Daunting Decisions

by Kip Nelson

  “Understand what? Tell me, Diana! Let me in!”

  Diana choked on her sobs. Her vision went bleary through the tears and the sadness all came out. She'd been holding it in for so long, wanted to be strong for Annabelle, wanted to prove to everyone else she wasn't weak, but this was too much.

  “She's here. Emily is here.”

  “Who? Who is Emily?”

  “My sister. I pulled her here, dragged her because she was injured. This was our only hope. I had to get her help, but there were so many people and we couldn't get through. Then we were pushed and pulled, and I tried holding onto her, tried telling her everything was going to be okay. Then I was on the floor. There was darkness. I didn't know where I was. I pushed myself up, but Emily...I'd lost her. By the time I found her it was too late. She's here, she's one of these skeletons,” Diana said, and then crumbled as she wept.

  Adam leaned down and put his arm around her. He knew then what he needed to do. He lifted her and guided her back to the hospital. The others tried telling him he wasn't finished, but they soon were silenced by his glare. He didn't know what to say to Diana, so for once he kept his mouth shut. He took her to a seat and found a vending machine that still had some candy in it. He bashed it until a chocolate bar fell out.

  “You just stay here and I'm going to go out and finish it myself. You shouldn't be out there,” he said, and left her alone.

  He strode out himself and took on the rest of the burden. He worked as quickly as he could, ignoring the aching pain from his throbbing muscles, wiping the sweat away from his face, clearing the dead bodies from the outside of the hospital. He ignored the other men helping him as well. They were slow, he was fast. He hauled the bodies more quickly than they did, and even when they offered to help he shrugged them off with a grunt. When his gloves ripped he got new ones, and with each bone that was placed in the container he felt a little sadder, but he kept going until there were no more bodies left. Only then did he rest.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When it was all over he looked at the empty ground around him, where all the skeletons had been. There still were a few errant bones, a few stray pieces of cloth that whirled around in the cold winter breeze. Goosebumps prickled over Adam's arm and sweat glistened across his body, making his clothes cling to his skin. The air stung his lungs and he craved some water. His throat was dry and scratchy. His head ached, as did his heart. He just literally had cleared up a graveyard, and though he had been wearing rubber gloves, he could not forget about the feeling of the bones in his hands, turning them over, feeling their smoothness.

  All of them were gone now, soon to be incinerated. One of them had been Diana's sister. There were so many questions he had for her and part of him regretted the way he had acted around her. He should have known there had been some tragedy in her past. Everyone had one, but why did she have to be so damned cold all the time? If she just would let him in, he could talk to her about it. Maybe they could reach a point where they trusted each other completely.

  He took a deep breath and almost sank to his knees as he wheeled the last container back to the hospital. It was almost all over. Soon he could get the medicine back to the camp and begin his plan for revenge, but after seeing so much death it all seemed so hollow. He was the only person left who cared about Clark, really, but what good would it do? He was tired and aching all over, and his soul was weighed down, anchored with the grisly fate of death. So many people had passed beyond the veil of life. Why was he still there? Why were any of them?

  The people waiting for him at the hospital entrance congratulated him on a job well done, patting him on the back, but he had lost all respect for them. They'd made him do this because they were too weak, too frail, but it was their job to take care of their home. They had chosen to give the skeletons beds, to leave them around the hospital. Was it so bad to leave a pile of skeletons outside? He pushed past them, not wanting to engage them in conversation. He went to Diana, who was looking morose, still sitting where he had left her.

  The candy bar had been finished and the wrapper hung loosely from her fingers. She stared vacantly into space. Adam paused for a few moments and looked at her in a new light. Since they first met he had seen her as a strong woman, someone intimidating who should not be messed with at all. She'd had a strong sense of her purpose in life, and Adam had been scared of her. Although seeing her in this state made him feel closer to her, as though they had more of a bond. He wasn't sure how long she had been holding everything inside, but it must have been a long time.

  “Diana, I've finished,” he said softly. She looked at him and blinked away her tears, then sniffed and wiped her eyes. Instantly, she changed into the woman he was used to seeing. He wondered how much he knew of her had been an act, and how much had been the truth.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I'm fine. Let's get out of here,” she said brusquely, pushing past him.

  He pressed his lips together in frustration and clenched his fists. He turned his head toward her to watch her walk away from him, shaking his head, wondering if he ever was going to be trusted by her. She'd told him an intimate secret, but now she was nothing more than a stranger.

  Adam was pleased to see that Peter and Annabelle were fine, and were waiting for them. Annabelle was more subdued than usual. Adam wondered if it was just that they were in a hospital, or if there was something else going on, something about her parents. At least the bond between her and Diana made more sense now. It made sense that Diana was so protective of Annabelle if Diana had lost her sister, for she would want to make amends with Annabelle.

  “Thank you for doing that,” Davey said, “but there is something else.”

  “What now?” Adam said, tired and thirsty and hungry. Peter noticed this and brought him some water. Adam unscrewed the bottle and gulped down the clear liquid, feeling his throat soothed almost immediately.

  “We were talking while you went away and we're not entirely sure about this camp of yours. You seem like nice people, and I don't want to be the type to mistrust you. I honestly wish we all could be friends, but I have all these people to think about.”

  “I really don't know what you're talking about.”

  “You've seen us. You've been in here. If you wanted, if you have as many people as you claim, you easily could come back here and try taking everything else.”

  Adam looked at him, confused. “Are you kidding me?! We have weapons. We could have done that at any time! We had no idea you were here, and I don't think any of us want to come back here.”

  “I'm just saying that, in case you do, you'd better think twice. I'm not a threatening man, but there are diseases here that we could expose anyone to if they threaten us.”

  “Davey,” Adam said, having taken over the diplomatic duties from Diana, “are you really threatening us with biological warfare?”

  “I'm just warning you that they're there, just in case you get any funny ideas. I don't want to be that person, but sometimes you have to change when the world changes.”

  “Can we go now?” Adam said, looking surly. Davey clasped his hands together, looked at his allies, and nodded.

  “You may,” he said, handing over the bag.

  With that their task was completed and the four of them made their way out of the hospital. They left through the main entrance since there weren't any dead bodies blocking their way. The stench of death still hung around, though, and Adam wondered if the place would be forever cursed. He always had been a man of science, never believing in spirituality or faith, but already since the world went dark he found himself praying to God. He hoped there was something else at work in the world. There couldn't be so much death that meant nothing. The world was black with death, and when he looked back at the area he had cleared he swore to himself he saw shadows dancing in the dark.

  The evening was setting in, and with it brought the cold of the night. Perhaps they should have asked to stay in the hospital, so they actua
lly had some shelter, but as they trudged away nobody felt they were safe there. Adam liked hospitals even less than he had in the old world. His mind was heavy, and since nobody else was talking he did not try breaking the silence either. He looked at Peter and offered a small smile. He didn't know what the other two were thinking.

  His heart had gone out to Diana. He wished the two of them had a better relationship so he could talk to her about it, but he doubted if she wanted to do so. She only had shown him her true face in a moment of weakness, and that was most likely the only glimpse she ever would give him. She was back to her icy exterior, the stone face that betrayed no emotion. Adam envied her for being able to project such an aura of calm, but he knew that in the end she only was causing herself undue anguish. Then there was Annabelle. Ever since they had entered the hospital she hadn't been herself. Adam wanted to talk to her, but he figured it was probably something Diana should do, seeing as how they were so close...Yet, given what he had learned about Diana, was she even prepared to have that conversation?

  The more time he spent with these people the more he became aware of the dynamics that initially had been hidden. It seemed that Peter was the most level-headed of the four. All of the tragedy in his life had happened years ago. Presumably, if he could make it through that, then he could make it through anything. Adam had a new-found respect for him.

  The bag was heavy on Adam's shoulders. He still hadn't had a proper rest from the afternoon's exertion, so his muscles were aching badly. He was in serious need of a rest. They all knew there was no way they were going to make it back to the camp that night, for none of them were confident of walking through the city in the dead of night. It was too cold for one thing. Already the chill was setting in, and Adam could feel it under his skin. As soon as they were able, they made their way to a building and hunkered down for the night, finding anything that could be used as blankets. As he looked out of the window he was glad that things like double-glazed windows still existed, and sturdy brick foundations. He felt like an idiot for ever thinking he could have made it through the winter out in the elements. He wrapped his blanket around himself and looked down at the large bag of drugs. Lisa had sent him to get them and he had delivered. Tomorrow he would return with them and prove he could be a good addition to their community. Then he would learn how they worked. He would see Lee and, one day, he would make him pay for what he had done to Clark.

  It wasn't much to live for, but it was something. That was what Adam needed at that moment, a reason to continue, something to focus on other than the inevitable death that waited for him. Never before in his life had he been so aware of his own mortality. When he had a job he was able to focus on that, and in the evenings he could lose himself in fantasy worlds, and live vicariously through his heroes.

  No longer.

  He only had his own life, and his own choices.

  The room was pitch black. On that night the clouds covered the moon and the stars. Everything was quiet outside. Sometimes he heard the howling of a wild animal, or the scurrying sounds of a rodent's feet moving through the city, but other than that it was deathly quiet. As he fell asleep he thought about the rest of the city and how they were handling all of this. Then his mind turned to the rest of the country, and the rest of the world. He wondered if he ever would know what happened outside of Opal City again. Some people had left the city to try finding a safe place. Did one even exist? In his mind he thought about a new place, a wonderful warm place with friendly people, a safe place with food and water in abundance...a paradise. This place comforted him as the day’s exhaustion took hold of his body and submerged him, bathing him into sleep as his heavy eyes closed and his breathing grew deeper, and then he was gone...

  ...Only to wake up in the middle of the night. His eyes darted around as he jerked up, peering into the darkness, but he could see nothing. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. Even then, his view was limited to seeing the outlines of his companions, but his ears could hear everything. At first, he was afraid someone had come to attack them, but as he woke he became aware of sobbing. His first thought was that it was Diana, but the more he listened the more he came to realize it was the sobbing of a child.

  “Annabelle?” he whispered softly. The sobbing stopped, and he knew it had to be her.

  “Annabelle, what's wrong?” he asked.

  “I...can't...sleep,” she said through heavy breaths. Adam did not have much experience with children. So, he thought about waking Diana, but she needed her rest, too. He was the only one Annabelle had in that moment and he had to step up.

  “Are you scared?” he asked.

  “No,” she said in a small voice.

  “Then why are you crying?” he said, but his question was met with silence. “Is it something to do with the hospital?” Again...silence. “Annabelle, you have to talk to me because I can't see you in the darkness.”

  “It was the hospital,” she said.

  “What about it?”

  “I don't know...those skeletons, I guess. They looked like monsters. Daddy always said he would protect me from the monsters and that I didn't need to be afraid. But he's not here anymore. I miss him, and Mom, too. I miss them both.”

  Adam's heart went out to her. He had no idea what she was going through because he never had been that close with his parents. “I'm sorry,” he said.

  “I'm sure they miss you too, wherever they are,” he said, feeling like it was an empty platitude, but that it was something applicable whether they were alive or dead. Annabelle sniffed.

  “Do you want to talk about them?” he asked.

  “No,” came the sobbed reply.

  “What happened to them?” he asked.

  “I don't know,” Annabelle wailed. Then her words were engulfed in sobs.

  Adam didn't know what to do, so he did the only thing that seemed natural; he shifted his body over to her and wrapped her up in his arms, trying to make her feel as safe as possible. He held her trembling body tightly and felt a surge of responsibility he'd never felt before. He kissed her head and stroked her back, trying to ease the pain because it wasn't fair that one so young, so innocent, should be subjected to such harsh feelings. He stayed like that, rocking back and forth, until she fell asleep again, the tears finally subsiding. Adam stayed awake and made sure she was kept tight and warm, until the hours passed and he too slipped into his dreams.

  Chapter Eighteen

  When the morning sun rose, it did not bring with it any warmth at all. Adam was the first to wake, with Annabelle still in his arms. He looked down at the girl, whose eyes were closed, and was glad she had managed to get some rest at least. His head was aching and his muscles still throbbed with pain from the previous day’s exertions. He turned his head to look at the misty morning. The sun barely broke through the clouds and he sighed as another day began.

  He shifted his weight and Annabelle stirred, a small moan escaping her lips as he set her down to where she had been sleeping before. He pressed a hand to her cheek, taking on her pain as his own. He wanted to keep her safe, to protect her, and for the first time he was feeling the responsibility of parenthood. It always had been something he had shied away from. He liked his life and wanted to keep it as free of responsibility as possible, but looking at Annabelle...the way she trusted him with her feelings and clung to him for safety through the night was something he never had experienced before. It filled him with a sense of purpose and well-being. It was one of the few things that calmed the sea that raged within him.

  Adam rose and stretched his muscles, trying to piece together the next part of his plan. It all depended on Lisa accepting them into that community, but seeing as how they had brought back everything she'd asked for, he didn't see it as being a problem. Then he'd have to work on bringing Lee down. He didn't know how, but he was determined to do it. That man was going to pay for everything he had done.

  One by one, the others began stirring. Adam smiled at them and said g
ood morning. Peter was the only one who was in anything like good spirits, though. Diana was acting as though she was hungover and barely looked at him. He wondered if she was ashamed she had opened up to him in the way she had, which only hurt him. He wasn't a bad guy and was tired of Diana treating him like he was one. Annabelle still was somewhat subdued, but now that she had some of the sadness was out of her system, she was starting to get like her old self again. She smiled at Adam too, and hugged him when she awoke, which provoked a surprised response from Diana. Adam didn't know if he and Annabelle ever would talk about her parents, but he wanted to be there in case she ever needed him again.

  They got some food out of the backpacks and shared breakfast, again in silence. Adam didn't particularly like the silence, but he wasn't going to force breaking it. They all would talk again naturally. Sometimes these silences happened anyway. It was impossible to talk about something all the time, and Adam always had been comfortable in silence at any rate.

  The food was barely enough to fill their stomachs. As they ate, Adam's eyes glanced around the room. He looked at the picture of a family and thought about how they usually would have been eating breakfast at the table together, talking about the day ahead, worrying about things like bills and what they were going to have for dinner. He liked to think they still were out there somewhere, still alive, but he knew the chances of that were slim. After they had finished eating they rose. Adam slung the heavy bag over his shoulders once more and felt his body sag under the weight. Each footstep was heavy, and he welcomed the moment when he returned to the camp.

  They wrapped their jackets tightly around themselves and moved at a good pace to combat the morning chill. The city was desolate. Once again, they did not encounter anything on their way back to the camp, although their hands were always at the ready to use their weapons. Adam was glad he had not had a reason to use his knife, but part of him was curious to see how good Annabelle was with her bow. They still were an hour or two out from the camp, and by this point Adam was starting to get tired of the silence. He knew he could have spoken to Peter or Annabelle, but it was Diana who was on his mind. His gaze kept drifting toward her. He hated that her opinion of him meant so much to him, but he couldn't change that. He moved to get closer to her.