by Bellus,HJ
“Owwwie.”
“Yes, it’s an owwie.” I brush her chubby cheeks. “She looks just like you, Ava.”
“My mom.” Charlie pats her chest.
“Yes, beautiful just like your mommy.”
“Mine.” Her little voice comes out demanding.
I laugh at her. “Yes, your mom.”
Charlie jumps from the couch and runs as fast as her little legs will take her over to Ava. She wraps her arms around her legs and lays her head in her lap.
“She’s a bit protective.” Ava waves.
“I guess so. She’s amazing.”
“Yeah, she keeps us busy.”
“You’re going to be in trouble, Zane. Payback double fold!”
He growls. “I’ll kill any boy that looks at her.”
“Oh, Jesus, baby. She’s not going to be a nun.” Ava reaches over and pecks him on the cheek.
“My daddy. No no.” Charlie points to Ava and leaps up into Zane’s lap.
“Hey princess.” He kisses the tip of her nose and takes the snapback from his head and places it backwards on her head just like he had it on.
“She’s the boss of those two.” Darby sits by me and whispers in my ear. “How are you really doing?”
I shrug. “Confused, embarrassed, tired.”
“Is Kip being nice?”
I take a moment to answer, but realize my best friend has read my face.
“You like him?” she hisses.
I look up to make sure no one else is listening to us and thankfully Charlie now sporting her dad’s expensive sunglasses is entertaining them all.
“He’s nice.”
“He’s quiet. Be careful, Chloe.”
“Jesus, I just escaped Hell, I’m not about to entertain the thought of jumping into a relationship.”
“You kissed him.”
I cover my lips and wonder how in the hell she could tell. “How do you know?”
“Wild guess, Chloe.”
“Jerk.” I punch her shoulder.
“You had sex.”
“Oh my God, no.” My voice comes out louder than expected and now everyone’s attention is on us.
“Bad guess.” She smiles.
“I’m ordering pizza.” Rhett stands and sulks off.
“Is he mad? He doesn’t like me, does he?” I ask her, not caring who heard me.
I notice Kip’s fist clench and unclench at my questions.
“Oh, he’s mad. He’s learning the consequences of waking my grumpy ass up at five a.m. to bone, so I cut him off for the day.” Darby hasn’t changed a bit.
“He woke you up at five a.m.?” Ava cringes. “I’d cut Zane’s d-i-c-k off to solve that problem.”
“You no hurt.” Charlie points her finger at Ava. Then lays her head down on her dad’s shoulder.
“Good girl.” Zane pats her back.
She nuzzles down into her dad before we all hear her heavy breathing. Ava joins us on the couch and us girls jump right into conversation. The two of them go on about married life and the adventure of motherhood. Darby opens up about her mother.
“I just need to say something,” I pause knowing this will be hard. “I was selfish and should’ve came back sooner. I thought about you two daily and wanted you in my life. I’m so sorry for being an asshole.”
“I forgive you, asshole.” Darby gives me a one-armed hug.
“I was never mad. I’ve always loved you, Chloe and I’m so happy you’re back. Please believe me,” Ava finishes with tears in her eyes.
“I’ve hurt both of you so much and I’m sorry.”
Ava wraps me up with an arm, being cautious around my cast and we lay our heads together.
“You’re not an asshole,” Ava adds. “Just a bit asshole-ish, but we will fix that.”
We all laugh and join the men in the kitchen when Rhett hollers that the pizza has arrived. Before we enter the kitchen, I have to say one more thing.
“I feel like Zane and Rhett resent me.”
“Know one thing,” Ava stops me and turns me to her. “They love you as much as we do because they love us. You’re a part of this family now.”
“Yeah, and Rhett loves his dick more than he hates anybody or anything, so you’re good.”
“Don’t talk about my dick when it’s in timeout,” Rhett mumbles around a piece of pizza.
Darby skips over to him, wrapping her arms around him, and opening up for a bite of pizza.
“Only if I’m out of jail.”
“There’s no get out of jail free card around here, babe.” Darby opens her mouth wider.
“It’s pepperoni with jalapenos on it.” He waggles his eyebrows. “And it’s so damn good.”
“Fine, you’re out of prison. Feed me, bitch.”
He does feed her, but with hungry kisses instead of pizza.
“They’ll be shagging in a room before you blink,” Ava announces, grabbing a slice of pizza.
“Here.” Kip’s at my side and helps me up onto a barstool. “What kind would you like?”
His lips dangerously graze the side of my ear and I ache for him. It’s so wrong, but my body doesn’t seem to care. I’ve never felt safer around someone and the way he kissed me only left me hungry for more.
“Anything, but pineapple please.”
“Okay.” He grabs the top of my hand and gently squeezes it.
“Thank you, Kip.” I turn my face to look up at him. “You were right. I told them I was sorry and they accepted.”
He shoots me a wink before trotting around the island. I look up to see Zane and Ava staring at me with curious glances that make me feel completely exposed. A warm smile spreads across Ava’s features.
Kip settles in next to me with his plate as well along with a bottle of water and two pills.
“Will these knock me out?”
“No, just anti-inflammatory.”
“You don’t even know what pills you’re taking?” Ava chimes in.
I shrug. “I was out of it last night when I woke in a panic.”
“See, I told you.” Darby hits Rhett’s chest. “I should’ve stayed.”
“No, it was fine,” I reassure her. “Kip was in a cot next to me and helped me.”
“Nurse Kip,” Darby teases.
“He fed me Chinese. Got me really sick and then gave me more pain meds.” I smile.
“Hey, you’re the one who inhaled the damn food. She almost ate the whole fucking carton.”
Everyone laughs and settles into an easy conversation. The cold beer bottles the men drink from entice me. It’s been ages since I’ve had a cold Coors Light. Zack always insisted I drank the fancy shit, but he even pushed for water instead. Less calories.
I grab Kip’s beer without thinking and take a long pull from it. The cold amber liquid tickles my taste buds, so I take another swallow.
“Not too much with the medicine you’re on.”
“It tastes so damn good.”
“Beer lover, eh?”
“Used to be,” I respond.
“I have a feeling we’re going to re-visit a lot of used to be moments.” He winks at me and then clutches my hand under the bar in his. I weave my fingers in his, feeling at home as each one of our fingers intertwine.
The men all swarm the television to dive into a baseball game of some sorts as the girls lead me back to the guest bedroom to show me the clothes they brought.
“I mean, you do look sexy in those in that beat up kind of way.”
“Darby.” Ava socks her shoulder
I laugh and wave them off. “I look like shit and know it.”
I run my fingers through the haphazard braid Kip tried his hand at and smile.
“Um, how did you braid your hair?” Ava asks.
“Kip.” It’s a one-word reply.
“And shower?” Darby asks.
I stall a bit at this question, wanting to keep that intimate moment private. It was a low of all lows, but made better at his hands.
“Kip,” I whisper.
They both gasp.
“He’s helped me go to the bathroom and suggested I shower the stench off. He was a gentleman and didn’t peek as he undressed me and showered me.”
“Holy shit,” Darby whispers.
“Yeah, no shit,” Ava adds.
“What?” I settle down onto the bed, not trying to cover up the rumpled blankets and the evidence that both of us slept in the bed the night before.
Ava flops back on the bed, dangling a red tank top over her head. “He’s a private man. I never expected this from him.”
“Yeah, he really is.” Darby sits next to me. “Rhett’s told me a little bit about him and he has a serious past.”
“Like what?”
Darby shakes her head.
“You can’t be leaving me like that.”
“He used to be a cop and his partner was shot right in front of him. Guess he’s fucked up from that.”
“That explains why he’s so protective.” I debate divulging the rest, but who am I kidding, these are my girls. “We kissed. Kissed hard. It’s on me. I started it and it felt so good. I haven’t been with Zack in over a year and to be in the arms of a kind and gentle giant was surreal.”
They both give each other a stare that screams oh shit, she’s falling. I want to argue and correct them, but I can’t start off our newfound friendship on lies.
“It’s not like I’m going to go girlfriend bat shit crazy on him. It’s feels so good and I haven’t felt good in such a long time.”
“I’ve learned one thing in life and I’m pretty sure Darby can agree with me. Shit happens when you least expect it. We fall in love or find safety in the oddest places and it’s nobody’s place to judge.” Ava clutches my hand in hers. “Just protect your heart and never let anyone shatter you again.”
“I agree,” Darby adds.
“I shouldn’t be thinking about men after fleeing, but it’s the safety that I crave.”
And his lips, touch, and smell.
Ten
Chloe
“Feeling okay?” Kip asks from across the room.
“Actually, I am.”
Even though his father just worked me over checking out everything.
“Need anything before bed?”
I shrug and then shake my head from side to side.
“You’re a shit liar, Chloe.”
“How do you do that?”
“It’s pretty easy with you. Crackers and water?”
“Yes, please.”
I work my way down in the covers, feeling exhausted. The girls and I chatted for hours while the men yelled at the game. Charlie slept through most of it on her daddy’s chest. Our conversation lingered from light topics all the way to the heavy ones. Darby and Ava reassured me to just take it from day to day and not over analyze anything.
I’m scared to death on the inside. I’m falling from one crutch to the next and can feel it in my bones. I latched on to Zack and endured his wrath because he was my drug of choice. I know it was all-wrong, but couldn’t seem to break from the vicious cycle.
I’ve found the opposite in Kip, but it’s still the same moot point. He’s now slowly becoming my drug of choice, a much healthier one, but a drug all in the same. It’s wrong, so damn wrong, but my heart is gravitating to him. It’s his light touches, caring gestures, and constant kindness. I’m in a trance. A scary fucking trance.
“Here.” Kip sets down the water and crackers on the nightstand.
I grab his wrist before he can turn to leave. “Do you think I’m a…”
“A what?” He booms out the two words.
“Wrong for kissing you?”
“Did it feel good?”
I nod my head.
“Then why would it be wrong?”
“I’m married,” I whisper, dipping my head.
“Legally, yes. But Zack obliterated the temple of marriage the first time he regulated your food and laid a hand on you. That’s not a marriage.”
“I’m confused, Kip.”
He crawls over me only covering my body for a brief moment, before rolling to his side. He props his hand up on his head.
“Talk to me.”
“I like you. Jesus, I haven’t even been here twenty-four hours and mauled your face and your…” I point to his crotch.
He lets out a hearty laugh. “I’ll be honest. I’m confused as well. I’m not sure what it is. But, Chloe, I’ll promise you this. I’ll never hurt you and I know you’re in a tough spot right now. I just want to be here.”
“I want you to be here. I’m so thankful. It’s almost like I don’t deserve it.”
“I went into the bathroom when they showed up and stared at myself for a long time in the mirror. I know what we did was so fucking wrong, but then I’ve kept thinking about it all night and thought, fuck it.”
“Fuck it?” I ask, sinking down further into the bed.
“Yeah, fuck it. There’s no rulebook to life. Shit, how are we supposed to know what to do?”
“You’re right. Fuck it.”
“I also promise to make you feel beautiful again.” He scratches his head. “I already think you’re a knock-out that just needs a few more sandwiches.”
“No more Chinese for a while, Poop Patrol.”
He laughs hard. “See this is what we need. Forget about what’s right or wrong and just enjoy the moment. I have a really hard time doing that.”
His last few words trail off, but I hear them. It’s more than I expect from him, but it makes me so happy he gave it to me.
“The girls are going to pick me up tomorrow.”
“For?”
“Spa day.” I roll my eyes.
“Just make sure they bring you back.”
“Deal.” I roll to my side to face him.
He jumps up from the bed and rounds the bottom of it before he’s on my side. “Scoot.”
I follow his command, scooting to the center. The bed dips when he crawls in and then his chest is pressed to my back. His arm pulls me further into him and I melt.
“Is this okay?” His words vibrate on the sensitive part of my neck.
“Perfect, actually.”
Eleven
Chloe
“I’m not getting a damn pixie cut.”
“You have the perfect face,” Darby counters.
“Then cut off your mop first.”
“Okay, not a pixie cut, but we need something drastic. I mean, she looks like a drab 80’s curtain.”
The hair stylist continues to play a neutral role in the conversation, not wanting to piss either side off.
“Okay, let’s do a shaggy bob.” I gesture to right above my shoulders. “And I’d like to go back closer to my natural color.”
The stylist parts my hair, examining my roots. “Okay, that’s doable, but I’m going to be taking off a good seven inches and will have to use bleach to lighten your hair.”
“Perfect,” I nod.
Darby smiles in victory even though she didn’t get her choice of a cut. Ava’s back in the torture zone getting a Brazilian done. For once, I’m not envious of her life. It only took me one time of suffering that pain to never do it again.
Darby spins round and round in the empty chair next to me, randomly giving her opinion to other customers. I swear she was never diagnosed with ADD. I feel bad because I nod off every once in awhile feeling so relaxed and still exhausted. I was relieved to wake up to little pain this morning, so I skipped my morning pain meds. It just seems my body is beyond exhausted at this point and just needs some good old-fashioned sleep.
“I’m going to kill you, Darby,” Ava hisses, rushing to our side.
Darby responds with a gut-rolling laugh. Her face flushes red with tears rolling down her face.
“What did I miss?” I spy over at the two out of the corner of my eye.
Ava huddles near my side and tries to whisper. “The bitch told me to get a Brazilian wax.”
; “Yeah, so?” I shrug with confusion.
“I’ve never had one and I like my little landing strip.” She grits between her teeth.
“You’ve never had a Brazilian?” My voice comes out loud and shocked.
“No, have you?” she asks.
I nod.
“You both are goat fuckers. I swear.”
Darby tries getting out a few words, but can’t muster it between her laughter. It takes her several attempts. “I would’ve loved to have seen your face when she asked you to get on your hands and knees.”
“Well, it didn’t happen.” She pauses. “It was a he!”
And I can’t help but die of laughter right beside Darby.
Ava stomps her foot and points her finger. “This goes to our grave, assholes. Zane would kill the poor guy who just shredded my lady locker.”
Darby wipes the tears from her face. “Good thing you’re not a stripper because that would be at least a once a week appointment.”
I shudder with that thought because that shit isn’t even worth the good money.
“Do you think the guys got waxed when they stripped?” Ava asks. “Because if they did and Zane finds out about this, I’ll have some dirt on him.”
I’m whirled around in my chair to face both of them. I’m guessing the gal is tired of my trying to crane my head.
Darby shrugs. “Ask Kip.”
“Good idea,” Ava adds. “Give me your phone Chloe, mine died.”
“Did you two get into my pain meds?” I ask. “Because you’ve lost your damn marbles.”
“Give me your phone. Kip would know.”
“Kip’s a bartender.”
An awkward silence floats between the three of us. Darby and Ava share a few exchanged glances before looking at me.
“He used to be the bartender, but since Rhett’s accident and decision not to go back, Ross needed a new Don Juan to whirl his wiener on stage.”
I swallow down the…well I don’t know what I swallow down. It can’t be hurt or anger, maybe confusion with a hint of bitterness.
“Are you okay?” Ava asks.
“Oh yeah,” I nod. “I just can’t believe every guy in this town is or has been a damn wiener whirler at that club.”
I study their expressions and exhale when I see they’ve bought my response. The truth is, I don’t know how it makes me feel. I have no right to feel anything actually. He’s doing a good deed by taking care of me. My mind is so fucked up right now.