Save the Last Bullet for God

by J. T. Alblood

  “So, you mean there are other worlds apart from this one, and there are other beings…not humans?”

  “Well…of course…would archaeologists and scientists and the inscriptions of thousands of years lie? Think of our civilization, which is only 300–400 years old, and think about what we can do. If you extend that 500 years, who knows what we would have?—flying cities, huge ships sailing underwater, weapons that burn the enemy from miles away.”

  “What are they called?”

  “They? The aliens?”

  “Nah, those old civilizations. The Egyptians?”

  “No, much older than that.”

  The soldier nodded with interest.

  “There were the Sumerians in southwest Asia and civilizations further away than that, societies in India who used Sanskrit, and those who lived underground in the steppes of Asia, whose name I can’t remember now. There were also two old continents: Atlantis and Mu. But they are really old. I don’t know much about them.”

  As I spoke, the excitement of my childhood returned. I was fascinated and felt like telling him everything that came to my mind. Talking about it made me forget the current situation and everything else that had happened.

  When morning came, we ate breakfast, packed our leftovers and decided to move on. With our guide, the wolf, ahead of us and the hand of the blind soldier on my shoulder we set off through the forest.

  After we crossed a small mountain beyond the forest, we came across a military camp on the plains. Fortunately, they were looking for us. I led the soldier to the infirmary where we hugged and said goodbye to each other. Then, after reporting what we had been through to the command center, I was sent back to the front.

  I learned much later that the offensive I had been involved in was the battle of Somme and that one million people had died. One million people. If each soul weighs twenty-one grams, then twenty-three tons had left the Earth in that fight.

  That made me think of the one life I had saved and it reminded me of the story of the boy and the starfish. After a storm, the story goes, countless starfish were stranded on the coast in the morning. A little boy walked among them, throwing the ones he could reach back to the sea. A man came up to the boy and said, “There are so many starfish, does it make any difference to save them?” The child looked at the man, then at the starfish in his hand, and threw the starfish into the sea. Then he turned to the man and said, “It makes a difference to that one.”

  I never asked the name of the soldier. The pain, death and horror I witnessed after that day lasted for so many years that, if the incident with the blind man hadn’t been my first memory of the war, I would have forgotten all about it. When the war ended, I went back to Vienna, and years later, I moved to Germany. When I read about temporary blindness as a possible symptom of battlefield stress, I remembered that poor soldier and the time we spent in the forest.

  It was only later, while working as a successful psychiatrist and psychoanalyst and trying to publish my own objections to the political movements around me, that I began to experience the disadvantages of being Jewish. My academic achievements and confidence in myself didn’t save me from the harassment, insults, and attacks of 1933. After I published my books Mass Psychology of Fascism and Character Analysis, several articles in the newspapers targeted me personally. It was a thoroughly depressing time.

  That’s why, when I spied two young men with brown shirts coming out of a pitch-dark car and approaching the door of my house, I thought my end was near. I opened the door in despair, and when they only pressed an envelope in my hand, I was astonished. I opened the envelope with hands shaking from a mix of fear and relief. Inside, was a letter addressed to me along with a few official, signed documents. The documents consisted of a single permission to leave the country, including the proper supporting papers. The letter addressed to me was a single page and topped by a letterhead featuring an eagle holding a swastika in its claws.

  Dear Lieutenant,

  You asked me to pay you what I owed. As I have erased everything that belonged to my previous life, I would love to include you in this. You might have already realized how rapidly I moved on to do what I said I would after the war. Gathering information in order to build my strength, I have followed your life after the war quite closely, and I have learned much about your past, including your childhood. Of course, your old tutor, who now works for me, contributed a lot. I am sorry for what happened to your mother, and I assure you, after the process of taking advantage of him is over, your tutor will be punished as a little favor from me.

  I politely insist that you leave the country so that you will not be affected by what is coming, nor risk conflict with me over your political views. Please note that this request, and the concession, are one-time offers only. The necessary documents and permission are attached.

  Signature: The Nationalist Socialist German Workers Party and the Chancellor of Germany,

  Adolf Hitler

  When I turned the page over with my still-shaking hands, I found a pencil drawing: An old tree, and in its trunk a little open cavity, a lake beside the tree, and a pitch-black forest encircling them all. The memory returned of a blind soldier drawing—using my eyes.

  When the child chose a starfish from among the thousands on the beach and threw it back to the sea, did he carry the weight of that starfish’s later sins? How many people can you kill by saving one?

  Limbo

  “Welcome back, sir.”

  “Where am I? Who are you?”

  “It is the Limbo Station. You have recalled the experiment of Wilhelm Reich for the last time.”

  “Yes, yes. I remember everything now.”

  “By ‘everything’, you mean that you have all your memories and abilities back, right?”

  “I can only say ‘probably.’ I am not in a position to compare, as you know. I feel like I have myself back and I know who we are. We developed and evolved on a planet in a faraway star system. We don’t have shape or form. We are made of pure information and energy.”

  “Correct, Sir.”

  “But I still have questions. Why don’t we have...? I mean, are we a life form at all? Why do we need human bodies?”

  “Your race was born and developed in a star system in another galaxy. You have reached the last step in your development, one in which you no longer need an organic form.”

  “The last step?”

  “The last step that is known. All the data that exists in the organ called the brain is in a memory bank. The management module and the home of the consciousness are copied to the inorganic platform, and there, they exist forever.”

  “You mean like transferring all the data into a computer?”

  “Sort of. Among the transporters known as humans, the ones named dark matter and dark energy form 95% of the universe. The perceived and measured objects, such as stars, planets, and the integral parts of living beings, such as light and radio waves, are only a small part of the universe. They are like the nail of an elephant, the only perceived part of a much larger whole.”

  “And we live in the level of this dark substance and energy and copy ourselves?” I asked.

  “Yes, sir. We live at the level where all the components of the real universe are perceived, all the power and dimensions, including quantum entanglement and gravity and the relations among them. At our level, everything becomes clear.”

  “It wasn’t very reasonable to live in a human form with its 5% perceptibility.”

  “Actually, if you account for the mere 5% of data that is collected during the use and management of the human body, their rate of perception becomes incredibly small, approximately 2.5 per thousand.”

  “Are we there, then?”

  “The distances in space are vast, sir. Actually, we are hundreds of light years away. What are sent here are only small parts of reflections. Think of the quantum entanglement principle.”

  “Yes, I know its logic: as two particles that interact with each oth
er travel farther away from each other, they share the same information independently, and a single effect on one simultaneously affects the other.”

  “Sir, the technology you use reflects this. If you send entangled particles to a specific coordinate at light speed, such as the limbo in the orbit of the Earth, a simultaneous relationship occurs between the particles you have sent and the half that stayed with you. Thanks to that, you can receive and send data.”

  “But why the Earth? Why do we go inside humans and dominate them?”

  “The distance is vast, and we are limited to light speed. Compared to sending a space craft across a long distance, sending a consciousness and using living forms at our destination as avatars is far preferable. If the aim is to examine, observe, and convey the experiences there, this is the one and only way.”

  “But why humans?”

  “They are the only beings who have improved enough storage modules that can collect information and make a decision. Of course, it has taken a long time to eliminate the incompatible ones from the gene pool in order to create a race with the desired features. This is how the wild hunter and gatherer communities from ten thousand years ago were thus tamed over time.”

  “So we are the reason for all those wars, diseases, and death? It was all to bring about the taming of quiet, strong, and fast horses that can carry us on their backs without throwing us off, like breeding sheep that produce more milk, meat, and wool?”

  “Correct logic, sir.”

  “Are all the living humans used and managed by us?”

  “Almost, sir. There are some human communities trying to live untamed. You leave them to protect nature.”

  “Does that mean that all the earth’s known civilization, the products of thought, the art work, I mean…these are all masterpieces of ours? Have we created all of this?”

  “Before you arrived, the wild humans used to live eating carcasses, raw meat, tree leaves, and roots, and if you hadn’t come, they would still be doing the same. Like monkeys, they would only have stones to hunt their prey and smash their fruit. But now, a species that struggled to survive for half a million years can travel by plane, exchange data on the internet, and use a lot of devices they don’t fully understand. Leaving a wild animal on its own and waiting for it to invent the microwave would take us beyond the lifespan of the universe. It is more likely for sand particles blowing in the desert to fall to the ground and build the Eiffel Tower.”

  “What about religion? The holy books?”

  “That is a really interesting subject, sir. Actually, all the holy books and religions arose not from us but from the primitive humans we manage. Maybe that’s why you can’t understand it. Also, we still haven’t found the entity that tries so hard to be in touch with them. The one they call ‘God;’ their perception window is just too narrow.

  “What is stranger yet is that the holy book says you will go through ‘iron obstacles’ and attack humanity in raids, as in the stories of Yecuc and Mecuc or Gog and Magog. It says there is a layer of iron sand which must be overcome to reach the Earth once every five thousand years. The calendar of the Mayans and of the planet Marduc of the Sumerians predicts the period when our sphere of influence gets stronger and we can directly reach the Earth.”

  “Actually,” I jumped in, “the same belief says Yecuc and Mecuc/Gog and Magog get defeated. The book says that something like the Dabbat al-Ard, or the Beast of the Earth, will cause it.”

  “Yes, strangely enough, it seems like what has been predicted will occur. A bacteria in the camel’s saliva has evolved in Medina, where the plague didn’t visit. It has been spreading to tame humans all over the world. It is a kind of disease which ends with the loss of brain control.”

  “You mean a microorganism will release the human beings under our control?”

  “Yes, it prevents us from effective administration. There is damage in the data that has been transferred during each life you experience. That’s why the program we use to get back your old abilities doesn’t always work properly, and…”

  “And?”

  “And, it is unsuccessful from time to time.”

  “What do you mean? I’ve come back complete, without any damage, haven’t I?”

  “Well, yes. You don’t have any problems.”

  “If what the holy books say is true, then the Dajjal ( Antichrist ) will come, there will be wars, and the end of the Earth will occur, right?”

  “Humans are about to be free, and they will try to live under their own will.”

  “But, you have said that they can’t produce anything on their own. Their genes have been modified to only serve us. What will they do when they are free? It’s like setting tamed sheep free into nature. They either fall prey to predators or they vanish. Human beings would only survive for two days without the homes, clothes, and food they’re used to.”

  “That is true in theory, according to the experiments we carried out on other animals. The continuation of such species, whose genes have been modified, seems impossible, but of course, that is not certain.”

  “I want to fight for the Earth! I won’t let all our effort and labor be wasted by such a disease. I have to regain the people’s trust. Otherwise, they will all vanish without our protection. The intelligent ones will understand me and join us, won’t they?”

  “You won’t let your sheep be unprotected.”

  “Of course not.”

  “’Who will be the shepherd’ like it says in the Bible?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Just brainstorming, sir, sorry. It is odd that everything has happened as predicted. If you go down onto the Earth and try to convince people, maybe as Dajjal, as it has been described…”

  “Consciousness and knowledge brings responsibility. Although it is called Dajjal and seems bad, I won’t let the people end up in the arms of the disease. I will find a way to heal them and try to convince them that I do it for their own good. But, if it doesn’t work, I will fight.”

  “Like taking a sheep back to the flock before it falls prey to the wolf, then keeping it in the barn and butchering and eating it in the fall.”

  “Maybe so, if you look at it with plain logic, but I will do it to help them live on and make them better. Whatever the motive, isn’t the result more important?”

  “I am just a program you designed, sir. How would I dare judge you?”

  “The invasion of humanity and the Earth happened a long time ago. If fighting is necessary to protect what we achieved, then it is inevitable. Yes, start the preparations and send me back to Earth, as Dajjal, if necessary.”

  “It has already been done, sir. You are ready to go back, but you have to make a choice.”

  “What choice?”

  “Can you choose a number from one to three?”

  “Why?”

  “For a little modification, sir.”

  “Four.”

  The Main Station,

  The Dark Side of the Moon

  INCOMING MESSAGE FROM LIMBO STATION:

  “The 28th attempt to save the damaged consciousness and restore its abilities has concluded negatively. There are no improvements and the increasing rate of reflections has caused the system to become unstable.”

  Limbo

  INCOMING MESSAGE FROM MAIN STATION (DARK SIDE OF THE MOON):

  “There is no possibility of saving the program. Transfer all data received to the main station. End the consciousness, then proceed to system shut down.”

  …

  Before the program shut down its systems, it showed kindness to the “consciousness” that had taken such initiative. Before destroying it, it sent the consciousness to its chosen fate and let it have its fictional joy.

  1. Selen: active

  2. Maria: X

  3. Hellen: X

  Loading…

  After returning from the expedition to Beijing, I ran to the tent of the shaman to see Selen. I barely recognized the beautiful girl in front of me
. Remembering the one I had left and seeing her so changed upset me and reminded me that we were no longer children.

  We rode horses to a faraway point on the rocks, where the tents of our people looked like small dots. Turning our backs to the village, we stared at the setting sun absently and remained quiet for a long time. Finally, she broke the silence. “I am very sorry for the wolf. I loved it almost as much as you. When the messengers brought the news of victory, they also told me your story.”

  “Nevermind. Let bygones be bygones. Talking about it will not change anything,” I said, stopping her. I didn’t want to speak of the wolf anymore.

  I turned and looked at Selen, “You grew up a lot, and changed…and got more beautiful. However, your eyes still look the same,” I added, trying to change the subject.

  She lightly blushed and looked down, acting as though she wanted to say something.

  “I will leave soon,” I said. “I don’t know how I know, but my end is near, and I have limited time to fulfill what I need to do.”

  “Where will you go?” Selen asked. “I can come with you, if you want. My father used to tell us that you weren’t one of us, and the souls of our ancestors warned him about you. He told me many times to be careful and not to approach you, but I insisted, and with you being the son of Genghis Khan, he didn’t …”

  I put my hand on her hand, and I stared into her eyes. They seemed to be the only light in the sky. I slowly pulled her to me and kissed her lips gently.

  “You are the only one I am glad to know,” I said. “And you are also the last one I want to upset. If you feel the same for me, try to understand me. Just don’t stop me because, if I could, my only choice would be to be with you. The most painful thing is to now realize what I will miss, what could have happened with you…”