His Wayward Woman

by Ava Sinclair

  She poured another finger of liquor into her glass and then gulped the amber fluid down in two fiery gulps that sent her into a coughing fit. The effects hit her almost immediately; she’d hardly had anything to eat since breakfast. But the haze of alcohol didn’t completely diminish the guilt she felt over shedding her first tears of the day not for her mother, but for the absence of a man she’d left. Why was it so hard to cry, she wondered? And why was he the only person who could drag it out of her?

  After arriving in L.A., she’d made two phone calls. The first was to her mother, to apologize and say she was starting a new life. Her mother’s voice was sad, but also relieved. Lily Mae had been a bright student, but had spent her last two years of school in and out of trouble. She barely graduated due to her truancy. Was it any wonder her mother was ready for a break? The second call had been the bank to check her balance. She’d worked as a waitress for several years before graduating and had saved nearly every penny. That combined with her graduation money had given her enough to get started. By the end of the second week in California, she’d enrolled in a community college and gotten a room in an apartment with two other women who’d posted a ‘Looking for Roommate’ notice on the quad bulletin board. Then she found a job working at the corner coffee shop where the regulars good-naturedly nicknamed her ‘Sandy Squirrel’ because of her Texas accent.

  It felt like a dream, those early days in L.A., because Lily Mae didn’t think it was permanent. Every time there was a knock on the door of the apartment, she was sure it was Jace come to fetch her home. At work, she’d sometimes catch a glimpse of a broad back in a chambray shirt and think it was him. But it never was.

  “Stupid,” she said, taking another shot to tame the void of his absence then, his absence now. She’d harbored the same fantasy for so long, she had expected it to come true. Jace, walking in, his face hard, his eyes determined.

  “I’m taking your ass home,” he’d say, and she’d protest, telling him she wasn’t going to be ordered around like a child. And in her dream he’d ignore her, just like he’d ignored her the night she’d left when he turned her over his knee and spanked her ass until she was sobbing with hurt and need.

  Oh, that night… their last night together. In the light of morning, shame had dawned with sobriety. She’d felt so conflicted. He’d taken her virginity, but he’d also spanked her. It had left her feeling confused and conflicted. What was she to him? Was she still the bratty surrogate sister he’d been trying for five years to tame? Or was she the woman he loved?

  The note had been meant to make him choose, to make him prove she mattered. It had been an invitation to a chase that never happened. It had taken her two months in L.A. to admit that Jace wasn’t coming for her.

  She’d pulled up her big girl panties after that. For the first time in Lily Mae’s life, she was not only on her own, but alone in a city that offered no second chances. So she worked and did general courses until she settled on a field of study she’d have never thought she’d enjoy—interior design—and became good enough to get hired right out of school.

  But personally, she never recovered from Jace. It wasn’t for lack of trying. Lily Mae’s beauty, southern charm, and sophisticated good looks earned her more than one ardent suitor. But they could never match up to the man who knew all her secrets, the man who once scared her half to death by waiting for and catching her sneaking into her bedroom window drunk as a skunk at two a.m., the man who finally spanked her when he’d had enough of her sass…

  She poured another shot.

  “Goddamn you, Jace,” she said. Lily Mae had moved quickly from the sadness stage of drunkenness to the anger phase as memories continued to bubble to the surface. He’d been her caretaker, her guardian, her best friend! She’d never asked for his oversight, but he’d given it anyway. And he’d fucked her. Fucked her! And afterwards he’d not even bothered to find out where she’d gone….

  She stood up, weaving a little bit. It was high time she gave that sonofabitch a piece of her mind. But where the hell where her keys? Lily Mae teetered as she stepped into her heels. She swayed as she took a couple of steps. She was fine. Just fine. Just a little tipsy was all.

  No, she told herself. You’re not drunk. You’ve just got enough liquid courage on deck to finally get the closure you deserve.

  The ranch was just seven miles outside of town. A straight shot. She could do this. Lily Mae dumped everything out of her purse as she searched for her keys, and then cursed herself when she remembered she’d laid them on the little table by the door.

  It was still raining. She didn’t put her coat on, but held it over her head as she rushed to the car. She considered it a sign of sobriety when she got the key in the ignition on the first try. She could smell the liquor on her own breath, but wasn’t too worried about getting pulled over this time of night on a rural road.

  As she pulled onto the road, Lily Mae flipped her iPod to the playlist she kept in her music library but never listened to. It was filled with songs by artists she and Jace used to both like—Kenny Chesney, Brooks and Dunn, Toby Keith, Taylor Swift. She never listened to country music in L.A., but now that she was back home, it felt right. And the strains of the songs they loved only deepened the pain of memories long suppressed.

  The rain pelting Lily Mae’s windshield slacked off as she drove, but the relief she felt was replaced by panic when she detected flashing lights in the distance.

  “No way there’s a fucking checkpoint out here,” she said aloud, gauging the feasibility of a three-point turn before dismissing it as too risky given the narrow, muddy shoulder of the road. Relief swept through her when she realized it wasn’t a checkpoint, but an accident. A sedan had slid into a ditch, its rear lights blinking almost comically. A cop in a rain slicker was comforting the driver as his partner waved Lily Mae on past. She concentrated on keeping her vehicle straight, which was getting harder to do. She tried to remember how many shots she’d had, and couldn’t.

  Tears slipped down her face. Lily Mae angrily wiped them away, her grudge growing by the mile. It wasn’t her fault that she was drunk. It was his fault. If he’d not just tossed her aside after he got what he wanted, she might have had the confidence to get into a relationship. Her last one had ended like all the others, with her boyfriend—a handsome broker—telling her that she wasn’t ‘completely there.’ They all said the same thing; Lily Mae seemed preoccupied, distant, unsatisfied. “I feel like you’re waiting for me to give you something you need, the trouble is I don’t know what it is,” one had said before walking out the door.

  She wiped away another tear as she turned off the road. The wooden sign above the gravel drive leading to Four Oaks Ranch was just as she remembered. The road was, too, and Lily Mae gritted her teeth as her shiny SUV bounced along the ruts, throwing muddy water up in its wake.

  And then there it was—the ranch house. The sight of it sobered her a little, especially when she saw his truck. That sobered her even more. Jace was home. And what was she supposed to do now? Knock on the door? Cry like a baby about how he’d abandoned her and confirm that he’d been right when he treated her like a kid?

  Suddenly the rash plan hatched in her drunken state seemed ridiculous. What the hell was she thinking, coming out here? She started to head to the right with plans to swing around the circular drive and head back out. But a piece of farm equipment had been parked there, so she pulled left, swung the nose of her SUV around, and started to back between another tractor and Jace’s truck so she could head back out the way she came. But no sooner had she shifted into reverse and hit the gas did she hear the sickening sound of crunching metal.

  “Oh, shit…” Lily Mae looked back. She didn’t think she’d hit the gas that hard, but her rear quarter panel was all but molded around the right quarter panel of Jace’s pickup. Feeling panicked, she threw the SUV into forward gear and hit the gas, swerving as she did to head for the main gate. But the wheels slipped on the wet gravel, sending her i
nto the yard.

  “Goddamnit!” She looked back again, this time toward the house. The front door was opening and she could not mistake the silhouette she’d know anywhere. She punched the gas pedal, only to have the rear wheels spin helplessly in the saturated ground.

  “Come on! Come on!” she yelled at the vehicle as she pressed the accelerator. She was about to throw it in reverse and try again when the door flew open and a hand reached over her, threw the gear in neutral, and jerked the key from the ignition.

  “What the hell…?” Lily Mae began as her seatbelt was unsnapped and she was hauled out of the vehicle.

  “What the hell is right.” His voice had the same drawl of authority that had been both the bane and comfort of her youth. “What the hell are you doing driving drunk, Lily Mae?”

  “Who says I’m drunk?” she asked, trying to jerk herself away.

  “My eyes,” he said. “I knew you were drunk when I saw you pull in here, even before you hit my truck.” He leaned in and sniffed. “And you smell like the inside of a whiskey bottle.” He gave her a shake. “What were you thinking, coming out here drunk in this weather? You could have been killed!”

  “Like you’d care,” she said, jerking hard enough to finally pull away. Now that the adrenaline had subsided, the effects of the liquor were back with full force, causing her to sway in heels two inches deep in mud. She crossed her arms and took an unsteady step back. The rain had started to fall softly again, the cool drops wetting her face along with hot teardrops that had started to fall unbidden.

  “I do care!” he said. “I never stopped caring. And if you wanted to talk to me, you could have called. You knew where I was, but you left me not knowing where you went.”

  “Yeah, like you couldn’t have tracked me down. After you got what you wanted, you just let me go!” she yelled over the rain, her fists clenched at her sides. “I made sure I told enough people that word would get back to you. But you never came.”

  Jace pointed to the west. “You told me you were leaving! You told me not to contact you!”

  She was sobbing heavily now, her pride dissolved by tears and alcohol. “Oh, Jace… since when did you ever listen to a goddamn thing I had to say?”

  They stood there facing each other, Jace looking hurt and stunned as Lily Mae felt herself overwhelmed by the grief and sadness she’d been holding at bay since her mother had gotten ill, since years before.

  “Damn it, Lily Mae…” Jace’s voice was soft as he put his arms around her. “Let’s get you out of this rain.”

  Chapter Three

  It had only taken Jace five minutes to fetch a glass of water, two aspirins, and a towel for Lily Mae, but that had been all the time she’d needed to pass out on his sofa. When he walked back in the room she was slumped against the cushion, one arm thrown over her eyes, one leg hanging off the couch.

  He felt a strong sense of déjà vu as he looked at her lying there. He could still remember how she’d fallen asleep beside him their last night together. He’d awakened to find her gone. But that wasn’t going to happen this time around, at least not until they’d straightened this mess out.

  Jace pulled a chair over and sat down beside the sofa. Carefully so as not to wake her, he blotted the rainwater from her face and hair with the towel. Lily Mae moaned in her sleep, parting her lips. He studied her face, a little more mature than the last time he’d seen her, but just as pretty with its high cheekbones and sharp little nose.

  The long golden braid hung over her shoulder. It was a bit disheveled, so he undid the tie at the end and ran his fingers through the wheat-colored tresses before squeezing them in the towel for good measure. It wouldn’t do her any good to lie there all night with a wet head.

  She needed to get out of those damp clothes, but he wasn’t about to undress her. He did remove her shoes, deciding as they did that these were—just as he expected—expensive city girl shoes. Placing them on the floor by the sofa, he stood up and removed the crocheted afghan his granny had made and laid it over Lily Mae.

  “There you go, you hot mess,” he said.

  With Lily Mae reasonably bedded down, Jace now had to do something about her vehicle. Back outside, he inspected her little SUV with a flashlight and determined that the lightweight material of her fender had been no match for his heavy-duty work truck. The back of her vehicle was caved in, the tail light broken. She was lucky in more ways than one that she’d not been able to pull out of the drive. A cop surely would have pulled her over and she’d be sleeping off her booze in the county jail had she not gotten stuck.

  And stuck she was. The day’s rain had been the third bad storm system to hit west Texas that week, leaving the usually thirsty ground saturated. He had to hook a chain to the bumper of her vehicle and pull it back on the gravel drive. He still had her keys in his pocket, so he was able to start the SUV and drive it over to park it near his.

  The inside of it smelled like air freshener. There was a flip-top drink bottle in the cup holder between the seats, and an iPod still attached to the radio dock. Jace looked down at the playlist and smiled when he recognized their songs. He wondered what on Earth had happened between the time he saw her leaving the funeral and the time she arrived at his house.

  He wasn’t sure how to handle the accident. He supposed he’d make up a story to cover for her in the morning, as much as that went against his principles. But she would need her insurance information. He remembered that she always kept that in the glove box, so he leaned over and popped it open, sending an avalanche of papers onto the floor.

  Jace muttered a curse as he leaned over to pick them up. He’d only intended to leaf through them until he found Lily Mae’s insurance information. He’d not intended to pry, but he could not help it when he realized that the papers he’d retrieved were all things she’d no doubt not want him to see.

  It was mostly bills, almost all of them credit card statements stamped with red ‘Past Due’ notices. And that wasn’t all. There was a completion certificate from a court-mandated driver safety course, and when Jace read the letter accompanying it, he felt his jaw tighten. It was dated a year earlier, and stated the reason: a DUI.

  His jaw clenched further as he continued leafing through the papers. The final one he found tested his patience the most. It was a cancellation notice on Lily Mae’s auto insurance.

  He looked toward the house, feeling alternately angry and concerned. Lily Mae Slater wasn’t just a hot mess; she was a train wreck. Jace replaced the papers, shut the glove box, and leaned back against the seat of her vehicle. He wondered when her life had gone off the rails, and whether it was his fault. The broken woman who’d crashed into his truck certainly cut a different image than the poised one he’d glimpsed at her mother’s funeral.

  Jace rubbed his jaw thoughtfully, wondering if he should call Janine or one of her other friends to inquire about what had been going on in Lily Mae’s life. But then he remembered that he’d not even seen Janine at the funeral, and suspected that she’d not had much contact with anyone after leaving.

  “Damn it, Lily Mae,” he said, stepping out of the SUV. “I hope you get a good night’s sleep, because tomorrow we’re going to have a come to Jesus meeting.”

  Oh, yes, he thought. He was going to get to the bottom of things. And with that thought, he was hit with a stronger sense of déjà vu. Lily Mae, he decided, had not outgrown her need for a good spanking after all.

  Chapter Four

  “Ow…”

  Lily Mae opened her eyes to the light of a new day, and discovered that the light hurt. She put her hand to her forehead as she slowly sat up, swallowing the sour taste that rose in her throat along with a wave of nausea.

  She looked down, momentarily stupefied by the rainbow of colors made up by the afghan that covered her. Then she dragged her gaze upward, slowly and apprehensively as flashes of memory returned.

  The booze. The drive. The panic. She’d seen blue lights, but after that? Had she been pulled ov
er? No. She’d driven on to…

  “Oh, my god…” Now she looked around—really looked around—and realized where she was; it was the house that used to serve as her home away from home. Jace’s place.

  Now everything was coming back: hitting his truck, getting stuck, standing in the rain yelling. Lily Mae turned and put her feet on the floor, burying her face in her hands.

  “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” she said, then reached hastily for her shoes. She didn’t know where Jace was, but she knew one thing: she had to get out as quickly as possible.

  “Going somewhere?”

  She looked up slowly, and for a moment their eyes locked. She felt frozen in time with her hand cupping one heel, the foot halfway in.

  “I need to leave,” she said woodenly.

  Jace crossed his arms. “I don’t think so, Lily Mae.”

  Lily Mae slid her foot into the shoe. Something in his tone was unsettling.

  “It’s not really your choice, is it?” she asked.

  “Right,” Jace said. “Because you’re a big girl who can take care of herself?”

  Lily Mae glared at him now. “Are you making fun of me?” she asked in disbelief.

  “Not at all. I’m just repeating the lie you’ve obviously been telling yourself since the night you ran away from me for giving you what you needed.”

  Her heart began to pound as she stood. The room spun around her and Lily Mae closed her eyes. When she opened them, she realized he’d moved closer and was looking down at her.

  “I don’t have to take this,” she said as evenly as she could. “I think you have my car keys, so hand them over.” She held out her hand.

  “Sure,” he said. “Just as soon as you provide proof of insurance. You banged my truck up pretty bad last night.”