The Lives of Tao

by Wesley Chu

“Tao, am I a coward?”

  Oh? Are you speaking with me again?

  “Forget it.”

  There was a pause before Tao finally spoke in a calm, soothing tone, as if speaking to a child. No, Roen, you are not a coward. You are no more a coward or fearful than any of my other hosts.

  “You mean Genghis had bouts like this?”

  No. Genghis was stupidly brave. That trait had nothing to do with my influence.

  “Then what’s wrong with me?”

  I would tell you what I told Edward when he threw his first tantrum. You are causeless.

  “What does that mean?”

  Find yourself and maybe you will understand.

  Roen wasn’t sure how to go about finding himself. Luckily, he had plenty of free time to figure it out. He was still receiving assignments from Command, albeit less frequently than before. He used to receive a steady stream of assignments at least once a week. Now, he’d only heard from them once in the last month.

  The quality of his assignments declined as well. Most of them were back to the boring observation details. Roen was playing in the minor leagues again, receiving rudimentary missions of very little importance. That suited him fine. He just didn’t care anymore.

  Somehow, he had come full circle and was back working at a job that had no meaning to him. He might as well be back at his old company. When he was on an assignment, he did just the bare minimum to get by. Roen didn’t know how it could be possible, given the events of the last year, but he was back to a meandering existence. Life as an agent now felt as pointless as being a computer engineer.

  He spent the next few months wandering alone in the city when he wasn’t on assignment, seeking to discover some semblance of who he used to be. Sadly, the old Roen didn’t exist anymore, and whoever Roen was now didn’t belong in the ordinary slow-paced world. All that was left of his life was influenced by the Quasing, and there was no way he could escape it.

  At first, Roen thought if he just pretended Tao didn’t exist anymore, he could blend back into society. Even that was impossible. The things he knew now – and the ignorance that everyone else had regarding the world – followed him everywhere he went. Every event, accident, or military coup Roen saw on the news made him wonder which faction was involved. Every new technology introduced or regime change made him suspect Quasing conspiracy.

  Jill was the lone bright spot in his life and he cherished her more than anything else in the world. She was the only thing he could think of that made sense, and when he was with her Roen felt as if he still had some purpose. She was worth fighting for. He was painfully aware that she could not understand the depth of what was bothering him and that eventually, left unchecked, it would push her away.

  So Roen was grateful that she still traveled frequently and didn’t see him wallow in this sad state. He tried to put up a happy front when they were together, but Jill saw through him and did more than he ever could have expected to support him. She patiently hung around when he putzed around listlessly in his apartment and nurtured him even when he was insufferable, and he loved her the more for it.

  Roen retreated deeper and deeper into himself and became a recluse. His days blurred together and soon, he stopped caring altogether what happened outside of his apartment, leaving only to work out or shop for food. He watched copious amounts of television. So much so that Antonio joked that he worked for Nielsen. It was ironic though, that in his absence to the outside world, Roen learned more about the world than at any other time in his life.

  He was strangely glued to world events as if subconsciously he was keeping tabs on the war. Occasionally, he logged into the network to correlate his conspiracy theories with the events of the day. Slowly, he began to see the broader picture of how the Quasing affected the world.

  The Prophus kept a detailed database to record all their activities and aggregated them to create a visualization of events that affected the planet. Situations as small as a lumber shortage in Idaho could be traced to the degradation of the Amazon rain forest, and could again be traced to the pirates off the Somali coast. Roen was starting to realize what a complex web the world was, and how the pull of even a single thread could cause ripples on the other side of the planet.

  For instance, the Prophus had developed a new form of processing oil that resulted in greater energy output with less environmental pollution. It was their hope that this process would help stem the world’s thirst for oil. It was also very profitable.

  The Genjix stalled approval of the process through Congress and lowered the price of coal from their subsidiaries while ordering OPEC to raise oil prices. The Prophus had no choice but to increase oil production from their offshore oil platforms. The Genjix responded by sabotaging the platforms to cause a spill while crying foul on the environmental consequences, simultaneously increasing all their orders of oil in China to offset the surplus. The Prophus retaliated by canceling business contracts and exports to China in order to undercut the demand.

  Usually, these tit-for-tat maneuvers went on back and forth a dozen times until eventually armed conflict broke out. It was a cycle that occurred over and over again. As he delved deeper, Roen began to recognize this same pattern as he peeled through the many layers of Quasing history. Cause and effect. The Prophus and Genjix were knee-deep in controlling specific outcomes of human history.

  “How many of these were you responsible for, Tao?” Roen murmured to himself as he pored over the numbers for all of history’s pandemics.

  Do you really want to know?

  “I wasn’t being serious. Wait, were you responsible for any of these?”

  The Italian plague of 1629. I had a hand in it.

  Hearing that made Roen even more depressed. The Prophus was just as bad as the Genjix. “And you wonder why I’m so disillusioned.”

  Do not judge me in hindsight. The Italian city-states, under the control of the Genjix, were about to join in the Thirty Years War. If that had happened, we would be calling it the Fifty Years War today. It was the only way at the time to prevent Europe from being ripped apart. There is more to a tree than what is above ground. Look past the surface.

  Roen felt a little embarrassed. Obviously, there was much more to these things than he realized. Still, was it justifiable to kill hundreds of thousands of people to prevent a war? To him, it seemed like both sides had committed unforgivable atrocities. “You both have a pretty high tally, Tao. I’m sure both factions aren’t getting gifts from Santa for the next million years. The end doesn’t always justify the means.”

  You are partially correct and completely wrong. It is not the action you have to consider; it is the intent. The Thirty Years War killed an estimated seven to twelve million people. No war can last thirty years unless new nations are brought in every few years to stoke the fires. The Genjix did just that. They had two objectives: to maintain Catholic control over Europe and to advance the uses of the gunpowder. They did not care who won as long as they achieved their objectives.

  If we had not prevented the Italian city-states from joining the war, I believe it could have lasted at least another fifteen years, with the casualties numbering in the tens of millions. We had to do what we did to save lives and to preserve human society. Look past the what and see the why. Then you might understand.

  Roen was still dubious about that line of logic. But he had never thought about the reasons for people’s actions until now. “Can you explain to me how you know the things you do will save lives?”

  Unfortunately, we do not know for certain. We just have to believe it will. We know our enemy, and we know what they are capable of. Did I ever tell you about the bubonic plague?

  Roen nodded.

  And the Spanish Inquisition? And the Thirty Years War? And both world wars?

  Roen nodded each time.

  They were all products of Genjix plans, part of their doctrine about conflict and human evolution. What we strive for is to stop the Genjix from starting the next world
war or the next pandemic outbreak. You are unhappy with the things we make you do. Be angry if you like, but I will not apologize for who we are and what our mission is on behalf of your species.

  You think you are doing us a favor? Let me clarify something. The Prophus are outcasts because we defended you. Our lives would have been easier if we simply said nothing. I sympathize with you for the loss of the innocent, but I have seen more evil done on behalf of our return than you can ever imagine. Grief is a luxury I cannot afford.

  “How do you know the Genjix aren’t right? I mean, we’re a pretty dumb bunch. Look at the race to the moon. I read that the Genjix goaded both the US and USSR toward the Cold War and the space race. If there wasn’t that conflict, would there have been a race at all?”

  It is true the Cold War was a milestone in human space travel and brought us much closer to returning home, but who is to say that the progress might not have been faster if both nations had put aside their differences and worked together toward that common goal?

  “I never thought of it that way.”

  It is a lot to take in. Conflict does breed innovation, but so does diversity and cultural development. Bringing people together to share ideas is just as powerful a catalyst.

  And then finally, after six months of not speaking to each other, Roen opened up just a sliver. In reality, it was a long time coming. Roen missed Tao like he would an old friend he had lost.

  “Tao, I forgive you.”

  Wait, I am the one being forgiven?

  “Let’s say there should be apologies on both sides.”

  Fair enough.

  “Humor me while I have another moment with myself with you. I’ve been angry for a while now. I didn’t want to see a truth that I didn’t like and while this whole thing is still very depressing, I get it. I don’t agree with everything you preach, but now I know where you’re coming from.”

  There was a long pause before Tao finally spoke.

  This game we play to control humanity is not a pretty one. I regret having to play it at all. Roen, I am grateful to you for what you sacrifice on behalf of the Prophus. I do not always show it, but I am. When you are ready to continue with this war, we will do it together. And if you are not, then I am content to wait.

  Roen shook his head. “I do need to get back in the game despite my injured sensibilities. This isn’t the time to stay on the sidelines.”

  The two talked late into the evening, well after the scotch was gone and the television aired only infomercials. There was a feeling of forgiveness in Roen that warmed him from deep inside, and suddenly he felt a semblance of his old self again. It was that or too much scotch. Regardless, it gave him peace. He knew now that running a mission was not enough. He also had to know its purpose, and that made all the difference.

  Hey Roen, thank you for forgiving me, and I do apologize for putting you into this situation. You should get some sleep though. You have a big day tomorrow.

  “I do?”

  Seriously, I do not know how you survived your entire life without me. You have dinner with Jill’s parents tomorrow.

  Roen froze and looked at the calendar. In his wallowing, it had slipped his mind! Jill had made the reservations two months ago. “Thanks. I guess I owe you another one.”

  This one is a freebie. I believe I also owe you thanks as well. So many times, I put heavy expectations on my hosts and forget that their sacrifice is even greater than mine. You are my partner, Roen, and for that, you have my gratitude.

  Roen grinned. “What’s the capital of old Assyria?”

  Cute. Now, off to bed, young man. Take a shower and get a haircut tomorrow morning. You look like as bad as you have been feeling the past few months. Jill’s parents will take exception to their daughter dating a vagrant.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  THE PARENTS

  The Genjix’s newest conflict, the one you now refer to as the Thirty Years War, was just starting to take a hold of Europe. Our own war with the Genjix had been escalating as well. During those years, a myth sprouted among the Catholic clergy about the mystical Chest of the Menagerie. It was said that this chest had godly or devilish powers. In either case, the church wanted to find this chest badly. Just as the violence broke out, a French cardinal, Armand Jean du Plessis de Richelieu, was notified of the Chest of the Menagerie’s location. Zoras, his Genjix, rushed to action.

  Roen was more afraid of meeting Jill’s parents than of being shot at by the Genjix. It didn’t help that Jill was just as nervous. The two had decided to go all out, making reservations at the famous Alinea restaurant just north of downtown Chicago. This time, none of Tao’s soothing words or encouraging pep talks made any difference.

  After a lifetime of the fast-paced whirlwind of the Big Apple, Louis and Lee Ann Tesser were now living out their golden years in San Diego. Louis was a retired stockbroker, and Lee Ann used to be a general counsel for a hedge fund. Roen never felt so under a microscope in his entire life. They studied him with bemused expressions, as if he was an orangutan throwing feces at the keepers.

  Jill wasn’t much help. She was a bundle of nerves and gaped in shock when she first saw his ragged appearance. He had shaved, gotten a haircut, and wore freshly laundered clothes, but there was no hiding his gaunt face, tired eyes, and pale skin. The ladies at the salon could only do so much. The two of them stood just outside of the restaurant like disciplined children with her parents. Immediately, Roen knew he was being appraised like a side of beef. The question was whether they were appraising him for steak or for dog food.

  “So, you two work together?” was the first thing Lee Ann said. “Are you an attorney as well?”

  “Actually, I was let go earlier this year,” Roen admitted, turning a slight shade of red.

  Ah yes. Roen’s famous truthful stupidity rears its ugly head again.

  “Well, isn’t that important in a relationship, Tao?”

  Not to the parents!

  “So what are you doing now?” Louis asked as they walked into the restaurant and sat down at their table.

  Keep to the script. Do not undersell yourself.

  Roen told them the rehearsed tale he told all his friends and family – that he worked for Bynum Consulting doing technical strategy. Her parents asked polite softball questions up until around the time the appetizers came, then the conversation ever-so-subtly became an interrogation. As a former lawyer, Lee Ann had a way of asking seemingly innocuous questions that had far more layers than they seemed. Questions that started innocently – like how many days a week he traveled – morphed into how little time they could possibly spend with each other into how he could take care of her if he was never around. Other questions like him renting and having a roommate turned into how he expected to start a family.

  Thankfully, Roen received a slight reprieve when Lee Ann and Jill gave each other a knowing look and excused themselves, walking away to talk in private. Unfortunately, it left him alone with Louis.

  “Look, Roen,” Louis began, “let’s get a few things clear. This is the second time that Jill has introduced us to one of her boyfriends, so it’s a big deal. Now, I might’ve been a big-city stockbroker, but I’m just a country boy from the swamps of Alabama, so I’m going to tell you some of my country-boy sexist philosophies, and you’re gonna listen.” Suddenly, his proper New York accent changed into a Southern twang.

  Roen gulped and nodded. This was going to be bad. His mind raced as he tried to mask his terror.

  “I like you,” Louis said. “You seem smart, but not too smart. You’re attentive, polite, and you’re scared of me. That’s a good thing; that’s how you should be. So here’s my philosophy on life and women, and I want you to listen good. I’ve always viewed God as very fair. Girls in their twenties – the world’s their oyster. They’re beautiful. Older men want to date them. Guys pay for everything, and everyone desires them. Men on the other hand, when we’re in our twenties, we’re dumb, we’re poor, and women our age want not
hing to do with us. You follow?”

  “Um… Tao? What the hell is he talking about?”

  I like this guy. He is quite the philosopher.

  “But like I said,” Louis continued. “Our Lord is a fair and good God. How things even out is that women might shine bright, but they burn out fast. Their lives are over by thirty. What do you geeks call it? Half-life? Shelf life? Whatever. It’s shorter than for us men. They have to find the right guy right away or it becomes a game of settling. That’s why Jill’s mother and I got married at an early age. She found the best guy she could possibly find at her peak. Guys are like wine. We get finer with time. We start earning money. We become more confident. We become more distinguished with age, and younger girls will still date us. You get me?”

  Roen nodded, though he wasn’t sure at all where this was going. “I think so,” he mumbled politely.

  “So,” Louis continued, “Jill’s shelf life is almost over and she has to find a quality man soon, and by the way I figure it, she’s been spending the best years of her life with you. And while you’re getting better, it’s no big deal if you move on later because you’re still aging well, like a good bottle of cab. You know where I’m going with this?”

  Roen shook his head.

  I never had it figured that Louis was such a philosopher. In another time with the right Quasing, he could have been a Nietzsche or a Voltaire!

  “If I find out that you wasted the best years of my little girl’s life because of your fine-wine-aging process, I’m going to kill you. Because if she thinks you’re the best she can do, and she loves you, hell, I’ll buy it. I might even call you son one day, as long as you know how to hunt and fish. But if you’re anything other than what she thinks you are, I’ll turn your fine-wine-aging ass to vinegar so fast you better hope you can get FedExed to Africa, because I will hunt you until the ends of the green Earth, so help you God.” Louis bared his teeth and then finished his beer with one big chug. “We clear, son?”

  “Crystal.” Roen felt what little blood was left in his face drain to his feet. “I just want...”