Save the Last Bullet for God

by J. T. Alblood

  Still, I finished the partition, destroying the part where the monster got stuck and tried to heal the damage on the other side. As the little bastard decided what to do next, I parted the defensive wall as fast as I could. I suddenly pulled myself inside my chamber and recreated my shield. As the bastard was locked in my other half, I escaped in a hurry. I went away, leaving the pieces of me behind.

  2

  The universe is gargantuan—beyond comprehension—and it hosts a tremendous number of things. We are only little dots in this spectacular formation, and when we lose our awareness, we fade away as if we had never existed.

  My loneliness and the times I was on my own gave me the opportunity to know myself and get to know those around me. I wandered around from one land to another, on my own, a traveler. I understood what was real, and the only important thing was the energy that formed the blue light.

  Small individuals like me transfer their blue light to the next generation to keep it after partitioning. They live together to protect their species, and they keep their blue color. In the course of life, you can lose your blue, but you can’t increase its intensity. However, if the small blues unite and form a common structure, the strength of their blue doubles. There is no limit to the strength. After uniting, some of them have the energy to create a city or a planet. Such formations are always in need of outside energy.

  When the amount of united blue light surpasses the limit, something enormous happens. They become stars, and the stars spread their blue all over the galaxy.

  I led the lonely life of a traveler for a long time, but I gained a lot of power and made changes to the information unit during the struggle with the pale blue monster inside me. I survived an attack which would have turned me gray. I felt stronger. Using these talents, I found myself a new colony. Those who accepted me called me “the guest.” I wasn’t one of them, but they respected me. I shared my talents and knowledge, and they believed in me.

  First, we were small wanderers trying to capture the energy of those around us. However, thanks to our ambition, determination, and irrepressible desire, we spread out, away from our inefficient and energy-poor territory. We captured the blue of whoever got in our way and turned it to gray. We learned to manage the planets and used them as tools to get to the stars. Even stars couldn’t stand against our determination and cruelty when we captured them and sucked their energy.

  The dreams of a small blue on its own were fulfilled. Our empire invaded the entire universe and all the blue energy was our colony.

  Limbo

  I suppose I regained my consciousness first. My first perceptions were a feeling of lightness, a sweet sense of happiness, a sense of serenity and.…

  “Hey! What’s going on?” I started yelling in my mind.

  “Sir, calm down. You overreacted. I had to stop the program immediately. You worried me.”

  “Why? Did I give an unexpected response? What was…that? Goddamn it, you turned me into a strange life form, and I didn’t even know what I was. Was I a creature travelling in space? Another universe, another place? Answer me!”

  “No, sir. It was just your life experience on Earth.”

  “Come on. As if I didn’t know the Earth. Are you kidding me?”

  “Yersinia Pestis.”

  “What are you talking about? What the hell is Yersinia Pestis? Wait, you mean the bacteria? Is it dysentery? No…that’s Vibrio Cholerae.”

  “Yersinia Pestis is the bacteria that caused the plague.”

  “Yes, yes, that’s right. It was on the tip of my tongue. But why—”

  “Sir, the organisms you just saw have been ruling the world for billions of years. They are the oldest and most perfect beings in the universe. They believe “blue” means to be alive. “Gray” is their way of perceiving the dead.”

  “The pale blue little monster?”

  “Viruses exist between the living and the dead. They attack the cells and bacteria and go inside them. They interfere with their genetic code and adhere to the main cell. As you experienced, the cells explode and attack their surroundings in numbers of hundreds and thousands.”

  “Okay, I get it. I mean, I remember it. They even cause genetic mutation. Most mutations kill the living, but very few of them are transferred into new generations as a new characteristic or even a superior one,” I added, not to be outdone by a snobbish program.

  “Yes, sir. As Yersinia Pestis lived peacefully in northern Mongolia, it mutated in a strange way and adapted to live inside fleas without killing them. Later, these fleas infested rodents, especially mice, and reached mammals. They stuck in the throats of fleas and caused them to get extremely thirsty. As a result, fleas were driven to attack everything and suck blood from their hosts non-stop. Finally, the disease infected people and caused the greatest outbreak of all time. Half of the human population was destroyed. Those people were erased from the genetic pool, making space for others.”

  “So the Plague evolved in Central Asia and spread over Europe?”

  “Conventional history says it was because of the fleas inside the pelts sold by the hunters of the north, but you have already experienced the entire period. Actually, the plague came to Crimea in the wolf pelt that Cuci carried with him. From there, it went to Europe by a Genoese commerce fleet and spread death.”

  “Why did you make me have the same experience?”

  “Sir, don’t forget: the setup is not mine. It is yours. You wrote the program. I am only the interface. What you witnessed was the subconscious of the disease. I mean, it was the subconscious of a huge organism at the cellular level. It was a ‘micro-consciousness.’”

  “So, will this process continue? I don’t want it to. I am the programmer, so I’m changing the program. I don’t want to experience the program anymore. I will be satisfied by just being told.”

  “Unfortunately, sir, your directives cannot be followed until you attain all your abilities and become yourself again. Are you ready to continue?”

  “Now? What will happen now? At least tell me about it. I don’t want any surprises.”

  “You are going to experience life as the over-conscious of the plague. Your journey will start at a harbor in Crimea and continue to Medieval Europe.”

  “The Black Death?”

  “Yes, sir. The Black Death.”

  Loading…

  Once you get used to the taste of humans, nothing else will satisfy you. No living being in the world feeds you as intensely as their fear and pain. Ensure that they are in contact and you will be surprised by how quickly they mix their fears with their hopelessness. Humans continuously transmit their desired feelings and emotional pressure to each other, starting from their central cluster which they call “family.”

  Loading…

  Black is not a color. Black is a concept. Black is an attitude towards life. Black doesn’t give out anything. Not even a single crumb can escape from it. In order to become black, you need to have a certain style. Either you can bear it or else you become helpless, and black will swallow you. If you become black, you approach a man in a steady and sticky way until you find a way inside. That’s the first step.

  From there, you send signals to the brain. The human brain is full of emotions. With some effort and some skill, you can take out emotions that are close to each other from within the system. But once you achieve this, the system will scatter those emotions around as if it has exploded. So, you need other skills to suck whatever you can.

  Loading…

  I’m female. I don’t say this because I am capable of reproductive. What makes me female is my style. I am nourished by emotion. For an emotional explosion, I will poke and force the one opposite me, and I will try anything.

  By the time you learn the emotional reactions of the human brain, you have gone inside the feelings it produces. You know what they mean, and you get pleasure from boring through them. Meanwhile, you infect the memory system of this strange creature, and collect its data. By analyzing the
data you can use it to define the horizon of what else is possible. Over time, you understand the language of human beings and reach the condition of perceiving or even expressing, using their aphorisms.

  …[START]

  Overconscious

  At a very young age, while living in the north, I adapted to the cold and dry air. I had not tasted man yet, so I directed my efforts toward fleas and small rodents, which produced marginal emotional resources. I wasn’t full enough, but I could survive. I saw my potential when I successfully made my fleas attack everything around them with an endless appetite. They were thirsty for blood and dove into the warmth of large mammals like wolves, bears, and deer. I tasted them all, but it still wasn’t enough.

  The turning point of my life happened when I was finally able to enter a human being. It was splendid to experience such a rich source of feelings. I slaked on him, but I got a bit sad when the body was not ready for me and died before it gave away all its fruits. He was too sensitive, and an overload caused him to die.

  I couldn’t find another human resource for a long time, and returning to my old resources left me more unsatisfied. I was easily and quickly hooked on humans, and the deprivation of my new passion was incredibly agonizing. So I took my sticky and sucking black body everywhere. When I reached the hunting tribes, I was overcome with a ravenous hunger and I instantly consumed everything from them, causing the tribe to die our quickly. I was clumsy and greedy and soon I was left hungry again. Unable to control my rising appetite, I dragged my pitch-black greed everywhere.

  When I couldn’t find a human resource, I was forced to settle for small rodents. I promised myself then that when I found another human being, I would not be so wasteful and careless. When I found my way onto a small pelt, I forced myself to be calm and clever and patient.

  It was when I reached the large city of Crimea, that my opportunity presented itself. I learned of the vast human resources far beyond the seas. So I went to the harbor and boarded a merchant vessel, and on the cold, misty Black Sea, I moved on toward my future spoils. As I floated among the crew with subtle touches and tried to do no harm, the ships took me to an abundant human harvest in the south. On the long voyage, I had plenty of time and opportunity to get to know my victims. They fed on human emotions just like me.

  They argued with each other. They fought. They exploited each other to define their positions in the community. They ate and made love, but they were unaware that they were in pursuit of the same emotional signals I hungered for. Somehow, their bodies must have learned about the rewards and punishments of the pleasures of orgasm and how it led to the continuation of their bloodline.

  They have offspring to experience feelings, breed, and continue breeding for what it will make them feel, but they are still unaware that they are consuming each other’s emotions. Human beings and their communities are actually emotion-accumulators, collecting every type of emotional energy and using it for themselves.

  If I wanted, I could have easily gorge myself on these humans, destroying them and ultimately starving myself. But I was patient and learned how to keep them alive long enough to continue feeding. It must be a reflection of the universe, like causing wheat to exist by interfering with its genetic process. Wheat is just a simple grass with giant seeds that are imperfect and don’t properly protect themselves. Still, humans nurture the plant, protect it from nature and help it to flourish, all so it can provide flour to man. In the same way, human beings offer me products that do not compete with nature.

  On my voyage, I got many positive results and data from the experiments I did on the various crewmembers. Slightly distorting the balance of some of them in the form of disease, I observed different results.

  In one experiment, I went through the blood in their veins directly. This allowed me to rapidly spread in their bodies and ensured a fast emotional absorption which resulted in death. However, as the victim didn’t grasp what was going on in the short term, only a small emotional product could be obtained. Such a quick death would have an incredible impact on the others, though. The appearance of the victim spitting up blood had an obvious effect on the community. Hence, I could easily harvest the emotions of the general public.

  But to do the job fully and enjoy it, I learned another path was best: slowly spreading through the skin from the spot of the flea bite and creating a giant tumor in the nearest lymph node. Because it lasts long, the victim and people around them watch the process slowly as the whole body turns black (my favorite color). The purulent and inflammatory discharge of the tumor causes plenty of emotional pain, which is incredibly satisfying since it is mostly fear and helplessness. The side effect of this process, the smell of rotted flesh and pus, contributes to another wave of emotions. As time stretches out, the opportunity to reach other people also increases; this is an extra benefit.

  In the course of my ongoing experiments, I infected all the living beings on the ship. When we arrived at the city on the strait, I had wasted only a few of my crew, and I was able to hide myself very successfully. I had the reward of mingling freely among the crowd in the harbor, and leaving some of my fleas there, I shoved off with my ships. I knew there would be a large harvest, but I never expected so many human treasures.

  I began to lose my crew. I was hungry and hardly held myself back from attacking livestock to feed my huge body. After the long journey, I was finally in Sicily. When the harbor guard saw our ship, the scared harbor personnel attacked the ships with fireballs and even sunk one of the twelve in the fleet. But I still had the opportunity to send away particles that could suck away all the emotional resources on the island.

  As the humans in the harbor of Venice gazed on my masterpiece, I saw the emotional resources of fear and terror begin to scatter. Thus began another ritual of dismissal by threats and fire, but this time I was prepared. I attacked the harbor more fiercely and left most of myself there. Then I sent off more particles with other ships.

  The ships turned to the French and Spanish harbors and I carried out my plan to go ashore there and move through Middle Europe. Soon, I began to hear the name “Black Death,” because of how I turned my victims black after I killed them.

  But Florence was my masterpiece.

  It was an amazing place. There were houses on top of each other, and a huge number of people lived all together. I had never seen such a blessing, such a beauty, and so much abundance. As my mice scurried down the small stone streets and my fleas reached anyone within jumping distance, no one could stop me.

  Like an ink stain on a wet tissue, I spread through the streets of the city. I killed the ones I could get inside, attacked those who tried to help the ones in agony and sucked away all the pity, despair, and fear I could find. I attacked everyone, from priests to those who carried dead bodies. The flood of emotions and the ethos of death spread more rapidly than I did. Those who tried to run away from the city only succeeded in taking me to other lands and communities.

  I didn’t kill those who buried their children immediately. I took my time, sucking their intense emotional releases. I floated inside one who cried at the bedside of his dead mother and let everything absorb into my darkness. Setting a snare for those who secluded themselves in their houses by putting up walls on their doors, I tasted their long emotional fear of death. Inside the ones who lost their minds, I danced around and sucked the desperation of the others. I attacked everyone again and again and poked the agonizing bodies of those who hid behind the fire. I sucked everything up into my warm, sticky, and soft blackness.

  The dark narrow streets, the surrounding earth were now covered with black bodies, and the smell of rotten flesh and pus. A tepid gloom hung over Florence and buried its head in the bellies of the bodies as they were dug up and torn into by dogs.

  Limbo

  Loading…

  All the darkness of the known Earth was mine. Country borders defined by men in their dreams, the things they believed and took shelter behind, couldn’t stop me. I abso
rbed all the known civilizations into the borders of my own empire, still the greatest in history. No one could escape my rage. None except those whom I allowed.

  … [STOP]

  “Sir! Sir, wake up! Snap out of it!”

  I woke up with that familiar artificial voice and felt a rush of panic.

  “What happened? I thought I would be the over-conscious of the plague. What is it now?”

  “The program didn’t give a positive response to the partition, but it continued anyway. I tried to interfere, but its functionality was compromised.”

  “What does that mean? Can it hurt me? Has this happened before? How does it affect the process?”

  “Sir, it is…, it doesn’t happen very often, but it is possible—”

  “Damn it! Stop beating around the bush and tell me what happened.”

  “Yes, sir, I will explain. While the program is working, a direct connection to your information unit can cause little changes in some basic information.”

  “Idiot, what are you talking about? What situation did you put me in? A mutating microbe? Why weren’t you more careful?”

  “Sir, the effect is not common, and if it happens, the changes lose significance. It occurs in small increments, and risks with such low probability can be ignored—”

  “It’s all your fault. You created a Mongolian and then turned him into a microbe—“

  “Sir, it is not what you think. I controlled all the systems, and there is no sign of damage or side effects.”

  “I know that. But what will you do if I explode?”