The Forget-Me-Not Sonata

by Santa Montefiore

  ‘What do you see?’ she asked. Elizabeth’s laughter petered out.

  ‘No, it’s fine. I don’t want to offend you.’

  ‘You won’t. Just tell me,’ said Mattie impatiently.

  ‘Well, no one’s going to be impressed with Hertfordshire, are they? I’ve been to Hertfordshire and it’s grey and dreary to say the least.’ Alicia had never been anywhere near Hertfordshire.

  ‘It is not,’ cried Mattie.

  ‘Merchi always says that jealousy is the greatest form of flattery. The Argentine is hot and sunny and glamorous, so I’m flattered,’ she said and spooned the porridge into her mouth. Mattie looked across at Elizabeth who just shrugged her shoulders. ‘This porridge is disgusting. It’s cold for a start. Elizabeth, do you want mine as well?’ Elizabeth shook her head, not knowing quite what to say. Alicia felt intoxicated with her success.

  ‘Just leave it, no one’s going to make you eat it here,’ Mattie mumbled. She watched Alicia push her bowl to one side and help herself from the basket of toast. She admired her. Not only was she beautiful but she was clever too and unafraid. ‘If you want, you can come and stay with me one weekend,’ she said, passing Alicia the butter. ‘Hertfordshire is really very pretty.’

  ‘I might,’ Alicia replied. ‘Now tell me, do you have a camp in Chestnut Village?’

  Leonora found her sister after breakfast in Milton sitting on a bed with the round redhead she had met in the lavatory in the middle of the night and a pretty blonde. ‘Ah,’ said Alicia, grinning broadly. ‘This is my sister, Leo.’

  ‘Hi, Leo,’ said Elizabeth. ‘We already know each other.’

  ‘Oh yes, your midnight rendezvous,’ Alicia said grudgingly. She hated it when her sister trespassed on her territory.

  ‘Yes, it was nice to have company,’ said Elizabeth.

  ‘Mattie here has a really big camp in Chestnut Village and I’m going to share it with her,’ Alicia exclaimed. ‘Sorry, Leo, you can only join us if you know the password.’

  ‘I don’t mind,’ said Leonora good-naturedly.

  ‘How come you are both in the same year?’ Mattie asked, looking from one sister to the other.

  ‘We’re twins,’ said Leonora. Mattie’s eyes widened and her mouth opened like a fish.

  ‘Twins?’ she repeated slowly. Leonora nodded.

  ‘Hadn’t you better get ready for chapel?’ said Alicia bossily. ‘All the new girls have to be in the hall in five minutes.’

  ‘What about you?’

  ‘I’m ready,’ she replied then watched her sister expectantly. Leonora hovered a moment but the three pairs of eyes stared at her coldly. Finally, swallowing her pride she left the room, but something compelled her to linger by the door and listen. Mercedes always said that one never hears anything good about oneself if one eavesdrops, but Leonora couldn’t help herself. Alicia had dismissed her like that for a reason. She was right. As soon as she had gone Mattie exploded.

  ‘Twins!’ she cried in amazement. ‘I don’t believe it. You’re so pretty and she’s so plain. How did that happen?’

  ‘Well, I obviously gobbled up all the good qualities in Mummy’s tummy leaving the rest for Leo,’ she said ‘Poor Leo.’ They all laughed raucously.

  Blinded by tears Leonora ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She placed her hands on the sink to steady herself then stared at her twisted face in the mirror as her body shook with unhappiness. I want Mummy, she thought miserably. I want Mummy and I want to go home. Typically, Leonora didn’t blame Alicia. She blamed the girl with the mean mouth and thin lips who had said such a hateful thing. She wiped her eyes with trembling fingers and gazed in disgust upon her now blotchy red face. She was plain. She was terribly plain. But her mother thought she was beautiful. ‘My darling, you’re one of God’s beautiful creatures,’ she had often said and she knew she meant it because her mother looked into her features with an expression of the deepest, most tender love. She recalled her gentle face and yearned for it with such longing that it hurt.

  There came a knock on the door. ‘Who’s in there?’ It was the firm but kind voice of Miss Reid.

  ‘Leonora,’ she replied meekly and sniffed. Miss Reid opened the door and poked her head around.

  ‘Just the person I’m looking for,’ she said, disregarding the child’s tear-stained face. She had heard her sobbing. ‘Now, I need to ask you a favour.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Leonora, attempting to compose herself.

  ‘Come with me.’

  Leonora followed the headmistress through the dorms and up the corridor to the front stairs. She hesitated at the top, aware that she wasn’t senior enough to use them. ‘Come, come, don’t dawdle,’ said Miss Reid in her clipped English accent that masked a cauldron of emotion. ‘Now, I need a very responsible, sensible girl to help me out in prayers. You see, Midge here isn’t feeling very well.’ She stroked the little dog’s head with her long, wrinkled fingers. ‘I can’t leave him and I can’t take him into chapel myself as I have to take the service. I know he likes you. So would you mind looking after him for me?’ She looked down at Leonora with the wise old eyes of a woman who had worked with and lived for children for nearly forty years. Unmarried and childless she had devoted her entire existence to them and in spite of her efforts to remain detached she was only human and some children caused her heart to yield. Leonora was one of those.

  ‘I’d love to,’ said Leonora, taking the dog from her. She brought him to her face and kissed his nose. Midge had never looked so well, but Leonora wasn’t to know that. They arrived at the foot of the stairs where the other new girls waited in the Great Hall.

  ‘You had better go and join them. I’ll come and retrieve Midge at the end of prayers,’ said Miss Reid, pushing the child gently towards the others.

  Leonora felt much better. The dog was a source of great comfort and Miss Reid made her feel good inside. She decided to write to her mother as soon as possible on the writing paper Aunt Cicely had given her to tell her about Midge and Miss Reid. She wouldn’t tell her about Mattie, because that would upset her and Leonora was too sensitive to want to cause her mother distress. She kissed Midge again and joined Cazzie who grinned at her happily.

  ‘Where have you been? I looked for you everywhere,’ she complained.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m here now,’ she replied resolutely. ‘And I’m fine.’ She grinned back at Cazzie, grateful for her friendship. So what if she was plain, she thought to herself, she was beautiful on the inside and that was what counted. As Mercedes always said, ‘You can’t hide an ugly nature behind a beautiful face.’

  In the next couple of weeks Leonora and Alicia settled into their new school. While Leonora was immediately loved by all the girls in her class as well as those above and below, Alicia was admired and feared like a lovely demon who ensnared anyone who got close with her charm and charisma. But no one was more struck than Mattie.

  Diana Reid was keeping a close eye on Alicia. She had an arrogance common in children used to being told how beautiful they are and a charisma that she didn’t deserve. She looked for the weakness in people and then with the subtlety of a much older child, she gnawed on it with the slow but relentless cruelty of someone who enjoyed watching others suffer. Putting other children down raised her up and Alicia was ambitious to the point of not caring about anyone else but herself. She had many friends, but they weren’t true friends, for real friendship is built not on fear but on affection and selflessness. Alicia needed to be taught about selflessness. Not an easy task with someone of her nature.

  Then one evening Alicia played straight into Miss Reid’s hand.

  ‘Mattie, let’s go and ride the ponies bareback in the field,’ she suggested to her friend. Mattie sat in the corner of their log camp in Chestnut Village. It was a large house built out of the remains of old trees that had fallen down in the storm the year before. Mattie and Elizabeth had constructed two rooms, stuffing the gaps between the logs with cut grass from the pile
left from the summer’s mowing behind the walled vegetable garden. The roof was made of sticks and leafy branches pulled from bushes and trees. It was the snuggest camp in the avenue and envied by all the other girls. Therefore Alicia felt it was most appropriate that it now belonged to her as well. Mattie was uncomfortable with Alicia’s suggestion. Hadn’t they got up to enough mischief already? They had been at school for barely two weeks. They had crept out of the house and down the fire escape in the middle of the night to dance in the light of the moon, stolen biscuits from the larder and eaten them in Library Loo and run naked through the box garden in the afternoon after netball. They had even tormented Elizabeth by leaving her warming not one, but two loo seats until the early hours of the morning. But riding the ponies in the field without supervision was a serious offence.

  ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea, Alicia,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Let’s do something else.’

  ‘I don’t want to do anything else.’

  ‘We’ll get expelled for it,’ she protested, imagining the wrath of her father and shuddering. She was prepared to do almost anything, punishments meant little to her, but expulsion was something she feared.

  ‘I don’t care. I’ve already been kicked out of one school.’ Alicia laughed, throwing her head back, showing off the graceful curve of her long white neck. ‘What’s the worst they can do?’

  ‘My father would kill me.’

  ‘Of course he wouldn’t kill you,’ said Alicia, flashing her icy eyes at her friend, challenging her.

  ‘Well, he’d be furious and shout at me.’

  ‘But he wouldn’t kill you.’ Mattie thought about it a moment. ‘Words don’t kill, Mattie. Expulsion doesn’t kill either. In fact, they can’t do anything. I’ll happily write one hundred lines or stand in the corner of the class. Those punishments don’t hurt.’

  ‘All right, let’s do it,’ said Mattie, suddenly infected with Alicia’s bravado. ‘But we should wait until after supper when it’s nearly dark. That way there’s less chance of getting caught.’

  ‘Good, I knew you’d come around to the idea.’

  ‘We had better not tell Elizabeth, she’ll only want to come too and she’ll fall off or hurt herself or something.’

  ‘Yes, she’s a hopeless fool.’

  ‘But obedient.’

  ‘Oh, we all need Elizabeths. As Merchi says, if everyone was as clever as me there’d be no servants to look after us. Thank God for Elizabeths.’ They both laughed heartily.

  ‘Let’s go and take a look at the ponies and plan which we’re going to ride,’ Mattie suggested, leading the way out of the camp. They wandered to the field and leant on the fence. There in the midst of long lush grass were five fat ponies, as docile as cows.

  ‘I’ll ride that white one over there,’ Alicia said, pointing.

  ‘It’s grey,’ corrected Mattie.

  ‘Grey then. What’s it called?’

  ‘Mr Snow.’

  ‘Well, I’ll ride Mr Snow. Which one will you ride?’

  Mattie thought about it a moment then pointed to the dappled grey who was so small and round that his belly almost touched the ground.

  ‘Lucky.’

  ‘How appropriate. Let’s hope his luck rubs off on us!’

  ‘He’s little so it won’t be hard to jump on his back.’

  ‘Good. Ah, there’s the bell for supper. Not a word to anyone,’ Alicia instructed and they walked down the drive towards the house.

  After supper they crept out into the twilight. It had taken some manoeuvring to be rid of Elizabeth who wanted to join in. They had been forced to arrange a false meeting place where she was now waiting for them, looking at her watch and wondering where they were.

  But Alicia and Mattie were climbing the fence, looking about them with the furtiveness of robbers, stealing into the forbidden, risking everything. The thrill of such naughtiness was intoxicating and their eyes shone through the half-light. ‘You have to ride the pony for three minutes or it doesn’t count,’ whispered Alicia as they ran, bent double, up the field. Mattie giggled as she approached Lucky, who lifted his head and stopped chomping grass. Mr Snow thought he was about to be offered some nuts and neighed softly as Alicia hurried up to him. ‘Shhh, or you’ll give us away!’ she hissed crossly. She glanced over at Mattie who was already stroking Lucky’s head, ready to mount. Alicia was spurred on by a sudden twinge of competitiveness and didn’t hang around to pat the animal but with a running leap clambered onto his back. She sighed with relief, she was first. Mattie scowled and swung her leg over Lucky’s back, then sat leaning forward, hiding her face in his mane. But Alicia was now triumphant and, typically, she had to go that little bit further. Not content to sit and hide like Mattie, she kicked Mr Snow’s barrel of a belly and instructed him to trot. ‘Come on, you silly old thing, move!’ But Mr Snow bent his head and began to chew the grass again as if Alicia wasn’t there. Mattie shot her a look and waved her wrist, indicating that their three minutes were up. But Alicia shook her head and grinned, kicking the pony harder. Mr Snow huffed wearily as if she were an annoying summer fly buzzing about his face. ‘For goodness’ sake, you lazy toad, move!’ and she kicked him again, this time with greater force. Suddenly the pony lifted his head with a start and neighed in fury before galloping off as fast as his short legs could carry him. Alicia was delighted, if not a little shaken. She didn’t see the chocolate brown lurcher dash out from under his hooves and neither did Mr Snow. But before she had time to enjoy the ride she found herself sliding down his back. She tried to cling on but his fur was so soft and slippery she had nothing to grip onto but his mane which seemed to come away in her hands. He trotted on angrily, as if he knew that a tight trot would be sure to lose her, and she slid round his back until nothing could save her and she fell with an angry thud onto the grass. Wounded only in her pride and red-faced with rage she stood up and wiped her muddied hands on her skirt. She turned to see the lurcher lolloping jubilantly towards the gate where Mattie now stood with her arms crossed, staring at Alicia in alarm. Next to her seethed Miss Reid, her face frozen into an expression of the coldest resolve, her fingers running up and down Midge’s back in long, pensive strokes.

  When Alicia rejoined them, her shoulders hunched anticipating the headmistress’s wrath, she was surprised if not a little relieved to find that Miss Reid said very little. ‘In my study, tomorrow morning at seven thirty.’ Then she stalked off down the drive towards the house, followed by her entourage of four-legged detectives. ‘Don’t panic, Mattie,’ said Alicia, trying to sound confident, holding her chin up. ‘Writing out lines never killed anyone, and expulsion, she wouldn’t dare.’ They wandered back to the house in silence, both alone with their fears.

  The following morning they arrived promptly outside Miss Reid’s office. They both hoped that whatever the punishment was they would be able to do it in secrecy. No one knew of their evening adventure and they hadn’t even told Elizabeth or Leonora. Miss Reid made them both wait to prolong the agony. Then a few minutes before chapel she emerged in a tweed skirt and jersey with a string of old pearls hanging loosely about her neck. ‘Come with me,’ she ordered, walking past them towards the Great Hall and front door. Bewildered the two girls followed her onto the gravel towards the chapel. She stopped just before the little steps that led up to it and turned to face them. ‘Now, you’re going to be human trotting poles,’ she stated. ‘I want you to lie on the ground and all the girls are going to walk over you to get to prayers. They know what you have both done and that you, Alicia, didn’t even manage to do it with competence, but fell off. No one will talk to you all day. Then you will both get up every morning at five to help clean out the stables. Not for one day, or for two, but for the whole term. Until you have learned that rules are there for a reason. My priority is the safety of my pupils and of my animals. You could have seriously hurt yourselves last night and damaged those poor ponies. What you did is beyond the pale. It will not happen again. If it do
es I will not be so generous. Alicia, you’ve been here a mere ten days and have revealed a very ugly nature. Perhaps you should use the opportunity of morning prayers to ask God for His forgiveness. As Jesus said, “Love thy neighbour as thyself.” You have much to learn.’ Alicia swallowed hard. She hated the idea of being a human trotting pole for all the other girls to walk over and she hated the idea of getting up to clean the stables at five every morning. It was the worst possible punishment. Miss Reid knew and was satisfied. Alicia was a special case and required a special punishment. She walked up the steps to take prayers while the rest of the girls filed out of their classrooms towards the chapel. She felt a warm sense of contentment and quietly thanked God for His inspiration.

  Chapter 19

  Audrey had spent the two weeks living for the weekend when she would see her daughters again. She had written to them every morning in Cicely’s small sitting room, beside the fire for it rained continuously and was damp and cold. She felt compelled to write in order to have some sort of communication with them although she had little news to share. Alicia had only written twice, the obligatory Saturday letter they were all made to write to their parents and one to Mercedes, but Leonora had written every day.

  Leonora’s letters were long and poetic. She wrote about her new friends and Miss Reid, whom she liked enormously, and the rides on those fluffy round ponies in the riding school where they trotted and cantered one behind the other and jumped red and white poles. She compared the riding to the casual way they rode in the Argentine and decided that she liked it better in England because Frankie, the instructor, was kind to her and praised her in front of the other girls. She was learning to play the piano and had been chosen to sing in the junior choir. But she loved the art classes best of all and had been elected to form the art committee with three other girls. That required them to take Art Club on Saturdays and make sure that the art room was well looked after and tidy. In return they had a meeting once a week with Mrs Augusta Grimsdale who brought in tea and cakes and allowed them to call her Gussie. She wore long floral dresses and ethnic beads which wound around her neck and hung down to her waist like Great Aunt Edna’s. She didn’t say how much she missed her mother, because she was tactful and she didn’t write about Alicia being made into a human trotting pole because she knew how upset her mother would be. Instead she painted flowers on the paper and love hearts which she spent all prep colouring in with a red felt pen. The only indication of her homesickness was the odd smudge in the ink and the odd watermark on the paper. Audrey convinced herself that they weren’t tears. She had to in order to carry on.