All This Time: A Billionaire, Bad Boy Romance (Fated Loves Book 3)

by Zee Irwin

  She shot off of the couch and followed me to the door. “What? I wasn’t looking at your scars. Besides, they’re hidden under your shirt.”

  “But it’s easier for you to look at me if they’re hidden away, right? Am I a monster to look at? This is exactly why I didn’t want to meet Flower. I don’t need some shallow chick not seeing the real me.”

  I stomped out the door and flew down the stairs.

  “Shallow? What the hell? Jace! Stop! I wasn’t even—”

  I walked several blocks, trying to clear my head in the cool spring night air. How could I believe Flower, or Lily, could see past my scars? Nobody could see past these hideous marks left behind by a tortuous event. Even I couldn’t see past the scars to know the real me anymore.

  Lily texted a few times, which I ignored until I had to call an Uber.

  Lily: Jace, please, let’s talk.

  Me: I’ll be at the store to pick up Sammie tomorrow.

  I arranged the Uber, turning off my ringer for the rest of the night.

  “You should see all the guys, of every age, who DM me on my TikTok nightly. I’m telling you, it’s the place to be for online dating,” Becky offered her best, unsolicited dating advice.

  I’d stopped by Travis’s house to vent after leaving Lily, and forgot all about Becky’s visit. After interrupting their dinner and telling them about the unexpected twist in the latest joke of my love life, the last thing I needed was advice from her.

  “Yeah, well, I’m not about to launch a dancing campaign for millions to watch a scarred monster on their mobile phones just so I can get dates. But thanks for the advice.” I rolled my eyes. My defensiveness bristled. Travis handed me a beer and led me out to his garage. He’d been rebuilding an old Harley-Davidson motorcycle, and the bro time was exactly what I needed right now.

  “So, it didn’t go as planned, eh? Sorry, dude. But don’t give up. Someone out there for everyone, plenty of fish in the sea, etcetera. Isn’t that what they say? And fuck whoever ‘they’ are.” Travis set out two stools, and we stared at the motorcycle parts in front of us. Then he broke out the tequila and shot glasses, signaling no mechanical work would get done tonight.

  “Screw it. Being a hermit for the rest of my life won’t be so bad. I’ll move to my family’s cabin in the woods when I retire, stock it up with Penthouse magazines, plenty of lotion, and tissues. I won’t be alone because I’ll have Sammie, and I’ll get a German Shepherd. Just me, myself, and my pets, I’ll be fine.”

  Marcie stuck her head out the door between the kitchen and the garage. “You guys okay out here?” Then she lowered her tone to a whisper. “Sorry, Jace. I know Becky can be irritating.”

  “Bring us some limes, honey. This is a tequila night.”

  A very pregnant Marcie shot all the way through the door. “Oh no, Travis! We have errands to run tomorrow, and I don’t need your hungover ass slowing me down. This could be the last weekend to get things done before this girl pops out.” Seeing her rub her belly made me want to take back everything I said about living alone. All I ever wanted was to be a husband and a dad. Dreams I threw out the minute I got burned.

  “Girl?” I asked.

  “That’s what she thinks. My bet is on a boy. Honey, can’t you see our friend is in misery? Now be a dear and cut us some lime wedges. This could be my last night to get drunk before this boy pops out.” Travis mocked her, rubbing his round belly behind her back as she huffed back into the kitchen.

  “So come on, dude. Spill. How bad was it?”

  “Tonight was the very definition of awkward. I couldn’t believe Lily was Flower65. I have no doubts she was as shocked as I was.”

  He swigged his second beer down and belched. “Maybe after the shock wears off, there’s still hope?”

  “Nah. I’ve seen the way she looks at my scars. There’s no way she’d be able to get past them. Even if I wore turtlenecks the rest of my life, her eyes, man, they told me everything I needed to know. She’s never going to see the real me. Why bother trying?”

  Becky came out with the tray of limes and set them on the workbench between us. “How about a body shot, Jace?” She flipped her blonde locks to one side, exposing her neck. I was one beer and one shot in and she wasn’t appealing yet.

  “No thanks. I’m good.” My best steely voice and intimidating stare warned her away. It worked because she stomped into the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

  “Women. Am I right?” Travis poured our shots, and the drinks kept coming.

  About an hour later, unknown amounts of alcohol blasted through my system. My resignation turned into frustration.

  “What are we supposed to be, the weaker sex? Shit, I’ve lived my whole life taking care of myself. I don’t need a woman taking care of me. You should see the way Lily worries over her brother, like a helicopter parent. I don’t need that in my life. No woman will control me. Period.”

  “Oorah, buddy. Women think they know it all. Marcie tells me what to do all the time. Like I don’t have a brain in my head.”

  As if Marcie had eyes and ears in the room, she opened the door. “How are you holding up in here?”

  “Just fine, babe. Actually, I’m hungry as fuck. Bring us some of that bean dip and tortilla chips, why don’t you?”

  “Oh, my God. What I gotta be your maid now? You are going to be so bloated tomorrow, and I’m not sleeping with your farting ass.”

  “For crying out loud, woman, let me have this night. One more night with my old buddy before I gotta turn into a responsible father.”

  A few minutes later, Marcie delivered a chip and dip tray. Then she smooched Trav’s face between her fingers. “Ooh, you are a pain in my neck, mister, but I love ya. Enjoy your last night of pre-fatherhood freedom.”

  They kissed, proving to me again how great they were together. That’s all I wanted, my own version of what they had.

  “Listen, Jace, don’t be so quick to judge Lily. We know how you get defensive and jump to your own conclusions. You get all into your head, and you turn into this introverted freak.”

  “Really, Marcie? Hey Travis. Are you going to let your wife shoot me down like that?”

  “You do get into your head too much, man.”

  “Gee, thanks, buddy. You both know me too fucking well. I need to stop hanging out with you.”

  “Just do me and Travis a favor? Before you bury your head in the sand and never talk to women again, please try talking to Lily one more time. Let her know how her stares make you feel. And try to understand where she’s coming from. Who knows? Maybe you can even reschedule the date, see where it goes. But don’t give up. You’re too good of a guy to be alone.”

  “Hun, I love you, but this is guy time here, so . . .”

  Marcie waddled back into the house. “Fine, I’m just saying Jace is a keeper and if Lily is too, she’ll take him up on another chance.”

  It wasn’t long after our munchies, satiated with the chips, and after more alcohol, I admitted I was the problem. My speech came out slurred and I didn’t even know if I was making sense.

  “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. My Lily, my Flower was so nice. She took in Sammie. She takes care of the cats and her brother, too.”

  “Is she pretty?”

  I thought for a moment about all the dresses I’d seen her wear, like something out of a fifties movie, and her hair the color of a dark chocolate-covered caramel, and her eyes like ice blue waves.

  “In an odd way, she’s beautiful, not like anyone I’ve ever met before. Petite, nice figure. Bookworm. Yeah. I like her.” Where did that come from? “Oh shit, I fucked up, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah you did, buddy. But Becky’s here if you want to hook-up with her.”

  “Not a fucking chance.”

  The next thing I knew, I found myself in an Uber. I forced the driver to take me to three different convenience stores in search of flowers in the middle of the night. At the last store, I found a pen with a felt flower on
the lid. Somewhere in my drunken mind, I reasoned, that would do.

  In the middle of the night, I stood at Lily’s building, hoping to be buzzed in. Of course, my blurred vision made it difficult to find her number, and I buzzed several of her neighbors, waking them up, begging for Lily Flower to let me in.

  By the time I found her, she buzzed me in and I climbed the stairs in a drunken mess.

  “You came back?” She appeared at the door.

  My eyes tried to focus on her. She wore some sort of pink fuzzy pajamas with her hair in a ponytail. She looked good enough for me.

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “Why?”

  “I know it’s not a tulip,” my words slurred, and I held up the flower pen close to her eyes. “In fact, I don’t actually know what kind of flower it is. But it’s for you, because I should have brought flowers tonight. That’s what I should’ve done.”

  With my best drunken smile and the flower pen, maybe I was appealing enough for her to give me a second chance. What she did next surprised the hell out of me. She jumped on me.

  Her arms flew around my neck, and her legs straddled my midsection as far as her short legs could reach. My hands landed on her ass and I carried her to the couch.

  Her lips smashed against mine with a hungry fire I had never experienced before. I was a mess; she was a mess, and the kiss was a big wet mess. Was it even a kiss? Our tongues were everywhere on each other, but I was too drunk to care.

  Awkward Enough

  LIly

  There was a man sleeping off his drunkenness on the couch of my apartment. And I couldn’t stop staring at him. Jace’s scarred side faced down on the couch, leaving his other gorgeous jawline exposed. Jace was Blue92. I couldn’t reconcile the fact yet.

  I imagined Blue92 as a cultured, creative man, able to discuss literature, interested in the arts. My mind often pictured a tall, brown-haired man wearing a tuxedo. In my dreams, he would extend his arm to me as I gracefully walked down a flight of stairs in a pink gown reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe in her famous “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” scene. So romantic.

  In real life, Jace was a football playing, sports loving, leather jacket wearing, house building muscle-bound brute, with longish brown hair. Okay, he was beyond handsome, scars and all. And the way he rescued me last night as I fell, his powerful arms lifting me up like I weighed nothing? Yes, he took my breath away. He could rival Fabio in the old romance novel covers from long ago—and Jace would win if it was a contest who was the sexiest.

  Should I wake him? What was the protocol for the morning after a drunken man appeared on your doorstep considering he left you in the middle of an argument—one he caused himself by being an idiot?

  “Morning,” Maddie’s voice rang out, startling me. “You’re up early, even for you.”

  I dropped my voice to a whisper, still unsure if I wanted to wake him. “Sh.” I grabbed her hands and brought her deep into the kitchen against the wall, as far as I could get us away from Jace. “Don’t wake him. It’s awkward enough.”

  “Good thing Daniel and I were here last night to help get him to the couch. What a mess,” she lowered her voice.

  “Yes, thank you for that. I’m going to the shop now. I don’t want to be here when he wakes.”

  “Don’t you think the two of you should talk?”

  “And say what? The man accused me of being some shallow bitch. I tried talking with him last night, but he ran out on me. In the middle of the night, he showed up drunk off his ass, mumbling something about pens. He tried to kiss me and passed out just as we got him to the couch. If he’s the type who drinks his problems away, then he’s not the man for me.”

  “Trust me, he’s not. In all the time I’ve known Daniel, we’ve hung out several times at the pub. He’s never been like this. Guys handle emotions in different ways. You found out about each other in the most unexpected circumstance. You fainted, he drank and passed out. The two of you have stuff to figure out.”

  “Like what? Where do we go from here? You know I’m usually a hopeful person, Maddie, but this time even I can see it’s not an ideal way to start a relationship. He clearly has issues. I already have a brother with issues and enough on my plate without having to convince Jace my intentions are good. I hoped for a romantic relationship but I didn’t want to work that hard.”

  “You’re delusional if you think relationships don’t require work.”

  Maddie and I had a brief stare down. “Please, Lily, talk to him. Give the guy another chance. I promise you, he’s a good man.”

  From the living room, I could hear Jace’s breathing disrupt, then the creaking of the couch as he shifted. I turned my head and listened for the return of his steady breathing. “Fine, I’ll leave him a note to come talk to me later at the shop.”

  Last night, Jace kept trying to give me a pen in his drunken stupor. Where was it now? I searched around me and finally found it on the floor. A cheap Bic pen, white with a cap, and on the cap was a fuzzy red ball with googly eyes glued onto it. Why in the actual hell would he give this to me? Whatever. I jotted down a note, left it on the table, then tucked the pen in my purse.

  I spent my entire walk to the shop planning and practicing what to say to him.

  Jace, we can continue as friends.

  I know, I’m disappointed too.

  Yes. This has everything to do with how you flew off the handle.

  No. I don’t have issues leftover from watching my parents fight as a little girl.

  No. This has nothing to do with your scars. For the record, I think you are one hunk of man. I’d like nothing more than to jump you.

  Ugh. Maybe he was right in calling me shallow. Blue92, at his best, was amazing online. Our chats and our interests all aligned. But in the flesh as Jace, was it enough to build a proper relationship? If not, it wasn’t like I could simply block Jace from my life now. He was Daniel’s friend, and I was Maddie’s. There could be plenty of awkward situations in our future running into each other.

  All things considered, we should at least become friends. Unless he was a total dick to me and didn’t come talk to me, then forget it.

  When I rounded the corner to Prince Street, a scene like from a movie confronted me. Two police cars and two fire trucks blocked the street, pulled up to what used to be Betto’s Pizzeria, now half gutted from a fire. The view was surreal.

  Frank was talking earnestly with two uniformed officers when he saw me and called me over.

  “Lily. My store. What am I going to do?” He grabbed me into a hug, and I hugged back. Stores came and went over the years. Betto’s Pizzeria was a mainstay. A burnt shell of a store was all that remained.

  “Oh no, Frank!”

  “I got a call from the alarm company this morning. By the time I arrived, half the store was in flames. Look at all this damage. My beautiful windows bashed in. The fire. I don’t understand it. The robbers took so much. I had a few thousand cash in the till, now gone. Fuck, why didn’t I take the deposit to the bank last night? The bastards!”

  “Sir, we have a few more questions for you,” an officer called over. Frank left me, shaking his head with a look on his face that matched mine in total disbelief.

  I slowly skirted around the scene, and shivers drove down my spine. This hit too close to home. My bookstore was my life. I didn’t know what I would do if something like this happened to me.

  After I entered Cat’s Cradle and locked the doors behind me, Jace was the furthest thing on my mind now. I was grateful Simon wasn’t home for the weekend. What if my shop was the next target and Simon was home? Great. How to prevent my brother from dying in a fire was a fresh worry.

  In my office, I pulled up the email with the quotes for the security gates, along with quotes for an outside door for Simon’s apartment. And there were the security cameras and alarms Frank had suggested. If I had these installed, I was looking at thousands of dollars of materials and installation. Exactly what I couldn’t afford, b
ut needed, right now.

  Not long after I opened for the morning, Analise showed up. “Lily, I cannot believe what’s happened! The robberies seemed so far away, but now they hit our block? What can we do? This is our livelihood the crooks are messing with.” The thirty-something mother of preteen twin girls wrung her hands with worry.

  I envied her boho style and long braids of dirty blonde hair. “We have to be safe, be vigilant. And don’t keep money in the shop. Look, I have quotes for several security upgrades. If only I could afford them.” I showed her the product websites, brochures, and quotes.

  She almost gagged. “I can’t afford those either. Since separating from Brad, I’m making ends meet, but that’s it. The bastard isn’t cutting me any slack other than taking care of the girls’ health insurance right now, and he’s the one who cheated on me. We’re still negotiating alimony and child support because his divorce lawyer is a shark, and mine seems to roll over instead of fighting for me.”

  Bev made walked by with a suggestion. “Perhaps there’s more you could do, like a neighborhood watch. My husband and I organized our neighbors long ago in the last house we lived in.”

  Her passing comment had me thinking about Jace. “Hm. The police have contacted me about starting up a community watch program. Analise, what do you say we get as many shop owners as possible and have a meeting next week? We can talk about the community watch idea and I’ll invite the detective in charge of the investigation to talk with us about setting up the watch program.”

  She nodded and put the brochures back on my desk. “My husband, or soon to be ex-husband, has a purchasing agent for his large retail company. He’s always organizing quantity discounts for things for their multiple locations. I wonder if, in our case, several stores could get together and negotiate a discount for the security upgrades?”

  “That’s a great idea, and worth a try. I’ll draft a flyer today about a meeting and deliver them to the shops. Hopefully, we can get everyone together and rally for this cause.” I took out the pen Jace gave me and jotted Community Meeting on my to-do list for the day.