Save Me From Myself (Nashville Nights)

by Stacey Mosteller

  The way she says the last part makes me wonder. I mean, there are the obvious things he would have lost, his job, and wherever he was living for starters. But, the look on her face, and the way her voice changes when she says that last part makes me think there’s more to it. When she notices the way I’m studying her though, she starts backtracking. “Anyway, I don’t know what I would have done without David and Jeremy.”

  I don’t know what to say to her, so I just tell her, “I’m so sorry for your loss SB. Yours, and David’s. My mom and I don’t get along, but I don’t know what I’d do without her. I’m so sorry I brought this up.” I’m so close to tears, just talking to her about this. David is absolutely amazing. I mean, I knew that already, but everything I learn about him just proves it more.

  “It’s okay, I don’t get to talk about them often. Everyone just pretty much acts like nothing ever happened. I guess they’re afraid to bring it up around us, but it will have been five years next month.”

  “Still, I should’ve asked for a funny story, not something so sad.” I can’t help but feel guilty.

  SarahBeth grins, “Oh, I know plenty of funny David stories. I even know a few that would embarrass the hell out of him!”

  I grin back, “Well, then I think we need to spend more time together. I absolutely need to know embarrassing David stories. He seems a little too perfect!”

  “Perfect? David?” SarahBeth laughs, “I could tell you things that would make you think he’s anything but!”

  We laugh for a few minutes, which is a huge relief after the deep conversation from just a few minutes ago before SarahBeth pulls away. “We’d better get downstairs before David comes looking for you. He’ll think I chased you off. I’ve been known to do that in the past,” she says with a wink.

  As we stand, I remember something. “I thought you were spending the night at Livvie’s?” That’s what she told me last night anyway. Jeez, I hope we weren’t noisy last night. I’ll never be able to look her in the eyes if she heard us.

  SarahBeth tilts her head sideways before she responds, “I did. You do realize it’s after twelve, right?”

  Oh. Well, no, actually I didn’t realize that. I shake my head, and she continues to stare at me. She lets me stew for a couple of minutes before bursting into laughter as she comes to slip her arm through mine. “Come on, L. Let’s go see what big brother’s cooking us for lunch!”

  ***

  We reach the bottom of the stairs, and I can already smell whatever David’s cooking. Whatever it is, it smells fantastic and makes my stomach growl. SarahBeth is telling me all about last night at Livvie’s, and their plans for the rest of the weekend. My mind is still on the revelations from a few minutes ago, and I’ve pretty much tuned her out now that I know she didn’t hear anything last night. Hopefully she got back after this morning’s events too, otherwise I’ll never be able to show my face around here again.

  “Uh, Lyric?” I stop when SarahBeth tugs on my arm. Looking back, I realize she obviously stopped a few steps before I did, and I try to remember what we were talking about.

  I really have no idea, so I have no choice but to say sheepishly, “Sorry SB, I’m not sure where I was just now.”

  She grins at me, her smile just as wicked as her brother’s can be. “Oh, I bet I know where your mind was. It was upstairs in my brother’s room.” Shuddering, she continues with, “Ewww!” just as we reach the kitchen.

  David’s standing at the stove talking to Jeremy who’s sitting at the bar. He turns when he hears us come in and smiles, “Hi ladies.”

  Before I get the chance to say anything, SarahBeth squeals, “JEREMY!” and darts across the room to hug him.

  Folding his arms across his chest, David raises an eyebrow at his sister, “Jeremy gets that kind of welcome? When you saw me, you waved hello and asked where Lyric was.”

  SarahBeth, snug in Jeremy’s embrace, just grins at her brother, “Well, Jeremy and Lyric are way more fun than you are. What do ya expect?”

  At her words, Jeremy pinches her side making her yelp. “Be nice to your brother little bit.” SarahBeth bristles, but doesn’t say anything else.

  I feel pretty awkward still standing in the doorway and start to walk over to the bar to take a seat next to Jeremy and SarahBeth. David, however, has other plans. When I walk past him towards the bar, he grabs me around the waist and pulls me into him.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he says into my ear.

  I turn my head to look back him, “Um, to sit down?”

  David smirks, “I don’t think so darlin'. I think you should stay right here.”

  “How are you going to cook and keep an arm around me?” I like playful David! In fact, I’d do just about anything to keep this less serious version of him around a lot more.

  “Oh darlin', I thought you’d already figured out how well I multi-task.” He smiles widely at me, flashing his dimples, while my face flames.

  “David!” SarahBeth exclaims, “Stop embarrassing her! You’re horrible.”

  He just shakes his head like we’re all crazy and turns his attention back to stove to finish making lunch.

  David doesn’t let me leave his side until lunch is ready and it’s time to sit and eat. When we all take seats at the small table off to the side in the breakfast nook, Jeremy quickly draws David into a conversation about the renovations that they are planning for the bar. SarahBeth and I are left to talk to each other, and she tells me about a graphic design project she’s working on for school.

  Looking around the table, you can tell that these three are a family. Much more of a family than mine has ever been. It doesn’t matter if I was at my mom’s house in Manhattan, or my dad’s in Atlanta, I never really felt like I was at home. Not the way I do here with three people I don’t know that well. The only time we ever sit down for dinner at my mom’s is if she’s having a dinner party, and even then we have to be on our best behavior. My dad was always more the eat dinner in front of the TV type. There was always some sport or show on that he wanted to watch that was more important that talking to us.

  I can’t help but wonder how different my life would have been if either half of my family had been more like these three.

  When lunch is finished, SarahBeth heads back up to her room to work on something for school, and Jeremy says he’s going to work on the plans for the bar changes, leaving us alone again. We make our way into the den and David sits on the couch pulling me onto his lap.

  I’m trying to figure out how to bring up the conversation SarahBeth and I had without making David mad. I don’t want him to think I was pumping his sister for information about him, but I want to get to know him better. I’m worrying so much about trying to start a conversation that I jump when he pulls the finger I’ve been chewing the nail on out of my mouth. When I look at him, he’s studying me with his brows furrowed. “What’s wrong, darlin'?”

  I just shake my head, not really wanting to tell him what SarahBeth and I talked about. Thankfully, David is considerate enough to not badger me about what’s bothering me, even though I know that not knowing has to be bugging him. We continue to sit in silence, me tense on his lap with his arms wrapped loosely around me.

  Finally, I can’t take the quiet anymore and I blurt out, “I talked to your sister this morning.” I say it so fast that I’m not even sure he can understand what I’m saying.

  Obviously he does because I hear a low chuckle, then, “Is that what you’ve been stressing about so hard? I’m glad you and SB are getting along.” Then, turning me so that our eyes meet, he continues, “Did you think I thought you were snooping with how long you two were gone?” I shake my head, and he looks at me like he’s not sure he believes me before saying, “Even if you had been, I wouldn’t have minded darlin'.”

  Oh, if only it were that simple. “No, I know you wouldn’t have. It’s just,” I stop and take a deep breath before quickly saying, “She told me about the accident.”

 
; At my words, David stiffens, “You asked her about the accident?”

  Crap! “I…I…I…” I stutter, because his reaction has me really worried now. “I didn’t intend to! I was just looking at all the pictures in the hallway and I made the comment that you look a lot like your dad. SarahBeth said something back, and then it just kind of happened.”

  David doesn’t say anything for a minute, then looks at me like he’s trying to figure out what he wants to say. When he opens his mouth to speak, it’s my turn to tense up. I hope I haven’t ruined what has been a pretty perfect day. “Lyric why didn’t you just ask me? I would have told you anything you wanted to know. You didn’t have to quiz my sister.” He sounds more confused than anything else, and I can’t help my sigh of relief.

  “I wasn’t trying to quiz her, David. I know you would have told me if I’d asked. I honestly hadn’t really planned on asking.” I’m debating on whether or not to finish saying what I need to say, but David being who he is knows that I’m not finished. He gives me a ‘keep going’ motion with his hand, so I continue. “She mentioned something about how moving home cost you a lot. The way she said it just made me wonder what she meant. It seemed like it was more than just your job or where you were living.”

  David looks away from me, lost in his memories. “Yeah,” he says dryly, “moving back definitely cost me more than just my job.”

  I wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t. He just continues to avoid my gaze. I’m trying really hard not to push for answers, but I can’t help saying quietly, “You know all about my past. Isn’t it fair that I know yours?”

  At my words, David swings his gaze back to me. His shoulders slump and he nods. “You’re right. It’s just, that time in my life isn’t easy to talk about.” Before I can say anything, he holds up a hand to stop me. “And yes, I know that the things you went through weren’t easy to talk about either.” His expression is pained, and I just want to make him feel better. Kicking off my shoes, I turn so that I’m sitting sideways on his lap and lay my head on his chest, cuddling close to him. David wraps an arm around my back pulling me even closer as he takes my hand with his free one. He laces our fingers together and squeezes gently.

  Finally, he begins talking again. “My dad and I argued a lot when it came to talking about college. He wanted me to go where he did and major in business. I didn’t want to be like him. Don’t get me wrong, my dad was great, he really was. He was always there for the important things. Baseball games, birthday parties, all of it. But, he had very set ideas on who he wanted me to be, and that just wasn’t me. I wasn’t cut out to wear a suit and tie every day and sit behind a desk. When he wouldn’t accept that, I decided to get as far away from him as I could. Since my grandparents live in North Carolina, I started looking at colleges there and found one in Charlotte that looked like a good school. And, since they had an architectural program, Jeremy applied there too. We both got in, but I didn’t tell my dad. Mom knew, but she didn’t say anything to him either. She knew how he’d react. I’d gotten into Vanderbilt as well, and he assumed that’s where I was going. Unfortunately, I decided to wait until the night before I needed to leave before telling him where I was really going, and we had a fight. We both said some really fucked up things to each other, and didn’t talk for months. When I came home for Christmas, he still hadn’t forgiven me, and we fought some more. I left to go back early, and didn’t do a great job keeping in touch with SB. I emailed and called a few times, but I was really pissed at my dad.”

  David trails off, and I can tell that talking about this is painful for him. I almost want to tell him he doesn’t have to tell me, but I really want to know him better. After giving me a quick hug, he continues, “After the disaster that was Christmas, I didn’t come back again. I could barely talk to him without having an argument. I know it was a shitty thing to do, but I was so young, and I thought I knew best. Do you know the really messed up part?”

  “What?” David’s chin is resting on the top of my head, so I can feel him shake his head.

  “I ended up getting my business degree anyway. After telling my dad that I didn’t want to go into business, I moved to Charlotte and changed my major probably half a dozen times before deciding on business. So in the end, he ended up getting his way after all. And, I think that may have made me angrier at him. I never even told him. But, when I was done with school, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I tried working in an office, doing the whole suit thing. I hated it. I couldn’t stand being tied down like that.” When he stops talking this time, I sit up slightly so that I can look at him. He’s looking at me a little nervously, and it makes my stomach roll. It’s a look that says I’m not going to like what he’s going to say next. He looks almost apologetic actually.

  “During that time, Jeremy and I spent a lot of our time in bars, getting drunk and picking up random women. He had no interest in settling down back then, which isn’t much different than he is now, but I wanted something more. I was miserable in my job, and was looking for anything that would make me happy. That’s when I met Amy.”

  Amy? Who is Amy? I know it’s irrational, but just hearing a name makes me incredibly jealous. He hasn’t even told me anything about her yet, and I want to scratch her eyes out. Fortunately, David is so caught up in his past that he doesn’t notice the way I’m now gripping his shirt as he continues talking. “Amy was a waitress at the bar we always hung out at, and she was exactly what I needed. She was a tall, willowy brunette that loved to laugh and was always up for doing something wild and crazy. With her, I didn’t have to be the stuffy businessman, I could be the twenty three year old, newly graduated from college guy. She had no expectations, and she never pushed for anything more serious. She was perfectly happy to just be with me. I’d had relationships before her, but I never felt for another girl like I did for Amy.” My heart twists at his words. Is he still in love with her? His voice is sad, and I don’t know if it’s because she hurt him somehow, if he misses her, or still loves her. All I can do is hope that this part of the story is short, because I don’t know how much I can hear about this perfect girl.

  “After we’d been together for a little while, Amy asked me why I was working at a place I hated. I couldn’t answer her. I had no idea why I continued to work for a company that I couldn’t fucking stand. I dreaded getting up each morning knowing that I had to go to work, and I counted the minutes until the day would end when I was there. She was actually the one who encouraged me to get my bartender’s license. Her reasoning was that I spent so much time in the bar, and I was much happier there than at my job, so I should become a bartender. It sounds pretty stupid now, but at the time it seemed like the perfect solution. So, I got my license, quit my job, and started working at the bar with her. I loved it. The people, the atmosphere, less responsibility, and good money once you added in all the tips.

  When we’d been dating for about eighteen months, Amy moved in with Jeremy and I. Everything was great until the accident. Jeremy and I left and came straight home, and Amy was fine with it. She didn’t beg me to stay, but she didn’t offer to come home with us either. After all, she’d never met my parents, or my sister, and she didn’t want to be in the way. I didn’t argue with her. Hell, I barely knew what I was doing at the time. My only thought was that my baby sister needed me, and that our parents were fucking dead. That damn phone call changed the entire path my life was taking. And, at the time, I couldn’t focus enough on anything other than SarahBeth. I didn’t even drive back here, Jeremy did. I don’t remember anything from the time we left the apartment until we arrived in Nashville and Jeremy asked me how we were going to break the news to SB. It was the first time I’d seen her since I was 19, but when she walked into her principal’s office, she ran straight to me like it had only been days.” David’s voice broke a little, and I wrap both arms around his neck to hug him close. I want to take away all his pain.

  He inhales a jagged breath, “There were so many deci
sions to be made after that. I had no idea what my parents’ wishes were. I never imagined they would be gone so soon. SarahBeth wasn’t old enough to make any of the decisions, and my grandparents were so distraught, I couldn’t ask them either. It all fell onto me. That was when Jeremy showed just how close we were. He was there for me, and helped make every decision. He helped take care of SB, keeping her occupied while I went over things with lawyers, and our grandparents. He kept her away while I argued to keep her. Both sets of grandparents wanted her with them, but they wanted to take her to their home. She’d grown up in this house, we both had, and I didn’t want to sell it, or take her away from her friends. Our parents had just died, and I was afraid that more changes would break her completely.

  My grandparents’ main argument was that I was a young, single guy, and I should be out having fun. Not raising a teenage girl. I couldn’t get them to understand that I would give up anything for my sister. We were so far apart that she was always more like my child than my sister. She followed me and Jeremy around everywhere.”

  “So, you and Jeremy have known each other a long time?” I knew they were close, and were old friends, but from what he was saying, and what SarahBeth said earlier, it sounded like they’d always been friends.

  David smiles as he presses his lips against my cheek, “Jeremy and I have been friends since first grade. We got into a fight the first day of school, got detention, and have been friends since.”