The Complete Inspector Morse

by David Bishop

  Edward Murdoch admits concocting the blackmail letter with his brother, after seeing an unposted letter from Anne to Richards about her pregnancy. A man answering to the name Conrad Richards is arrested at Gatwick when he returns from Madrid and charged with the murder of Jackson. Morse interviews him and the man admits his true identity – he is actually Charles.

  Conrad gave the lecture on publishing, pretending to be his brother, while the real Charles confronted Jackson. This established an alibi for Charles at the time of the murder. When Lewis got Conrad’s fingerprints, he got them from the real Conrad – so there could be no match with those found at number 10. Celia was brought in on the deception to help maintain the pretence.

  UNLUCKY IN LOVE: Morse and Anne are strongly attracted to each other but never act on it. Anne feels a curiously compelling attraction to Morse, while he admires her bottom. Six months later she commits suicide. But before she hanged herself, Anne wrote a letter saying she hoped he would get in touch. Morse is deeply upset. He had thought of her but believed she was married.

  A bridge player thinks Morse would be quite dishy, really, if he was 15 or 20 years younger. Charles Richards’ mistress, Jennifer Hills, likes the sound of Morse’s voice. She fantasises about him giving her interrogation and inter-something-else as well.

  DRINK UP, LEWIS: At the party where he meets Anne, Morse drinks a prodigious amount of slightly superior red wine.

  He decides to visit Anne after swallowing rather too much beer. That night Morse thinks his mind is too often dulled by cigarettes and alcohol. He has one pint and is about to start on another when police sirens lure him away.

  Bell says Morse spends most of his free time in pubs.

  Morse invites Max for a drink but the pathologist declines. He prefers boozing at home because prices are cheaper and there are no licensing hours. Max jokes that he starts drinking at the same time as Morse – just before breakfast.

  The inspector has a couple of double Scotches at the Printer’s Devil pub before secretly searching 9 Canal Reach. Afterwards he and Walters drive to Morse’s flat for a few liberal doses of whisky.

  Morse drinks four pints at his local, knowing from long and loving addiction that his brain is keenest after beer.

  The inspector drinks with the Master of Lonsdale at The Mitre but declines an invitation to lunch. He sees Edward Murdoch go into the Corn Dolly pub. Morse follows the teenager, has a pint and then buys pints for himself and Edward.

  When Morse attends Richards’ evening lecture, the inspector hasn’t drunk a pint all day. He finishes one and buys another but is again drawn away by police sirens.

  Morse gets considerably over-beered trying to overhear conversations in pubs around Jericho.

  The inspector turns down the offer of a drink from Richards, stoically deciding to wait until he gets back to Kidlington.

  Morse has beer without the ‘blotting paper’ of food for lunch, but Lewis opts for chips, sausages and egg to accompany his beer. When Morse wants a second pint, his sergeant points out it is Morse’s round. Lewis only wants a half but the inspector has another pint. He decides on a third but Lewis declines altogether. Despite this, Morse still tricks Lewis into paying!

  Morse gets over-beered at the Friar Bacon pub near his home. Next day he silently vows to give the booze a rest. That night he goes home and drinks a bottle of Teacher’s whisky.

  Morse outlines a wild theory to Lewis over beer. The sergeant buys the second round, deciding not to remind his chief whose turn it was. Morse gives Lewis a fiver to buy the third round and insists the sergeant keep the change!

  Lewis invites Morse to the Printer’s Devil for a drink as the case ends.

  ONE FOR THE MORGUE: Anne Scott commits suicide by hanging herself in the kitchen at 9 Canal Reach. George Jackson is murdered by Charles Richards during a violent argument at 10 Canal Reach.

  MURDERS: one. BODY COUNT: two.

  INCREASE YOUR VOCABULARY: Walters suspects he’s been getting far too sophistical (obscure) about the business of Anne’s door keys.

  THE MANY LUSTS OF MORSE: Excessive beer drinking invariably leaves Morse awash in a wave of eroticism. He is dismayed, however, to feel not the slightest twinge of eroticism while contemplating a stripper called Fiona.

  Morse questions Jennifer Hills by telephone. The inspector thinks she sounds sensuous and passionate. He decides to keep a note of her details, just in case, not realising she is fantasising about him too (see above).

  The inspector admits he would have peeped at Anne, just like Jackson.

  CRYPTIC CROSSWORDS: Morse asks Edward if he’s interested in crosswords but the teenager ignores the question.

  One of the novel’s quotes is taken from Ximenes on the Art of the Crossword, a book written by D S Macnutt.

  Morse doesn’t tackle a crossword in the entire novel. Lewis makes steady progress on a coffee-break crossword in the Daily Mirror.

  YOU’VE DONE IT AGAIN, LEWIS: Lewis triggers a startling revelation by talking about his wife’s pregnancy tests. ‘You-are-a-bloody-genius, my son!’ the inspector says and shakes Lewis vigorously by the shoulders.

  MORSE DECODED: Morse is an only child. His father was a taxi driver.

  PORN TO BE WILD: Morse notices Sex in the Suburbs is playing at the Phoenix cinema but he is distracted from thoughts of Technicolor titillation.

  The inspector reads a lurid and crudely explicit porno magazine at Jackson’s house while the pathologist examines the corpse. Morse tells Max he can’t stop being sex-mad. He thinks he probably missed his calling as a highly paid and inordinately successful writer of erotic pornography.

  Morse returns to number 10 later and again flicks through the porn.

  SOPHOCLES DID DO IT: Morse bets Max ten pounds about Jackson’s time of death. Morse believes Charles Richards murdered Jackson before giving his talk. But he is quickly proved wrong and loses his bet.

  Morse concocts one of his wildest notions when he claims Sophocles killed Anne: she hanged herself to fulfil the myth of Oedipus made famous by the writings of Sophocles. Morse says that Anne discovered she had been sleeping with the child she gave up for adoption – Michael Murdoch. Murdoch had killed her former husband in a car crash, just as Oedipus unwittingly killed his own father and married his own mother. Lewis checks the facts and proves Morse’s elegant theory wrong.

  LEWIS’ KITH AND KIN: Lewis left school at 15. He acquired competence in several technical skills at night schools. He joined the police force at 20 and never really regretted it. He has been a sergeant for ten years.

  Lewis first met Morse six years ago. He feels pride at being mentioned as Morse’s partner in crime-solving.

  Mrs Lewis is Welsh. When she was having her first child, Mrs Lewis knew she was pregnant before taking any test. The sergeant’s eldest daughter gives birth to a girl. To celebrate, Mrs Lewis buys a modestly expensive bottle of red wine to accompany egg and chips.

  PEOPLE JUST CALL ME MORSE: Morse has never quite forgiven his parents for christening him as they did.

  SOUNDTRACK: A police siren reminds Morse of the opening of a Chopin nocturne. After learning Anne is dead, he goes home and selects the Barenboim recording of the Mozart Piano Concerto number 21.

  Morse spends a lot of time listening to his beloved Wagner, according to Chief Inspector Bell.

  Max gives his evidence at the Anne Scott inquest with the exhilarating rapidity of Ashkenazy laying into the works of Liszt.

  Morse’s mind begins to stir in the depths like the opening keys of Das Rheingold while contemplating the death of Anne.

  QUOTE-UNQUOTE: Morse is full of modesty when he meets Anne: ‘I happen to be blessed with the most brilliant brain in Oxford.’

  Lewis weathers the storm of a Morse diatribe: ‘And so he waited, like a deaf man watching a film of Hitler ranting at a Nuremberg rally...’

  The rarest words ever spoken by Morse: ‘You’ve been far too generous with your rounds recently, Lewis.’

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sp; SURVEILLANCE REPORT: Morse lives at 45 The Flats, Banbury Road. He is 50 and thinks age is just beginning to cure his heart of tenderness. Morse invariably suffers indigestion if he eats in an armchair. He is a bit paunchy, more than a bit balding and has hairs sprouting in his ears. Morse hates traffic accidents. He listens to The Archers.

  People in the Thames Valley Police consider Morse an eccentric, irascible old sod. He is said to have solved more murders than anyone else in the force and his brain works as swiftly and cleanly as lightning. Bell calls him bloody odd and the cleverest bugger he’s ever met.

  The Assistant Chief Commissioner says Morse is not cut out for the public relations work required for a promotion. He doesn’t go about things the right way. With his ability, Morse could have been an ACC himself by now.

  Morse is delighted when Richards quotes Kipling’s verses about the twin impostors during the lecture. These reoccur in the TV version of The Way Through the Woods.

  Max is finally given a first name in this book. He and Morse have an antagonistic but friendly relationship. Max admires only one policeman – Morse, because the chief inspector expresses profound contempt for the timid twaddle produced by pathologists.

  In a poll of Inspector Morse Society members, The Dead of Jericho tied with two other novels as the third best book in the series.

  THE VERDICT: The Dead of Jericho is one of the stronger Morse novels and Dexter was rewarded with his second Silver Dagger in succession at the annual Crime Writers’ Association awards. The crucial question in this book is not who killed George Jackson but how – Charles Richards has an airtight alibi for the time of the murder, an alibi provided by Morse himself!

  Morse forces his way into events and eventually solves the case. But he is haunted by the emotional cost of his discoveries. The novel is pervaded by an overwhelming sense of melancholy, so redolent of the series.

  THE RIDDLE OF THE THIRD MILE

  ‘Shut up a minute! And for Christ’s sake try to follow what I’m telling you! It’s hard enough for me!’ A headless corpse is the first clue in a tale of revenge, betrayal and double-dealing calculated to baffle the best brains.

  FIRST PUBLISHED: 1983

  STORYLINE: In November 1942, three brothers serve in the British Army at El Alamein. Albert Gilbert encounters Lieutenant Browne-Smith. The officer is stricken by cowardice. Two weeks later Albert learns his brother John has died. Decades afterwards, Albert sees the name Browne-Smith again...

  Dr Browne-Smith receives a strange letter at his rooms in Lonsdale College, Oxford. He shares a landing with Geography don George Westerby. The letter entices Browne-Smith to London.

  He goes to the Flamenco Topless Bar in Soho, where he is watched by a bearded man. Browne-Smith is sent from there to an address in Russell Square, which seems to be a high-class brothel. The block of flats includes one for sale by the firm of Brooks and Gilbert. The don meets a prostitute called Yvonne. She gives him a drugged drink and Browne-Smith seems to pass out. The bearded man enters the room...

  The Master of Lonsdale College invites Morse to lunch. The master is going on holiday and wants Morse to look for Browne-Smith. The philosophy don has disappeared, leaving a note full of uncharacteristic grammatical errors.

  Nearly two weeks later, a man’s body is discovered in the canal at Thrupp, near Oxford. The head, hands and legs are missing. Part of a letter is found in a pocket. Morse studies the recovered letter and extrapolates its text from the surviving fragments. The letter seeks advance information on exam results, with an offer of sexual delights as payment.

  The inspector visits Browne-Smith’s rooms in college. Across the landing Westerby’s room is being emptied by removal men. Morse types out a version of the letter found on the corpse, using Westerby’s typewriter. Among the possessions already packed is what looks like a human head. The removal men’s boss, Mr Gilbert, unwraps the head – it is a bust of a Flemish geographer. Gilbert has a scarf around his lower jaw. He says he has an abscess. Morse believes Westerby’s typewriter was used to type the letter found on the corpse, along with the note left by Browne-Smith. Morse learns the don had terminal brain cancer.

  Morse talks to the Vice-Master of Lonsdale, who says Westerby and Browne-Smith blamed each other for preventing them becoming Master during a secret ballot five years ago. Lewis proves that the suit on the corpse belonged to Browne-Smith.

  The inspector is sent a letter by Browne-Smith. The don tried to make the police think the corpse was him. Browne-Smith writes about recognising a removal man as a soldier he encountered at El Alamein during a moment of cowardice. Soon after, Browne-Smith received the letter later found on the corpse. He went to London but only pretended to be drugged by the prostitute. He took his old army revolver with him. The corpse was deliberately dumped in Thrupp to ensure the inspector was given the case.

  Lewis discovers John Gilbert committed suicide, but the incident was hushed up. Westerby owns one of the 12 cottages at Thrupp.

  Morse retraces Browne-Smith’s steps to the address near Russell Square – the same address where Westerby has bought a retirement flat. The inspector initially gets no reply, but later a porter called Hoskins lets him in. They visit Westerby’s flat, where the bust has already been unwrapped. Hoskins says he was paid by the brothers Gilbert to stay away on the day Browne-Smith came to visit.

  Morse goes upstairs to the recently sold flat. One of the wardrobes is locked. Morse finds a screwdriver and uses it to break open the door. Inside is a dead man, blood still oozing from a wound in his back. Hoskins faints at the sight. Morse gets the porter’s address, then sends him home before calling the police. The inspector recognises the corpse as the man he saw in Westerby’s rooms at Lonsdale. He finds an address card on the body.

  Morse goes to the address on the card. On the way he realises the screwdriver was probably the murder weapon. At the address the inspector meets Albert Gilbert’s wife, Emily. She admits being involved with the attempt to ensnare Browne-Smith. Morse tells her Albert is dead. Emily says her husband wanted to live with Yvonne. She gives Yvonne’s address to Morse. Soon after the inspector leaves, the real Albert Gilbert returns home.

  Yvonne admits most of her limited part in events to Morse. Three days later, George Westerby returns to his flat, no longer pretending to be Hoskins. He murdered Alfred Gilbert in response to blackmail demands. Westerby removes the severed head and hands from inside the crates. He dumps the hands in a toilet at Paddington Station. The don puts the head in a rubbish skip on Platform One. Westerby returns to his hotel room, where he is murdered by Albert Gilbert. Browne-Smith, meanwhile, tries returning to Oxford but dies on the way.

  Morse has divers search the canal. They find a leg cut from the corpse by a passing boat’s propeller. News of Browne-Smith’s and Westerby’s deaths reaches the detectives. Albert Gilbert then commits suicide after his wife leaves him.

  Morse explains to Lewis how events probably unfolded. It was Albert who first saw Browne-Smith. Alfred took over, wearing a scarf to disguise his appearance. The Gilberts lured the don to Russell Square. Browne-Smith told Alfred that John committed suicide. The don decided to re-run the plan, this time luring Westerby to a different address. Browne-Smith and Westerby talk, realising they share a common enemy. The two dons lure a third man to London, who is murdered by Browne-Smith. The corpse found at Thrupp belonged to the Master of Lonsdale College. He was the man whose vote prevented both Westerby and Browne-Smith becoming Master.

  Months later the disembodied head is found on a rubbish tip.

  UNLUCKY IN LOVE: Morse upsets the Lonsdale College secretary over the phone, but shows more interest when told she’s lovely. Even Lewis considers her very beautiful. Morse and the secretary finally meet at the end of the novel. Morse is quite taken with her – until she brings her fiancée into the conversation.

  DRINK UP, LEWIS: Morse decides a few days of virtually total abstinence are urgently demanded. By 11.30 am he accepts an invitation to lunch with the M
aster, with a couple of snifters first. He has three glasses of Gin and French.

  Morse was buying a pint of beer at the New Theatre when he first met the love of his life. He bought her and a friend a gin and tonic each.

  The inspector, Lewis and Max go to the Boat Inn at Thrupp after examining the corpse. The pub isn’t open so they purchase a bottle of Glenfiddich. Lewis is not even offered a drop. Max describes the drink as nectar.

  Morse washes down six painkillers with whisky when he gets toothache.

  Morse buys a bottle of spirits on the way home one night and makes significant inroads into it.

  He drinks with the Vice-Master while Lewis searches Browne-Smith’s rooms. Afterwards Morse arrives early at the Mitre pub for a rendezvous with his sergeant.

  Unusually, Lewis has half a pint of bitter at the Boat Inn while Morse is in London. The inspector demands a large Scotch at the topless bar. Morse walks past the Duke of Cambridge to investigate the flats near Russell Square.

  The inspector drinks pints at the Manor Hotel, then has two double Scotches at the Richmond Arms before visiting Yvonne. Unsurprisingly, she notices he has been drinking. He turns down her offer of a drink – temporarily.

  As the case concludes, the detectives have a pint at the Boat Inn.

  The wine is plentiful when Morse attends a supper for the new Master of Lonsdale. The inspector slips away to the Mitre for a pint. Red wine always makes him sentimental and thirsty.

  ONE FOR THE MORGUE: Another bumper crop in this novel. First to die is the Master of Lonsdale, shot through the head by Browne-Smith. Alfred Gilbert is murdered when Westerby plunges a screwdriver into his back. Westerby is strangled by Albert Gilbert. Browne-Smith dies of cancer. Albert Gilbert commits suicide by jumping to his death.

  MURDERS: three. BODY COUNT: five.

  INCREASE YOUR VOCABULARY: Browne-Smith hopes passengers on a train journey notice his cruciverbalistic (crossword-solving) competence. The Master says Browne-Smith is contemptuous about any solecism (deviation from correct grammar) in English usage. Morse adumbrates (indicates faintly) his stranger thoughts to Lewis. The name Wendy Spencer trips trochaically (with a metrical foot of two syllables, long and short) across Morse’s brain. The inspector presents Lewis with his eschatology (final judgment) of the case.