Love's Miracles

by Sandra Leesmith

  “Think it’s funny, do you?” He started toward her, and from the look in his eye, she knew she’d better retreat.

  She wasn’t fast enough. He caught hold of her hand and spun her around to face him.

  She was prepared to run, so when he bent forward and kissed her it took her by surprise. He let go of her hand and retreated, but she was too distracted to notice his move. The rush of icy water swirling around her the calves of her legs brought her attention around in a hurry.

  “You rat! You did that on purpose.”

  He stood on the beach and shrugged. “What can I say?”

  He sounded smug, but there was laughter in his eyes. If she hadn’t been sloshing in ankle-deep water, she would have run up and given him a hug. By the time she did get to him, her ardor had cooled.

  “We’d better head back now that we’re wet. I don’t want you catching cold.”

  Margo looked at the far horizon and saw that the sun was getting low. Where had the day gone to? It seemed like they’d just arrived.

  “Let’s pack up and take a drive along the coast. If we get cold I can turn on the heater.”

  “I’d like that.” She smiled. She’d agree to anything to prolong the day.

  It didn’t take long to load their gear. For the first time since she’d been coming to Fort Bragg, the coast was not fogged in. The sight was breathtaking as they drove along the narrow highway that hugged the steep cliffs. Even after spending the day at the beach, she wasn’t tired of looking at the ocean. Hundreds of feet below them, frothy white waves crashed against volcanic rock, creating a sharp contrast against the deep blue of the Pacific.

  “There’s a pull-out up ahead.” Zane pointed past the curve. “Let’s stop for a minute and watch the sunset.” He turned off the highway and parked the Bronco.

  Today had been a good start for them. They’d laughed and talked about mundane things as they walked along the beach. Several times they touched on serious subjects, but it was almost as if they’d decided that today would be a carefree time – nothing heavy or emotional allowed. Margo had no problem with that.

  Laughter was a balm to her troubled mind. The fact that it was shared with Zane made it all the more special. She glanced at him now as they sat in the Bronco, her mind full of happy memories. He shifted position and caught her staring. His smile widened. “You want to walk along the cliffs?”

  She nodded.

  Zane opened the door. A crisp breeze brought in the tang of salt air. He reached out his hand and helped her scoot to his side and out the door. With his arm draped across her shoulders, he led her to the edge.

  The sharp cry of sea gulls blended with the rhythmic crash of waves. Margo turned her face upward to soak in the sunshine. Blue sky seemed endless as it met the ocean on the horizon.

  Zane pointed with his free hand to an outcropping of rock. “There’re some sea lions. Their brown heads are bobbing up and down. Do you see them?”

  “They’re riding the waves,” she exclaimed in delight.

  Zane’s arm tightened and Margo smiled up at him. His eyes reflected the color of the sea and sky, and in them she read contentment. She couldn’t begin to express the happiness within her: to be with Zane, in a beautiful setting, and to know he was braving his past to come out and face the world. And he had told her it was all for her.

  “Too bad we have to go back to town,” Zane commented. “I’d rather go explore more beaches. There’s one on our land I want to take you to sometime.”

  “I’d like that. What’s it like?”

  “We call it Mystery Beach because of the grove of cypress trees that grow to the edge. The wind blows so strong it has sculpted the trees into odd shapes. When you walk inside the grove it’s very mysterious.” He chuckled. “Well, it seemed that way when we were kids.”

  Margo didn’t pay much attention as he went on to describe some of his childhood experiences with his father and Vinnie. It was enough to hear his voice and know he was enjoying past memories. Unlike hers, his childhood had been full of family outings, laughter, and fun.

  “Maybe someday you’ll have sons to bring here,” she commented, her thoughts dreamy as she pictured a couple of miniatures of Zane.

  His grip tightened and she felt his body stiffen against hers. “I’m not looking that far ahead.”

  “But like we said earlier, it doesn’t hurt to have dreams.”

  “It does hurt when you know they won’t come true.”

  “Won’t they?” Concern lines furrowed her brow. “Are you that sure?”

  Zane paused and swung around to face her. “I can’t be sure of anything except that I can’t get you out of my mind. What that means for the future, I can’t tell you.”

  Margo couldn’t respond as the import of his words took effect.

  “I can’t make promises.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I can’t make commitments either.”

  “Do you think therapy will bring you to the point of doing so?”

  Did he realize how far he’d come by simply admitting he was considering those elements of a relationship? Hope filled her heart.

  “I don’t know. Will it? You’re the expert on the subject.”

  “If it’s what you want, say so and set your goals. It’s what you will achieve.”

  “Right now I’m digging around trying to find something to offer a woman like you.”

  “Zane.” She reached for his hand and drew it against her heart. “All I want is love.”

  He slid his fingers from hers, traced his hand to her throat, and then slid it around to cup the nape of her neck.

  His voice was a whisper when he spoke. “I’m not sure there’s any inside of me to give.”

  “Love can fill you, Zane. If you open your heart and accept it.”

  “Do you have enough love for both of us?”

  The longing in his gaze was too much to bear. She closed her eyes. Did she have the love he needed? Did she want to risk what she did have inside on a man like him? He might throw it away like her father had done.

  His hand dropped and Margo watched him as he looked to the sea.

  She tried to explain. “I want to have a family. Do family activities. Have family outings like you did as a child.”

  “You should forget about me and find yourself the man that can guarantee those things.”

  “You can be the man for those things.”

  Zane shifted. He was restless and nervous. This discussion needed to come later, she thought, not now when they were both so unsure. Then again, dreams of the future, a bright and hopeful future, could be the impetus that pushed him toward healing.

  A fountain of white spray spouted past the last finger of land. Glad for a change of subject, Margo pointed to it. “What is it, Zane? See that dark shape in the water?”

  Zane followed the direction of her finger, obviously as relieved as she was with the change of subject. “I don’t see…”

  “Look. There it goes again.”

  “It’s a whale. Must be a maverick. It’s early for the migration season.”

  “Speaking of migrating… We should be heading into town, don’t you think?”

  He took a deep breath of the brisk air and draped his arm around her again. “I suppose we should. It’ll be dark soon.”

  Margo rested her head against his shoulder, enjoying the masculine strength in him. The sun slid lower toward the horizon, the promise of the evening still to come.

  What did the night hold? she wondered. Zane had booked separate rooms. But right now she could so easily curve into his embrace and accept the kisses she knew he had for her. Maybe she wouldn’t have the strength to keep them apart. Maybe she didn’t even want to be apart.

  The sun finally dropped below the edge, a shiny ball reflecting its golden color on the motion of the waves. They stood for several minutes to enjoy the splash of orange and magenta. When the sky began to darken, Zane dropped his arm.

  She started to move toward the Bronco
, but he pulled her against him.

  “Before we go in I want you to know one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  He wrapped his arms around her, blocking the cool wind with his body and sending her temperature up a few degrees. The look in his eyes did the rest. He smiled warmly and tenderly.

  “I care about you.”

  She returned his smile. “And I care about you.” She loved him too, but she wasn’t ready to tell him that yet.

  Slowly he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. Margo opened her mouth and returned his kiss. The taste of him excited her; so did the firm touch of his mouth. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled close into his embrace.

  The ocean and sky and rocky cliff blended into a kaleidoscope of blue and pink and gold as his kiss deepened. Now it didn’t seem so important to get into town. A few more minutes wouldn’t matter – nor would hours, days, or a lifetime. She needed that much time to love Zane.

  His hands slid under her shirt and across the smooth skin of her back. “This is what I need from you now. More, in fact. Much, much more.”

  Margo knew it was too soon for them, but logic and sense didn’t have any place here. It felt too right to have his arm around her. There was too much emotion they needed to share.

  The breeze tugged at her hair as she leaned against Zane. The thud of his heart pounded in her ear. If only she could stay here forever.

  Gently he slid his hands from under her shirt and curled his fingers around her neck. With his thumbs, he lifted her chin so that he could look at her. She stared into the indigo blue of his eyes and responded to the need.

  His lips captured hers again. “Love me, Margo,” he whispered into her mouth. “I want all of you tonight.”

  She knew she should pull back, but she couldn’t make her body follow her command to do so.

  Zane whispered again. “I won’t let anything happen to you. Vinnie won’t ever know.”

  She didn’t want to think of Vinnie or her job or what was in Zane’s best interest, but she had to be strong for both of them. It took effort, but she backed out of his embrace. Zane let her go but watched her carefully as he rubbed at his jaw.

  “Forget I asked,” he finally spoke. “I had no right.”

  She touched his lips with her fingers. “Don’t apologize. There is something magic between us. Both of us are fragile now. Emotionally fragile. Let’s just get to know each other on a social level for a while. The other will happen if we truly care.”

  “You’ll come back to see me?” He grasped her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers.

  “I’d like to come when I can. It’s a long drive.”

  “Maybe we could meet in Eureka. There’s an airport. You could fly in.”

  The idea appealed to her, too much so for her own good. “We’ll see,” was all she said.

  He placed her hand on his shoulder and with his free hand drew her back into his arms. There was opportunity for her to resist; she was aware of that, but she didn’t want to. She leaned against him and took another offered kiss.

  A car engine sounded. In the cloudy haze of desire, she became aware of its approach. Loud honking finally broke them apart. Zane grinned. She returned the smile, enjoying the caught-in-the-act look in his eyes.

  “Shall we go?”

  “Guess we’d better.”

  He took her hand and led her to the Bronco.

  ***

  Margo took her nightgown and robe from her overnight bag and set them on the bed. She zipped the bag shut with a flick of her wrist. After one last glance at the familiar room she stepped to the mirror. The black silk sheath was simple, yet flattered her slender figure. The slit in the back provided enough temptation to make the dress alluring, yet the high-necked front kept the look reasonably modest.

  A last swish of her brush set her hair in a shiny curve around her face. Her eyes sparkled and she knew it was from anticipation. She could hardly wait to see Zane dressed in a suit.

  He’d made reservations for an ocean-view table at the Hill House Inn. Margo was looking forward to seeing the setting where they filmed the television series, “Murder, She Wrote.” The evening promised to be as full as the day.

  After putting on her lipstick and slipping the tube into her evening bag, Margo draped her wool shawl across her arms and got ready to leave. She’d agreed to meet Zane downstairs. Because it was a few minutes early, she’d go into the inn’s adjoining restaurant and enjoy some of the “oldies but goodies” music that always played there. It would be better than waiting in the room – she was too restless and excited.

  When she reached the foot of the stairs she entered the lobby. “Evening, Nan.”

  The clerk left her filing and approached the counter, her eyes wide and curious. “Wow, don’t you look great?”

  “Thanks. I’m waiting for Mr. Zanelli. When he arrives, will you tell him I’m in the restaurant?”

  “Sure thing. Will you be coming here every week again?”

  “It’s very doubtful,” Margo said and then excused herself.

  She could tell the woman was curious, but the less said the better for everyone. A conversation might instigate questions she didn’t feel like answering.

  Settling in the nearest booth, she ordered a glass of Perrier while she waited for Zane. It shouldn’t take him much longer. After dropping her off, he’d gone to get gas for the Bronco. That would set him a little behind her schedule, but it shouldn’t take him long to shower and change.

  While she waited she tried to picture what Zane would look like. Would he be dressed in black, or maybe blue to highlight the color of his eyes?

  Absently she watched the three teenage boys at the jukebox, hoping they’d select something mellow. She remembered seeing them before. One was Nan’s nephew; the others were probably his friends.

  She forgot about the boys and her ideas when Zane walked into the lobby of the inn. He peered through the door and into the restaurant, giving the room a wary perusal. When he spotted her, he smiled and stepped inside. Margo couldn’t stop staring. He was gorgeous. The black suit was a match for his dark hair, the white shirt showed off his tanned skin, and the sky blue tie was perfect for his eyes.

  As he neared, her senses began to recover. Vaguely she heard the teenagers talking about Zane.

  “Hey. Get a load of that,” Nan’s nephew commented.

  Another boy whistled. “What’s he doing here?”

  “Who is he?” the third asked.

  “You don’t know? Watch this.”

  Nan’s nephew jingled money in his pocket and pulled out a quarter. Margo suddenly became apprehensive. Why, she didn’t know, but she had to stop Zane; stop him from coming farther into the restaurant.

  She started to rise as music poured from the jukebox.

  “There are worlds to see and know my friend.”

  Zane took another step, but it seemed all wrong. He looked at her; love was in his eyes. Then, suddenly, he flinched, and his face turned from love to horror.

  “To far-off lands your sails unfurl.”

  Margo tried to run to him, but her legs wouldn’t move. In slow motion – frame by frame – she saw Zane grab a chair.

  “Ride across the oceans of experience.”

  He lifted it high overhead, and with a blood-curdling yell he hurled it at the jukebox.

  “Friends we’ll be forever.”

  The chair crashed into the jukebox, shattering the glass to bits. Suddenly there was silence.

  Chapter 17

  It wasn’t until later that evening that the situation settled into some semblance of control. Nan had pressed charges, forcing the police to arrest Zane. Margo had been furious, and still was for that matter. Zane had agreed to pay for the damage, but Nan was enjoying the theatrics too much to relent.

  The thought of Zane behind bars made it impossible to eat the meal in front of her, nor could she focus much attention on her companion, Ray Smith. Zane’s therapist had
driven down from Eureka. She should be thankful that he’d gone to the trouble, but right now she found it difficult to concentrate on his conversation.

  There was nothing more they could do until morning. After she checked out of the inn, they had managed to get rooms at a small motel on the edge of town. She had changed into slacks and then Ray had brought her to the nearby café in hopes that they both could unwind. Soft music mingled with the clatter from the kitchen as she and Ray forced themselves to eat.

  Even though the café was dim, Margo could see the black and blue marks on her arms. It had been a tough struggle getting Zane under control. She hadn’t been able to do it on her own. Zane’s outdoor living had given him an edge. It wasn’t until the police arrived that they got him under control. Now he sat in jail – alone with his nightmares. Margo wanted to scream her protest; instead she spoke to Ray.

  “I want to talk to him. You’ve got to take me to the jail first thing in the morning.”

  “He won’t see you,” Ray informed her before putting a bit of coleslaw in his mouth.

  Margo picked at the hamburger on her plate. “I can get a court order.”

  “Under what authority?”

  “As a consultant. I was originally hired by his brother.”

  “According to Zane, you’re not his doctor anymore. He informed me that you were off the case months ago.”

  Margo was tempted to swear. “Did he tell you why?” How much did this man know about their relationship?

  Ray cocked his brow, holding his fork midway to his mouth. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. His expression said it all.

  Margo flushed at the judgmental regard she received from the therapist. It was a monumental struggle, but she managed to hang on to her temper. Furthermore, she had to consider how much to admit to this man. If Vinnie decided to make a legal issue of this incident, what Margo said to Ray could possibly be used against her in court. Then again, what was her career compared to Zane’s welfare?