Round N Around We Go (Has Cupid Gone Mad?)

by Belinda Elkaim

  Tears of frustration roll down her cheeks as she shrugs to escape the lurking emotions.

  “Damn it!” She pouts and frowns. “I don’t want to be alone anymore!”

  Putting the bowl of melted ice cream into the sink, she attempts to evade frustration by seeking momentary distractions. With a glass of Godiva White Chocolate Liquor in hand, she walks over to her grand piano by the bay window and pulls out a stack of blank score sheets.

  Tuning in and feeling her emotions, she focuses on the melancholy of moment and begins to hum a melody. Her slender fingers strike the chords on the keyboard to back the melody in beautiful harmony, and the words come naturally as she sings it out loud. “I don’t want to be alone, every moment is cold like stone. I want to love but love hasn’t found me yet…”

  Jotting down the notes on the score sheet, she hears the phone ring and rushes to answer it. Hoping that it is Neyo calling, she finds Conrad on the phone instead.

  Conrad has loved her from the first moment he has laid eyes on her some fourteen years ago in an audition for his musical in New York. It was love at first sight for him and even though Amber has broken his heart many times and left him at the peak of her career to marry Nathan, he has never stopped loving her. Fatefully as he deems, she has entered into his life again after her divorce to become partners in her new musical. Even though she has chosen Neyo’s unattached relationship over his true love, he has refused to give up. His desire for her love has not subsided over the years and is patiently waiting for the moment to arrive when she will finally realize that they are meant to be together.

  After fifteen minutes of casual conversation over nothing important, Amber is beginning to feel impatient and would rather resume composing.

  “Conrad,” she asks sweetly, “is there anything that you’d like to tell me? If not my score sheets are waiting.”

  “Yes.” He affirms. “But only in person, so I’ll let you go back to the score sheets and I’ll tell you when I see you at the audition.”

  “Audition?” Amber blinks and tries to remember.

  “Please don’t tell me you forgot about the audition on Thursday.” Conrad pauses. “If we can’t find someone to replace Neyo then we will have a huge problem.”

  ************

  Feeling slightly overwhelmed by the stress of running his gallery independently, Karina is desperate for Theodore’s return and at the same time, is beginning to worry about him. Unable to reach him over the phone at his home in Italy, she has called all their mutual acquaintances and nobody seems to know his whereabouts, including his son Anthony, who is consumed in his own photography business and has no desire to help Karina locate his father.

  Anthony is accustomed to his father disappearing periodically and traveling around the world in pursuit of original art work, and assures Karina that this is another one of his impulse trips and she needs not worry. He will certainly reappear when his quest has been completed.

  Not entirely convinced that Anthony may be right, she hides the envelope in a secret location that only she knows and sends the roll of blank canvas to the art framer for mounting.

  Feeling a little uninspired, she decides on having an exciting night out and hopes to find her muse.

  She calls on Amber who is absorbed in composing and cannot join her. Expectedly and as usual, Taylor is home with Ivan and is unavailable for a girls’ night out.

  Getting ready to head out alone for an adventurous evening, she is surprised by Keith’s call. Perfect timing again, she thinks to herself and answers. “You always know when to get me at the most perfect timing,” she chuckles, “are you watching me?” she jokes.

  Brief silence over the phone as if he is lost with words, he then stutters nervously, “Of course not! What makes you think I’m watching you?”

  Unsuspicious of the fact that he is always there at the most perfect timing, she retracts the joke. “I was only joking.” She laughs. “Sadly so, I’m about to go out alone, would you like to come with me?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” He smiles over the phone. “I’ll pick you up at your home in fifteen minutes.”

  Content with the turn of events, Karina heads over to her closest and changes into a sexier and more revealing dress to impress him. She freshens up her makeup and as she applies her lip gloss, she suddenly remembers that Keith does not know her address. Just about to pick up the phone to call him, she finds the intercom buzzing.

  “I’m here.” Keith announces over the intercom.

  “That’s strange.” She murmurs to herself and opens the gate for him.

  She opens the door on his first knock and couldn’t help smiling. It is obvious that she likes him and it is equally obvious that he is deeply attracted to her.

  A little baffled, she asks shyly not to offend him, certainly there must be a reasonable explanation. “I never told you where I live. How do you know my address?”

  He kisses her cheek and answers with a reassuring smile. “Silly girl, you remember the night we met, you just moved to North Miami and got lost? You followed me back to Biscayne and you mentioned last time that you live in an art loft. There is only one art loft on Biscayne in North Miami. It’s not difficult to figure it out.” He steps into her loft and watches her close the door behind them.

  “That’s amazing, but I’ll have to be careful my words now.” She chuckles. “It’s only six p.m and still early for dinner, would you like a glass of wine before we go?”

  “Sure, whatever you like.” He follows her into the kitchen. Scanning around her home and paying attention to all the details, he compliments her on her unique taste in art. “Are these your work?” He admires the paintings on the wall.

  She hands him a goblet of white wine. “Yes, all my originals. A hundred years from now, they might be worth something.” She laughs.

  He looks deeply into her eyes and engages her gaze, as if magnetized, slowly they inch towards each other and their lips are about the touch when her phone rings to interrupt the enchanting moment. She smiles girlishly and leans back, “I’m expecting an important call; I’ll be right back.” She touches his hand gently and hurries to the phone.

  He takes a sip of the wine, turns around and pretends to admire her paintings while listening intently to her conversation over the phone.

  “This is Karina.” Silence fills her loft as she listens to the other party speaking over the phone. After a brief moment she continues, “What do you mean you can’t mount it?” She questions the art framer and rolls her eyes while listening to him, “Fine, I’ll pick it up tomorrow morning. Thanks Pedro.”

  Karina puts the phone in her purse and walks over to Keith. “Sorry about that but the art framer has a little problem with one of my canvases. I’ll take care of that in the morning.” She smiles and touches his hand again.

  He holds her hand firmly and smiles, “It’s still early, I wouldn’t mind picking that up with you now so you’ll have one less thing to take care of tomorrow.”

  “Are you sure?” She asks, “It’s not much fun over there. Besides, I think we’re both over dressed for the art framer’s warehouse.” She chuckles and wonders if he is merely suggesting that because he is a gentleman, or if he is curious in nature and would like to find out more about her work.

  As if he can read her mind, “Only if you want to. But if it can wait, of course I’d like to take you out somewhere nice instead.” He smiles and pulls her closer.

  Tugged within his sturdy arms, a warm sensation rushes through her body and sends chills up her spine. She wants him badly but there is something about him that makes her hesitant.

  Instinctively she pulls back and decides to fight off her desire for him. She must wait and learn more about him before she gives him more than she should.

  Discreetly, he hopes that she is unaware of his arousal. He knows that he should not be there but could not resist the temptation of seeing her again. He is risking his everything by being in her presence and allowing
himself to get too close to her.

  He couldn’t stay away and it might be too late. He is falling in love with her and he is fully aware that this could only mean trouble. Deceit and truth can never coincide and can only collide.

  He understands the principle that paper does not hold fire, and that one day in the near future, the truth about him will erupt and someone will likely get burned, but he is willing to take a selfish chance and cherishes their moments for however long they would remain together in each other’s world.

  Chapter Five.

  Ivan opens the door and comes home to their condo filled with the welcoming scent of blackcurrant candles lit throughout the living room. Content with the pretty sight, he enters the kitchen and finds Taylor slaving over the countertop dicing bell peppers of all colors. Butterflied chicken breasts are being sautéed in the frying pan and a side of wild rice pilaf is warmed inside the oven.

  “Dinner is almost ready.” She proudly announces and welcomes him home with open arms. “Are you hungry?”

  He walks over, embraces her from behind and kisses her gently on the neck. “Famished.” He smiles and hugs her tightly. “Dinner looks amazing. Do I have time to take a quick shower?”

  “How quick?” She teases him and watches him disappear into their bedroom.

  Romance is apparent and Taylor feels extremely fortunate to have found love. Part of her is content but at times she feels as if she is losing herself and is turning into someone whom she isn’t. Disregarding her doubts and in best efforts, she is trying to convince herself that this is exactly what she wants.

  She dresses the table perfectly, pairs dinner with a bottle of chilled Sauvignon Blanc and waits for him.

  Hair dripping wet and swept back, Ivan returns in a white muscle shirt and slacks, joins her at the table and toasts to another beautiful day in their love nest.

  Halfway through dinner, she remembers to advice him of the change in schedule for the next day. “Dr. Steven’s office called today and asked to reschedule your physical. He has an emergency tomorrow and can’t see you, so I rescheduled it to Friday for you.”

  Ivan takes a sip of the wine and digests the intake. He pauses and looks at her blankly, “Why didn’t you ask me first? I have a full schedule on Friday. I can’t fit in one more thing to do.” He puts down his goblet and appears annoyed.

  Missing his cue, Taylor continues innocently, “That’s alright, I moved one of your afternoon appointments to Monday so you’ll have enough time to do the physical on Friday.”

  Ivan finds it unreasonable and speaks slowly. Incautious with his word choice he asks blankly, “Wait a minute, you were home the entire day and weren’t even in the office, how did you manage to mess up my agenda without checking with me first?”

  Finding his reaction a little overrated, she answers him shortly, “I changed it in the online schedule and I did not mess anything up. Instead of the two hours gym time, you can go for the physical. The doctor is leaving for a vacation next week and Friday is the only time he can see you, otherwise it will have to wait until he comes back in three weeks, which is when we’re leaving for New York.”

  Ivan leans back in his chair and appears upset. “It doesn’t matter. You should have checked with me first, I don’t want anyone messing around with my agenda.”

  “So I’m just ‘anyone’ now?” Taylor leans back in her chair as well and her appetite seems to have vanished. “Is that why my work isn’t even taken seriously?”

  Impatiently he laughs. Ivan puts his napkin on the plate and pushes it away. “I am the one who should be upset and yet you find a way to turn this around and be upset with me? You’re being impossible Taylor, what ‘work’ of yours am I not taking seriously?”

  Ego surges, she feels necessary to win this argument. She needs to feel important and not secondary. She needs to be prioritized and not be neglected. She needs to be in control and not be controlled. She is lost and blunts out carelessly, “My book. You’re not taking it seriously and have been pushing the publication date for months!”

  Ivan pauses and stares at her in disbelief. Silence fills their home for a moment that feels like eternity. “Is that what it’s all about? Do you think I’m stalling the publishing date? Is that why you’ve been acting erratically? One minute you shower me with love and tenderness then another minute you open fire with displeasure? This has been ongoing for weeks and it has to stop.”

  All her life she vied for freedom and avoided all possibilities of attachment until he came into the picture. She allowed them a chance to be together but is finding it more difficult than she imagined.

  Feeling unenthusiastic and too exhausted to further explain, she casually brushes off the conversation, “You’re way over analyzing all this. Fine, I won’t burden you with my thoughts anymore.” Dryly she clears the dining table.

  Ivan sighs and watches her remove the plates from the table. “Fine, now withdraw and walk away. Provoke me then shut down. It seems to me that you’re picking fights to break us up. Do you want to see us fall apart?”

  Saddened by his words which triggered even more conflicting thoughts in her mind, she bites her lower lip, turns her back on him and whispers audibly, “I think we just did.”

  Disappointed with her reaction, he covers his face with one hand and watches her hover over the kitchen sink to rinse off the dishes. Exasperated by her unreasonableness and overwhelmed by confusion, he decides to put their love to a test.

  “Taylor I love you, but I think you need a break,” he begins slowly, “and I am going to give it you.”

  Taylor freezes upon his words. Still like a statue, she chokes inside and refrains from crying. Motionlessly and anticipating the worst to happen, she waits silently for him to continue.

  “You are not dispensable but I cannot be taken for granted. So let’s take a ninety days break. You are free to look for someone else who can love you the way you want to be loved. Likewise, I will keep my options open. If by then we decide that we truly want to be together forever, then you will have to do better and find a way to accept the fact that a relationship is a two way street and it cannot be always just about you.” His mind is made.

  Taylor shuts her eyes and fights back her silent tears. She clenches her jaw tightly and can feel his stare stabbing into the fractions of her spine. Trying her impossible to remain calm and in control of her emotions, she is adamant and will not beg him to change his mind. She begins to doubt his love for her, certainly, if he truly loves her as he claims he does then he would never be willing to let her go.

  She inhales a deep piercing breath and turns around to face him. Staring at him in utmost seriousness, she chokes and blunts out heartbrokenly, “You are joking right?”

  He is beginning to doubt her love, certainly, the only way to know for sure is to set her free and if she comes back, then he would know that her love for him is real. “Taylor,” he affirms dryly. Ego struck and hiding his own despair, he manages to elaborate. “No, I am not joking. I mean it. I’m setting you free for ninety days, I need to know that it’s ‘us’ that we truly want and that your love for me is real.”

  Courageously she walks up to him without tearing and looks into his eyes intently. “Ivan, you don’t really love me. If you love me then you’ll never be willing to let me go. You doubt this relationship and that’s enough reason for me to leave.”

  Heartbroken and hurt but yet in a way relieved, conflicting emotions rage through her mind as she rushes into the bedroom. She locks the door behind her, throws herself onto their king size bed and silences her cry with the softness of the pillow. She sits up with head bent and legs folded, wipes and away her tears and stares into the empty space.

  She shuts her eyes, regains control over the overwhelming emotions and decides that Taylor Gibbons has no more tears to shed.

  She loves him with all her heart, but is far too stubborn to learn how to love him the way he needs to be loved.

  Feeling hurt, insulted, frayed
and desolate, she finds his proposal of a ninety days break ludicrous and is angry at herself. Tormented by her own miscalculation, she regrets immensely for having allowed herself positioned to his mercy.

  Now she finds herself torn between love and pride. Perhaps she has been over confident in their relationship; perhaps she has been overly assertive in her ways but with all good intentions, she has never taken him for granted. His perception of her insecurities and inability to communicate has triggered the most drastic reaction. She feels as if she is being punished for being herself.

  Negative emotions floods and become overbearing as she climbs out of bed. Sadly she packs her essentials in a carry on suitcase and rolls it out to the living room. She sees him lying on the sofa, eyes shut with arms and legs crossed, pretending to be asleep. She presses her lips together without utterly a word and leaves silently without saying goodbye.

  Deep inside, he regrets his words and wishes for her to fight back. It disappoints him to see her giving up on him that easily and does not understand that he has hurt her feelings and shattered her heart into pieces.

  He is convinced that she will never find anyone who will ever cherish her as much as he does and will return crawling back to him in ninety days, tamed and less assertive.

  ************

  After two trying days of auditions, Amber and Conrad found six potential candidates to replace Neyo. Watching the final chorus line on stage, they carefully evaluate each candidate but opinions are not unanimous. Each of the dancers has their unique strength but none can adequately compare with Neyo.

  “Amber,” Conrad suggests, “we have to stop comparing them to someone who is no longer with us. I think Sylvester is our best bet, he can be the next ‘Turbulent.’ But do not, and I repeat, do not sleep with him.”

  Amber is silenced.