Compelled

by Shawntelle Madison

  “Nothing is simple in the world of magic,” Dr. Frank said with a sad smile. “But yes, we do have something. We’re holding out hope that our brothers on Stolobny Island can escape and teach us what they’ve learned.”

  I approached Dr. Frank, hope renewed. Wilhelm materialized next to us. “Please tell me you’re not joking. The wizards know a spell to remove a death curse.”

  Dr. Frank nodded. “But there’s no way to reach them, Natalya. The warlocks have surrounded them and any wizard who approaches the island is left weaponless. Those who get too close are slaughtered.”

  My mouth opened to speak, but I didn’t know what to say. What could I do to help them? I searched my mind for anything, but couldn’t think straight.

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” Thorn touched my face. He must have sensed my unease. “You can only do so much.”

  “No,” I said firmly. “I can do anything.” I faced Dr. Frank. “What if I found someone—something that could punch a hole in the defenses? If I helped them, would you help me?”

  Dr. Frank’s face reflected pity, and I hated it. “I can’t help you, Natalya, but there’s a chance the elders would grant you an audience if you can bring help from the local werewolves to the frontlines.”

  There was no way the werewolves would come. I wasn’t dominant enough to gather rival packs together. Thorn wasn’t in any shape to do that either. Just knowing my goal was insurmountable made me want to throw up, but I breathed through the moment and spoke the first thing that came to mind.

  “I will find a way,” I promised Dr. Frank. “I don’t know how, but the one thing I have on my side is stubborn determination.”

  “You’re a good person, Natalya. You should stay away from Cato and his darklings. You can’t miss him. He’s a tall man with red hair and eyes. It would be even better if you returned home as soon as possible.” Dr. Frank turned to Wilhelm. “Offer them assistance to go wherever they wish.” He patted me on the shoulder and vanished before I could say goodbye.

  Wilhelm looked us over before he spoke again. “You two are quite the pair.”

  “We’ve been through a lot. It’s hard to explain,” I said.

  Wilhelm chuckled. “I’ll say. One of you is like a black hole getting sucked away into nothingness, while the other one glows bright enough to blind me. I’d like to ask why, but I have a feeling you’re not going to tell me.” The man glanced at me.

  Thorn grunted. “No, she’s not going to say a damn thing.”

  I had a past record of running my mouth. Thorn had learned his lesson long ago.

  One of the other wizards stepped forward. “I can heal either of you,” he offered.

  What ailed Thorn was beyond any of them, but I’d let him try. Before Thorn could refuse, I said, “Could you give him a bit of strength? He’s weak from a long journey.”

  My husband’s pride rose to the top of the trees around here, but he couldn’t refuse me when I gave him the face. If you’re married, or have someone you love, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the I-care-about-you-and-will-make-you-feel-guilty-to-no-end-if-I-don’t-get-my-way face.

  The wizard who wanted to help materialized in front of Thorn. He touched his shoulder, and then pulled back. “What happened to you?”

  “It’s a long story,” Thorn whispered.

  “I suspect.” He grasped Thorn’s arm. “I can’t reverse the effects, but I can give you the strength to reach your final destination tonight.”

  While one of Wilhelm’s cohorts healed Thorn, another wizard stepped up to me to offer the same. It felt weird getting healed by someone other than Nick or Dr. Frank. The feeling was just as good though—hands down, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were junkies who enjoyed getting healed by wizards.

  By the time the man let me go, I felt ready to take on the world. “You didn’t need much,” the man said. “You’re quite strong.”

  “I wish I was,” I replied

  He gave me an expression I didn’t understand, but I smiled politely.

  “Where are you headed?” he asked.

  “To a village across the border called Nuijamaa. The Yhdeksän Männyt Pack will hopefully give us sanctuary.”

  Wilhelm spoke to the others. “I’ll make this quick. Report back to base.”

  The others vanished as Wilhelm took Thorn’s hand and mine. “This will be a rough ride, since I normally don’t do this spell with passengers.”

  Before I could even agree to the free ride, we were whisked away in a blur of white dancing lights.

  And plopped back into another place in mid-air. We landed hard on a riverbank and missed falling into the water by a few feet.

  I was the lucky one to land on my head. Based on past experiences, this was a spot I couldn’t seem to avoid in terms of trouble.

  I groaned. “I thought wizards couldn’t teleport long distances.”

  “The town isn’t that far away. About two miles from where my friends met you.” He rubbed his side as if he’d fallen hard on it. With a scowl, he dusted off his pants. “I’m not sure where you’ll find the alpha.”

  “We’ll manage just fine from here,” Thorn said.

  My mate probably already had a scent. The whole place reeked of werewolves. As to which one was the alpha, would take me a bit of time.

  The man lingered for a moment. “I’m sorry there’s nothing we can do to help you.” A range of emotions crossed his face. One of them was regret. “We’ll do our best to save the trapped wizards to the south, and we hope you’ll do the same.”

  Chapter 14

  After nearly a month at Tamara’s farm near Vyborg, my path to finding help for Thorn seemed muddied and unclear. Thorn and I walked into Nuijamaa, glancing furtively around us. Not a single sign made sense since we were in Finland.

  “Do you know Finnish?” I asked quietly.

  Thorn took my hand and rubbed the palm. “We’ll be fine. I can already smell the pack that lives here.”

  That was obvious, but as to how we’d find them was another story.

  “This place is so beautiful,” Thorn said.

  On that, I had to agree. This far up north, there was more forest than man-made structures. With a single inhale, I caught evergreen and spruce trees. It smelled almost like New Jersey when you went deep into Double Trouble State Park near South Toms River. I used to run there with the pack before I was kicked out that summer, an event that Rex loved to bring up all the time.

  “I’ve heard that many Scandinavians know English. We should be fine once we reach a business.”

  I nodded, checking my phone. The cell was long dead. All the time I’d spent checking the GPS had drained the battery.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked him when I heard his stomach growl.

  “I’ll be fine. How are you holding up?” He gave me a reassuring smile.

  “Other than the fact I had a helluva night?”

  “We’re alive. That’s a blessing.”

  And we were together, I thought to myself.

  Nuijamaa couldn’t even be called a small town. Our hometown was a metropolis compared to this place.

  On the paved road we followed, we came to a set of red ranch-style buildings right off the street. My nose told me there had to be a restaurant nearby, maybe a home or two.

  “Could this qualify as a honeymoon?” Thorn asked out of the blue.

  I couldn’t contain my laughter. “This is the most jacked up honeymoon ever. You owe me the Virgin Islands after I save your hairy butt.”

  “The Virgin Islands? I’ll have to remember that.”

  We didn’t go anywhere after we were mated. It was for the best. I needed to recover from the fight of my life, and Thorn had too many pack responsibilities to handle. The pack needed money and the only way to make that was to work toward getting pack members with income. And South Toms River wasn’t exactly a billionaire mecca.

  Speaking of money.

  “Do you have any money?” I asked him as
we walked up to place with a sign I couldn’t read.

  “I have some, but it’s rather useless, since it’s not the local currency.”

  I reached for the doorknob, but someone approached us from around the corner. He walked with caution, looking over Thorn and me with curiosity.

  When he was close enough, he waved and spoke English. Based on the man’s scent, he wasn’t the alpha, but he was dominant enough to qualify as someone with ranking. He introduced himself as Jorge and we told him our names.

  Once we had a brief chat, he told us to follow him. After walking for hours, I welcomed some rest in Jorge’s home. Also his mate knew a bit of English and kindly offered us clean clothes, food, and a place to sleep. Since she was expecting her first child, she let me pick whatever clothes I wanted. As much as the thought of wearing someone else’s clothes bothered me, I wanted to burn what I had on—other than my jacket, which was still in pretty good shape. Anyway, our host’s clothes smelled clean, and that was good enough for me.

  My new attitude was a welcomed change compared to a year ago when I would’ve collapsed on the floor, twitching with stress. My reflection in the bathroom mirror appeared haggard, but I was a survivor. By the time I joined Thorn in bed that night, he was fast asleep. He’d washed his face and that was it. My poor guy was tuckered out.

  I, on the other hand, was far from it. Too many troubles danced around my head: the warlocks, Tamara’s secrets, and the trapped wizards who knew how to save Thorn but couldn’t escape from their prison without help from an outside force.

  It was as if circumstances were pulling me toward a burning bridge over a chasm with rocky rapids at the bottom. On the other side of the turbulent waters was my husband’s salvation. All I had to do was gather enough nerve to cross.

  Instead of lying with Thorn, I glanced out the tiny window to the forest outside. My fingertips twitched as my anxiety threatened to rise. A sink was close and with it came an old compulsion, the need to wash my hands. But I ignored it as purpose echoed through in my head: I could go again. I could take another chance to see what I could do. I heard my husband wheeze from the next room. He’d never made that sound before and just thinking about how much he weakened every day tore into me. The pain resurfaced again and tears threatened to fall, but I pushed them away.

  But the truth was laid bare. My mate was dying and this trip to come after me had taken more of his life away.

  Something inside told me I was so close to a solution. So close to helping him, I could taste it if I tried. I just needed that first step. I could rally my relatives and any friends they had. I could return to St. Petersburg and go door-to-door if necessary. I nodded as if such a gesture could make the decisions come easier.

  Thorn stirred and coughed, but drifted back to sleep.

  I took a step toward the window and opened it, letting the fresh air drift over my face. With the cool air came the promise of possibilities if I remained strong. Staying here and watching him die until it was time to go home wasn’t an option.

  My dad said it most eloquently when I saved him from his moon debt, “You too can be honorable for your family.”

  Thorn was my family I reminded myself as fear coursed through me. I would be all alone for this mission.

  But, then again, I should be used to that. After five years of going to work everyday, this should be easy peasy.

  Swallowing past the lump in my throat said otherwise.

  When I finally lay in bed next to him, I expected him to sleep, but he pulled me into his arms like he always did. When he brushed his lips against mine, the man I loved touched me. As much as I wanted to make love, it wasn’t right to do that in a stranger’s home, so we held each other, touching the places that always pleased the other. Every hard line of his body belonged to me, a familiar territory for me to explore again and again. He knew the perfect way to hold my face while he kissed me, cupping my cheeks ever so gently while his lips brushed against mine. Even if our bodies never became one, we still felt as if we were that way.

  Afterward, he tucked me in the crook of his arm with a smile. I couldn’t resist returning the expression.

  “I wish you’d smile more,” he whispered.

  “I try. When the moment warrants it.”

  He rubbed a cold spot on my arm. The chill in the air didn’t bother me, but I appreciated the gesture. “You have so many good things in your life, Nat. I wish you could see things the way I do. Your life has turned around. You have your parents. You have your brother, too.”

  Hearing him say the word ‘parents’ made me sigh. Thorn lost his mom when we were kids.

  “Do you miss her?” I searched his eyes when he looked away. We’ve never talked about his mom at length. Or the fact she died after a massive snowstorm swept over the northeast a long time ago. He usually clammed up when the topic came up. Maybe one of the reasons was that at the time he was too young to search for her—to use his tracking skills to find her like he found me.

  “I think about her all the time,” he replied. “Every day.”

  “I’ve seen the picture you carry in your wallet of you and her. She’s beautiful.” Saying she was beautiful was an understatement. The photo had frayed edges and a water stain or two, but her eyes radiated life. She had a toddler on her lap and the sunset behind them cast a purplish-red glow on their shoulders.

  Beside me Thorn only nodded, his jaw twitching. His stomach muscles clenched and I sensed the unease growing in him.

  “We don’t have to talk about her. I’m sorry,” I whispered. I shouldn’t have brought up his mom until he was ready.

  “No. It’s all right.” He sighed. “It’s just that the emptiness never goes away. I push it down so deep, but every couple of years when I believe I’ve gotten over her death I find out I’m not even close.”

  We sat in silence for a bit, my thoughts circling around the ceiling fan. All this time my mate had been suffering when I believed hardly anything got under his skin.

  I snuggled closer to him, wrapping my leg around his. Why couldn’t I take his suffering away like he did mine? For once I wished I knew how to use my babushka’s calming spell on him. What I did have to offer in reality was just as good: The love of my family. “You have more than one mom now. A grandma, too. My mom isn’t perfect,” I chuckled. “She’s loud and stubborn like her daughter, but she’s willing to move heaven and earth to protect her own.”

  I sensed the grin on his face. “I appreciate the offer. They are rather loud, but I don’t mind. Thank you, sweetheart.”

  Our sad moment ended with a long kiss that set my soul at ease.

  Somehow, Thorn fell asleep not long after our conversation.

  I, on the other hand, didn’t sleep the whole night. After such a long trip, I should’ve been exhausted, but I refused to lose the moment. I wanted every second and every sense locked in my memory: his smell, the warmth of his skin, the feel of the rise and fall of his chest against my arm.

  My beloved would live forever in me if I failed.

  At dawn, I got dressed. When I packed what I needed, I gently nudged his shoulder.

  He smiled at me with sleepy eyes. “Why you up so early?”

  Then he noticed my backpack and tears in my eyes. His mouth formed a hard line. “What are you doing?”

  “What must be done. You’re going to stay here until I get back—”

  “Nat, damn it—”

  I kissed his right hand. His left locked around my thigh. “I’m going to find a way to get those wizards out, Thorn.”

  “I told you not to do foolish things without me.”

  “Too late for that.”

  His grip on my leg tightened. “Don’t go.”

  “You have to admit this is an improvement. I am saying goodbye this time. You have to give me credit for that.”

  “I don’t want to say goodbye.” Sadness touched his hard features.

  I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. What if I were making a mistake
? What if I left, and he died here all alone?

  Doubts tried to eat away at me, but I shoved them aside.

  Screw doubt. Doubt could take a long jump off a short pier. I kissed his forehead and stood.

  Damn this was so hard.

  “You’re the love of my life, Thorn Grantham.” I’d said that once before with all my heart, and I meant it now just as much.

  “You’re perfect in all the right places,” he said as his voice broke.

  “I’ll be back soon,” I promised.

  Every step out of that house killed me. A thousand reasons hit me stronger than any panic attack I’d ever had before. The walls of fear tried to close in on me, but I kept walking. The air outside tried to choke me with heat, but I kept walking. The backpack on my back turned into a ton of bricks, but I kept facing forward, not stopping once.

  The wind was on my back, the first good thing to happen to me today.

  Chapter 15

  Touching old magic beyond a spell to calm my nerves was one thing, but really using werewolf magic to do the things wizards and warlocks were capable of was another.

  Today seemed like a good day to try out my powers, no? I’d set fire to a kitchen, but that was a while ago when I didn’t have Thorn weighing heavy on my mind like I did now.

  There was no choice but to get it right the first time.

  Next test: find the nearest jump point to take me to St. Petersburg. Months ago, I’d made my first jump with Nick from Jersey to Brooklyn. It had been quite the experience, pretty much comparable to getting teleported with Wilhelm. One minute, I was in a field with Nick, and in the next, I was in a basement in Brooklyn.

  Even after several months, the jump from that large rock in the middle of that field was still vivid in my mind. We tapped or, I should say, Nick tapped into the strange sensations coming from the stone. Tamara had prepared me for this, and I didn’t even know it until now. I chanted and pressed my hand to the ground and waited for the feeling Tamara told me would be there.