by Aimie Grey
“So, you want the firm to write a check to a homeless shelter?” my father asked.
“A homeless shelter, while extremely important, is a Band-Aid. I want the firm to invest in a center that will help these kids make something of their lives. It will be a safe place for them to get the tools they need to not only survive but thrive as adults. Among other things, the center would have programs to help them secure employment and housing, obtain a GED if needed, enroll in college, learn how to manage money, and provide counseling. The opportunities are endless. If you turn to the business plan, which begins on page twenty, you’ll see the concept in more detail.”
The room was quiet except for the sound of the turning of pages. Finally, Aaron Perkins spoke up. As the head of our family law division, I knew I needed to get him on board to make this happen. “I had a brief conversation with Ms. Martin about this proposal before, and I think it’s a great idea. At the time, the proposal was well written, but I told her she needed to expand upon and update her statistics, which it appears she’s done.” He flipped back and forth through the pages as he spoke. “However, it is going to be very expensive, not to mention it’s a start-up. As much as I love this concept, a hundred thousand isn’t going to open the doors, let alone sustain it. Even if they acquire additional funding, there’s a substantial risk it will fail.”
“Like I said, we need to go big. Having our name associated with a new program helping kids will be huge. Think of all the press the center will get, which will also be marketing for us,” I said using my most confident voice. “The potential reward greatly outweighs the possible risk.” The amount of money I asked for wasn’t material in the grand scheme of things, but you’d think it was their last dollar based on how they clung to it.
The partners discussed the proposal for nearly an hour. After fifty-seven nerve-wracking minutes, they came to a consensus to donate the money on the condition that the center raised the rest of the start-up money and a year’s worth of operating expenses within the next six months. It would be difficult, but I knew Desiree, Alissa, and I would find a way to make it happen.
*
Eager to tell Alissa the news, I raced home. Keeping it from her had been difficult, but I hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up in case I couldn’t make it happen. Max and I would’ve finished with the budget two days ago, but when I shared my idea, she insisted we keep working to find the money. We could have lowered the partner distributions or the contingency fund, but we knew the donation wouldn’t get approved unless everyone was satisfied it wouldn’t put a dent in their pocket.
“Alissa! Babe!” I called out as soon as I flung opened the door to our apartment. “Where are you?” It only took me a second to realize the air was too still, the space too quiet. I was sure she would’ve been home by now. I checked the coffee table and the refrigerator for a note as I made my way through our home. Not finding anything, I headed to her room.
Without bothering to knock, I burst through the door, expecting to find her in bed with her headphones on, but she wasn’t there either. I immediately pulled out my phone and hit the top entry on my favorites list.
“Hello?” she asked, sounding absolutely exhausted.
“Where are you?”
“At work, where else would I be?”
“You get off at five,” I said.
“I’ve been working almost as much as you for the past week. I told you about it, remember?”
“Shit, I don’t remember.” How could I not remember something like that?
“It’s okay; I’m sure you were too busy with Max to listen.” Her voice was dull, completely lacking any hint of her vibrant spirit. “Do you need something?”
“Can you come home so we can talk? Please?”
“If you want to end things between us, you can do it over the phone. I can come get my stuff tomorrow while you’re at work.”
“Babe, that’s the absolute last thing I want. I know I fucked up—again.” I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself, but the faulty logic driving my actions since she walked into the deli on Friday came spilling out. “I lied, and when you found out, I basically hid so I wouldn’t have to see your disappointment. I didn’t want to give you the opportunity to break up with me.”
“Carter, I’m busy. Will you please get to the point?”
“The budget was submitted today, so all the late nights and weekends at work are over. Along with the stupid budget, I’ve been working on a surprise for you. I ran home to tell you about it, only to find an empty apartment. I guess I was hoping it would help you forgive me.” Vulnerability wasn’t something I enjoyed showing, but I knew I had to if I wanted to have any chance of making things right. “The truth is, I need you. Please, come home, I don’t want to be here without you. I don’t want to be anywhere without you.”
“When you first started working all the time, I didn’t want to be home alone either, but I did it without much complaint because I knew it was important to you. Why should I have to drop everything and come home just because the roles are reversed?”
“Then I’ll come to you. I love you, and I don’t want to go a minute longer than necessary before fixing things between us.”
The line was quiet for a few long beats before she sighed. “All right, I’ll be there in a little while.”
All I could do was pace as I waited for her to come home. The moment she stepped through the door, I swept Alissa into my arms and held on tight. “I’m so sorry, baby.” Taking her face in my hands, I pulled away just enough to look into her beautiful blue eyes.
“What are you apologizing for? The lying or something else I don’t know about?”
“Lying about Max being a woman?” I asked, hopeful that was what she was referring to. No—I couldn’t keep lying. I needed to tell her everything.
“That, along with failing to mention the fact you’ve been spending every waking moment with your ex-girlfriend,” she said before I could confess.
“You know about that? You can’t possibly think—”
“A million crazy thoughts went through my mind, but after I took a few hours to sort through them, I realized you wouldn’t have fucked her. It would be hard to believe you’d work so hard to get me back only to throw it all away by cheating. However, it didn’t feel good to hear the news from my friend instead of the man who says he loves me.”
“Brandy told you?”
“Yes, Brandy told me; I might as well have heard it around the water cooler. When we ate lunch together on Friday, I told her about what happened at Sal’s. She told me all about how you used to fuck Max every chance you got.” Water began to pool in her sad eyes. “It felt like you didn’t trust or respect me. It also embarrassed the shit out of me in front of one of my only friends.”
“Max and I have been over for years, and even if I hadn’t met you, there was never any chance of us getting back together. I knew at the time it was wrong to let you believe she was a man, but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you, and I was so afraid you’d leave if I told you about our past.”
“Do you realize we haven’t seen each other, or even talked, in three days? I was beginning to question everything. I thought maybe you were happier that way and wanted me to leave.”
“Never.” I tilted her chin with one finger until she was looking me in the eyes. “No matter what happens, I’m never going to want you to leave. You’re everything to me. We’re going to have growing pains, but I promise to learn from my mistakes. I will never give up on us.”
“You need to have faith in me. Do you think I’m so weak I wouldn’t be able to deal with the situation with Max; that I wouldn’t understand?”
“I’m the one who’s weak; I’m ashamed my faith in us wavered when it came time to make that decision. I don’t know why you’re still with me after everything that’s happened. My biggest fear is you’ll realize I’m not worth the trouble.”
Alissa considered my words for a few moments while studying my face. “You�
��re an idiot,” she said with a shaky voice as she dashed a tear from the corner of her eye.
“I know, but I’m your idiot, whether you want me or not.” The frame of the relationship we’d built had wavered, but when I saw the corner of her mouth twitch up, I realized for the first time the foundation was strong enough to survive any storm. Why did this woman keep coming back to me?
“So, what’s the surprise you mentioned?” she asked. I could tell things weren’t all better between us yet, but her question showed she was trying to move past it.
I retrieved a single sheet of paper from my nearby messenger bag. “This is for you.”
Her eyes immediately went to the highlighted line item; the tears returning as she glanced between me and the paper grasped in her shaking hand. “You want to help my kids?”
“I want to help all of the kids; anyone who needs it. Max and I spent extra time on the budget to find money to donate to Desiree’s center. The firm is also willing to donate the legal services it will take to get the place operational, and I have been appointed to the project.
“Unfortunately, there’s a catch. The firm is willing to make the donation; however, it’s not nearly enough to cover the start-up costs and the first year of operation. We’ll need to secure more donations to make this work. If the project isn’t fully funded in six months, the money will be reallocated to another charity.” A small, tired chuckle escaped my throat. “I don’t suppose you know any millionaires?”
“Yeah, not so much.” Her face went from deep in thought to full of life in just a few seconds. “Actually, I might.” She pulled her phone from her pocket and tapped the screen. “Why didn’t I think of this before?” She brought the phone to her ear and waited a moment for the other party to answer. “Hi, Thomas? It’s Lisa,” she said, and then walked out of the room.
Lisa?
*
Alissa returned forty-five minutes later with a huge smile on her face—a smile I hadn’t put there. Even without knowing anything about this Thomas guy, other than he knew Alissa’s alternate identity, he had just made it to the top of my shit list.
“In the interest of full disclosure, I just spoke to one of my former clients. I figured you wouldn’t mind since it’s okay for us to work with people we’ve fucked.” She raised a brow at me, begging me to challenge her. I couldn’t blame her for provoking me; she had every right to be upset.
“What did he say?” I asked with my back teeth practically fused together.
“Based on my past experiences with him, I assumed he had money, and I was right. Turns out he and his brother Finn own a few luxury hotels in California. I emailed Desiree’s proposal for the center to him, and he loved it.”
“And…” I had a pretty good idea as to why he loved it. He probably hadn’t even opened the file.
“Thomas wants to help. He’s going to talk to his brother about it tonight but said it shouldn’t be a problem since Finn is pretty laid-back. He also said once he got everything lined up, he’d fly Desiree and me out to Los Angeles to meet with everyone and sign the papers.”
“As your lawyer, I need to come too.” If Thomas thought he was going to get Alissa alone, he was sadly mistaken.
“Thank you,” she said. The ensuing uncomfortable silence between us put me on edge but only lasted a brief minute. “My nerves are raw right now. I understand the thought process behind why you kept it from me, but your decision still hurts. I know you weren’t actively trying to hurt me, but I need some time to process everything and calm down.”
“What does that mean?” My biggest fear, which hadn’t been far from the front of my mind, was front and center once again. “Are you going to leave?”
“No, I’ll stay. It just might be a while longer before I’m ready to be with you again physically. Even though you’re going to be home before I go to bed, I’m going to keep sleeping in the guest room.”
I’d wait. My hand and I had grown very close the past few months before Alissa started helping out, and we’d survive a while longer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Alissa
“Babe?” Carter yelled in a curious tone after I heard the front door slam shut.
“Back here!” I hollered back from my room. When he appeared in my doorway, I saw why he’d closed the door with so much force. “What’s all this?” I asked, taking a vase holding a massive bouquet of flowers from him, knowing he must have kicked the door shut since his hands were full. I brought the blooms closer so I could inhale their beautiful scent.
“A guy can’t bring flowers to his girl?” He stepped closer and leaned in for a brief kiss, which I happily returned. Ever since his work on the budget ended two weeks ago, we’d both made an effort to be home by six, and we had only grown closer. I felt kind of bad about throwing Thomas in his face when I was upset about Max, but now that Thomas had agreed to help, there was no way I was going to turn down his money. I just wished I hadn’t been so childish with Carter when I told him about it.
“Are you trying to sweeten me up for tonight?”
“Maaaaybe,” he said with a grin on his handsome face and a twinkle in his brown eyes.
I’d taken the day off from Saint Jerome’s and Carter had come home a little early to get ready for a party being held to butter up prospective clients of Smith, Lewis, Hastings, and Perkins. Carter had sprung it on me last week. He hadn’t mentioned it earlier because he’d been trying to get out of it, but social functions were covered in his contract in some vague fine print.
I didn’t want to go and obviously wasn’t required to attend since I didn’t work there; however, when I saw how much anxiety the thought of going alone was causing Carter, I agreed. I was starting to realize there wasn’t much I wouldn’t do for this man who, for some unknown reason, loved me.
His gaze followed me to where I set the vase on top of my dresser amongst some recent additions.
“Is that you?” he asked. His arms wrapped around me from behind, and he rested his chin on my shoulder to get a closer look at the photos and trinkets I’d put on display earlier in the day.
“Yeah, memories of a happy time. I went to my storage unit to look for a dress for tonight and came across what few things I have left from my childhood and decided to bring them back with me.”
“I love it. You look so innocent.” He must have sensed the twinge of pain his statement caused me, because he cleared this throat and changed the subject. “Did you find a dress?”
“No. Everything I had from before was either too casual or too slutty. I walked over to the mall earlier and picked something up.” The new dress and modest heels I’d purchased were more than my usual budget, but I wanted to look perfect. Making a good impression on the people he spent his days with was important to me. A couple of them knew me from when I worked in the file room, but for the most part, I had been invisible. I refused to go to the party with any trace of whore lingering on me. I wanted Carter to be proud to have me on his arm, not embarrassed.
“I can’t wait to see you all dressed up.” Carter nuzzled my neck and then left to put on his suit.
Carefully, I removed my new black dress from the plastic and slid the thin straps off of the hanger. After opening the zipper on the side, I stepped into the silky material and pulled it into place. Just as it had in the store, when I pulled up the zipper, the floor-length gown hugged every one of my curves perfectly. With years of practice doing my hair and makeup, we finished up around the same time and headed out.
Even though the reception was being held less than a mile away, Carter arranged for a car service to drive us to the event. He didn’t say it, but I knew he was trying to make this night perfect for me—well, as perfect as a work function could be. When the driver parked in front of the hotel, Carter came around the car to open my door and help me out.
“You are the most beautiful woman in the room,” Carter whispered in my ear when we stepped into the hotel ballroom where the party was already in full swing. I
laced my right arm through his left and held on tight to his strong bicep with my other hand.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I said with a wink. Attending a high-society affair on the arm of the sexiest man on the planet was heady. I was so ready to move forward; tonight I would be ripping that suit off of his muscular body with my teeth.
Apparently, Carter could read my thoughts when my grip tightened on his arm. “I can’t wait to feel your natural nails clawing my back. The fake ones were too thick to really dig in.” His voice was low as he spoke words meant only for me. “If I didn’t have to be here, I’d go get a room.”
“You’re going to be the end of me, Carter Smith,” I joked as we moved deeper into the room.
Finally pulling my attention from Carter, I was shocked when I absorbed my surroundings. After seeing this, I realized I had been mistaken when I thought the apartment was completely over the top. If it hadn’t been for the stereotypical hotel carpeting, which tried to look fancier than it actually was, and if you didn’t look too closely around the edges, this cavernous room felt like it could have been lifted right out of a palace.
“There you are, darling,” his mother said as she put an end to the hottest conversation of my life. Carter leaned down so she could give him a cursory peck on the cheek, and then she turned her attention to me. “Delightful to see you again, Alissa.”
“You too, ma’am,” I replied.
“You’ve been doing a lot of work on the new center, I hear,” she said to me. “Carter mentioned you have another donor lined up?”
“Yes, ma’am. Carter and I are flying out to California to meet with him next week.”
“Good, I’m glad to hear it,” she replied and then turned her focus back to Carter, effectively dropping the subject. “Come, I have lots of people to introduce you to.”
Knowing I would never remember anyone’s name, I smiled and shook hands as Carter and I were introduced to numerous new faces. However, it seemed quite a few of these new faces were more interested in my chest than my smile.