Save the Last Bullet for God

by J. T. Alblood

  With all of these seductive thoughts storming in my head, I continued to fulfill my responsibilities. To avoid wasting all my effort and knowledge, I told myself it was mandatory that I tell people about my discoveries. The prospect of returning to my old job weighed heavily on my shoulders. I returned to browsing the internet.

  As I searched for information on others who had dealt with the Qur’an’s disjointed letters, I became consumed with the desire to provide a long explanation of my work and looked for TV discussion programs where I could explain the details of my work step-by-step. I searched for an interesting long-term program with charismatic guests and broad participation—a program that everyone would watch. On such a program, I could promote my book and explain it in detail.

  I typed “TV Discussion: The Codes and the Holy Book” into my search engine. I did not expect to find much on the first try.

  The first article listed in the search results seemed to have been written for me. It was a link to the main page of Channel 19 where it said the following:

  A great discussion program at 8:00 Tonight. Don’t miss it! During this apocryphal time of rumors and signs of the end, a magnificent discussion will answer many of your questions. Is the end of the world near? What do the holy books say about it? Is there an encrypted message in the Qur’an?

  Experienced writer and journalist Hasan Tahsin will host the following guests:

  • Feryal Özel: A thirty-year-old astrophysicist, professor, and lecturer at the University of Arizona, Dr. Ozel successfully represents Turkey abroad as one of the world’s top twenty thinkers and a scientist whose intelligence rivals Einstein’s. She will be answering our questions live.

  • Hıdır Zaman: The internationally respected cleric will be with us to talk about his books and the theological implications of our discussion.

  • Astrologer Gizem: An authority in the field of esoteric sciences and communication with the world beyond, as well as in the field of divination and fortune-telling. Gizem believes our destiny is written in the stars.

  •The Spiritualist Fatin: Fatin has proven to the world many times that he can deliver news from the spiritual world. Everything he has said about the future has come true. We eagerly await his predictions tonight.

  •Child Prodigy, Ender: Also known as “The indigo boy,” Ender is a media phenomenon who, since the day he was born, has been surprising us all by answering all your questions with the sheer power of his intelligence.

  It was exactly what I wanted! I called the contact number immediately. After a few attempts, I was able to reach the station manager. I told him I was a doctor and that I had published a book. The show’s producers were in a rush due to the excitement of the night’s program, so I summarized the situation over the phone and told them about the discoveries in my book. Realizing the value of such a sensational discovery being declared for the first time on their show, the director told me they would be happy to invite me to the program that night. He told me to bring the book along with me.

  …

  I immediately dressed, gathered my notes, and of course, grabbed my book. On the way to the show, I struggled with my anxiety about what to say.

  Sweaty and in wrinkled clothes, I arrived late at the TV station and was rushed to the studio. Only then did I realize that numerous calls had been made to my phone. With a touch of anger and reproach, the program assistant led me to the sound stage, all the while bombarding me with information about the guests, the program format, and more. As they applied makeup, I decided what I would say and how I would answer the questions. The program had started and was playing on the monitor in the room, but I wasn’t following it. Finally, I took my place in the studio amidst curious looks from the audience and an angry glare from the moderator.

  It was a heated discussion with Mr. Tahsin leading the flow like a virtuoso, intervening only when necessary.

  Feryal Özel, the young and beautiful scientist—more attractive than her picture on the internet—responded to his questions with clear, authoritative answers.

  “Dr. Özel, how can the indigo boy, Ender, interpret events so clearly, and always give such perfect, articulate answers?” Mr. Tahsin asked, staring at Feryal while also paying attention to the camera angle.

  “As you know,” she replied, “the human brain uses only five percent of the information it receives. It can be argued that what the brain does is a requirement of the evolutionary process. This is because the body, by collecting information from our external environment at the lowest level, is needed to provide energy and time consumption in order to achieve the most effective results. For example, if we are looking at a rough sea over a cliff, it is our brain that tells us that it is deep and cold. There is no need to dive in to test its depth.”

  The answer was becoming a lecture, so Mr. Tahsin interrupted to arouse the curiosity of the audience with more attractive topics. “Of course, but our viewers will wonder how you will connect all this with the indigo boy.”

  “Simply put,” she continued, “our extracts information from fragments. So, when our brain sees a small part of a picture, it fills in the rest with its sense of right or wrong. This is required for life in general, but it stymies us during problem solving—or, rather, it prevents us from making right decisions by misleading our perceptions.”

  “However,” she continued “in the case of Ender, he represents the next stage of evolution for the human brain. His brain processes eighty percent or more of the things he perceives. Today, the rest of us have seen a lot of cars, plates, buildings, and red lights, but we haven’t paid attention. This boy, on the other hand, has seen and imprinted his brain with them all. Hence, next week, he may predict the duration of the red light, what cars will be on the road, and the chance of an accident, even in another city. This is something akin to forecasting the weather…or seeing the future.”

  “Wow—even though I was prepared and did my research, I haven’t looked at the matter from that perspective,” Mr. Tahsin said before turning to Ender. “So, young man, you have some prophecies—”

  “Foresights!” Dr. Özel immediately corrected him with the protective instinct of a mother.

  “Yes, yes, not prophecies, but foresights that have generally come true. So to start our topic today, I’d like to ask you, Ender, do you think the end of the world will come on December 21, 2012?” Tahsin asked.

  Ender stared at the moderator with blue eyes that held a rare depth and maturity one wouldn’t expect from someone his age. “You should explain the phrase ‘the end’ because it is used in a very broad sense,” he stated.

  “The end of mankind, the existing world…the end of time,” Tahsin added.

  The boy laughed before saying with apparent sincerity, “To know that is like trying to decide whether the road ends on a cliff five kilometers ahead by looking in the rearview mirror of a car. Until now, it has been impossible for me to accurately interpret an event that hasn’t yet happened by comparing it with events that happened in the past. I can only make predictions and say that the history of mankind is about to evolve. We are so close to this change and nothing will be the same, but I can’t say just how close we are or how soon this change will occur.”

  At this, the astrologer, Gizem, jumped in. “With the support of all the esoteric data and the astrology chart, all I can say is that in the middle of the Milky Way, there is a condition of regional, intensive energy that does not affect us now and is not seen from our current perspective. As the Mayans declared with the support of all astrological data, the twenty-first of December will be the longest night in the history of mankind, and the day after will be the beginning of a new era.”

  The astrologer was speaking now with a thrill in her voice. “The ones who are mentally ready will ride on the wings of this energy to the next level, while the others will desend into the bottomless well. It is the same as heaven and hell—”

  “The end of days is a secret,” Hıdır, the cleric, loudly interrupted, “
only signs have been given. Don’t occupy people’s minds and hearts with such nonsense.”

  The journalist tried to regain control of the deteriorating debate. “Okay, let’s discuss the subject like civilized people.”

  The cleric didn’t have any intentions of keeping quiet. “If it was the end of the world tomorrow, and they put a countdown clock in Taksim Square,” he went on, “how could one identify good and evil, faith and faithlessness—what would happen to this earthly life?”

  While everyone else was engaged in the discussion, I was so far merely a spectator. The hot spotlights of the studio dazzled me and sweat dripped down my neck. When the camera showed me, I could hear members of the audience mumbling, “Who is this miserable person, unable to talk?”

  The spiritualist, Fatin, had now found a way to be involved in the discussion. “In regards to the information that I received from the spiritual world, I can tell you that the end of our world is near and that mankind must pull itself together.”

  I didn’t know if the camera had caught it, but while Fatih was talking, I could see small ticks on his face and involuntary twitching in his arms. I wondered if it might increase as he got nervous.

  Before Fatin could continue and test my conjecture, the cleric, Hıdır, jumped in. “The Lord of all the worlds is also the Lord of demons, and his rules are also valid for them. They do not know when the end of the world will be, so they cannot tell you.”

  Hıdır went on to scold Mr. Tahsin. “I regretfully condemn you for leading such a circus-like, anxiety-provoking program by inviting such people!”

  Tahsin responded to this new criticism by announcing an ad break. Several of the guests stood up and the assistant reminded everyone that they would resume broadcasting in eight minutes.

  When I returned after having some coffee, the cleric Hıdır and the spiritualist Fatin were still having a row.

  “I’m a well-known dignitary,” Fatin grumbled loudly, “and you’d be surprised by the number of scientists, politicians, and businessmen who ask my advice”

  “A person doesn’t talk about the talents he has; he talks about the ones he would like to have,” Dr. Özel interrupted on behalf of Hıdır.

  Fatin, took exception to this, “And you, too, now,” he said to her. “As if it wasn’t enough coming from Mr. Zaman.”

  “Don’t take it personally,” she said, “but your attitude is not nice at all. You have been abusing people’s feelings, juggling six topics at the same time with a lot of quackery, and, as if that wasn’t enough, you seek to exclude us from the conversation.”

  Turning back to Mr. Tahsin, the scientist continued, “Mr. Zaman is right. You invite such people to the program because of ratings anxiety, but in doing so, you not only lower the tone of the program, you also fail to fulfill what you promised us. You told me this would be a program in which the rules of academic debate were applied. If you don’t pull the program together, I might have to leave. I have to protect the prestige of the institutes I represent.” The professor delivered this ultimatum as if she were speaking to her students in her lecture hall.

  “Okay, okay,” Tahsin said. “I hear and agree with your concerns, top to bottom. I promise that, from now on, we will not allow such shenanigans on the program. However, please be calm and considerate. As you may know, viewers also have some questions and expectations. Let’s direct the program toward answering them.”

  Tahsin turned to Fatin. “And you, Mr. Fatin, please don’t sabotage this multidisciplinary program, which is already very tense. I want to give you the opportunity to speak and communicate with the public.”

  “OK, fair enough,” Fatin said, despite the red sparks flashing in his eyes.

  By the time the assistant declared that we would be on the air in thirty seconds, all of the panelists had taken their places and were busy sorting the notes in front of them.

  “On air!”

  “Dear viewers, it seems these exciting and intriguing topics have affected our panel greatly. We will continue our provocative discussion by consulting our cleric about apocalyptic signs. We will ask for Dr. Özel’s thoughts on the creation and functioning of the universe and to make it clear whether what Ms. Gizem has said about the presence of various energy clusters at the center of the Milky Way is possible. But first, provided that he is calm, I’d like to turn back to Mr. Fatin. What are the sensations and statements you have received from the jinns? And please observe decorum while speaking.”

  The so-called journalist was fanning the flames like a lunatic.

  Fatin took a deep breath; he was clearly angry. “When talking about the respectability level of the program,” Fatin began, “you should consider the person whose name you bear. Hasan Tahsin went down in history as a journalist, firing the first bullet toward the enemy in Izmir. You, however, have been struggling merely to sell a few more ads for the program.”

  Fatin grabbed Tahsin’s hand and, as he continued, his eyes turned up until only the whites were visible, “By the word ‘level,’ you mean I should accommodate the public? The public that buys weapons only to increase the suffering of the hungry? The public that tolerates murder? Thanks to you, now I am a murderer. The public that uses votes and opportunities and opens concentration camps filled up with untried prisoners? Thanks to you, I am now an oppressor. The public that is proud of having built the biggest prison in Europe, not the biggest library? Thanks to you, I’m now illiterate. However, I don’t think we should put the blame on the people who did it. The guilt belongs to the ministers. Are you asking about the end of the world? Here it is!”

  He withdrew his hand from the journalist’s, leaving some bloody scratches, and his irises appeared once more. He was now murmuring to himself, “I’m even sick of it all. What’s next?”

  Tahsin’s face was pale as he stammered. Such unexpected situations during a live-broadcast generally require a compulsory break, and indeed, the assistant hoarsely announced that we would return to air in seven-minutes. Although I had come here to present my book and talk about the code, at this point, I didn’t even know where I was.

  The time passed quickly, and soon, the on-air warning arrived. I hoped the journalist would bring the discussion back to Earth.

  “Okay,” he said when the break ended. “We will turn back to this hot topic and our guests’ projections soon, but first, I’d like to give some time to a brand-new writer, who has put forward an amazing first book containing some incredible arguments.” As he spoke, he stared helplessly at me.

  Just then the door of the studio opened, and someone came inside. I turned and saw that it was Elif. Looking tired, she slipped inside with a briefcase. She glanced at the set, the scene, the people sitting at the table, and then turned to the camera and the hot spotlights. She was angry and I realized it hadn’t been a very good idea to do something like this behind her back. I must have forgotten to turn off the computer and now I’d been caught. Elif’s shrill voice rang in my ears.

  “Your book has just come out. We haven’t even laid the groundwork for its promotion, nor even talked about it. But you have already thrown yourself into the most difficult situation: a live broadcast. A little bit of logic would have been good, but no, you lead with your chin!”

  People in the studio stared at her; the assistant made a muting sign and showed her an empty seat. Then, everyone turned back to the panel and waited for my response.

  I turned to the cameras. “First, good evening everyone,” I said. I had found the most ridiculous cliché to begin with. “Actually, everything I could tell you is stated in my book,” I continued now in a mumble.

  “You’re a doctor, aren’t you?” Mr. Tahsin said to me with a facile grin. “Doctors of medicine must have a special interest in the finding of a code in our holy book.” He was trying to make the audience forget his earlier defeat by drawing attention to me, his new victim.

  Hiding my displeasure, I answered with a slight sigh. “My profession aside, I am a human being. A hum
an being that thinks. I feel an urge to share my thoughts with other people. Moreover, the only advantage of my profession in this case is that it brings me a scientific perspective and the ability to perform a systematic analysis.”

  I had gotten a grip on the topic now. Since I held the cards, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to explain my findings. “It all began with a question.” I began reciting the lines that I had memorized on the way to the studio.

  When I began to talk about the transparent sheets—which I had used while discovering the code—I began to gain the audience’s attention. My passion for the subject propelled me as I pointed at the book in my hands and showed its pages to the camera. Everything was going fine, and the atmosphere was calmer now, but I could see Elif losing her patience. Before I could finish, Elif stood up, and, because it was a live broadcast, suddenly the producers and crew had panicky looks on their faces. However, they were too late to stop her.

  Elif stepped into the shot, put her hand on the table and, in a calm but frustrated tone, said, “Oktay, my dear, can we go now?” It was not a question.

  I looked at her, considered the cameras, and wondered if I could still do something to pull it all together. I continued to talk.

  “Here is Elif, who is the light of my life. She is the only one who has supported me throughout my writing process…” My hand was raised in the air toward Elif, who, along with the confused looks of the audience, the helpless and frustrated looks of the assistants and other personnel, was on full display in a live broadcast.

  Elif spoke louder now, “You’re not ready yet. You’ve still got time. You came here without informing me. You will make a fool of yourself and of me.” I supposed she was right. I was a doctor and writer who was being scolded live on television—no matter what she said now, my reputation had already been ruined.

  The host attempted to save the situation. “Ma’am, we’re live at the moment and discussing very important issues,” he said.