Heartless (The Raiford Chronicles)

by Janet Taylor-Perry

  Parker could hear his teeth chatter in the silence, but he couldn't force his mouth open to tell anyone how cold he was. And something still made him feel as if he were choking.

  Sheena! I have to wake up! Oh, beautiful Sheena. Oh, those are her lips on my skin. She's speaking to someone.

  A heavier weight was placed on top of Parker. Still he shivered. It's so cold here, but I think Sheena got me a blanket. Sheena, wait. Sheena, don't leave. Stay! I need you to stay.

  The strange beeping sounds are louder. No more wings. Echoing voices. An intercom voice.

  Oh, good. Ray's back. Parker desperately tried to open his eyes. Why won't my eyes cooperate? Ray? Where did you go? Don't leave. Come on, eyes! Open!

  Aunt Chris. So, understanding, so compassionate, so easy to talk to. Aunt Chris, wait. Don't leave.

  Patrick! Trista! I'll take you for a ride on my motorcycle. Patrick, wait. Trista, wait.

  It's still so cold here. Silence.

  Lindsay! Dupree! You're here all the way from California. Wow, you actually care about me.

  It's so cold here. Silence. Strange sounding beeps. Echoing voices. Cold. So cold, and still choking.

  What's that? Whose voice is that? Ray. Ray's here. Parker desperately tried to open his eyes. Why won't my eyes cooperate? Ray? Where did you go? Don't leave. Come on, eyes! Open!

  Uncle Raif? Where have you been? I owe you my life. I have to thank you. Uncle Raif, wait. Don't leave.

  It's so cold here. Silence. Strange sounding beeps. Echoing voices. Soft padding feet. Hushed whispering. Cold. So cold, and still choking.

  It's so cold here.

  Parker coded twice in the first twenty-four hours after surgery. At long last, he was moved to a private room on the intensive care floor. His body accepted the kidney transplant. Day after day visitors came, different ones, but always Ray. Still, Parker could not make his eyes open. Always he felt as if he were choking.

  ♥♥♥ Almost a month came and went. Parker remained unconscious. Dr. Stephenson talked honestly to Ray.

  "Ray, I don't think he's ever gonna wake up. Nonetheless, you have to make arrangements for long-term care if you intend to keep up this farce. We can't keep him here much longer. Long-term care will bankrupt your family. I'm sorry, Ray, but it's time to make some hard decisions. I think you need to take him off life support. Let him go." Dr. Stephenson left Ray alone with his son.

  Ray laid his head on Parker's chest. He could feel the soft, faint heartbeat. The heartbroken father sobbed and stroked Parker's brow. Almost inaudibly Ray said, "Oh, my sweet boy. How do I let you go? I just found you. That bullet was meant for me. It should've been me. Parker, I love you. Please, please, wake up. Open your eyes. Please, wake up and call me 'Daddy.' I love you so much."

  Ray stood and started for the door.

  It's so cold here. Silence. Wait. Wings, but far away. I'm trying to get back. I'm listening to you.

  No! Ray, wait. Don't leave. Come on, eyes! Open! Parker's brain raced. The strange sounding beeps grew louder. Come on, eyes. Open! Parker's eyes popped open. It's not cold any more.

  He wanted to scream, but there was something in his throat. I am choking. Daddy, wait. Don't leave. How do I get your attention? Parker's eyes darted around. He reached up. His arms were obeying. He knocked everything off the little stand beside the bed.

  Ray spun around. Parker reached out his hand. Ray flew back to the bed.

  Parker was frantic. I have to say it. He tried to pull the thing out of his throat.

  Ray held Parker's hands down and hollered for help. Several nurses ran in.

  Ray talked to his son. "Relax, Parker. You're all right. You're safe. Relax. I'm right here. I won't leave you."

  The doctor on duty came in. "Give him a sedative, ten milligrams valium," he ordered the nurse by the bed.

  "No!" asserted Ray. "He doesn't need a sedative. He wants the tubes out. He's scared. Parker, stop!" Ray said with authority.

  Parker stopped fighting as he realized Ray understood. The doctor said, "Okay. Relax, kid. We'll take the respirator out."

  Dr. Stephenson came in. "Step away, everybody," he ordered. Dr. Stephenson approached Parker. Blue eyes staring at the doctor spoke volumes. He said gently, but firmly, "Parker, you have to relax. I know you're scared. I need your help to take out the ventilator. Do you understand? Nod your head."

  Parker nodded.

  "Okay, when I pull, I need you to cough. Ready?"

  A couple of yanks and coughs later, that tube was out, but there was another thing. Parker reached up.

  Dr. Stephenson grabbed his hand. "Parker, there's another tube. It's your feeding tube. We need to do the same thing again. Ready?"

  That felt awful coming out, but it's out. Parker immediately tried to speak. Nothing came out. God! How my throat hurts!

  "Parker!" commanded Dr. Stephenson. "Stop. You won't be able to talk for a couple of days. Your throat will be sore. Boy! I'm so glad you proved me wrong."

  Parker looked frantically at Ray. Ray nodded. "Give him pencil and paper. Let him write it. He's dying to say something."

  A nurse scurried to bring writing supplies. She handed them to Parker. He looked at his father.

  Ray encouraged, "Write what you want to say."

  Parker wrote on the paper and held his arms out to Ray. Ray's body shook with silent sobs as he gathered Parker in an embrace and sat on the bed. After several minutes, Ray pulled back and wiped the tears from Parker's face and pushed his hair from his eyes. "What did you want to say?" he asked shakily. He took the notepad. One word appeared—"Daddy."

  "Oh," sighed Ray. He pulled Parker's head back onto his shoulder and kissed him on the head. "I love you, Parker," he whispered.

  Parker wrote again, "I love you, Daddy."

  "Okay," interrupted Dr. Stephenson. "Parker, we have a little more tubing and wires to take out. Will you let your dad leave for a few minutes? He can go call everybody else."

  "I'll be back," assured Ray. Parker held tightly to Ray's hand. "I'll be back," Ray reiterated a bit more firmly. Parker let go.

  Ray walked into the hallway and started with Larkin. "He's awake!"

  "The kids and I will be there in half an hour," she squealed with excitement.

  Ray went down his phone list. Dr. Stephenson came out of Parker's room. "Tough kid!" he exclaimed. "Can I expect the horde in a little while?"

  "Yes," laughed Ray.

  "Okay. I wish I were a part of this family. Get back in there before he tries to walk out here. I've removed everything except the colostomy tube and the I.V. I'll have to at least give him a spinal before I take out the colostomy tube. It will require a couple of stitches. Christmas is in three days. If he manages to keep down food, and go to the bathroom both ways, I'll let him go home for Christmas. I'm ordering him a liquid diet today. I'll add cream soups tomorrow."

  When Dr. Stephenson left, Ray went back into the room. Parker sat up in bed. "Well, are you ready to run a race already?" joked Ray.

  Parker wrote, "Mom?"

  "What about her?"

  "Is she dead?"

  "No, Parker. She's in jail. She has a hearing after Christmas. I'm gonna do everything I can to help her. I'm gonna recommend that she be committed to a mental institution so she can get the help she needs. She hasn't spoken a word besides, 'Parker,' since the day you were shot."

  Parker wrote, "Thanks. No matter what she's done, I still love her. She's my mother."

  "I know. That's why I'm helping her—for you because you love her and I love you."

  Parker nodded and then wrote, "How is Uncle Raif?"

  "He's fine. He's already running again, only one mile, but he's running."

  "Where's Larkin?" was Parker's next question.

  "On her way here."

  "Sheena?"

  Ray laughed. "She's on her way, too. She really likes you."

  "I really like her."

  "So, tell her."

  "I will."

&n
bsp; "You're gonna get writer's cramp."

  Parker laughed, but no sound came out.

  Ray became serious. "Parker, did the Byrds beat you badly enough to damage your kidneys?"

  Parker shook his head and wrote, "First, Mrs. Byrd never beat me. Mr. Byrd beat her. She was too afraid to fight back for herself, let alone me—or any other kid. The kidney must've happened in juvey. A gang jumped me in the showers. The guards didn't stop it. I lost consciousness, and my back hurt for days."

  "Okay. I will see something is done about that. Now, how did you know about Uncle Raif?"

  "I could hear everything, but I couldn't wake up. I tried."

  "I believe you. When I lost my kidney, I died twice. God talked to me and sent me back."

  "Did you hear large wings flapping? Did I die?"

  "You coded twice, and, yes, I did. Angels, I guess."

  "Dragons?"

  Ray rumpled his hair. "Don't tell anyone that. They'll think you're nuts. Did a voice tell you to come back?"

  Parker nodded, and then wrote, "At least God and not Satan spoke to you."

  "Smartass!" laughed Ray.

  Larkin walked in. "Stop calling my boy names."

  Parker held his arms out to Larkin. She smothered him with hugs and kisses. "Welcome back, precious."

  Christopher and Courtney rushed in. Both engulfed Parker. Parker squeaked, "Ow!" The children let go, realizing Parker was still in some pain.

  Before and hour was up, Parker's room was filled with loved ones. Even with every member of his family there, Parker's attention turned immediately to the blonde-haired, green-eyed female who walked in.

  "My, my," joked Ray. "Yes, I'd say someone is gonna make a full recovery. Hey, everybody, we need to give Parker some time alone. Out!"

  Sheena sat down on the side of Parker's bed as soon as the others left. "Hey," she said.

  Parker wrote, "I can't talk. The doctor said it would take a couple of days."

  Laughing, she said, "We don't need lots of words." She leaned forward and put her lips on his. After a long, sensuous kiss, Sheena laid Parker's head on her chest and stroked his hair as she cooed, "Don't ever leave me again, Parker Reynolds."

  Parker rested in Sheena's embrace for a long time feeling a comfort he had never known. This is where I belong. After a time, Parker lifted his head. With his finger, he traced every inch of Sheena's face, ending with her lips before he kissed her again. Then, he wrote on his notepad, "I love you."

  "Oh," breathed Sheena. "Oh, Parker, I can't wait to hear your voice say that to me. I love you, too."

  ♥♥♥ Christmas morning, Parker had met all the criteria to go home. The house was ablaze with its regular Christmas decorations—garland and holly around porch posts, icicle lights dangling and sparkling in the crisp breeze. Parker had never seen anything so lovely. Walking inside only got better with the holiday aromas of cinnamon and pine. A huge tree with multi-colored lights and delicate ornaments offset the fireplace which held draped garland and stockings with names on handcrafted stocking hangers.

  Before any festivities began, Larkin handed Parker his ornament. "You have to hang it," she explained. "The tree isn't complete without you."

  Parker hung his ornament as close to his father's as he could. Then, they opened what seemed hundreds of gifts.

  After the intimate family morning, once again the house was filled with family, friends, and food, but not as many as for Thanksgiving. However, Larkin would only let Parker eat the soft food per doctor's orders for at least a week. Parker devoured the mashed potatoes, Jell-O, apple sauce she'd made just for him, and the center of the deviled eggs without any relish in it.

  After lunch when all the guests had left, Parker found Ray watching football. He was still hoarse when he spoke. "Daddy?"

  "What?" asked Ray, enjoying hearing his son call him "Daddy."

  "I have two requests. One you won't mind. The other will probably make you mad."

  "What do you want?"

  "First, I'd like to see Uncle Raif's village."

  "Not a problem. What else?"

  "I wanna see Mom."

  "Why?"

  "I don't know. I just need to."

  "All right."

  "You're not mad?"

  "No. I actually understand." He turned off the TV with the remote. "I take it you want to go now so you can be back before Sheena comes later."

  "Yes, sir."

  "Okay. We'll go see Mia first. Get your jacket."

  ♥♥♥ The guards brought Mia Godchaux into the interrogation room where Parker waited. She was shackled hand and foot. Ray waited on the other side of the two-way mirror. The second the door opened the temperature plummeted twenty degrees. Ray did not turn on the intercom, but watched the silent communication. He could see both their breaths frosting the air. Jesus, help me protect my son. This is a spiritual battle.

  Mia looked at Parker in disbelief. "Parker?"

  "Yes, Mom."

  Mia wagged her head. "Parker's dead. I killed my beautiful

  baby." She started to cry.

  "I'm not dead, Mom. I'm right here."

  Still sobbing, Mia said, "I'm sorry. You're such a beautiful

  boy. I'm sorry I killed you."

  "Mom, I'm alive." "Of course, you are. You're a beautiful angel living in Heaven. Did God let you come see me? I'm going to Hell, you know. You won't be able to see me there. Angels don't go to Hell. I miss you, Parker. I love you so much. Tell God I'm sorry."

  Parker took his mother's hand. It was ice cold. "I love you, too, Mom. I'll come see you, but you have to tell God you're sorry yourself. 'Bye, Mom."

  Parker met Ray in the hall. Ray asked, "Are you all right?" Parker nodded, his face stained with tears. "You're gonna get her committed, right?"

  "Yes, day after tomorrow."

  "Can I be at the hearing?"

  "If you want to be."

  "I do."

  "Okay."

  "Now, I want to see Uncle Raif's village. I'll be more grown up in two days. I'd like to be a kid right now. I've never been a kid."

  "Parker, I love you no matter what." Ray wiped the tears from his son's cheeks with his thumbs.

  "I know, Daddy. I love you, too."

  "It feels good to hear you say that."

  "Does it? Well, I plan to say it out loud to Sheena tonight. I love her. I hope it lasts forever through all kinds of things like you and Momma."

  Ray widened his eyes.

  "Yeah, I want Larkin to be my momma."

  "That's the best Christmas gift you could give her. Let's go."

  ♥♥♥ The guard brought Mia out as Parker and Ray walked down the hall with the man's arm around the boy's shoulders. Mia whispered conspiratorially, "That's my son. I love him."

  "That's nice," replied the guard.

  "That's his daddy. I love him, too."

  The guard said nothing but shivered in the iciness that suddenly enveloped him.

  ♥♥♥ After a stop to see Raif's Victorian Christmas village, Ray brought his son home. "That was awesome," Parker said and collapsed on the sofa for a long nap before he had company.

  Sheena rang the door chimes at the Reynolds's home at seven. Ray looked at his watch and, then, at Parker's face. "Punctual, isn't she?" Ray teased. "Go answer the door. I'm sure you'd like to use the mistletoe hanging in the foyer."

  Parker moved slowly because he was tender from surgery and he had half a dozen stitches in his abdomen. He opened the door with a cheerful, "Merry Christmas!"

  "Merry Christmas," Sheena replied.

  Parker pulled her about two feet into the foyer. He winked. "You're under the mistletoe."

  "Oh, my!" She put a hand to her chest. "Then, you must

  kiss me for no one else is present."

  "No one else needs to be kissing my girl," said Parker.

  Then, he kissed Sheena passionately.

  "Mmm," sighed Sheena. "Where did you learn to do that?" "It's natural talent. Let's sit down, pl
ease." They entered the

  living room holding hands.

  "Merry Christmas!" Sheena greeted the rest of the family to

  echoes of the same. She presented gifts to everyone present and

  some to be delivered to those not present and received a gift

  and gifts to take back to her family. Larkin handed Sheena a

  small box, saying, "This one is from Parker."

  Sheena laughed. "We both know Parker hasn't been able to

  go shopping."

  "No, but I read his mind." Larkin winked.

  Parker encouraged, "Let's see what I thought."

  The box contained heart-shaped dangling diamond

  earrings. Parker nodded, "I would've picked those out." "They're beautiful," said Sheena. "Thank you. Yours isn't

  that extravagant." Sheena handed Parker a box. Inside was a

  leather motorcycle jacket.

  "This is great!" exclaimed Parker. "I can't wait to try it

  out."

  "That will be several more weeks," said Ray

  authoritatively.

  "Yes, sir," agreed Parker.

  The family made small talk for a while before Ray

  challenged Christopher and Courtney to a round-robin ping

  pong tournament.

  "This I have to see," said Larkin. Albert and Dorothy, who

  were there until the next day, agreed. Parker knew it was a ruse

  to give him time alone with Sheena.

  "Not too discreet, was he?" asked Sheena.

  "No." Parker laughed. "Let me show you what he gave me

  before I took you to the movie." Parker pulled out his wallet

  and opened it.

  "Oh, my God!" squealed Sheena. "Does he think?" "No," Parker preempted the question. "They're just in case

  somewhere down the road, you know."

  "Parker, do you want to?"

  "I'd be lying if I said, 'No,' but it's not a top priority. Not

  yet. I never have."

  "Me either."

  "Then, let's keep it that way and wait for each other.

  Sheena, I love you. I don't mean puppy love or a crush. I truly

  love you."

  "Parker, are we too young to know that?"

  "No. You're my first love, and I hope my only love.