The Forget-Me-Not Sonata

by Santa Montefiore

  The old Colonel shrugged. ‘Mighty fine young man, no doubt about it,’ he hissed back rather too loudly and Charlo couldn’t help but agree. He wasn’t the same man who had left them in the wake of Isla’s death. He was less troubled. Audrey locked eyes with Cecil who was watching her watching Louis. But she looked away. It wouldn’t be long before she committed adultery and her guilt made looking at him almost too agonizing. He shifted his eyes to his brother and his shoulders sagged in resignation.

  It was late when Audrey crept across the shadows with the same silent steps that she had taken on those nights when Louis had awaited her beneath the cherry tree in the orchard. But this time she had so much more to lose. Spurred on by the dark memory of that fateful conversation in the church she trod softly so as not to wake her husband, then knocked lightly on the door of Louis’ bedroom. She had to listen hard for the beating of her heart echoed in her ears against the stillness of the landing and she was unable to hear anything else. She remembered the day in the countryside when they had been alone to enjoy each other and her embarrassment at finding herself in such a position. But tonight it seemed right in spite of Cecil who slept unaware that his wife was making the first decisive step away from him. She hovered at the door knowing she was wicked, trying not to think of her husband or her children but remembering Isla’s encouraging grin. ‘Have the courage to follow your heart, Audrey’, she had said and her voice echoed across the years to remind Audrey that life was transient and precious and that love was the greatest gift of all. She would no longer live her life for others but for herself. Didn’t she deserve it after so much pain?

  The door opened slowly without creaking and she slipped inside. ‘I don’t want to be alone any more. I need you,’ she said in a whisper.

  ‘I knew you’d come tonight.’ Louis wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

  ‘How did you know when I didn’t even know myself?’

  ‘Because of what you said in the church. I don’t want to be alone any more either.’

  ‘I meant it, Louis. I won’t lose you this time. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but I won’t be without you. I just won’t.’

  They climbed into bed and lay entwined. She thought she would be nervous, she had only ever made love to her husband, but Louis’ touch was so familiar she felt as if she had been this intimate hundreds of times and that with each time it only got more loving.

  His kiss was ardent yet tender and all the while he watched her with those faraway eyes that were no longer faraway to her for the world of dreams that he inhabited had embraced her too. Her senses were overwhelmed with the spicy scent of his skin, the rough sensation of his face and the feel of his body pressed tightly against hers as if wanting to dissolve through her and into her so that their souls could join together as one. She realized afterwards that she had never truly made love before. She had often enjoyed physical closeness to Cecil in a friendly sort of way, but it had never really been about love. Love was what had happened after the birth of her children. But with Louis she made love, bathed in it, smelt it, wrapped herself around it so that she became it. She had never in her life felt so cherished. Sex was no longer sexual but spiritual and she felt blessed that she had experienced physical love in its purest form. ‘It could always have been like this,’ she said as she lay against him, her hot body cooled by the breeze that swept in to witness their union.

  ‘And it will be, I promise you,’ he replied, his fingers playing with the curls that spread out across her shoulders. In the rarefied air of their love they both believed it was possible.

  In the weeks that followed they snatched moments together when Cecil was at work or asleep in his bed. They rode out across the pampa while Gaitano watched from the terrace. They danced across the sitting-room floor when Mercedes was too busy with Oscar to notice or even care and they played the piano as the evening shadows ate into the precious hours and filled them once again with that sweet melancholy, as familiar to them now as an old, trusted friend.

  But as much as Audrey was dazed with love she was not blinded by it. She was aware that her husband was drinking too much. He’d arrive home in the evening with alcohol on his breath and reach for the decanter before even speaking. He no longer lingered at her bedroom door, gazing on her hopefully, ready to mend the cracks in their marriage or at least to forget in the darkness that they were there. He retreated to his study after dinner leaving his brother and his wife to play the piano together as if he knew he was being betrayed but didn’t have the will to confront them. And Audrey let it go on because she knew that the moment she spoke about it their marriage would be over. She longed to run off with Louis, but the twins would be home for the holidays in a few weeks. She would have to wait until they were back at school before she made any decisions. Louis didn’t press her or even ask her to discuss their future.

  ‘Let’s just live in the moment,’ he said. Audrey was only too happy to oblige.

  Chapter 24

  Cicely was sorry to see the twins return to the Argentine for Christmas. She had enjoyed having them for half-term and on the odd exeat weekend. Leonora had helped Panazel and Florien in the garden, planting bulbs and picking fruit while Alicia had insisted on bringing her friend Mattie, whom Cicely didn’t much like. She was an arrogant child and sulky. Alicia would disappear with her onto the farm and get up to God knows what kind of mischief. Cicely had once caught them tormenting Florien, not that she had minded, the boy was quite capable of looking after himself, but they made an unattractive duo. They had ignored Leonora most of the time and if it hadn’t been for the gypsies Cicely would have had to say something, but Leonora was quite happy playing in the caravans and listening to Masha’s stories. ‘I should like to be a gypsy,’ she had said. ‘I would love to live in a caravan and work in the garden all day. It’s a lovely life.’ Alicia and Mattie had scoffed, screwing up their pretty noses condescendingly.

  ‘You’re so simple,’ they had teased unkindly. ‘We’re going to make something of ourselves, be famous, not some silly gypsy watching the world go by in a muddy field!’ To Cicely’s amazement Leonora continued to look up to her sister with the kind of adoration that requests nothing in return. She didn’t seem to blame Alicia for her wickedness, although she was obviously hurt. She regained her composure with dignity then wagged her tail again like Barley.

  Cicely had grown tremendously fond of Leonora. She was an endearing child and unspoiled, unlike her sister: as loving as Audrey was to her two daughters, she had unwittingly ruined Alicia. She had been born with all the physical advantages and yet Leonora had been given the greatest advantage of all, a beautiful nature. Cicely wasn’t that unhappy to see Alicia go, but when she looked out onto the garden to see only Panazel and his son pottering in the borders, her heart yearned for the plain little girl with the sensitive face and gentle smile who longed for nothing more than the simple life of a gypsy. Barley missed her too. He used to lie on the grass watching her in her muddy jeans and gumboots, waiting for her to take him on a long walk around the fields and woods. Now he seemed rootless, following Cicely instead but distinctly dissatisfied.

  She had driven the twins to the airport and seen them onto the aeroplane. They had both been consumed with excitement, rushing around like a couple of young dogs. She had had to have sharp words with Alicia who had teased Leonora for taking Saggy Rabbit onto the plane in her hand luggage. ‘You can be very unkind sometimes,’ she had said in exasperation. ‘When you’re unkind you look extremely ugly.’ She hoped that the fear of looking unattractive might have some effect. Alicia was very vain.

  Now she was at home and the house was quiet and cold. Very cold. She lit fires and piled on the jerseys and rushed around to keep warm. Only Marcel was allowed the luxury of a gas heater for he complained he had to break the ice on the water beaker before he could put his brush into it. ‘I simply cannot paint with frozen hands, mon amour,’ he complained, gazing at her with his dark, Gallic eyes. �
��And I cannot call upon you to warm me up whenever my body trembles with cold. As much as I would like to make love to you all day, my dormant creativity would torment me.’ Cicely longed for the nights when his dormant creativity remained dormant, but during the day he requested that he be left alone to work. What he was working on she had no idea. Sometimes she wondered whether he did any work at all.

  Audrey, Aunt Edna and Rose were at Buenos Aires airport to meet the twins. It was a hot December day, the air heavy and sticky so that they had to fan themselves to keep cool. They stood on the roof in the sunshine and watched the plane transformed from a mere glint in the distance to the large and powerful airbus that was bringing their precious girls home. Audrey had been counting the days and writing daily, even when she knew they’d be home before they received the letters. Louis was a blessed distraction but she never forgot, not for a moment. Their little faces lingered at the forefront of her mind and her spirit quietly yearned for them even when she was in her lover’s arms.

  When Leonora saw her mother she dissolved into tears and threw her arms about her. The journey had been long and tiring and Alicia had sulked all the way after Cicely had told her off. Audrey cuddled her back and kissed her forehead lovingly, relieved that she smelt the same. Leonora, choked with happiness, was unable to speak. She clung to her mother like a monkey, even when she embraced Alicia and even when they set off in the car. There was nothing that was going to make her let go. She had missed her more than she had ever admitted and now she had her back she wanted to hold her, to verify that she was real and the same mother as the one she dreamed about.

  Alicia cheered up as soon as she had an audience. Aunt Edna drove and Rose sat in the passenger seat, leaving Audrey in the back with the twins. ‘Froggie, our French teacher has such bad breath we put toothpaste in her cup of tea,’ she said and giggled.

  ‘Surely she can’t really be called Froggie?’ Audrey exclaimed, so happy to have her daughters back.

  ‘No, she’s really called Madame Duval, but we call her Froggie behind her back. She eats too much garlic. And we have midnight feasts all the time, just like in the storybooks. Leo doesn’t, she’s too scared. She’s a goodie goodie.’

  ‘I hope so,’ said Aunt Edna. She wanted to add that it was Alicia’s wickedness that got them both sent away to England in the first place.

  ‘I heard all about Art Club, Leonora. What a responsibility that is,’ Rose enthused. Leonora was snuggled up against her mother, sucking her thumb and rubbing her nose with Saggy Rabbit’s furry ears.

  ‘Gussie brings us tea and cakes on Thursday afternoons,’ she said quietly. ‘I like Gussie.’

  ‘Well, she clearly likes you too.’

  ‘I hate art. I prefer gym. I’m very good at gym, Miss Pole says so,’ said Alicia. ‘Do you know, there’s a stable boy called Larry who speaks with a lisp? Do you know what a lisp is?’

  ‘Of course,’ said Audrey.

  ‘He can’t say Alicia, he says Alithia.’ She laughed heartily. ‘Mattie says he’s retarded because he can’t talk properly.’ Leonora knew how much Mattie and Alicia teased him but she wasn’t about to betray her sister. Fortunately Larry was a bit unusual, for he didn’t realize they were being cruel and enjoyed the attention. ‘Tho, Alithia, I’ll thaddle up Thalty for you,’ she continued mockingly. Rose and Aunt Edna weren’t in the slightest bit amused but Audrey squeezed Alicia and kissed her temple, regardless.

  At home, Mercedes was waiting on the doorstep with Loro and Oscar. Alicia squealed with excitement and tumbled out of the car as fast as she could. ‘My dear child,’ sighed the old cook. ‘You’ve grown an inch, I’m sure of it.’

  ‘Did you get all my letters?’ she asked, wrapping her arms around Mercedes’ thick waist.

  ‘Of course, at least they teach you how to write over there in England.’

  ‘That’s not all they teach us. I can speak French, you know.’

  ‘What good will that do you?’

  ‘I’ll talk to Frenchmen.’

  ‘You want to avoid those at all costs,’ she said in her lazy drawl, recalling the French sailor she once tussled with in the port. It had been a short but fruitful union because nine months later Tomas had arrived with his dark skin and languid eyes and hadn’t suffered from the childhood illnesses that plagued her other children. Obviously from all that garlic careering through his veins, she had deduced.

  Oscar carried Loro on his shoulder, feeding him sunflower seeds to keep him quiet in case he revealed the torrid affair he was now enjoying with Mercedes at the back of the kitchen between cups of coffee. Cecil heard the commotion and stepped outside. In his hand he held a tumbler of whisky and his smile, once so dazzling and straight, was now loose and unhappy. He kissed Alicia on the forehead and then Leonora, patting them both like Aunt Cicely had done the first time she had met them at the station.

  Rose and Aunt Edna were aware of Cecil’s drinking problem but didn’t feel it was their place to get involved. Rose couldn’t understand what had driven him to seek consolation in the bottle, whereas Aunt Edna knew. If Louis was going to remain in Hurlingham then she would have to have quiet words with her niece. It had been weeks since he had arrived and he was still living with them. It was most unhealthy, she thought anxiously, pitying Cecil who had loved Audrey from the day he had met her. She knew her niece was angry with him for sending their daughters away to boarding school but adultery was not a suitable punishment. It would only bring unhappiness and her children would be the ones who suffered most in the long run. She watched Audrey, so obviously happy. She was a mother first and a wife second. She wondered where Louis fit in and what their plans were. Surely they couldn’t go on like this indefinitely. Perhaps, she thought hopefully, now the twins are back, she’ll see sense and finish the affair. Audrey is a sensible girl, she’s bound to do the right thing in the end.

  Alicia disappeared into the kitchen with Mercedes while Leonora followed her mother onto the terrace with her father, aunt and grandmother. ‘So tell me, Leonora, how is it going at Colehurst House?’ Cecil asked. Audrey poured the iced lemon that Mercedes had left on the table and handed one to her daughter, who drained the glass thirstily.

  ‘I like it,’ she said.

  ‘Good,’ he replied. ‘And Aunt Cicely?’

  ‘I like her a lot.’

  ‘I am pleased.’

  ‘She has a family of gypsies living in one of her fields. They help about the garden and in the harvest time and I help them too.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘They have the strangest names,’ she said and her eyes shone cheerfully. ‘Panazel, Masha, Florien and Ravena . . .’ she began and then she told them all about her new friends and how much she wanted to be a gypsy when she grew up. Cecil half listened to his daughter while he focused his full attention on his wife. She looked beautiful. Aglow with happiness. He now regretted having sent the girls away. His intentions had been good and he was giving them the best education money could buy but it hadn’t been worth sacrificing his wife. Ever since he declared he wanted to send them to England their relationship had deteriorated. He barely had a relationship at all any more. There was no doubt that she preferred the company of his brother. How far it went he could only guess at. He wasn’t a fool but he was realistic. He hoped she’d come back to him in time. He’d give her all the time she wanted the same as he always had. Meanwhile he felt better with a bit of drink inside him. It dulled the pain and raised his expectations. He would have confronted his enemy in his army days, but this enemy had the one thing in his possession that he couldn’t risk losing. Audrey’s heart. So he’d put his head in the sand like the neighbouring ostrich and hoped it would resolve itself.

  Louis, who had spent the day with Gaitano in order to give Audrey time alone to enjoy her children, arrived in time for supper. The twins barely noticed him until he played the piano. ‘Teach me, teach me!’ Alicia demanded when her mother told her that he had taught music in Mexico. Leonora, who had st
arted taking lessons at school, showed him what she had learnt, her nervous little fingers stumbling through the music. But Louis was enchanted. ‘You’ll make a very good player, Leonora. Now try this,’ he said, sitting down next to her and playing a chord. ‘Then this,’ he added, playing another and soon they were both side by side on the stool, playing in tandem.

  ‘Me next, me next!’ Alicia cried, jumping from one foot to the other. ‘I want to learn how to play. Why don’t I take lessons at school like Leo?’

  ‘Because you didn’t want to,’ her mother replied.

  ‘Well, I do now. Will Louis be here all holiday?’ she asked hopefully.

  ‘I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him.’

  ‘Will you?’

  ‘If you want me to,’ he said and chuckled.

  ‘Only if you teach me to play the piano,’ she said seriously.

  ‘It’s a deal then. If your parents don’t mind me sharing the Christmas pudding.’ Audrey laughed lightly, Cecil stiffened but Leonora and Alicia were enchanted.

  ‘Aunt Cicely made the pudding for us and the mince pies. It’ll be a proper English Christmas,’ said Leonora excitedly. ‘Father Christmas comes all the way out here, you know.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Louis replied. ‘Have you written your wish list?’

  ‘Wish list?’ the twins replied in unison.

  ‘Well, you have to write a list and burn it up the chimney, that way Father Christmas’s little helpers receive it and make sure they get you the presents you want. Only if you’ve been very good. Have you?’