by Bellus,HJ
“I couldn’t open them if I wanted to.”
He rinses all the shampoo from my hair before stepping us out of the stream. Gobs and gobs of conditioner is run through my hair. His fingers glide between the strands.
“Now, do you women let this shit sit for a bit?” he asks.
I nod into his hard chest.
Another sound of a bottle popping open fills the shower and then I’m assaulted with a coconut scent. Kip runs his palms up my back. The creamy soap is soothing my skin. His hands roam up to the top of my shoulder blades, down under my arms, along the length of my arms, and to the front of my abdomen. He avoids all my private parts, but has every other inch of my skin soaped up.
He eases me back in the stream of the shower and massages my head until all the silky conditioner is running down the drain.
“I’m stepping out. Chloe, take as long as you need.”
“No.” I clutch to his forearm. “Stay here.”
I turn to the stream and let the water run over my face. The tears fall, disappearing down the drain with the rest of my shame and filth. I turn off the shower and push open the door. Kip steps out before me, handing me a towel. I do my best drying off the parts I can.
He runs another one down my long hair, wringing it dry. Kip then smooths it over the rest of my body before holding out the boxers for me to step in. When I pull my leg up, I spot all the scars and bruises covering my upper thighs. They disappear under his boxers as fast as they came into sight.
He lets them rest on my hips, but they fall to the ground. We both share a giggle and then he reaches down to pull them up again. This time he folds them over at the hem a couple times and they stay up. He pulls the shirt over me and I’m assaulted with his manly scent. It’s warm and comforting.
I go over to the sink and pick up the toothbrush and paste and brush my teeth. I’m left with a refreshing feeling. I drag the brush through my hair until it’s all combed out. Not styled, but clean and combed.
“Want a braid?”
I look over to Kip, who’s standing in a fresh pair of gym shorts with his hands on his hips. I don’t answer before he’s behind me braiding my hair and tying it off with a hair tie.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He guides me back out to the living room area and settles me on a couch. The shower zapped all my energy as embarrassing as it is. My eyes lose the good fight when Kip pulls up a fleece blanket over me.
“You’re the best.”
I’m not sure if I spoke the words or if they floated around in my dream state.
Six
Kip
Between hitting the gym outside in my studio, barely sleeping, and the stress from having Chloe around, my eyes grow heavy as she snores on the couch. I remain sprawled at her head and relax.
The shower this morning gutted me. I didn’t want to invade her personal space, but I also knew she needed a shower more than words can express and she had no ability to get it done on her own. When she dropped her head to my chest and began sobbing, I nearly lost my shit.
She’s pulling demons from me that I thought were lost and locked away forever. Each tear that rolls down her cheeks, I see my own mother. Every ugly healing bruise and scar shreds me like no other. I’ve remained a private person for good reason, but for some strange fucking reason Chloe is tearing down all the barriers and doesn’t even know it.
I barely know the girl, but I’d protect and even kill for her. Last night, after she had finally fallen asleep with her arm laid over Boozer and fingers pressed to my abs, I thought of Clooney. The man hadn’t even been a nightmare for the last six months, but his bright blue eyes and messy hair stared back at me. He was my best friend and work partner for years.
We’d met in the police academy and luckily ended up patrolling together. We worked our way up to detectives and took our jobs seriously. Bringing justice to everyone I could was the best therapy for me. It calmed my nightmares and eased the pain of watching my mother die until the night Clooney was shot right in front of me. Guilt washed over me for years, watching my mother fight for life and when the bullet aimed for me only grazed my calf, it was the final nail in the coffin.
I handed in my badge and headed home to live with Dad, giving the angry troll who lived under the bridge a whole new meaning. I laid around for months drowning out all the pain with whiskey. Nothing ever helped or soothed away the terror. Dad finally pushed me to go out and get a job. He didn’t quite approve of me being a bartender, but it was the only environment I felt safe in.
My back was always to a wall while facing patrons and slinging drinks. I close my eyes and try to push away the jackass smile Clooney always sported, but as hard as I try it becomes more vibrant. He’s the only person I’ve opened up to about my mother. I didn’t spare him one gory detail like I’ve done with my dad over the years.
He’d line up the shots and just let me pour my heart out to him. Clooney was my best fucking friend. The one person I’d let myself trust and care for over the years and I couldn’t even fucking protect him in that moment.
I sit up carefully, realizing sleep is just a mere fantasy for me at this point and scrub my face. I glance over to Chloe, asleep on the couch next to me. She’s snuggled down in the blankets with her long dark hair wrapped around her face. Most of my braid has fallen out by now. I can tell it’s not her natural hair color when I look closer to the roots. It’s more of an auburn brown color and it’s fucking beautiful.
She’s fucking beautiful, even through all the bruises and scars. Holding her in the shower wrecked me today. I’m caring for her, taking care of her, and know it’s all one big fucking mistake. But there’s a pull and there’s no way I’m going to turn my fucking back on her even though I know what the outcome will be.
Everyone I love and care for dies. They end up being beaten or shot and I stand by like a fucking scared little boy. I can’t do this.
I stand up and walk into the kitchen, reaching for the bottle of Southern Comfort. The golden liquid glides over the ice cubes in my glass and I begin to fight to dull the inevitable pain beginning to rush into my life.
Seven
Chloe
“Hey.” I sit up on the couch feeling only a slight twinge of pain.
“Hey.” Kip’s sitting across from me in a recliner.
“Was I out long?”
“Couple of hours.” He clutches the empty glass in his hand.
I haven’t felt uncomfortable until now and can sense something is eating at him.
“If you have something to do, I’ll be fine here.”
“I’m good.” He stands. “Your gang is heading over to see you. Should be here any minute.”
I bite the bottom of my lip, not ready to see any of them yet.
“Is that not okay?” He quirks up an eyebrow in question.
I stretch up with my good arm, hearing and feeling all my bones creak and crack. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
“You’re shit for a liar.”
I grimace knowing he read right through that and just shrug.
“Let me grab you a bottle of water and then you can fill me in.”
“Crackers too, please.”
Kip laughs lightly and turns on his heels. I watch him as he goes, studying his strong, broad back that’s way too tan. I rode that back. Then I watch him maneuver around in the kitchen. His hands are large and his arms flex with each movement. Those hands washed me. The man doesn’t have an ounce of body fat on him. He’s beautiful.
“Here.” He takes a seat next to me. “Now spill.”
“You’re pretty.” It’s out before I can slap my mouth. The more I think about it, I don’t want to slap my mouth or take the words back, because I’m serious. He’s a fucking stunning man who has saved me and is nursing me back to health.
“Do you have an infatuation with stomping the ever loving hell out of manhood? First my dog and now me.”
“Maybe?”
“Well, you suck at side-stepp
ing the real topic. Spill.”
I turn to face him, sitting with my legs crossed. Kip is relaxed back on the couch with his legs spread wide and his fucking God like chest on display.
“I’m not a good person.”
“Can’t be that bad if they saved you.”
“I am that bad. I left my two best friends and never kept in contact. Didn’t come back for Ava’s wedding or hell, even the birth of her first child. I was sucked into the vortex back home and left the two people I’d loved the most. It was the three of us all through college. They were in my wedding and I was the selfish bitch turning my back on them.”
“They came for you.”
“That’s not the damn point. I hurt them and was selfish.”
He places his hand on the top of my thigh. “You have to forgive yourself, Chloe. If you don’t, you’ll end up right back there with Zack. Let your friends be here for you.”
“It’s not that easy. Guilt eats you alive.”
“I’m walking, talking, proof of that shit, but you have to find a way to cope and survive.”
“My luck, it won’t be a healthy way to survive.” A weak smile covers my face.
“Generally they’re not healthy ones.” He points to his empty glass on the bar. “But survival is survival.”
“You’re hurting.”
It doesn’t come out as a question, but a statement. Kip doesn’t acknowledge me. I lean forward and can smell the alcohol floating from his lips. He has demons just as I do. Maybe that’s why he’s such a good caregiver. I remember his dad’s words from the night before and want to ask questions.
Kip doesn’t seem like the type to be an open book and there’s probably some damn good explanation behind that fact. I lean forward even more, ignoring the flash of pain striking up my arm and ending in my shoulder.
“Kip.”
He turns his head to look at me. His deep, honey brown eyes pierce me and I react. Perching up on my knees, I lean forward until our lips brush each other and I inhale the sweet scent of his drink. I lick my top and bottom lip before pressing them to his. Kip lets out a shallow exhale before kissing me back.
My lips zing with energy and I kiss him harder, melding our lips together. My tongue darts out and runs along the seam of his lips. It’s comforting and addicting at the same time. His hands crash down on my hips and pull me up into his lap. I’m straddling him, chest to chest, and kissing the ever-loving hell out of the man who’s become my protector.
I relax the majority of my body weight on my good arm, pressing down into his hard chest. He uses one hand to cradle my cast between us. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth, tasting all of him. It’s his taste mixed with the stout remnants of the whiskey he’d been drinking. I moan through my teeth when he digs one of his hands into my hips.
He repeats the action with my bottom lip, taking time to suck my taste into his mouth. His hand wanders up from the large shirt and runs up and down my ribcage. In one quick action, he takes my mouth back to his and laps his tongue lazily around my mouth, exploring it. I follow his action trying to suck my body to his as close as possible. My hips flex into his groin and I feel his want underneath me.
My hand roams down his chest between us until I’m stroking his hard on. Kip’s head falls back onto the couch and he squeezes his eyes shut. It’s an approving action and only fuels my desire. I’ve never in my life been so fucking thankful for elastic waist gym shorts.
The back of my hand glides along his abs then further down until I’m cupping him in my hand. He’s huge. By the feel of him, he has the biggest dick I’ve ever held. My hands barely wrap around the girth of it. His teeth sink down on his bottom lip.
“Why do you have to cope?” I ask, staring at him.
He doesn’t answer, so I pull his shorts down and begin stroking him from tip to base. Kip growls and bucks up into me.
“It’s only fair since you know everything about me.”
I squeeze him harder in my hand and watch as droplets of cum make the tip of his dick glossy.
“I’m fucked up, Chloe.”
“Me too.”
“I’m way too fucked up and we shouldn’t be doing this.” He finally raises his head, but doesn’t move my hand away.
I use the pad of my thumb to swirl the cum around his head and then stroke my hand right back down to the base.
“Maybe.” I finally agree. “But if it’s coping and we both feel good…”
His hips begin flexing in perfect unison to the strokes on his cock.
“You’re hurt and…”
“Please not now. Let me make you feel good, Kip.”
His eyes go foggy as he continues bucking up into my fist. I can tell he’s reserved about touching me, afraid he’ll hurt me or damage me more.
“I haven’t kissed, touched, or had sex in over a year.” My cheeks flush in embarrassment with the omission.
“Why?”
It’s a simple one-word question and I don’t want to answer it. I stroke him harder and faster feeling his dick pulse under my touch. He covers my hand with his.
“Why, Chloe?”
“Kip, please don’t push.” My eyes well up with tears.
“Seems you’re pushing me.” His hand covering mine begins to move up and down his dick. He guides the slow, steady pace and it’s erotic as fuck. With just a little bit of friction between my legs I’d be exploding into a full orgasm.
“Chloe,” he growls.
“Zack…” I bend my head to avoid eye contact. “Thought I was disgusting.”
His hand is gone from mine, wrapping in my hair, and pulling me down onto his lips. He attacks me like I’m his prey, working me over. After several long and punishing kisses, he pulls back.
“You’re fucking gorgeous, Chloe. I could watch you sleep for hours. You need a few more sandwiches, so I don’t fucking crush you, but you’re gorgeous.”
The tears fall. The stupid fucking endless tears race down my face out of control. I’m tired of being out of control. Tired of it all. He pulls my head down to his shoulder, careful to ease around the cast held by the sling. His hands rub up and down my back, soothing away the tears.
“This was a mistake. That’s what you’re going to tell me, eh?” I whisper into his neck.
“Nope, not at all, Chloe.” He palms my upturned cheek. “I’m not going any further until you believe in yourself and feel like the fucking reigning world queen.”
“Why?”
“You deserve it. I’m not going to take advantage of you right now when you don’t even believe in yourself.”
“It’s the attraction thing, uh? It’s okay, Kip.” My words make no sense, but I feel like he’s turning me down and I don’t fucking like it.
He pushes me back up into a seating position straddling his thighs and pulls my hand down to his still hardened cock.
“My dick is in love with you. Thinks you’re the most gorgeous woman on the planet, but my dick also has manners and wants you to believe it too.”
It’s easy to believe Kip and it may be my greatest mistake. The doorbell fires off in rapid fashion. Kip’s quick to pick me up and place me on the couch.
“I’ll let them in and then go to the bathroom to think of…”
I point to the tent in his shorts. “Poop patrol?”
He chuckles before turning to get the door. Kip is saved with Darby’s brazen entrance of pushing past him. Rhett’s hot on her heels arguing about something and then Ava and Rhett walk in, following a little curly-haired girl wobbling on her own two feet.
I gasp and cover my mouth at the sight of the gorgeous toddler.
Eight
Kip
“Holy fuck,” I whisper to my reflection in the mirror.
What in the hell just happened? Chloe in my lap, stroking me, and me kissing the hell out of her. It all felt so fucking good. I mean more than good, it was heaven. I’ve hit an all-time low in this moment.
She started the kissing and when i
t happened there was no way in hell I could stop it. It felt better than any amount of booze. I could fucking devour her for days. She broke my ever-loving fucking heart with the pure honesty streaming from her.
I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before and know it’s all-wrong. She’s a victim and I’m supposed to be a protector. Even though I don’t still sport the badge, the mindset is there and I’d never let a victim kiss me, let alone kiss her back. Not to mention letting her parade her hands down the front of my shorts.
It felt so good and right at the same time. The hurt flowing from her, I swallowed up every single ounce of it. She’s fragile and in a more tender state than I even thought. Every time she speaks of what he did to her, it only fuels my desire to crush the man and makes me want to make her feel better.
I splash cold water on my face and make a silent promise to myself. Stay away from her.
I laugh quietly to myself as I open the bathroom door, knowing promises were made to be broken.
Nine
Chloe
“How are you feeling?” Ava asks.
“Not too bad. Kip’s been taking really good care of me.” I sit up and hold a hand out towards Charlie and smile when she toddles her way over to me babbling.
“Figured he’d throw you a box of cereal and let you tough it out,” Zane adds.
Kip rounds the corner, joining us with that comment. Zane and Rhett are merciless on the poor man, giving him shit about taking care of me and how big of a pussy he is. Kip’s a good sport and takes all their taunts. My heart dips low in my chest when he sits in a chair on the opposite wall from me.
The tent in his shorts is gone as well as the man who was beginning to open up to me. He sits quietly, taking in all the conversation around us. Charlie has climbed up on the couch, blowing raspberries and poking at my cast.