Noah

by Justine Elvira

  "You know, I'm going to start getting pissed if you continue to speak about Caleb that way and telling me I'm naive."

  "Except you won't get mad because deep down inside you know I'm right."

  Is Kendall right? Somewhere deep inside do I know that Caleb is an asshole?

  Sure, we've had our own ups and downs but I honestly believe he loves me, despite my flaws. He's not perfect, but who is? And he never cheated on me. He proved that the day he proposed. I know Kendall feels differently but there is absolutely no proof to back up her feelings. She just wants me to end up with Noah and that's unrealistic. Noah and I won't work. If it were plausible it would have happened by now, but it's too late. Whether it's something Noah wants or not, I'm engaged to Caleb now. I may not be a lot of things, but I am a woman of my word and I told Caleb I would marry him. I'm going to stay true to that.

  "So...how was he?" Kendall asks me again, thankfully dropping the trash talk about Caleb.

  Rolling my eyes I answer her, and I tell her the truth since she would be able to read right through any lies. "Amazing. The best of my life."

  "And you're willing to give that up?"

  "I have to. Sex isn't everything, Kendall. You know, can we stop with this right now? I'm marrying Caleb and there's nothing you're going to say to change my mind."

  "All right, fine. So how big is he?"

  I grin and bump my shoulder into hers. "Michael Fassbender big."

  "Shut up! You're lying."

  "I'm really not."

  "Wow."

  "I know. It's like experiencing a unicorn or something."

  We burst out laughing and then I nudge her shoulder and whisper for her to settle down as I spot the guys heading back over to our table. Before they reach us Kendall mumbles, "Once you're married, the ban on Noah is lifted because I want to experience Michael Fassbender for myself." She giggles softly under her breath but I don't join her. The thought of her sleeping with Noah is unsettling. The thought of Noah sleeping with anyone is enough to make me sick.

  “Here, baby." Caleb hands me an ice-cold beer and sits on the stool to my left, forcing Noah to sit across from me. You'd think he'd have to look at me sitting where he is, but he's an expert at avoiding eye contact.

  Caleb and Noah start talking about the hockey game playing on one of the bar's TVs and then an insanely large man with bone crushing muscles and dimples to swoon over taps Noah on the shoulder.

  "Guys, this is Levi. He's part of my security at the bar."

  We all say hello in unison and then Levi speaks with Noah in a deep, masculine voice. If I wasn't already in love with...well, if I wasn't already in love then I would be drooling all over this guy. He's gorgeous with his bald head and sexy dimples. "Sorry to interrupt, Noah, but I need you to take a look at something in the back. It will only take a second."

  Noah looks relieved as he excuses himself from the table. It's probably because he doesn't want to end up getting stuck talking with me. That's it. I've had enough. His silent treatment ends tonight because I can't handle another irritating minute of his muteness.

  "What a hottie," Kendall blurts out beside me. "I've never seen him before but I'm going to put in a request with Noah that Levi starts walking me out of work at night. I'd like to try him out."

  “Down, girl. As big and strong as he looks, I don't think he could handle you."

  "We'll see about that.” She winks back at me.

  Caleb is enthralled with the game so I excuse myself from the table, making an excuse about needing to use the washroom when what I really need to do is find Noah. We need to talk.

  Kendall's onto me. She smiles at me encouragingly and then begins talking hockey with Caleb. Poor Caleb. Growing up in Michigan I learned a lot about the game and played my fair share of it, and Kendall is getting the terminology all wrong.

  I walk to the back of the bar and into Club Desire. After circling around the back room twice, Noah is nowhere in sight. I walk over to his club office but the door is shut and the lights are off, and then I check the bathrooms and look back over at the bar, but he’s still nowhere.

  In a last stitch effort to find him so we can talk, I push through the doors of the kitchen and there he is, speaking with one of his cooks. My heels clang loudly against the floor, drawing his attention my way as his brown eyes find mine.

  We're still a good ten feet away from each other and there's a steel countertop between us when I ask, "Can we talk?"

  "There's nothing to talk about, Skye, and I'm working right now."

  I take a step towards him and my pelvis hits the steel edge of the counter. "Please, Noah. I need to apologize."

  He ignores my plea completely and finishes talking to the cook. I stand there patiently, waiting for him to finish. His only way out of the kitchen is to walk past me and through the swinging door so whether he likes it or not, he will talk to me.

  Noah picks up a tub of something and walks in the opposite direction of where I'm standing and into the back cooler. When he doesn't come out immediately I decide to follow him in there. He's not going to avoid me forever.

  "Miss, you can't go in there," the cook shouts from behind me but I ignore him and lift the handle on the heavy door and walk into the cooler. The heavy door closes hard behind me.

  "Are you going to ignore me forever?" I ask, while I watch him write something down on a clipboard that's attached to the back wall. The cold room causes me to shiver but I'm not going to let it stop me from having this conversation with him. He turns to face me, trying to mask his anger at me being back here, but he can't disguise his anger from me. His cheeks flush and his eyes dilate, and it turns me on to no end.

  "You can't be back here."

  "If you don't want me to be back here then you should kick me out."

  "You shouldn't be here, Skye. Go back upfront. Go be with your fiancé."

  "Don’t say that."

  "Don't say what? Fiancé? That's what he is, isn't he." His voice rises at the end of the sentence and I know he's doing everything in his power not to blow up at me right now.

  I take a step towards him, and then another one until I'm standing right in front of him in the back of the cooler. "Noah, I'm sorry." My words come out soft and gentle. I hesitantly lift my hand and place my palm flat on his chest. "I made a mistake, and I continue to make mistakes. It seems to be the only thing I'm good at."

  "I can think of one other thing you're good at," he remarks as his tone lightens and he smirks slyly at me.

  That night between us flashes before my eyes and I remember every kiss, every caress. I remember the way he felt against my body, and then the way he felt inside me. A rush of warmth travels through my body just thinking about how wonderful it was between us.

  "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just...I'm in love with you, Skye, and it's hard to be around you without thinking about what happened between us." He moves to take a step past me and I stop him by placing my other hand on his chest. I lean up and kiss his bare neck because I'm too short to reach any higher. A low groan escapes from deep in the back of his throat and then he leans down and our lips meet in a messy, passionate kiss.

  I shouldn't be doing this. I know better, but being with Noah like this feels right. It feels like the only way to apologize for everything I've put him through.

  His hands move around my body, up my back, and through my short blond hair, and then he's pulling on my colored tresses and my head falls back, exposing my neck to his lips.

  He brushes his lips against my tender skin, sucking and nipping my aroused flesh and then his mouth moves lower and his hands become more aggressive. He lowers the top of my strapless maroon dress, exposing my naked breasts and he kisses the small mounds of my breasts before sucking each nipple between his lips.

  I sigh out in appreciation and then my hands are on him as I quickly unfasten his jeans and push the material down his hips.

  The kisses quickly move from tender and passionate, to wild an
d frantic.

  Noah's mouth releases my flesh and then his hands grab the bottom of my dress as he pushes the material up around my waist. He grabs my ass with one hand and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and then we're moving backwards until the center of my back hits a hard cooler shelf.

  I ignore the pain as he sits me on the edge of the shelf and then he's pushing my thong to the side and feeding his cock to my waiting center, thrusting inside me with one quick push.

  "Noah," I scream out in pleasure as he fills me with his large erection, reminding me of exactly what I've been missing.

  His hand leaves the base of his cock and he quickly covers my mouth with his palm as his lips meet my ear and he whispers, "Be quiet or someone might hear us."

  I whimper against his hand in understanding as he pushes inside me again and then we're silently screwing, the only noises are the whimpers and groans we're both trying to suppress. Each thrust causes my thighs to twitch as I hold on to him, clutching the back of his shirt. He's bringing me closer and closer to feeling sated–something I haven't felt since the last time we were together.

  When Noah's confident I won't scream out again his hand falls from my mouth and is replaced with his lips. He kisses me hungrily and my lips tingle with every kiss and nip. Our tongues meet as his beard brushes against the skin under my chin and I try and cherish the taste of him, as we both grow closer to climax.

  This is what I need. This is what I've been missing this past month. Kendall was right. How can I give this up? How can I give Noah up?

  I wrap one of my hands around the back of his neck and pull at the hair there as my other hand maneuvers underneath me so I can massage his balls. His dick twitches inside me as I play with him and then his free arm wraps around my lower back and he pulls me even further into him, leaving no space between us. He groans and I can feel the tension in his body as he tries to hold off his orgasm.

  Him being so close to coming pushes me over the edge and I lean into his shoulder and bite down on his shirt as I scream out in climax, using his shirt to muffle the sound. Noah follows me with a few more pumps as he mumbles something against my neck.

  We're both panting, sweating, and completely sated as we come down from the immense pleasure we've experienced together. When he pulls out of me his cock is wet, covered in my juices and it has me wanting to drop down on my knees and lick both of our arousals off him. It's also a reminder that we didn’t use a condom. Actually, we've never used a condom, which shows how caught up I am in Noah because it's foolish not to wear protection.

  I slide off the shelf and adjust my dress, pulling it back in place. It's a wrinkled mess after our tryst, but my ruined dress was worth every second. We probably just broke a dozen health code violations.

  "What does this mean?" Noah asks me as he tucks his cock back in his pants and zips and fastens them up.

  "What do you mean?"

  "Did this mean something to you, Skye, or was it another meaningless fuck? Am I just something you use to get off?"

  How can he ask me that?

  I step into him and wrap my arms around his waist and then I lay my head on his chest. "This meant everything to me, Noah. I...I love you. I always have and I always will, but if you're asking if this changes anything, the answer is no. I made a promise to Caleb. I intend to keep it.”

  He wraps his arms around my back and holds me tight, unwilling to let go, which is fine because in this moment I never want him to let me go.

  "Why are you so loyal to him? If you love me why does it matter if you keep your promise to him?"

  How do I answer this in a way he'll understand when I don't think I completely understand my reasoning? I'm in love with Noah. This should be simple. But whether it's fear or blind loyalty, I know I won't leave Caleb.

  "I love him, too, Noah. It's not in the same way I love you. The truth is, he'll never compare, but I love him and he deserves better from me. I’m going to try and be better."

  I know I need to walk away right now. Caleb is out in the bar with my best friend, and he's probably wondering where I am and what's taking me so long. I need to go out there before he catches us together, before he finds out I've betrayed him, but I can't find enough courage to leave Noah's arms right now.

  "If I never introduced him to you, do you think we'd be together right now?"

  "We are together right now," I reply as my lips brush against his chest in a tender kiss between lovers.

  "We just had sex, Skye. That doesn't mean we're together. I don't have all of you because you're still with him. Let me clarify what I mean so there's no misunderstanding. If I didn't introduce you two, do you think we'd be married with a white picket fence, Kaya running around the backyard, and kids filling our home?"

  I hesitate to answer him honestly. If I lie, I'll hurt him, but the truth might hurt worse. "I'm not sure we were ever meant to be together, Noah, but back then it was what I wanted."

  "And now?"

  "And now I don't know what I want. What I do know is there is a man out front waiting for me, thinking he has a dependable, loving fiancée. I want to be that for him, so we can’t let this happen again."

  I pull away from his body. My eyes fall on the wet spot on his shirt where I just kissed his chest. "I need to go back out there, Noah. This shouldn't have happened...again. It's my fault. I take the blame, but tomorrow night's my engagement party. I need to be better than this."

  I start to walk towards the door to the cooler when Noah grabs my upper arm and turns me around, his lips crashing against mine. I don't even hesitate as I kiss him back in a brief but fervent kiss. When his lips leave mine he keeps his eyes closed and says, "Come over tonight."

  "What?" I whisper back. My thoughts are still focused on the warmth of his lips.

  "When Caleb goes to sleep come over tonight. If you're serious about us being over, about staying with Caleb, then come over tonight. Give me one more night."

  "Noah–" I start to reject his proposal but he cuts me off.

  "Just think about it. Please, shorty. I...If I can't have you, at least let me have a final goodbye. Don't let it be cheapened by the cooler in the back of my bar. It should be in my apartment, in my bed, where I can worship you and remember you the intimate way I should." He brushes his lips against mine one last time before releasing my arm. "Just think about it. I'll leave the front door unlocked."

  Turning my back on him, I walk out of the cooler, through the kitchen, and back out to the front of the bar. I refuse to look back, even though the urge was almost unbearable. If I had turned around and Noah was watching me, I would have never left the cooler. When I sit down at the table, Kendall looks over at me and winks knowingly before focusing back on Caleb.

  "So when does the third quarter start?"

  Caleb's eyes find mine and his face brightens as he mouths, "Thank God you're back." Then he answers Kendall. "It's not quarters, it's periods, Kendall. There are three periods in hockey and the third period will start any minute."

  Caleb takes a sip of his beer as one of his palms lands on my thigh under the table and gives it a loving squeeze.

  What am I doing? This man next to me is great. He's loving, and tender, and thoughtful, and gentle, and devoted, and he wants to marry me.

  ME!

  So why do I know that even though he's all of these great things, the minute he falls asleep tonight I'll be sneaking over to Noah's apartment?

  Chapter Eleven

  The first signs of morning light trickle in through the window of Noah's studio apartment, and it's a reminder that I need to go soon. I need to leave before Caleb wakes up and wonders where I am.

  Last night, after Caleb fell asleep, I snuck over to Noah's apartment and let myself in. We didn't say much the rest of the night and into the early morning hours, and let our bodies do the talking. He worshipped my body, showing me just how much he loved me, and reminding me how hard it is going to be to leave him... Now we're naked with our legs tangle
d together, the sheets a crumpled mess at the bottom of the bed. My fingers linger on his chest, playing gently with his soft chest hair as Noah sleeps peacefully underneath me.

  I wasn’t able to sleep at all last night. I couldn’t, knowing that this was it. Later today I'll be getting ready for my engagement party as I plan to marry another man. That plan seemed so reasonable when Caleb proposed. Now, I'm not so sure.

  Actually, nothing about this engagement seems right, but I just have to get through it. Once I'm married to Caleb it will all feel differently, and I'll no longer worry about if leaving Noah was a big mistake.

  So instead of sleeping when Noah fell asleep, I let the memories of the past several hours play over and over again in my mind. I tried to savor every moment, remembering finally getting to taste Noah's cock as he fucked my mouth, or when I changed positions and knelt over his face, drowning him in my pussy so we could pleasure each other at the same time.

  After satisfying the immediate need we had for each other, we took our time the rest of the night, making love slowly and cherishing the little time we had left together.

  I should leave now, before Noah wakes up and we have a long, drawn-out, and uncomfortable goodbye. Leaving that way will be for the best, but as I continue to play with his chest hair I can’t seem to get up from the bed.

  I'll give myself five more minutes to soak as much Noah in as I possibly can.

  My mind keeps going back to last night and how incredible he was. The things Noah does with his mouth...and his tongue. The way he makes me feel feverish with just a touch, and the yearning he creates inside me just by loving me back. I'll relive those hours for the rest of my life.

  But...

  We shouldn't have done it and we both know that. As much as I'd love to continue this with Noah for the rest of my life, we need things to go back to the way they were. I'm supposed to be with Caleb and I want to start earning the title of good wife. The memories of Noah's hands on me and being unable to think straight when he's inside me will have to be enough.