Alien in the Family

by Gini Koch

  Michael looked embarrassed. “I named it for him.”

  “Can’t wait. Spill it.”

  “Fuzzball.”

  “Again, fits.” I figured I’d ask Christopher and Reader what names they’d given theirs later. Reader was too far away, and Christopher was in the midst of getting the “you look just like your mother except” song all relatives seem to love doing. Victoria seemed to think he wasn’t getting enough to eat, which, considering we normally ate at the Dulce Commissary of a Million and One Food Options was sort of funny. Christopher didn’t seem uncomfortable with the attention, of course.

  Martini got a different kind of farewell, from both Victoria and Alexander. Fond, but very formal. Even their hugs were more formal than for anyone else. I decided to worry about this later.

  Though Martini, of course, caught the worry. At least if his wink at me was any indication. He nodded, and I knew what that meant.

  “Victoria, Alex, Leonidas, it’s been real. We need to roll, however.”

  Kitty is ready now? ACE asked.

  Yep. Let’s rock and roll, big guy. I looked around at my team. We all looked as though we needed a really long vacation. “Guys, let’s get our bedraggled flock out of Dodge.”

  I felt ACE gather us up where we were standing. He tossed me, though, straight at Martini. Who caught me easily, flipped my legs around his waist, and kissed me. We did a reverse time warp, I guess. I wasn’t paying attention to anything other than Martini’s kiss. And this time, since it wasn’t going to be the last kiss of his I’d ever have, it wasn’t bittersweet—it was the best ever.

  CHAPTER 57

  I FELT A GENTLE JOLT. Martini ended our kiss. “You actually thought I’d choose them over you?”

  “You’re a protector. Good of the many and all that.”

  “Not over you. Never again—no one and nothing else over you—you understand?”

  I nodded and again managed not to cry. Martini shifted me to his hip, and we took a look around. ACE landed us back pretty much where we’d been. All of Animal Planet was still with us, which made sense since their ships were here.

  Kitty, ACE must go back to Paul. If ACE stays any longer with Kitty, ACE will destabilize.

  I understand. ACE? Thank you again. For everything.

  Our world to protect and love.

  Yes. I looked up at Martini. “Jeff, we need to get to Paul.”

  Gower wasn’t that far away from us. He looked crappy. Reader helped him over. “Hope he can handle the transfer back.”

  “I can,” Gower said. He put out his hand and I took it. The heavy-duty electric charge went through me and finally stopped. I leaned my head against Martini’s shoulder until the dizziness and nausea passed.

  Gower straightened up. I saw his body repair itself even faster than A-C normal. “ACE doesn’t like you hurt?”

  “Nope. Thankfully.” Gower looked around. “We need to get everybody healed.”

  “Let’s see if telecommunications is back or if we still have reason to curse Bitch Leader and her gang.” My purse was nearby, but Martini pulled his phone out so I didn’t have to get out of his arms. I was more than okay with this.

  “I have a dial tone.” Martini looked around. “We need to verify that all bases are still secured.” He was back to full Commander Mode. Other phones came out, and it was business as usual.

  Martini dialed. “Dad? Yes, we’re all still alive. Yes, all the nice people from the A-C solar system, too. Yes, they’re dead. Your father, too,” he added quietly. “Huh? Yeah, the Poofs, ah, ate him.” Martini’s eyebrow rose. “Okay, yeah, we all agreed with their choice. Yeah, no loss at all, believe me. Kitty installed Alexander as the new king. Yes, we were on the home world. No, we didn’t want to stay. Long story.”

  He sighed. “Yes, I brought it back with me,” he muttered. “I’ll give it to you when we see you. What? What do you mean it’s mine now? I don’t want it!” Martini was quiet, but the look on his face said he was losing whatever argument he was having with Alfred.

  “Yes, of course I’ll take care of it,” he said finally, in a tone of total resignation. “Kitty has one, too. So do some of the others. Look, can we talk about this later? What do you mean it’s important? I think the safety of our people and our bases is more important. Fine, fine, look, really, is everyone in Vegas okay? Uncle Richard? Kitty’s family? Good. How about the kids? Good. Okay, we’ll clean up here, be back there sometime in the next few hours. What do you mean you’ll all be up? It’s the middle of the night! In fact, it’s heading toward dawn. What? Are you kidding me? Okay, fine, fine. Go back to the craps table, so sorry to bother you with all that end of the world stuff. Yes, love you, too.”

  He closed his phone. “Well, that was . . . odd.”

  “Is your dad okay that his father got . . . eaten?”

  “Yep.” Martini shook his head. “Apparently Leonidas wasn’t making nice and covering up in regard to the Poofs. If the Poofs eat anyone in the royal family, it’s because they’ve made a determination a better ruler’s at hand, just like he said. So, if you’re eaten, you deserved it.”

  “Wow. That’s a lot of power given to fluffy bundles of fur.”

  “Tell me about it.” Martini eyed Poofikins, who’d crawled up onto my shoulder. “You sure you want to keep them?”

  “The Poofs rock. They ate Adolphus, not you, me, Alexander, or Renata.”

  “Good point.”

  “How’s everyone else?”

  “Oh, just fine. They’re all at the craps tables. Apparently your Nana Sadie is a craps queen and has been showing off her technique. The few who aren’t playing craps are either at the blackjack tables or, God help us, in the baccarat room.”

  “Who’s in the baccarat room?” Kevin and Chuckie both started to snort laughter. “Oh, no. You’re kidding me. My mom’s playing baccarat?”

  “Gotta figure,” Kevin said with a grin. “We call her Jane Bond at the office.” I learned new things about my mother every day. “By the way, Jeff, thanks again.”

  “For what?” Martini asked.

  “For getting my wife and kids stashed with the others in Florida. I just talked to her—the kids are all having a blast, but she was glad to be there to give Gladys a hand.”

  “You’re part of the team, you get the same security,” Martini said with a shrug.

  “Never stop appreciating it.”

  I could see the Animal Planet folks were getting ready to leave. “Jeff, need down for a minute.” He released me slowly. I found my shoes and grabbed my purse. There, properly dressed again.

  Felicia was hurt, but she was going to be okay. Willem and Wrolph were both injured as well but also seemed likely to recover. Wrolph was being tended to by Claudia again, and I got the distinct impression he had a crush on her, if his tail wagging when she looked at him was indicative.

  Neeraj was looking beaten up, but not too terrible. The rest of the Animal Planet folks were similar.

  “You all leaving now?” I tried not to sound disappointed and failed.

  Queen Renata nodded. “We have done what we came to do, in that sense. You have many things to get back to.”

  “Yeah, uh, that’s sort of why . . . hang on a second.” I stepped off a bit and dug out my cell phone. “Mom? How’s the baccarat room?”

  “Fine. I’m winning. This is a bad time.”

  “I’m alive. We saved the world.”

  “Good. Need to concentrate.” Nice to see where her priorities truly were.

  “Mom, did you ever get a hold of Amy, Sheila, and Caroline for me?”

  She heaved a sigh. “Yes. Sheila was flattered that you wanted her to be in your wedding, but what with the delay in your making any kind of decision, she’s had time to find out she’s expecting number four and would rather die than try to shove into a bridesmaid dress, even though she’s probably only barely showing. They can’t come, either, expenses. And her husband would be insulted if we offered to pay.”

&nb
sp; “Okay.” I couldn’t be hurt—reality was what it was. “How about Amy?”

  “Can’t come now, can’t come in six weeks. Talked to her right before telecommunications went down worldwide. She was assigned a huge case because, let me mention, she wasn’t able to say when exactly she needed to come to the States until it was too late. She can’t leave for the next few months. Career-making kind of thing.” Amy was a corporate lawyer working in Paris for one of the huge conglomerates. The only stuff she did was career-making, so again, not a surprise. “She’s sending you an overwhelmingly too generous gift to make up for it.”

  “Okay. That’ll be nice. Caroline?” I held out no expectations.

  “Caroline could have come in six weeks because she apparently knows you well enough to have arranged for a week off any time one to four months from now.”

  “Wow.” Cool. I had three bridesmaids. “That’s a perk.”

  “Well, the senator loves her. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to get that kind of consideration. However, at this moment she’s in Paraguay with a full senatorial team on a fact-finding mission, and even if they’d let her leave, by the time she could get here, it would all be over.”

  “Ah.” Okay. Back to two bridesmaids. “Such is life. What facts are they finding?”

  “It’s need to know, and you definitely don’t.” Mom’s tone shifted. “Kitten, are you really okay?”

  “I think so. I’ll know in a few minutes. Go back to the baccarat, Missus Bond.”

  “Hilarious. Love you. See you soon, I hope.”

  “Yeah. Love you, too.” As I hung up, Reader ran over to me.

  “Girlfriend, Jeff’s asked Kevin to be in the wedding party, too. I tried to shut him up, but he was clueless. I’m amazed he hasn’t asked Reynolds at the rate he’s going. You want me to get him to retract?”

  “Hopefully not.” I went back to the Animal Planet girls. Reader came with me. I grabbed Jareen. “This request is going to make me sound like the most friendless soul in two solar systems. I have a lot of friends. Most of them don’t know what I do or who I hang with. My two best girlfriends from high school and my best girlfriend from college can’t come to my wedding for a variety of human real-life issues. My other two best girlfriends are already in my wedding,” I pointed to Lorraine and Claudia.

  “But Jeff’s got, at last count, six guys standing up with him. I’ll understand if you don’t want to, or if you want to just get home and out of our boondocks part of the universe, but . . . I’d really like it if you’d be my maid or matron of honor. Maid is if you’re single, matron is if you’re married.”

  Jareen cocked her head. “But he’s your best friend.” She pointed to Reader.

  “Yeah, he is. But on Earth, he’s a guy so he stands on the guy side. He’ll be up there, but with the other men. Same with Chuckie. Can’t ask him since he’s a guy.”

  “The person of honor?”

  I shrugged. “Soul sisters are hard to come by.”

  She grinned. “I would love to. Neeraj would be better off if we didn’t travel for a few days anyway.”

  I hugged her. “Thanks. No one I’d rather have up there with me than a Giant Lizard.”

  “I look forward to seeing how the Naked Apes join together. I am a matron. Neeraj and I have been mated for a hundred years.”

  “Wow, really? You look like, twenty-five. In lizard years, I mean.”

  She grinned again. “We live a long time. In lifespan comparison, I am about your age.”

  “Works for me.” I moved off to Queen Renata, Felicia, and Wahoa. “This will sound like—”

  Wahoa put her paw up. “We Major Doggies have really good hearing, Friendless Naked Ape. Remember?” She grinned as only a dog could. “Dogs are supposedly man’s best friend on this planet, but I only get to be a bridesmaid?”

  I laughed. “Had to go with the soul sister.”

  Claudia snorted. “We’ve known her longer, and we’re only at bridesmaid rank.” She grinned at me. “We know it’s because you couldn’t figure out which one of us to ask without hurting the other’s feelings.”

  “How did you know that?” Reader coughed. “Oh.” Duh. Reader was pretty much taking care of everything. A suspicion tickled, but I let it pass for now. “Felicia, will you be up to it?”

  She nodded. “Your doctors are very good.” Lorraine had been working on her. “I would be honored. All Naked Apes need a good Cat Person around.”

  “Renata?”

  She smiled at me. “I am honored to be a part of this. Besides, I’m on the Giant Lizard vessel.”

  “What do we wear?” Felicia asked.

  “Ummm . . . no idea whatsoever.”

  Reader coughed. “Handled. Trust me. Or will be.”

  “You’re just Mister Helpy Helper, aren’t you, James?”

  He flashed the cover-boy grin. I noted it worked on all the females, even Queen Renata. Figured he knew that and used the power for good. “Babe, let’s just say that someone has to take care of things and leave it at that.”

  Martini came over. “We have medical teams on the way, should be here momentarily. We’ve gone too long without full medical on some of the injured.”

  “Are we losing someone?” My stomach clenched.

  “Me, to pain, agony, and boredom,” Tim called out.

  “Me, too,” Jerry said. “The rest of the guys are complaining that they’re not in the wedding party, Jeff.”

  Martini opened his mouth.

  “NO!” Wow, Reader and I were now doing the unison thing.

  Martini snapped his mouth shut.

  “Sorry, guys. The only way that would work is for you to draw lots for which two of you were putting on a bridesmaid’s dress. I’m out of females I want up there with me.” I thought about it. “Well, I could add on one more.”

  “Great!” Martini said.

  “One, Jeff. Only one.”

  “Great!” He looked really guilty.

  “Jeff . . . who did you already ask?”

  He mumbled something.

  “Come again, can’t hear you.”

  “Alexander.”

  I let that one sit on the air. “Um . . . how?”

  Martini looked hugely guilty again. I tapped my foot. He heaved a sigh. “I asked ACE to ask him. He said yes. He’s really excited about it.” He looked guilty and embarrassed. “I just want it to be . . . special.”

  “And huge. Fine.” I thought about it. “He just became king because his great-uncle was Poof Chow. The solar system’s in disarray. We’re getting married really soon. How the hell can he come?”

  Martini shrugged. “No idea, but he said he could.”

  Chuckie joined us. “It’ll be fine. From what Leonidas told me, he’s been waiting for this day.”

  “You two weren’t chatting all that long.”

  “He implanted the information.”

  “What?”

  “It’s something many of us are able to do,” Martini said quietly. I’d known Terry had put an implant into Martini, of course. To find me, as it had turned out. And I’d also known he’d passed that implant along to me. It just hadn’t occurred to me that other A-Cs could do it as well.

  “Oh. They don’t hurt,” I added, because Martini was looking the way he always did whenever the implant subject came up, which was guilty and ashamed. “And they’re useful.”

  “Yes, they are,” Chuckie agreed.

  “You didn’t pass out.” I had, when Martini had put Terri’s implant into me.

  Chuckie shrugged. “I think it’s different when you’re forewarned. I felt a little woozy, but it wasn’t an issue. And, I have a clear understanding of the political situation in the entire Alpha Centauri solar system. Or,” he added with a grin, “I have the view Leonidas wants me to have.”

  “He is a politician,” Martini said. “You sure you can trust anything he told you?”

  “Most of it correlates to what we’ve been told already. I’ll confirm the rest with
the Planetary Council. I assume they’re staying for the wedding?”

  “Yeah, because—”

  “You’re out of bridesmaid options, and they all know what’s going on,” Chuckie finished for me.

  “Right as always!” I’d said that too cheerfully, if Martini’s low growl was any indication. “But I need one more,” I added quickly, before the growling got louder. “Be right back. Behave,” I added to Martini as I raced off. Hey, I’d had enough fighting for one night.

  I looked around, found her, and trotted over. “Serene, you willing to be one of my bridesmaids?”

  She looked shocked out of her mind and pleased beyond belief. “Really? You really want me? After all the . . . stuff . . . from six months ago?”

  “You were drugged. Jeff was too, and I still want him. So, yeah. I didn’t ask before because I had no idea Jeff was going insane with the groomsmen numbers.” I looked at Brian, whose head was in her lap. He was still hurt, but he looked as though he might pull through. “Bri, I don’t care if Jeff begs you. Unless James or I say yes, you are to say no if he asks you to be a groomsman. Oh, and stop playing dead.”

  “Got it.” He grinned. “I just like how Serene takes care of me.”

  She giggled. “I like it. And, yes, Kitty, thank you so much for asking me!”

  “Thank you so much for saying yes. Oh, and, I’d like you to join Airborne, while I’m thinking about it.”

  “Why? I’m a scientist.”

  “You’re an explosives expert and the only A-C capable of seeing through both shapeshifters and imageers with an overlay on. I call those vitally strategic skills we need at the highest levels. You can fool around in the lab on the off days.”

  “You ever stop with the hiring?” Reader asked.

  “You find the talent, you grab the talent before the competition does.”

  “Right. Reminds me, we need a good story for your family.”

  “Ugh. Let’s get everyone healed up or at least headed that way first.” An impressive number of Dazzlers were appearing out of nowhere. They fanned out and started doing very fast things. Gurneys appeared. All my pilots were loaded onto them, with much whining and complaining. Tim and Christopher were also gurneyed up with a lot more whining and complaining.