Playing With Fate

by Ava Thorpe

  “Luke,” he replied, shaking Josh’s hand. He flushed at Josh’s obvious interest. It had been a while since he’d met someone who was so very obviously coming on to him. “Yeah, I walk dogs for an agency, so I’m here often.”

  “Luke. That’s a nice name.” He winked at Luke, as he gave a treat to his own dog. “And really? Guy as cute as you? I think I would have remembered you.”

  He tried to muster up the energy to flirt back, but he came up short. He just…wasn’t interested. Josh was adorable, but Luke just felt flat.

  He wasn’t Carter.

  “Not interested, huh?” Josh said, grinning.

  Luke laughed softly. “I—I’m sorry, I’m just, you know.”

  Josh held up his hand to stop him. “Ah, boyfriend, then. Say no more. I should have guessed someone as cute as you would be taken,” he said. “Too bad.”

  He should have corrected Josh’s assumption, but Luke didn’t exactly want to elaborate on his complicated, near hopeless situation to a virtual stranger.

  “It was nice meeting you, though,” Luke said. Then he crouched down and patted Lola gently. “You too, Lola.”

  Josh gave him a big smile before leaving with Lola, and Luke almost considered calling him back. But what was the use?

  His stupid heart was smitten with Puck’s owner.

  “I hate your owner, you know that, right?” he told Puck as they started jogging again. “I don’t know why I keep saving myself for him.”

  Puck just gave him his patented puppy eyes. Some help he was.

  They jogged for another half an hour, before Luke started to slow them down. He was hoping to tire out Puck, and he was more or less successful. Puck went into his car without question, and Luke shut the door gently behind him.

  He turned on the radio, tuning into the hockey game going on. It sounded like the Admirals were winning, from the way the announcers were excitedly talking about the team. They were at an intermission break, and Luke perked up when he heard them say Carter’s name.

  “Welling just hasn’t been performing in peak form today. It looks like he’s been demoted off LeBlanc’s line for the remainder of the game. Too bad, he was showing so much promise,” one of the announcers said.

  Luke changed the station before he could hear the other announcer’s response.

  He needed to talk to Carter about what happened. Sure, maybe Carter wasn’t into him. Maybe yesterday was just a fluke that wasn’t going to happen again.

  But maybe it wasn’t. What if Carter felt the same way? What if he just had a momentary panic?

  Either way, Luke needed to get closure. He likely wasn’t going to be able to move on from Carter until he got the truth.

  When they reached the condo, Luke let Puck into the unit. Taking off his shoes, he went into the kitchen to get Puck’s kibble. The game should be ending soon, and Carter should be home in a couple of hours, at the latest. What if Luke waited for him?

  There was a part of Luke that felt uncomfortable with the idea, if he was being honest. At the end of the day, as much as their friendship had blossomed, he was still just Carter’s dog-walker.

  What other choice did he have, though? If Carter wasn’t going to talk to him, reach out to him, then he needed to take matters into his own hands.

  Making up his mind, Luke sat on the couch. He pulled out his phone and opened his e-reader app, just as Puck came up to his feet and rested.

  He was going to wait for Carter.

  Chapter Twelve

  Carter

  There was no denying Carter had a shit game. He wasn’t focused, his passes were all over the place, his skating ugly and slow. It wasn’t just him, thankfully, as terrible as it was to wish a bad game on anyone else. The whole team didn’t play well. Luckily for them, Toronto played worse. It was sloppy all around, but Carter was still glad for the win. Losing to Toronto was always brutal, more so than any other losses, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle the Toronto team’s smug looks after everything else.

  The drive back to his condo was quick. He just wanted to go home, see his dog, and try to forget about the last two days. He couldn’t let his personal life affect his work, but it was clear from his performance today that his woes were seeping into his game play.

  All he could think about was Luke.

  Luke and his velvety smooth lips.

  God, he still couldn’t believe he kissed Luke. He couldn’t even recall what prompted him to do it. In that time, in that moment, it had just felt right. It made sense, like it was the best decision in the world. He couldn’t say he regretted it either. Not in the moment, at least.

  Luke kissed like he looked—gentle, sweet, with a hint of playfulness and quiet ferocity that Carter hadn’t expected. He loved the way Luke tasted, loved the way Luke moaned into his mouth, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to scrub that memory from his mind.

  He wasn’t sure he wanted to.

  “Fuck,” he said, frustrated, slamming his fist onto his steering wheel once he’d parked his truck. Why did he push Luke away? It was clear that Luke was interested in him, too. His chest burned thinking about the way Luke looked when Carter pushed him away.

  Luke looked crushed. Hurt.

  Carter hated himself a little for causing those emotions in Luke.

  He was scared, though. That was the only explanation he could think of for pushing Luke away. He was scared of what would happen after, when the dust had settled, when the kiss had ended, and all that was left was Carter reeling in its wake. He’d never kissed a man before—never even thought about kissing a man before. It was intense and more than a little bit petrifying.

  It wasn’t an excuse, he knew that. It certainly wasn’t a good enough excuse for ghosting Luke and his texts, but Carter didn’t know what to do then.

  Hell, he still didn’t know what to do now.

  Slowly, he turned the knob on his door and waited for Puck to pounce on him. When Puck didn’t come, he immediately called out for his boy. “Puck? Buddy, where are you?”

  Puck whined softly and lazily from the living room, and that was when Carter stopped in his tracks.

  Luke was here. He’d fallen asleep on the couch, his lithe frame slumped over the arm rest. He looked peaceful, like an angel. Carter almost didn’t want to wake him up. Nervously, he walked towards the living room, careful to muffle his steps.

  He was torn. Abstractly, he knew why Luke was here. It was clear that Luke had wanted to talk about last night from the text he sent Carter, and Luke was nothing if not tenacious. Carter didn’t know if he was ready to talk, but looking down at Luke, seeing the way he fit so comfortably in Carter’s home, Carter felt a deep-seated need twist through his gut.

  He didn’t know what was happening to him, but he knew he couldn’t let Luke go. Not even if he tried.

  “Luke?” he said quietly, gently shaking Luke’s shoulders.

  Luke opened his eyes groggily, slowly taking stock of his surroundings. It was easy to see the moment he’d spotted Carter, because he straightened himself up, his mouth coming to a thin line. His eyes were steely and determined. “Carter, you’re here,” he said.

  Carter nodded, taking a seat on the arm chair across from Luke. “I didn’t realize you’d be here,” he said, not really knowing what else to say. He felt like he should be upset with Luke for breaking his privacy like this, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t also a little bit thankful that Luke had the courage to stay and seek him out.

  Luke slumped his shoulders at that. “Sorry, I—I know I shouldn’t have abused my key privileges like this, but I needed to see you, Carter,” he said with quiet determination. Combing his fingers through his hair, Luke breathed deeply. “You can throw me out if you want, but not until we talk. Please.”

  His voice sounded broken, making Carter wince. “I’m sorry. Luke, I—I didn’t know what came over me, and I...” Carter said, rambling.

  “You what, Carter?” Luke asked quietly, staring at hi
m expectantly. Carter wasn’t sure he could handle the intensity of Luke’s gaze.

  I wanted you. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to touch you. Except none of that came out, and Carter stumbled over his words. “I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry,” was what he said.

  Carter hung his head, closing his eyes as he battled through the words in his head. He wasn’t saying any of this right. It was like his heart wanted one thing, but his head kept saying the wrong things.

  “Oh,” Luke said quietly, defeat evident in his voice. “I guess I should just. I. Okay. That’s okay.”

  His eyes still closed, Carter heard rustling, followed by footsteps, and he knew Luke was leaving. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted Luke to stay, he wanted Luke to understand, to see what was happening in his mind. It was all very confusing and terrifying, and Carter didn’t know what to do.

  So he did the one thing that had always served him well.

  He followed his heart.

  Don’t let him leave.

  He opened his eyes, and crossed through his living room to the hallway, catching up to Luke. He placed his hand on the small of Luke’s back, turning Luke around to face him.

  “Luke,” he whispered, his voice full of emotion. Luke blinked at him, confused, but he didn’t move away. Encouraged, Carter cupped his cheek gently. “Luke, I—” Carter started to speak, but his words failed him again. He couldn’t resist Luke, couldn’t resist the gravity between them.

  He kissed him.

  It was like time stopped, and for a while, all Carter could focus on was Luke’s lips under his. The kiss was tender, achingly so. Carter couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed anyone with this much need, with this much want.

  Luke slowly pulled away from the kiss, and Carter could see the tears welling behind his eyes. “You can’t just do this to me, Carter,” he said, barely above a whisper. “You can’t fuck with my head like this.”

  He kissed Luke’s forehead, before pressing their heads together. Carter felt awful. He knew Luke was right. He needed to make a decision. He needed to stop the push and pull, and do something. “I’m sorry,” he said, kissing Luke’s cheek. “I just—everything is kind of crazy in my head right now.”

  Nodding, Luke stepped out of Carter’s reach, wrapping his arms around himself. “And I get that, I really do,” he said. “But you can’t just kiss me, and then push me away, and then kiss me again. Do you want me to stay? Do you want me to leave? I don’t know what’s happening, Carter.”

  “I don’t know either,” Carter finally admitted. He touched Luke’s elbow, needing some kind of physical contact with him, hating the way Luke had closed himself off. “I’ve never kissed a guy before. It’s new and confusing and part of me is scared shitless.”

  Luke shuttered all emotions from his face. “I get it, I do,” he said sadly. He made a move towards the door.

  Carter shook his head, frustration bubbling. He kept saying the wrong things. “That’s the last thing I want,” Carter said, stepping towards Luke. He trapped Luke against the door with his body. “I want to be honest with you. I don’t know what I’m doing or what will happen next or what’s even going on. I only know two things.”

  Luke fluttered his eyes, waiting for Carter to continue.

  “I want you.” He pressed his body against Luke’s, placing his hands on Luke’s hips. “I want to kiss you. Again and again. And if that’s enough for you right now, then please, Luke.” Carter kissed Luke’s lips lightly. “Stay,” he finished.

  Luke paused for moment. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around the back of Carter’s neck, pulling them closer together. “Okay. I can do that,” he said. “I can stay.”

  For the first time, Luke kissed him first, his tongue licking into Carter’s mouth. Carter gripped his hips tightly, unwilling to let go.

  There were a lot of words that still needed to be said and a lot in Carter’s head that needed to be sorted out, but at the end of the day, Luke was here.

  For Carter, for now, that was enough.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Carter

  Carter didn’t see Luke for another three days, and desire itched under his skin. It had been too long for his liking, but Luke had to study for an exam on Monday. Then on Tuesday, Carter had another game, and it just wasn’t possible for him to sneak home before Puck and Luke’s walk ended.

  They kept in touch via text, though, and that was the one thing that prevented Carter from going crazy. He liked hearing from Luke. He was hoping he’d be able to see him today, but he knew Luke had classes on Wednesdays. He wanted to check with Luke, anyway.

  Are you free today? Puck misses you, he texted.

  He didn’t have to wait for Luke’s reply. I saw Puck yesterday, that seems like a lie. Admit it, you’re the one who misses me.

  Carter wasn’t sure if he was ready to admit it to Luke, but he did miss him. They had ended up kissing for hours on Saturday night, something Carter had never thought he would be able to do. It was amazing—exhilarating—and he wanted to kiss Luke again.

  He was addicted.

  Do you have class? Can you come by after? Carter texted instead.

  Luke replied, You’re avoiding the question. That’s okay, I’ll get you to admit it. You miss my stunning personality.

  Laughing, Carter texted back. Something like that. Humble, too.

  Rummaging through his cabinets for Puck’s food, Carter fed him his lunch as he waited for Luke’s reply. He had been able to take him for a run early this morning, and Puck was lying on the floor near the coffee table in an exhausted heap.

  “Come on, buddy, lunch. It’s your favorite, too,” he said, trying to entice his dog into getting up. Puck looked at him balefully, before laying his head back down, his eyes closed.

  “Fine, I see you’re going to be that way.”

  His phone beeped. I can be there soon? Maybe fifteen minutes? Class is kind of a bust today, anyway. Just needed to hand in my last paper.

  Carter looked at the clock. That should give him enough time to tidy up a little. Sounds good, he texted.

  He spent the next few minutes trying to clean his condo. There were empty Gatorade bottles everywhere. It didn’t help that Puck also had a bad habit of dragging things off the couch, and making a nest in the middle of the living room floor.

  Once he was done, he sat on the couch with Puck, who’d moved to lay at Carter’s feet. He felt nervous and jittery. He also felt ridiculous, because this was Luke. There was no reason to feel nervous. They’d already gotten the awkwardness and misunderstandings out of the way.

  When Luke knocked a few minutes later, Carter jumped out of his seat, startled. He rolled his shoulders back, trying to relax.

  “No barking, okay?” he warned Puck, before going to the doorway to greet Luke.

  He opened the door, and was immediately pushed against the wall, Luke’s lips finding his. The kiss was messy, sloppy, and everything Carter had been waiting for all weekend. He clung to Luke’s hips, holding him steady, as he opened his mouth for Luke’s tongue.

  Carter felt his cheeks flushing as Luke deepened the kiss, his heart rate becoming more erratic. Luke’s hands were roaming all over his stomach, under his shirt, tracing the ridges of Carter’s abs. Wanting to return the favor, Carter trailed his fingers along the waistband of Luke’s jeans, feeling the strip of skin there.

  Luke whimpered, and Carter swallowed all of the noises coming out of him greedily. Panting, they eventually pulled away, Carter still peppering small, tiny kisses all over Luke’s face.

  “Hi,” Luke said breathily as they came down from the high.

  Carter wrapped his arms around Luke, pulling him close. He kissed Luke’s ear. “Hi.”

  “Sorry about that,” Luke said shyly. “I didn’t plan on mauling you, but you were there, looking amazing, and I couldn’t help myself.”

  “That’s the absolute last thing you should apologize for,” Carter said. He nibbled at Luke’s ear gently, and L
uke arched his neck, giving him more access. “It was hot. You should definitely greet me like that every time.”

  Luke moaned when Carter sucked on his neck. “Wouldn’t want you to, ah, get spoiled.” His voice was coming in short, jagged rasps. Carter was going to have to take note of how sensitive Luke’s neck was. He could feel the other man shiver against him as he licked a tender stripe over Luke’s neck.

  They walked unsteadily toward the couch, still tangled against each other. Carter laid Luke down on the couch, bracing himself above Luke.

  “Hi again,” he said. “You look good under me.” Carter almost regretted saying that, but Luke pulled him into another kiss.

  “Admit it, you missed me,” Luke said playfully when he let go.

  Carter smirked, his lips curling up. “Maybe a little,” he said. “But I’m willing to bet you missed me more.”

  Luke wrapped a hand around the back of Carter’s neck. “No comment,” he teased. They kissed again, the angle surprisingly awkward, but Carter didn’t care.

  He couldn’t get enough of Luke.

  Luke tasted like sunshine. His lips were so warm, and Carter caught himself in a hungry, needy kiss. Carter put some of his weight on Luke, and their lower bodies touched. Luke broke the kiss, groaning, his other hand running lightly all over Carter’s back.

  “You feel so good,” Luke said, hesitantly, like he was afraid of Carter’s reaction to his admission.

  Experimentally, Carter ground his hips down. Christ. “You feel good, too,” he said. “You feel amazing like this.”

  He could feel Luke’s hardness under him. Carter thought it would weird him out, or worse, freak him out. It didn’t happen. All he felt was want and desire. He needed to feel more of Luke, to feel just how turned on he was.

  “I don’t want to rush into anything, but god, I want to touch you.” Luke slipped his hand under Carter’s jeans. “Can I?”

  Carter didn’t need to think about it. He nodded eagerly. “Yes, anything.”