many times, but this felt different. When we were finished, William stood and walked to me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. I followed him up the stairs to the master bedroom. He still hadn’t said anything to me when I heard the door closing behind us. That night, William made love to me. At least for him, it was the closest we would ever come to it. He was attentive, slow and caring. He took his time and made sure I took pleasure in it. There were also moments of connection we’d never had before.
I was so confused. The thing is, William had given me pleasure from time to time. He was a good lover when he wanted to be. But, it always came with strings attached. But he had never been soft like he was that night. He had never made me to feel special. Sex was strictly for his pleasure, his dominance. He made me feel his ownership.
The night he learned of my pregnancy, things changed. Now I was frightened.
He didn’t leave and didn’t demand I leave the master suite. We fell asleep, together. The next morning, I woke with William dressing for work. He looked in the mirror, fixing his tie.
Closing my eyes, I see the vision of him in the mirror and hear my voice as I ask,
“William, what does this mean?”
“You’re carrying my child. You carry this baby to full term, you will belong to us for life. From now on, you will have more freedom, more privileges. Remember who you are. You are Mrs. Stern, my wife and my children’s mother. You remember that and act as such then everything will be yours. Take your role serious because now, our son will count on you to do so.”
“I don’t know what that entails William.”
He turns from the mirror, looks at me so I’ll know he’s serious. “You will. Our child isn’t even born yet and people will want what he will have. It’s up to us to make sure they don’t get it.”
With that, he walked out the door, leaving me wondering what he was talking about. It didn’t take long before I found out though.
My pregnancy was wonderful. William followed up on his promise to give me more freedom. I was allowed to leave the mansion and shop. I always had a bodyguard with me until after my pregnancy, that was non-negotiable. He also wanted me to make connections with some of his associate’s wives. Here I was eighteen, acting like I was thirty. Doing luncheons was becoming a norm. He also quit flaunting women in front of me. I wasn’t stupid, I knew he hadn’t quit seeing other women but now he didn’t throw them in my face.
As my belly grew, I started feeling Gabriel move and the more my heart opened. I never knew it would be like that. I had no idea how easily I would cry at the idea of feeling love. I thoroughly enjoyed every second of my pregnancy. I was also terrified of giving birth to him. Not because of the pain but because I was scared to lose my connection with him. I was still scared to be a mother. I didn’t know how to be one. Would I still feel the same once he was here? Would he love me back? All I knew was there was never a better feeling than having this life inside of me.
It was during this time that I thought William and I had a chance at love. He had become more affectionate and loved showing me off to his friends. There was no family though. I asked him one time about his parents and he never answered me. I saw how agitated it made him though, so I never asked again. Many years later, I found out the truth.
Gabriel was born at home. William insisted. He was paranoid but refused to tell me why. Paul was called when my water broke and hours later, I gave birth to a perfect, healthy, baby boy. Perfection is the only word I can use for him. Pure perfection for the love that I felt. It was instant. Paul laid him on my chest and the second I looked at him, it was like I could finally breathe. Like my heart was exploding with emotion. Nothing can compare to the feeling you have when they put your baby in your arms for the first time. I felt it for all of them. But Gabriel was my first. He was the first one to ever own me because even though William thought he owned me, he didn’t. This little perfect baby, owned every inch of me. I gave him ownership freely and fully.
William came closer to me to see his son. I was proud and happy to show him but then he took Gabriel out my arms to hold him and my breath stopped. I started to panic internally. I tried not to show it, but I needed him to give me my son back. Even with him being only a few steps away from me it was like a boulder laying on my chest. It wasn’t until William walked back to give me Gabriel that I breathed again.
When Gabriel was a month-old, William invited all his associates and wives to visit our home to show off our son. This is where things clicked for me.
I walked around, holding Gabriel while all the women gawked at him, telling me how precious he was. Then William came and took him away from me to take a seat in the living room by the fireplace. I didn’t know it but William had Jeffery set a chair up like he was king. I walked in the room, watching all the men walk up to William and my son. One at a time, shaking William’s hand. The more I watched, the more I saw it. The hunger, the envy. That’s when Williams words came back to me.
“Take your role serious because now, our son will count on you to do so. Our child isn’t even born yet and people will want what he will have. It’s up to us to make sure they don’t get it.”
At that time, I was not fully aware of what William did or was to this state, but I saw the respect he was given and knew he was important. But, I also saw the jealousy.
My son was born now, and I finally understood what William meant. These men would take every opportunity offered to them to steal from my son. They would happily see him destroyed to gain whatever power he was to inherit. Right then and there, I vowed to never allow that to happen. He was mine, and he would be king in this state just like how his father looked, sitting in that chair.
That day was the day everything changed for me. I gave up any foolish thoughts that an eighteen-year-old would have. Even though I’d been called Catherine Stern for almost three years, this was the day I walked over to my husband and child. I stood by their side and truly became Catherine Stern. Let them come, I would kill any who tried.
Unfortunately, I never saw it coming from the man who made me. William saw the change in me. He had predicted it. His reason for allowing me more freedom was because he knew once my son was born there would never be freedom for me. He knew he could always use Gabriel to restrain me. He never needed a lock on a door again. He had his weapon of choice and he used it every chance he could.
14
Zander
The minute mom walks out the room from scolding us, I look around the table and see all my brothers suffering like I am. Having enough of this shit, I stand, throwing my napkin on the table. Murphy reaches for my hand, but I push it away. I need space and I need to get to work. Mom
’s right. We’ve all been getting lazy. Especially me. I should’ve figured she would take notice to me sending my crew out instead of doing the job myself. Not anymore. She wants us to get our heads out of our asses then that’s what I will do. I’ll show her I still hold my power in this state. I understand it. She wants to make sure we don’t forget who we are and no one else does either. Well, I’m going to show her I know exactly who I am and make damn sure no one in this state ever forgets it. Just like dad said, they will come for us and we need to show no weakness. Zander Stern has no weakness.
As soon as I think it, I stop at my car. I do have a weakness; my wife and my girls. But I’ll be damned if I let anyone come for them. Time for me to earn my keep in this family and make sure my girls have everything left for them to run one day.
I drive straight to Murphy’s casino. Needing to get the information I want, before she can arrive and try to calm me down. Going straight for her books I find what I’m looking for. Bobby walks in and asks,
“Hey man, haven’t seen you in a while.”
Looking up at him, he sees my face and blanches in fear.
“I know but that is all about to change.”
Writing down an address on a piece of paper, I hand it over to him.
“Here, I need you to call the crew, tell them to meet me at this address.”
As I start to walk out the door I turn back and tell him.
“Bobby, I need you to go back to keeping close detail on Murphy. Don’t let her out of your site.”
“Is there a problem I should know about?”
“No, not yet. Just do what I asked.”
Before he can reply, I briskly walk out the casino and go straight to the first address on the paper I wrote out. This guy owes us ten thousand dollars, which he will be paying today.
I knock on his door, then after a minute, I knock again. This time he answers but when he sees me, shock and realization show on his face. He tries slamming the door, but I manage to block it and that's when he takes off running through his apartment. Shit! I hate when they run. I don’t know where he thinks he’s going? Shaking my head at how stupid this is, I run after him, catching him fast and throwing him down on his knees.
“You know who I am, I see.”
He nods his head. “Good.”
Punching him square in his jaw, I continue,
“I want my money. You understand?”
By the time my crew gets there, I have the money in hand and the guy is passed out on the floor.
Sammy asks, “Hey Zander, what’s going on?”
“His debt was on the books. Here, take this and put it in the glove compartment.”
I hand the money over and tell them both, “I want you guys to follow me today. We have a lot of people to see. Remember their asses are mine though, make sure not to get in my way. Just watch my back. Let’s go boys.”
Hours pass. By the time it gets dark, my knuckles are split open and throbbing. But, it’s been productive. I’ve collected nearly sixty thousand dollars in unpaid debts. I look down at my list and see one more name. A heavy hitter. This guy owes us a great deal and has been going between casino’s. Knowing he won’t be able to make good on the amount he owes us, I have my guys grab him and bring him to the warehouse.
Upon entering the warehouse, I hear footsteps and pull my gun out. Thankfully, I see Liam before I shoot.
“What are you doing here? Trying to get yourself killed?”
My guys start dragging the man who owes us money in. Liam watches and turns his back to me and says,
“I figured you’d be here sooner or later.”
He lifts his hands in the air. “Mom said my hands aren’t dirty enough.”
With a half-smile, I sit in a chair, haunching over my knees. “Then have at it brother, it’s time. Don’t you think?”
I watch as he removes his jacket and throws it to me and rolls up his sleeves. I hate having to watch my little brother do this but mom’s right. He hasn’t been dirtied by this work enough yet and it’s overdue.
For a couple of hours, I watch as Liam works the man over, trying to extract all he can out of him. By the end, we get information on about a third of what he owes us but it’s all we’re going to get.
“Liam, he’s done brother. Time to wrap it up.”
Liam steps back and before I know what’s going on, he pulls his gun out and shoots the man, killing him.
“Liam!”
“He doesn’t have all the money. So, I took it out on his life.”
Shaking my head, I chuckle. “Brother, you have a lot to learn.”
I call my crew in, telling them to dump his body for the gators. Looking back at Liam, I tell him, “You can go with them. It’s time to learn how to clean up your own mess.”
Then I grab my jacket and walk out. I’m done. It’s been a long day and I need to be home with my wife and girls.
Murphy
The sound of running water, wakes me. Seeing a light coming from under the bathroom door, I know Zander’s home. He’s been gone all day and I have an uneasy feeling about what awaits behind the door. Nonetheless, I have to be here for him. Standing I prepare myself and open the bathroom door.
“Zander.”
He’s staring at himself in the mirror, scaring me. “Zander.”
He blinks as his focus shifts to me. “Red, go back to bed. I’m fine.”
“No. Let me see.”
I push his arm and maneuverer myself in front of him. “Jesus, Zander. Your hands.”
“I’m fine.”
“Sit down.”
He doesn’t argue as he sits on the edge of the tub. On a deep sigh, I turn and get a wet cloth. Starting with his knuckles, I clean the blood off his hands and face. When I’m done, I reach out, feeling his stubble on his face. “Been a long day huh?”
“I’ll shave it in the morning.”
“No, leave it. I miss it. The girls are old enough now and you told me you would grow it back for me.”
“Then I will.”
I smile down at him and kiss his lips.
“Red, let me take a shower. I want to go see the girls then I’ll join you in bed, alright?”
“Alright.”
Leaving him in the bathroom, I sit on our bed. As soon as I hear the shower running, tears threaten to fall. I love this man more than I ever thought I would and seeing him in pain, kills me. Hearing about his mother’s cancer is causing so much pain, with everyone. Then she tops it off with yelling at all of them, I don’t know how Catherine can do that to any of them. She just doesn’t get how affected they all are. He has been working, but this is the first day since our daughters were born that he's been gone from them for an entire day. I know why though, her words this morning hurt all her sons, but her secrets have hurt them more.
The door opens, and he tells me he’ll be right back. Smiling up at him, I lay down and wait. His voice soon comes through the monitor in our daughters’ room. “All I do, I do for the both of you.” I cover my mouth, trying to stop the tears from falling.
He comes back in, closing our door and gets in bed. He lays down beside me, with one arm thrown over his head.
“Are you going to tell me about it?” I ask.
“Do you really want to know?”
“I think I need to.”
“I went to work and managed to collect a little over sixty thousand of your debt at the casino. I need to go back out though. There’s a few more but they’re minor debts. Oh, the guy who owed you the twenty-seven thousand. I got some of the money but not all. He won’t be paying the rest.”
“Why, did you kill him?”
“No, Liam did.”
“What?!”
“Yep. He wants to start getting his hands dirty, like mom said.”
“Does Avery know?”
“No, I don’t think he wants her to.”
Taking a deep breath, he turns over, facing me. I’m lying on my back and he moves to lay his head over my bel
ly.
“How’s my baby doing?”
“Fine. No problems today.”
“Good. That’s what I like to hear.”
He kisses my belly, where our next child lays and falls fast asleep. I can’t watch Catherine hurt Zander like this anymore. She needs to fight to live, if not for herself, for the family. But either way, she’ll have a fight on her hands. She can’t do this anymore, not without me getting involved.
15
Catherine
Laying in my bed, sleep again fails to find me. I lay my hand on the vacant pillow where Theo’s head should lie. I miss and need him. I understand though, why he’s not here. He went through hell when Beth was dying. I tried to be there for him, but he shut me out. His place was with his wife not me. I couldn’t be selfish with him, and definitely not with her. I met Beth several times but as the wife of my husband’s associate. However, we did meet once by accident and a second time as women who loved the same man. Theo still doesn’t know about our second meeting.
Now, I’m the one sick. I wish I could be selfish and beg him to be by my side. I won’t though, loving him the way I do, I would never ask him to watch me die the way he did Beth.
Sitting up, I dig for my journal in the nightstand. Again, I rub the leather-bound covering that holds my life between its pages. I open it to the page I wrote about me and Theo. Explaining to my sons, how our long-time affair started.
Art of Survival: Part One (A Stern Family Saga Book 5) Page 13