Art of Survival: Part One (A Stern Family Saga Book 5)

by Monique Orgeron

  The nights he would try to come in and play, I knew I was in trouble. He tried to control me in front of the men and that was never good for business. At home, he would take complete control and beat me into submission. This is where I became an expert at covering my bruises and pretending things were fine with me. Our life looked perfect from the outside and I kept all the pretenses up. However, the longer my games went and the more respect I had acquired, the more things began to change. William would come in and try his bullshit of degrading me in front of everyone. He even tried to manhandle me. At first it was subtle. A few men would say things like, “Come on William, leave her alone.” William would get pissed telling them to mind their own business. But as time went on, even his own men were turning on him. They would start trying to get him to leave or blocking his way.

  Things really started changing when Richard started coming to the private games I held just for our people. The men in the life. His respect alone for me carried more weight than William’s disrespect. Then men who only spoke to William about business were now speaking in front of me. This was my in. But it was very slow, and I had to be patient. This gave me hope for the future.

  Then came my biggest move of them all. In 1986, gambling became legalized in our state. Richard warned me how things would change. Construction on casinos were already being permitted. As soon as their doors opened, I would have major competition. If I didn't change with the times, I would fail and more than likely, lose everything. So, I went on a hunt and found a property that would be perfect. The only problem was, it was owned by Murphy Larussa's father. The old man was a bastard and refused to sell it, forcing me to look elsewhere. I found another property right on the river. Come to find out, it was owned by our estate. William's father had purchased it over thirty years earlier and it was just sitting there, empty. Convincing William to let me have it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. But, then again, I think it was because he thought I could never pull it off. At the time, there was nothing more that William wanted other than my failure. I was going to sink or swim, but I knew I was putting more than myself at risk and it scared me. Fuck it!

  In order to raise the funds, I told all the bookies, loan sharks, and all our gaming people to raise our cuts. I needed more money and had to start somewhere. With no choice left, I took the money I had saved to pay Richard back and dumped into the building of the casino. Even that wasn’t enough, so I put the land up as collateral. With barely enough money, I made it work. I hired people who worked for cash only, making it cheaper and easier for me to launder money through the construction of the casino. And I pushed them to finish as fast as they physically could.

  By the time it was finished, I remember looking at it like I’d given birth to it. This was my baby to nurture and grow. Remembering back, the casino was nowhere near what it looks like today. It was a lot smaller, but it was the start of our empire. One thing I had on my side was our casino was the only locally ran casino in the state and I had the Stern name attached. People here in Louisiana spend their hard-earned money, locally first.

  The grand opening was spectacular. William and I were on our best behavior. He acted very attentive that night and wore a proud smile for the cameras. I invited not only regulars from our side of business, but I invited all kinds of influential people, the governor, mayor, and a senator. News crews came out and filmed it. I had a red carpet laid out for photographers to get their fill of pictures of Louisiana’s finest. It was something out of the movies. Richard showed up and was extremely impressed. Murphy and Cherry were also in attendance, even Theo and his wife were there. It was fantastic until I saw Tony Guidry. That son of a bitch had the nerve to show his face in my casino. William and I found a private spot where we had a knock out fight. William claims he didn’t invite him, but I know he did. It was done to remind me who was still in control. William kept the farce up and made Tony leave, but I didn’t buy the act. He wanted me unnerved. Well, he got his wish until I saw Theo staring at me from across the room. He smiled, showing off how proud he was of me and it was all I needed to work the room like nothing happened.

  When it was time to leave, I made sure I went with Richard. William would have to pay for hurting me. Richard was so proud of me and wasn’t afraid to show it. The whole weekend was a high I never wanted to end.

  I stretch in bed looking at my alarm clock, realizing my thoughts took me away from my morning. Reaching out, I feel Theo’s empty pillow again. With or without Theo by my side, I will do what is necessary, like I always have. Plans have to be made and time is running out.

  I’m putting the finishing touches on my lipstick when I hear a knock on my door. “Come in. Jeffery, I would like for you to…”

  “It’s not Jeffery, Catherine.”

  Walking out my bathroom door, I see Fallon standing there staring at my bed. I follow her gaze and see my journal left on a pillow. I break her gaze by asking.

  “Would you like to have a seat? I imagine you came in here for something.”

  She nods her head and walks to a chair and sits. She’s fidgeting, and it pisses me off. I’ve trained her never to show her nervousness.

  “Alright Fallon, what is it?”

  “Theo really moved out, didn’t he?”

  “Looks that way.”

  “Are you going to be alright?”

  What a joke, I make a condescending chuckle. “Of course I’ll be alright. I’ve never counted on a man to be here for me.”

  She stops me with a solemn face. “Don’t do that. Not with me. Are you alright?”

  I sit on my bed in defeat, playing with my fingers on my lap. “I’ll be fine. I knew this could happen, I just didn’t think it would. I guess this time he finally saw the light and left me.”

  “He loves you, Catherine. This is killing him inside.”

  “It’s killing me too.” My attempt at humor was poorly done and distasteful. Fallon’s reaction is not amused.

  “I’m sorry. I am hurting without him here, but I understand it. I just wish he would…”

  “Catherine, no one understands it. We are all taking it hard. The boys are bedside themselves and Gabriel…Gabriel, Shit! Look Catherine, I’m worried about him. He’s not wanting to share his feelings with me, but he’s devastated. You know he’s mad at you and at the world right now. Everyone has to walk on eggshells around him.”

  “They’ll all be fine. Gabriel is just handling it in his own way. He will come out of this stronger. I guarantee it.”

  “I don’t give a shit about him being stronger! He’s hurting, and I love him. I hate seeing him this way. You need to talk to him, to all of them, please Catherine.”

  “I will. When the time is right.”

  “And what about Theo.”

  “What about him?”

  “Aren’t you going to try to make him come back?”

  I think about what she’s asking. I don’t think he would.

  “No, I think this was Theo’s last straw. We’ve had our ups and downs before, but I think this is too much for him. And I love him, so I won’t push him anymore.”

  She starts eyeing my journal again then she asks about it.

  “What is that Catherine?”

  “My journal. I’ve been writing in it for a while now.”

  Looking back down at my hands, I wonder how my sons will feel about some of the things in it. I decide maybe I should prepare someone.

  “Fallon, I need you to promise me something. If or when I die…”

  “Don’t talk like that!”

  “Listen to me, please. I’ll need you to take it and make sure that when you feel the boys are ready, give it to them. I don’t want them to find it while they’re still hurting. I wrote it for them, well really for everyone. But I’m scared some of it will be too hard on the boys. In fact, there are parts I am not sure should be in there at all.”

  “Catherine.”

  “You will find pages in there I wrote about your mother. Those page
s are going to be hard for you, but I think you can handle it. I wanted to show the boys my life but some of it is horrible. Worse than anyone knows. Please, help them through it.”

  “I will, I promise. What about Theo? Do you want him to read it?”

  “No. He lived through most of it with me. But there are some things in there that doesn’t need to be rubbed in his face.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  I let out a small laugh. “Fallon, there are things in there that I don’t care for Theo to find out. Things about my husband and pages about another lover.”

  She looks surprised.

  “Oh Fallon. Wipe that surprised look of your face. Yes child, I had another lover.”

  She starts laughing and says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just thought it was only ever Theo. So, who is this other man?”

  While she wiggles her eyebrows at me. I might be wearing a smile but I’m deciding if I should tell her, but what the hell, she’ll learn anyway.

  “Richard Shaw.”

  All laughter stops. She looks shocked, almost appalled.

  “Don’t look at me that way. I started a relationship with Richard out of necessity. But don’t worry, it wasn’t bad at all. Richard’s actually a good man. He wanted to marry me, still did until his son’s death.”

  “Catherine, did you love him?”

  “I admired him and treasured our time together but no, I didn’t love him. I was still in love with Theo. But I cared for Richard, still do. I respect him. Not a lot of men can say that. He helped me in a lot of ways and I’ll always be grateful to him.”

  Picking up my journal, I hide it back in my nightstand drawer. “I learned from all the men in my life. William educated me and taught me how to be cruel and vicious. Richard taught me how to be smart and calculating. Theo, well Theo taught me about myself. He taught me strength and love. But they all taught me how to survive.”

  Sitting back on the bed, I cross my legs. “You know most of what I’ve learned from them I’ve passed on to you and some to Brittany. But I’m sure by now you two have talked about it all.”

  “A little, but why were there things you didn’t teach her?”

  “Because you were meant for Gabriel. Being the wife of the man who will one day become the boss, you will need it all.”

  I start laughing again. “Do you know it was Richard who taught me how to smoke a cigar and play poker? Jesus, we used to play for hours. Strip poker mainly.”

  “What?!”

  We’re both now laughing. “Richard believe it or not, made me laugh more than any other man ever did. Being with him was fun.”

  “Is that why you don’t want Theo reading the journal? Because you wrote about Richard?”

  “The men in my life were all hard to deal with. Theo has never been an easy man and in a lot of ways, he was harder than William. My husband had no choice but to learn things were going to change. Theo never would. William continued to be abusive, trying to show me he was still in charge but we both knew who was topping. William lost his choice on what moves I eventually made. Theo refused to accept them. Theo had no problem with letting me become the powerhouse that I am today. He never felt inadequate like William, but Theo hated the things I did to make it happen. Namely, Richard Shaw.”

  “Then why write about Richard in the book?”

  “Because, I wanted everything in there. I want and need you all to learn from me and the choices I made, especially about Richard. Listen to me. Don’t ever underestimate him. Richard is the shrewdest man I know. I learned a lot from him and I took that knowledge and created an empire. If you think for a second that you can sneak up on him and take from him, you’re wrong. One day, when Richard and his grandson come to collect one of our girls, that book will help you all teach them. That book and the information I put in there about him will be our number one weapon against him. He will be training his grandson to be just like him. So, our girl needs to have something to go off of. His mannerisms, the way he thinks, down to the way he fucks is all in that book. It might be the only way I can help. Take it and teach the girls all of it. Everything I have ever taught you and more. There is so much more she will need to know.”

  I point to my head making a point. “This is her weapon. Her knowledge will help her survive even if that means she has to use her body. You will also teach her how to do that. You hear me? Do not leave her stranded, not knowing how to use every inch of herself. Her body mixed with her knowledge will make her unstoppable. You promise me Fallon! Promise me you won’t leave my granddaughters to the wolves, unprepared, like I was! The minute each one of them are born they will have a target on their heads, do you understand? That’s why Richard wants one of them. They are mine, to many, that makes them more valuable than my sons!”

  “Catherine, you have to fight this. You have to be here for them.”

  “Promise me Fallon!”

  “I promise.”

  18

  Catherine

  The weather is rainy and gloomy, only proving the kind of day I will have. I’m heading into the city for my oncologist appointment and even without this weather it always makes me feel dreary. The certain doom she likes to remind me of only makes things worse. I almost canceled the appointment, but I know if I did, Paul would find out and be on my ass. He might even bring my boys after me.

  Pulling in front of the doctor’s office I pause, thinking of all the times I’ve made this drive by myself and all the times I’ve left feeling disappointed. I know today will be no exception. She wants to go over the treatment plans, again hoping I will change my mind.

  Like always, I sit in my car, waiting and watching all the cancer patients going in and out. I’ve been watching for years. I don’t even know why I do it. I hate it. Seeing them and knowing of the hell they’re going through is too much for me. I’ve literally witnessed that hell every time I come. Seeing someone I had previously seen, looking like themselves and now, they look like the cancer is eating them from the inside out. Which it is. The weight loss, the loss of hair, their coloring changing, I can’t. I just can’t look anymore but yet, here I am again, watching. Sometimes I wonder which is worse, the cancer or the treatments. I’m ashamed of myself being here with all them fighting for their survival and here I am turning the chance down. But is this really surviving?

  There’s no time to waste, getting out the car, I make the short walk to the back of the building. I always come through the back, scared someone will recognize me. I can’t help but wonder why I even come anymore. The nurse greets me as always with a stupid smile on her face. Doesn’t she know no one here is smiling? No one who’s here is in a cheerful mood nor do we need her smiles trying to lift us up. She can take her smile and … no, no let me stop. She is just doing her job. God, how many times have I had to remind myself of that?

  Walking past her, I go straight into the doctor’s office, where they always have me wait. Upon opening the door, I see…”SHIT!”

  “No!”

  “Well, it’s nice to see you too.”

  Cherry’s sitting there smug, with her legs crossed moving her purse off an empty chair. What the hell is she doing here?

  Practically slamming the door, I advance towards her, deciding not to say anything until I’m seated. Not Cherry though, she looks at me and says, “What’s wrong Catherine, weren’t expecting me?”

  I sit and ask with a sharp but lowered voice, “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “Did you really think after knowing what you’re going through, I would let you continue on by yourself?”

  “Jesus, Cherry, how did you find out?”

  She looks at me questioningly then puts a smile on her face. “Oh, you mean about your appointment and where? That was easy. Come on, I might have been gone for a long time, but I still have plenty of connections.”

  “Alright then, why are you here?”

  Shocking me, she grabs my hand, pulling it into hers. With a sincere
voice she says, “Catherine, I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this all by yourself but not anymore. I’m here and before you tell me you don’t want me here, stop. Because I’m not leaving. This is what friends do for each other. We don’t let them go through the roughest parts of their life alone.”

  Before I know it, a tear has fallen, and my hand squeezes hers. Cherry is probably the only woman that has been able to put up with my bullshit and still consider herself a friend no matter how many times I've tried to push her away in the past. She squeezes my hand back and neither of us says another word. The nurse breaks the silence when she announces they have an exam room available.

  She jumps up with me showing she won’t be waiting and I don’t argue because it won’t work, not with Cherry. Once in the room, I sit on the doctor’s table not needing to change, today’s visit will not be a physical one. Cherry though walks around the room, looking at all the posters and grabs a handful of brochures on breast cancer. After she sits and starts reading them. She won’t look at me. She knows not to push the issue of her being here, scared I will demand she leave.

  The doctor doesn’t take long, walking in she immediately shakes my hand. Cherry stands, letting her presence known, taking the doctor by surprise.