Save Me From Myself (Nashville Nights)

by Stacey Mosteller

  My head jerks up when she tells me that Lyric thinks I hate her. I don’t hate her. I was pissed yes, but why would she think I hate her? When I ask Anna, she reminds me of the hateful things I said to Lyric that night. I told her I couldn’t trust her, and that I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone I couldn’t trust. Damn it all to hell. Her leaving is the last thing I wanted. Granted, if Anna had come to have this conversation with me Sunday, my answer may have been different, but I’ve had time to think since then.

  “Do you even know why she didn’t tell you about your fucking sister? Because she wanted to tell you. She agonized over it the entire time. But your spoiled little sister gave her a really good incentive not to say anything.” My eyes narrow. What did SarahBeth do now. When I say nothing, just glaring at her, Anna continues, “SarahBeth told her that if she didn’t let her and Jeremy tell you what was going on, she’d make sure you knew she didn’t like Lyric. In fact, she told her that if she said anything to you, she would hate her. The one thing Lyric couldn’t stand was you having to choose between your sister and her. She would never put you in that position, so she stayed silent.”

  I’m going to kill my little sister. Going behind my back with Jeremy was bad, but basically blackmailing my girl into keeping her secret? That’s some seriously fucked up shit. She knew I wouldn’t like her and Jeremy together, and she knew that I would want her to get along with whoever I chose to be with. Putting Lyric in that position was wrong. “Why didn’t she tell me that? When I confronted her about knowing, she wouldn’t say why she didn’t tell me.”

  But, even as I say the words, I realize why she didn’t tell me. She wouldn’t want to be the reason for me being upset with SarahBeth. Better I was mad at her. She’s probably been waiting for me to walk away all this time. She’s never thought she was good enough for anyone with the shitty way her mother treats her.

  “MotherFUCKER!” I yell, and punch the wall again, just like I did Saturday night. My hand throbs, but I don’t give a shit. Anna jumps, and backs away from me with wide ass eyes. I roll mine. No matter how pissed I am, I would never hit a woman. Well, truthfully, right now, I’d gladly beat my little sister’s ass, but Anna’s only shown me what a complete dick I’m being.

  “When did she leave Anna?” my voice comes out in a low growl, and she flinches.

  “Saturday night.”

  “You let her leave upset?” I can barely control the anger in my voice. Lyric had no business leaving with as upset as she was when I left Saturday night.

  Sighing, Anna replies, “She flew. Said she’d be back in a few days to get the rest of her stuff and her car. I tried to talk her out of it, but she had convinced herself that you wanted nothing else to do with her and her staying would just make things worse. You have to fix this David. She won’t even attempt to make you understand. She’s too afraid of being rejected.”

  “She shouldn’t have to fix this. I’m the one that fucked up and didn’t give her the chance to explain. I’m the one that has to make it right. Where’s she staying?”

  Anna’s grinning at me now, apparently I’ve been forgiven for being the biggest dick she knows. “She’s staying with Aria. I’ll give you the address.”

  By the time she’s done writing it down, I’m ready to leave. But, before I do, I have a sister I need to talk to. We need to get some things straight. Letting Anna know I’ll be on the first flight to New York tomorrow, I head home to sort SarahBeth and her shit out.

  Aria walks into the guest room, turning on the light. I moan. I’ve got the worst hangover. Last night, she dragged me out with her friends for “girls night” which ended in entirely too many margaritas. There was also a lot of men-bashing going on around the table. Aria and her husband divorced two years ago, after marrying entirely too young, and I’m pretty sure she only married him to piss off our mother. The rest of her single friends have been making a steady path through every single man in Manhattan, so they have LOTS to complain about.

  “Come on sleepyhead. It’s almost lunchtime, now get your lazy butt outta that bed!” Groaning, I put the pillow over my head, and try to ignore my sister. Of course, that didn’t work when we were younger, and it’s not going to work now. She won’t let it. Aria rips the covers off me, letting the cool air from the air conditioner raise goosebumps on my bare skin. I was so wasted last night, all I did was pull off my clothes and drop into bed, so all I’m wearing is my bra and panties from yesterday. Gross, not to mention extremely uncomfortable.

  Aria continues to poke and prod me, ensuring there’s no way I can go back to sleep, so finally, I move to get off the bed. After a quick shower I thrown on a t-shirt and yoga pants, I follow her out of the bedroom. When we enter the living room, I can smell bacon, sausage and eggs from the kitchen. My mouth waters, but I’m not sure if it’s because I’m hungry, or I’m about to throw up. When we get to the kitchen island, she hands me a glass of water and some painkillers, which I gratefully take. My poor head is throbbing.

  My sister pulls plates from the cabinet, and starts piling food onto them. When she’s satisfied with the amounts, she sits at the bar, putting one of the plates in front of me. Before I can even attempt to take a bite, there’s a knock on her door. “Expecting someone?” I ask her, but she shakes her head.

  Getting up, Aria goes to answer the door. When I hear a familiar voice, I freeze. What is David doing here? How did he know where to find me? Anna. Damn her, why would she tell him where I am? I told her not to interfere, but knowing Anna, that lasted all of a day, if that. She probably showed up at his house right after she left me at the airport.

  While I’ve been sitting at the bar, frozen like an idiot, apparently my sister has decided that I need someone to stand up for me, because she’s yelling at David. Oh no. The last thing I need is her telling him exactly how I’ve been since I got here. I get up and run to the living room, only to stop when my eyes meet his. He looks about as awful as I feel. Dark circles and bags under his eyes, a few days’ worth of stubble, wrinkled t-shirt, old jeans. David normally looks so put together, so seeing him this way is shocking!

  He’s completely ignoring my sister’s rant, concentrating only on me, and it’s all I can do not to run into his arms. I’m still so mad at him, but surely he couldn’t be looking at me like that if he hated me the way I thought he did, right? He’s looking at me like he’s spent a month in the desert and I’m the first glass of water he’s ever seen. My body ignites, and a shudder runs through me.

  “Hey darlin',” he says softly. “Can we talk a minute?”

  Aria bristles, “Now, wait just a minute. You can’t come in here and talk to her like you did Saturday night! I won’t let you hurt her again.”

  David flinches, but meets her gaze, “I have no intention of hurting your sister again. I just want to talk to her. There are some things we need to discuss.”

  Aria studies him for a moment, then relents. She obviously sees something that makes her trust what he says, because she turns to me and says, “Are you okay with talking to him?”

  I nod, and she relaxes. “Okay then. I’m going to go run some errands so that you guys have some privacy.” She turns back to David and glares, “You better be nice to her. I’d hate to have to cut your balls off.” David’s eyes widen, and he just nods his agreement. Huffing, Aria grabs her purse off the small table next to the door, and walks out.

  ***

  Now that Aria’s gone, I don’t know what to do. There’s no buffer, and the last time we were in the same room, things didn’t end well. David takes a step towards me, and I instinctively back up. He stops, and when I look up at him, his expression is pained. Like it physically hurts him that I moved away from him. “Please baby, can we talk?” he asks, his voice weak. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that he was close to tears himself.

  Instead of responding, I walk over to the sofa and sit. He sits in the chair across from me and leans his elbows on his knees. He’s quiet, and I know he’
s thinking about what he’s going to say, unlike Saturday. I don’t say anything either, because I’m not really sure why he’s here. The last time we were together, he ended things, so I don’t know why he would come after me.

  After a few minutes, he reaches out like he’s going to take my hand, but stops a few centimeters away. “Darlin', I need to touch you,” he says, and because I can never resist him, I move my hand forward until we’re touching, and he takes my hand in both his. He starts playing with my fingers when he starts talking.

  “Lyric, I’m sorry. I never should have said the things I did Saturday night. I was upset, but I didn’t mean them.” He’s looking right into my eyes, like he’s afraid if he doesn’t I won’t listen to anything he has to say. He’s probably right. I don’t want to have this conversation with him. I don’t know what he wants.

  When I say nothing, he sighs and continues, “I understand now why you didn’t say anything about SarahBeth and Jeremy. She and I had a long talk after Anna came to see me yesterday afternoon.”

  Wait, so he didn’t come see me on his own? He only came after Anna showed up to talk to him? That hurts. When I try to remove my hand from his, he grips it tighter.

  “Don’t.” He says forcefully, and I freeze. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not here because of Anna. I was already working through things when she showed up at the bar. I spent Sunday, Monday and Tuesday in a drunken stupor because I knew I was too hard on you. I had no idea how to make things right, and honestly, I didn’t want to face you knowing how badly I’d hurt you. Then, Anna told me that you’d left, and I knew I had to come after you. I had to tell you that I will never stop loving you, no matter how much we fight and no matter who tries to come between us.” His eyes are soft, and he’s looking right into my eyes as he talks, like he’s trying to reassure me that he’s being honest. When I don’t immediately respond, his eyes go a little harder and he says, “Lyric, I know I fucked up, but you fucked up just as bad.”

  I jerk my head up to stare at him in disbelief. “I fucked up? I thought you said you understood why I didn’t tell you.”

  “I do understand that. That’s not what I’m talking about.” He’s hesitant to have this conversation with me, but I’m completely confused.

  “Okay,” I say slowly, “then what are you talking about?”

  David sighs, “I’m talking about you running away. When things went bad here in New York, you ran away to Nashville. Then, when we had a fight, you ran away back to New York.”

  “And you’re the one who took out your hurt feelings over what they did on me. That wasn’t fair, David.”

  David nods in agreement, “You’re right, I did. That wasn’t right, and it definitely wasn’t fair to you. But, you also didn’t tell me what happened. You told me that it wasn’t your secret to tell, and that it was an impossible situation. You never once said SarahBeth told you that she’d tell me she hated you to keep you from talking. If you’d told me that, things may have ended differently.”

  “Maybe things would have ended differently if I’d told you, and believe me, I wanted to tell you. Especially when you started yelling at me,” I confess. “But maybe, things would have ended the exact same way.”

  David looks at me, shock written all over his face, “Then why the hell didn’t you? If you had, the last few days would have never happened. Instead of both of us being miserable, we would have been together.”

  And that’s when I lose it. “I couldn’t tell you what your sister did!” I yell at him. “If I’d told you, after everything that happened that night, that your sister basically blackmailed me into keeping her secret, what would you have done? I’ve gotten to know you pretty well, and with as pissed as you already were with her, you might have really lost it. I couldn’t bear to be responsible for your relationship with your sister having even more problems than it already had that night.”

  David leans in so that our noses are almost touching, “So, you were protecting me that night?”

  “Yes,” I barely whisper the word.

  David’s eyes immediately go soft and warm, and he places his hand on my cheek, “Baby, I don’t need you to protect me. I’m supposed to be the one protecting you. But, I can’t protect you if you’re going to run from me, or not tell me the whole story. You have to be honest with me about what’s going on in your head, and you need to stay with me, even when we fight. Especially when we fight.” I lower my head, breaking our connection, and he immediately lifts my eyes back to his. “Lyric, I love you. Not for what you can do for me, not for any connections you might be able to bring me, but for who you are inside. I started falling in love with you the moment we met that night in my bar, and I haven’t been able to stop it. Real love isn’t based on what someone can do for you, it’s how you feel when you’re with that person. When I’m with you, I feel like I could do anything. I would do anything if it meant keeping you safe, warm and happy.”

  When this conversation started, I was still really hurt, and really upset, so I’ve been sitting on the couch with my arms wrapped around my stomach. I’m in so much pain that I’m trying to hold myself together. And it’s not easy. Sitting here talking everything out with him is against every instinct I have. I’m not sure I’m finished running away. David tore my heart out Saturday night, and it’s not something that’s easy to forgive or forget. Looking down, I try to hide the tears that are now rolling down my cheeks. When I sniffle, David groans, and suddenly, I’m airborne. He sits on the couch where I was sitting and I’m in his lap. Even with everything that happened, I feel at home in his arms. Gradually, I relax against him, unconsciously cuddling into his chest, and when I do, he relaxes as well.

  “Please, don’t run away from me again,” David whispers, his voice breaking halfway through. My heart skips a beat. This man really doesn’t want me to run away from him again. I’m startled when I realize that I don’t want to run away from him either. I don’t say anything further, I just cuddle closer into his chest, allowing his warmth to seep into me.

  David starts running his fingers through my hair, playing with the ends and soothing me while he does it. I know we need to finish talking, but I haven’t been sleeping well, and the fact that he’s here, and I’m in his arms makes my eyes heavy. Every so often, I feel his lips on the top of my head, and the hand that’s not running through my hair pulls my tighter against him. I lose the fight with my eyelids, and that’s the last thing I remember.

  ***

  When I wake the next morning, I’m on my side with David behind me, his arms around me. I can feel him hard and ready behind me, and I try to stay as still as possible so that he doesn’t realize I’m awake. But, of course, he knows.

  “Good mornin’ darlin',” he says in a rough voice. That voice makes me shiver as I reply, “Morning.” His arms tighten around me, and I feel his mouth on the back of my neck. He’s pressing soft, sweet kisses there and it makes me squirm, which brings my behind more solidly against him. He inhales a swift breath, and almost involuntarily grinds against my butt. “Damn, baby, I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

  “Who says I want you to be a gentleman?” I ask him, ending with a breathy moan.

  David’s breath catches. Shifting behind me, I can feel him slide off his boxer briefs before he takes hold of my panties and pulls them down my legs. Lifting my right leg so that it’s resting over his arm, he runs his fingers lightly across my slick skin. His rough fingertip circles my clit and I press back against him, feeling his erection against my behind.

  “Sit up for a second, darlin',” he says in a low voice, and I move so that most of my weight is resting on my elbow, allowing him to slide his arm underneath me. I lay back down, and his hand is in the perfect position to play with my breasts. He begins plucking my nipple with his fingers while he slides one inside me. I clench around it automatically, glad to have some piece of him inside of me.

  “Fuck, you’re so ready for me, Lyric,” he mutters, before biting down ge
ntly on my neck. I tilt my head so he can have better access and he continues placing biting kisses all along my neck and shoulder while sliding his finger in and out of me. The entire time he’s fingering me, his thumb is rubbing light circles around my clit. I close my eyes so that I can concentrate solely on the sensations he’s causing throughout my body.

  Just as I start to clench around him in release, he withdraws his fingers and I whimper. Tilting my hips, he slides his erection deep inside me and my whimper becomes a moan. His thumb never stops circling my clit and I quickly approach a second, then a third orgasm. On the last, he comes with me and we relax into each other, fully sated.

  David runs his fingers through my hair and I lay against him, lightly dozing, when I feel his lips at my ear. “I know I’ve done a shit job at showing it, darlin', but I do love you.”

  “We’ve both made mistakes David, but I love you too,” I reassure him, and David wraps his arms more securely around me, tucking me against him. We stay like this until my sister knocks on the door to tell me that she’s made lunch if we ever want to come out and eat it. David buries his head in my hair and laughs silently. I can feel the vibrations of his laughter against my back, and soon I’m laughing as well.

  Then, David rolls over, getting out of bed and pulling his pants back on. I watch him silently as he slips his t-shirt from yesterday back on, and he stills when he sees me watching him. “What?” he asks.

  “Did you not bring a bag with you?” He didn’t have anything when he showed up at my door yesterday, but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to even think about what that meant.

  One side of his mouth lifts, “Yes darlin', I brought a bag. But, it’s at my hotel and I’m here in this apartment. I wasn’t sure what kind of reception I was going to get, and I figured showing up with an overnight bag might get me punched in the dick.”