by Aimie Grey
“Time consuming is exactly what I need. With only a couple of exceptions, Carter has been working at least sixteen-hour days for the last week and will continue to do so for at least one more. You’d actually be doing me a favor; I’m getting bored sitting at home with nothing to do.”
I knew she was desperate, so I wasn’t surprised in the least when she relaxed for the first time in weeks. “You’re a lifesaver. Will you start by updating the statistics on the regional poverty worksheet I showed you last week? You can use the computer in the other office.”
“Sure thing, boss.” With a mock-salute, I headed to the other room to complete my first task of the day.
*
By the time Friday morning arrived, I’d barely seen any sign of Carter for days. For the past week, most of my communication with him had been in the form of text messages, and with his deadline quickly approaching, he’d missed our appointment with Dr. Wyles the night before. When I woke up early to make his breakfast, I found that he was already gone, so I went back to sleep for a few more hours.
Unfortunately, I had the day off from Saint Jerome’s because all of the kids and staff were at an off-site workshop all day, and I’d foolishly already quit my part-time job at the firm. I couldn’t wait for Marlene to have her baby so I would be an actual employee and participate in activities instead of having to sit at home. There was some research I could complete from home for Desiree, but it wasn’t enough to keep me busy for more than an hour.
My shower and a bowl of cereal for breakfast took less than forty-five minutes, and that was with me taking my time. Using the computer in the office, since it was more powerful than my old laptop, I did what little work I had, double-checked my findings, and then emailed the document to Desiree so it would be waiting for her when she returned to the office.
Wanting the rest of the day to go by as quickly as possible, I decided to find a new, very long book to get lost in. I went back to my room and turned on my e-reader. Or tried to anyway. Just my luck, even plugged in, the damned thing wouldn’t power on.
Knowing it wouldn’t be too expensive, since I only needed the basic model, I decided to splurge a little on a replacement. Since the weather was supposed to be nice today, I decided to make the fifteen-minute walk over to the electronics store in Circle Center.
On my way out of our building, I stopped at the wall of mailboxes to see if the letter carrier had been by yet. After pulling open the metal door with our apartment number on the front, I was surprised to find two matching white envelopes. Two weeks had passed since our testing, and I was beginning to wonder if we would ever find out the results.
Nearly ripping the paper inside, I tore through the envelope that bore my name. With trembling hands, I unfolded the letter and read it carefully.
Negative
Negative
Negative
Negative
The beautiful word stretched from the top of the page to the bottom. This piece of paper was my ticket to having Carter’s undivided attention for at least a couple of hours. With newfound excitement, I rushed back to our apartment, forgetting my excursion to the electronics store, and tapped out a text to Carter along the way asking him to call me as soon as he could.
While waiting for his response, I did some quick touchups with a razor and then put on a dress with the easy access I knew Carter would appreciate. Still no word, I decided to give Brandy a quick call on her work phone.
“Smith, Lewis, Hastings, and Perkins. How may I direct your call?” she asked, using her prescribed script. She wasn’t the firm’s operator, but most of the incoming calls to her number weren’t actually for her.
“Hey, lady, it’s Alissa. Do you want to have lunch today? I need to get out of the house.” Really I just wanted an excuse to see Carter.
“Sure. Meet me here at noon?”
“Perfect. Want me to bring you a Ruben from Sal’s?” I asked, knowing her guilty pleasure.
“You know me so well.”
“See you soon,” I said and then ended the call.
I sent Carter another text and decided to go ahead and leave, hoping to beat the bulk of the lunch crowd to the deli. While throwing Carter’s envelope in my purse, I slipped on a pair of flats and then retrieved my keys from the bag.
In a fantastic mood, I actually made it outside this time and enjoyed the beautiful summer weather on the quarter-mile walk to my favorite deli, which was just down the block from Smith and Lewis. I dug my phone from my purse and dialed Carter, hoping he wouldn’t ignore me a third time.
“Hey,” he said brusquely as soon as he picked up.
“Hey, you. I’m surprised you remember me.”
“Caller ID.” I knew he was kidding, but it hit just a little too close to reality, or at least my perception of reality, for my liking.
“Ha. Ha. Anyway, our test results came today, and by some miracle, I’m completely clean.”
“That’s great,” he said. His voice wasn’t flat, but it lacked the level of enthusiasm I’d expected from a man who hadn’t had a proper fuck in months.
“I’m having lunch with Brandy today. I brought your letter with me in case you want to look at it.”
“I don’t have time right now. Max and I are really busy. If we don’t finish this section today, we won’t finish on time for the meeting on Monday.” Not that long ago, he would have asked me to rush to his office and then bent me over his desk before saying hello. I’d actually been looking forward to that scenario quite a bit.
As disappointed as I was about missing out on a hot, frantic nooner, I still wanted to see him. “I’m picking up lunch for Brandy and me, so I can grab something for you and Max, too. I’m walking into Sal’s right now.”
“What?” he blurted as the bells hanging on the door handle jingled.
Assessing the crowd, I quickly scanned the room as I spoke. “I could just drop off the food; I don’t have to stay if—” The sentence died in my throat as my eyes landed on Carter. And the beautiful woman sitting so close to him that they were practically connected from hip to shoulder. She was so hot even I would do her.
The stunned expression seemed to be frozen on his face as the hand holding his phone slowly moved away from his ear and toward the table at the same time I disconnected the call and dropped my phone into my purse. Suddenly I felt like the old computer at work as Processing, please wait ran through my mind on a continuous loop.
The woman next to him leaned toward him and whispered in his ear. My racing thoughts slowed a little when an all too familiar mask slid into place; Lisa, who hadn’t surfaced for a while, came to the rescue. Calmly, I turned away from the scene playing out halfway across the dining room and headed toward the line at the end of the counter beneath the “Place Order Here” sign.
I tried to shake off Lisa. Dr. Wyles and I had worked on making me strong enough to handle stressful situations without her, and this was the first real test of that strength.
“What can I get for you, young lady?” the older man behind counter asked. Lucky for me, there had only been two other people in front of me waiting to order.
“A classic Reuben and a pastrami on rye, please,” I said, giving the man the best smile I could muster.
“Anything else?” he asked while scribbling my order on the top sheet of his pad. “Chips, drinks, pickles?”
“No, that’s all, thank you,” I replied, knowing there were sodas and snacks at the firm—if I decided to stay for lunch. If not, I’d find something at home.
“Last name?”
“Ross.”
Looking over at the line of customers closer to the door, which was about seven deep, he said, “It’ll probably be five to ten minutes.” I thanked him and walked past the assembly line of workers making people’s lunch to get to the back of the queue to pay.
My eyes stayed focused on the back of the person in front of me as I moved closer to the front at a slow but steady pace. Checking the time on my phone, I still
had twenty-three minutes before Brandy expected me. She was very precise, almost anal, with her work schedule, so I was relieved I wouldn’t be late.
A few minutes later, which was just shy of ten long minutes since I’d first entered the restaurant, I felt, rather than saw, Carter approach me. “Hey, babe,” he said from beside me. Other patrons had crowded in behind me and grumbled about him cutting the line.
“Hey.” My eyes stayed fixed in front of me as I replied. “Sorry I bothered you before; I didn’t realize you had a business lunch.” Thanks to the stress-reducing exercises Dr. Wyles had taught me, my tone came out smoother than I’d expected. “You should have said something.” About more than just lunch.
“Listen, I’m sorry. Max and I were working on office expenses and decided to go out for lunch since we’d been stuck in the office for so long. I should have told you; I guess I just felt guilty.”
“That’s Max?” My eyes widened and immediately darted to the woman in question before I quickly regained control over my reaction. “Why would you feel guilty about having lunch with a coworker? Have you done something wrong?” Please say no, please say no.
“Well, I didn’t tell you Max is a woman, and I didn’t correct your assumption.”
“Is there a reason you didn’t want me to know about her?” I asked with what I hoped was a neutral tone, not wanting to react again until I had a chance to sort through the jumble of new information in my head.
“I didn’t want you to worry about me spending so much time with another woman,” he responded. Did I have a reason to worry?
“Work is work.” When the customer in front of me left, I approached the register and told the cashier my name. After hearing the total, I pulled my wallet from my over-sized purse and handed the man my debit card. “Oh, here.” Once again, my eyes looked over his shoulder to where Max waited for him, but this time I managed to keep it down to a quick glance. “Since I ran into you, I might as well give you this.” Reaching back into my bag, I pulled out the envelope containing his test results, handed it to him, and then took my card from the cashier. Without double-checking the contents, I grabbed the paper bag sitting on the counter and took a step toward the door.
“Wait. Would you like to meet Max?” he asked. Why would he want me to meet her?
Crazy thoughts flooded my mind. Even though it didn’t make a bit of sense, I wondered if he wanted to introduce me to my replacement; ease her into our lives and then slowly transition me out of theirs. Did he think I would go psycho stalker on him if he just dumped me? Did he pity the poor former whore and wanted to let me down easily?
“No thanks. Maybe some other time; Brandy is waiting for me. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“See you later?” he asked cautiously.
“Sure.”
Wearing figurative blinders so I wouldn’t see them through the glass wall of the deli as I passed, I made my way to the offices of Smith, Lewis, Hastings, and Perkins in record time.
“Hey, Brandy,” I said as I walked the short distance from the main entry door to the reception desk where she sat. “I brought lunch, but I don’t think I’m going to stay.”
“Why not?” she asked, her head tilting to the left as she examined my face.
“I don’t feel well. I think I’ll just go home and lie down.” It wasn’t a lie; I did feel like shit.
“You do look green, but I don’t think it’s due to illness.” She tilted her head to the other side before she asked, “What did Carter do?”
“It’s nothing; I don’t want to talk about it. I really do need to get going.” The elevator could ding its arrival at any moment, and I wanted to be gone before it did.
“Nope, you’re not getting off that easily. We’re going to talk. There’s an empty conference room on the other side of the building.” Right on time, the person who covered her lunch break showed up five minutes before twelve. They did their brief, well-choreographed dance of transition before Brandy spoke to me again. “Follow me.”
Brandy didn’t leave any room for argument, so I followed her in the opposite direction of Carter’s office. She grabbed a couple of water bottles from the mini-fridge in the corner of the spacious room while I removed the sandwiches from the bag and figured out whose was whose.
“Spill it,” she commanded after we got settled at the long table with our food.
Letting out a defeated sigh, I figured it might help me sort things out if I talked to someone. Since she was obviously in the know about Carter’s project and Max’s gender, Brandy would be a good person to confide in.
“Well, you know how Carter has been working almost nonstop, even on weekends, for almost two weeks now?” She nodded in response since her mouth was full of Ruben. “When I was almost to the deli, I called him to see if he wanted me to pick them up something for lunch, and he said no; made it sound like they were too busy working for me to even drop off a sandwich.”
“I think I see where this is going.” From Brandy’s position manning the front door, she would have seen them leave together, and they probably even told her they were going to lunch.
“Yeah, he and Max were at the deli, sitting nearly on top of each other.”
“In all fairness, the numbers on those spreadsheets they work on are tiny, and they can’t enlarge it on a laptop because they need to look at all of the columns at the same time. They probably had to get that close so they both could see.”
“That’s understandable, but why wouldn’t he just tell me they were already at lunch? And why didn’t he tell me about Max when they started this project?”
“He didn’t tell you about their history?” Brandy’s befuddled expression did not bode well for this conversation.
“What history?” Suddenly the thought of eating my lunch was almost enough to make me physically sick.
“Fuck. What were you talking about?”
“He didn’t tell me Max is a she—and a hot she at that. I’d assumed Max was a guy, and he never corrected me. Your turn to explain. Were they in a relationship?”
Brandy bit her lip before speaking. “I wouldn’t call what they had a relationship, per se. If it makes you feel better, it was more like friends with benefits.”
“That doesn’t help at all. How long did this go on?”
“Umm…a couple of years, maybe.”
“Years? Fuck! We haven’t…you know…in a while. What if he’s tired of waiting and is scratching his itch with her?”
“Do you really think he’d do that? I mean, the two of you are obviously sickeningly in love.”
That was another thing he was still waiting for; maybe I’d waited too long to tell him. The time I almost said those words to him, things fell apart. There were too many variables right now to risk it. I hadn’t seriously doubted his feelings for me since he came back, but what if it was just foolish hope?
“I’m not sure.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Carter
“Just because she’s backing out doesn’t mean you get out of the contract,” my father said as my parents and I waited for the others to join us in the conference room. Alissa had submitted a formal letter of resignation, but my parents and I hadn’t had time to discuss it before now.
“I know, Dad. I made a commitment, and I intend to honor it.”
“That’s good, son,” my mom said. “We had a late applicant who we selected to take her place; I think he’ll do well here.”
“I’m glad.” What really made me glad was the other partners slowly filtering into the room. I was beyond ready to put this all behind me.
“Good afternoon, everyone,” I said as Max distributed the spiral-bound budget books we’d put together the day before. We were both grateful for the twenty-four-hour copy place down the block. “What better way to end a Monday than with a three hour presentation chocked full of numbers? Everyone have their coffee?”
The polite laughter eased my nerves as I clicked to the first slide of my presentat
ion. Saving my personal request for last, Max and I reviewed the multi-million-dollar budget we’d balanced to the penny. The partners were especially impressed with their sizable profit distribution projections along with the large contingency fund we had included.
When there was nothing left to go over but my proposal, I took a deep breath and began. “After going through countless analyses over the past couple of weeks, I’ve realized the firm is very profitable and liquid, and we are teetering on the edge of realizing huge growth. However, something is holding us back, and honestly, I believe it’s our reputation. We are known for being the best, but we are also perceived as assholes. Since we don’t publicize our pro bono work, and I understand why since we are already inundated with requests, we simply aren’t viewed as being active or charitable in the community.
“With just a dozen or so new paying clients, we can operate at peak financial performance. If we improve the firm’s image, I believe we will gain more than enough clients to bring us over the threshold.” Not that we needed it, but almost all of the suits in the room only cared about how many zeros were at the end of their bank account balance. “It will take a substantial investment, but the increased profit, not to mention the tax write-off, will recover the initial cost in less than two years.”
“This sounds like a lot of speculation,” someone at the other end of the table offered. I pulled out the stack of folders containing my financial analysis and Desiree’s business plan and passed them around the table.
I waited for a minute, watching my father flip through the pages while chewing on the right earpiece of his reading glasses. Once everyone had a chance to get an idea of where I was going, I continued with my pitch.
“To make a big impact, we need to do something major. Max and I have allocated one hundred thousand dollars in the budget for charitable contributions. There is a large population of kids in the area who age out of the foster care system, or who leave their homes due to deplorable circumstances. Almost all of these kids end up selling drugs or their bodies just to be able to eat. The lucky ones will end up on welfare instead of in a ditch.” Yes, I was exaggerating somewhat, but I needed to make my point.