The Telling

by Beverly Lewis

  At last, Roan said it right out. “Hackman... I think the name was Dr. Hackman,” he said as Lettie stepped out of the house with Judah by her side.

  “The good doctor sometimes went by the name Dr. Josh, as well,” she said softly, more to herself than to him.

  “Do you know him, Mrs. Esh?”

  She nodded her head, but she had to turn away as the confirmation she’d sought sank in. “Ach, so sorry, Mr. Nelson... will ya please excuse me?”

  Making her way up the sloping lawn, hurrying as best she could – away from Jakob, who looked befuddled and alone over on the walkway – Adah made a beeline toward Heather.

  “Adah, you’re crying,” Heather said as Adah approached her.

  “Will ya come with me, my lamb?” she asked. The endearing name was the very one she and Jakob had always called young Lettie... so long ago.

  Heather rose to meet her and touched her arm. “What is it? What’s happened?”

  “Oh, my dear, dear girl, somethin’ ever so wonderful.” She brushed away her tears, wanting to see clearly Heather’s face. “You told me yesterday that you’d like to someday meet your birth mother. Are you still serious ’bout that?”

  Heather’s face froze in astonishment. She looked over Adah’s head at the crowd gathering around the yard and spilling up along the lane that led to the corncrib and woodshed. “Adah, why? Do you know someone in Ohio searching for me?” Her lips quivered.

  “No, not in Ohio. Here. Your first mother is here.”

  Heather searched her face silently, tears welling up. “Does she know I’m here, too? Does she want to meet me?”

  “Come along, child,” Adah said, walking with her toward the back of the barn. “I have a surprising tale to tell you... about the very first person who ever held you... twenty-four years ago on a lovely April afternoon, in Kidron, Ohio....”

  thirty-seven

  Depleted of energy but filled with peace, Lettie was thankful for Judah’s presence as they waited to be called inside for the common meal of cold cuts. She was aware of a yellow warbler in a tree up the slope, calling a rapid and musical song to its mate: sweet-sweet-sweet. Over in the meadow, teeming clusters of pink cup-shaped mountain laurel flourished. The world struck her as incredibly beautiful.

  Judah said not a word to her, but his being there was a comfort. Had he not come for her following her confession, she might still be kneeling on the floor. Such a brave gesture; she’d never known any man to assist a wayward wife in such a manner. Thinking of it even now made a lump in her throat. I am so blessed to have my husband standing by me... despite our past problems.

  Preacher Josiah called to Judah. “Mind helpin’ fold down the benches?”

  Judah glanced at her, as if to ask whether she’d be all right. She nodded her consent. “I’ll be fine here.”

  He seemed reluctant to go, but headed off toward the house to do the preacher’s bidding.

  Still hearing the warbler’s pretty song, Lettie wondered where her mother had disappeared to, not having seen her since clasping her hand after the amazing verdict.

  Lettie began to walk toward the barnyard, thinking it might help to steady her legs. She felt as if she’d survived a fiery trial, and she raised her face to the sky and thanked God. This was the first day of her new life as a woman cleansed and made whole... and fully accepted. I will be ever grateful to you, Lord.

  Enjoying the sunshine and the summerlike aroma in the noonday air, she noticed her mother coming around the side of the barn with Heather Nelson, the young woman who had made jam with them. “Gracie’s friend,” she whispered, wondering why Mamm was talking with her. “What on earth?”

  She caught her mother’s eye just then, and Mamm and Heather hurried toward her. Their eyes were puffy and red, and they both appeared to be somewhat dazed. None of what she saw made one whit of sense.

  “Mamm?” she called.

  Her mother reached for Heather’s hand, of all things, and led her over the grassy area. “Oh, praise be... you’re here, Lettie.”

  “Is everything all right?” she asked.

  Mamm and Heather stood there, shoulders nearly touching. “Lettie,” her mother began, the words coming quietly at first. “Years ago, I took something very dear from you – twenty-four years ago, in fact. And now... now... I want to...” Adah stopped, her chin quivering uncontrollably. “I want to give... her back.”

  Lettie started, her eyes searching Mamm’s. “What are you saying?” She looked into Heather’s face.

  Mamm stepped back, folding her hands in front of her. “Heather wants to tell you all about it.” Just that quick, her mother left them alone.

  Twenty-four years ago, Mamm took away my firstborn....

  Lettie stared in disbelief at the pretty young woman. Does Mamm mean to say Grace’s friend is my daughter? How is that possible?

  “Lettie... I don’t know what to say,” Heather stumbled. “It never occurred to me that... I mean, I never thought – ”

  It was impossible not to stare at Heather’s face – the way her hairline formed to top off a near perfect heart. She’d never paid much attention to the shape of the girl’s face before now. And there was something about the set of her eyes.

  Lettie trembled. Samuel’s hairline... his eyes . Why didn’t I notice before?

  Yet, in spite of these resemblances, Lettie felt herself backing away, struggling to acknowledge what was implied here. After the years of yearning and her weeks of searching, had God actually brought her lost daughter into Lettie’s own neighborhood?

  Heather’s voice quavered as she shared what she knew about the date and location of her birth – and the fact she had been born of a young Amishwoman. “Initially I thought my biological mother was from Ohio... but it turns out she was only visiting there....”

  Lettie soaked in every detail, unable to take her eyes off the girl. Their surroundings seemed to fall away as the two of them became oblivious to anything but each other. “It’s so hard to believe,” she whispered.

  “I know what you mean – it’s a little crazy, isn’t it?” Heather broke into a wide smile. “But everything matches up, at least according to what I know... and what your mother says. Right down to the name of the doctor: Joshua Hackman.”

  Lettie’s hand flew to her lips as tears sprang to her eyes. She swallowed hard.

  “Lettie... I never thought I’d know you,” Heather said, eyes bright. She frowned. “I didn’t think – ”

  “How can this be?” Lettie whispered, shaking her head as the truth began to sink in.

  “Solid proof is coming by mail,” Heather said. “In a few weeks.”

  Lettie barely heard her. Without thinking, she opened her arms to her. “Oh, my darling girl, I’m so sorry.”

  Heather stepped into her embrace. “Please, don’t be – ”

  “I missed you... all these years.” Lettie was unable to maintain her composure. Then, lest anyone witness their tender exchange, she pulled away. Holding Heather at arm’s length, she looked into her lovely face again.

  Together, they fell into step, walking toward the meadow and momentarily abandoning all thoughts of eating or that Heather’s father was waiting to lead her home. Heather told Lettie about the letter she was expecting from Ohio.

  “So, then, all that time I was off lookin’ for you,” Lettie said, “you must’ve been searchin’ for me.”

  “Not the entire time.” Heather explained how very sick she’d felt during her lowest point at the lodge. “That was the day I decided to contact the Ohio authorities about my adoption.”

  Lettie’s heart dropped. “You’ll be all right, won’t you? You will get well?”

  “I’m hopeful, but it may take some time. I’ll know better after more tests.”

  They talked about Heather’s loving adoptive parents and their interest in Amish country. “We came here together every summer for as long as I can remember. But I never knew until recently that I was of Amish heritage. It’s
one of the reasons my dad’s building a house here.”

  Lettie was helpless to hold back her tears. “I’ve waited so long for this day.” Deep sobs escaped her chest in waves as she reached again for Heather, closing her eyes as she cradled Heather’s head against her own. “Oh, my dear daughter, I’ve found you at last.”

  The Lord giveth and taketh away; blessed be the name of the Lord, she thought, thanking God for His great goodness and mercy.

  Grace straightened her long white apron as she watched her mother and Heather make their way through Preacher Josiah’s meadow. She stood near Becky while waiting for the common meal, quite puzzled by what she saw.

  Mamma scarcely knows Heather....

  She glanced across the yard at Roan Nelson, who was still leaning against his car while talking with Adam and Joe. Unable to dismiss the fact that her mother and Heather seemed surprisingly familiar with each other, Grace shifted her Kapp, helpless to comprehend the scene. It was reassuring to have such a good friend as Becky by her side.

  “Your Mamma looks mighty happy,” Becky remarked quietly.

  “I’d say she’s joyful, knowin’ she won’t be shunned. ” Yet Grace wondered if that was the reason for her mother’s blissful expression.

  “Will you be at Singing tonight?” Becky asked. “No need being shy ’bout it, ya know.”

  Grace knew exactly what Becky meant. “I prob’ly won’t go,” she said, not trusting herself to attend the social gathering. Not after the revelations that had come forth during Mamma’s very public confession. She couldn’t help wondering if Adam and Mandy would attend the Singing tonight, either. The day had been jolting in so many ways.

  “Well, I wouldn’t miss it,” Becky told her. “I’ll even come and sit with you, if that’d make ya feel better.”

  “It’s best I stay home, considering...”

  Becky’s eyes were suddenly downcast. “Whatever you think.”

  Priscilla Stahl strolled up to them, a warm smile on her face. “Grace... just wanted to say how glad I am your Mamma’s a member in good standing yet again.”

  Well, this was unexpected. “Denki,” she said, wondering what more Prissy might say.

  “I admire her for owning up to her sins thataway. Sure says a lot ’bout her.” With those words, Prissy looked prettier than Grace had ever noticed before.

  “The kind of woman you might want for a mother-in-law, maybe?” Grace teased.

  Prissy laughed outright. “I just might... but don’t yous go tellin’ anyone I said so.” With that, Prissy waved and turned back toward the house.

  “Ach, what do you make of that?” Grace whispered to Becky.

  “Mighty surprising, that one.” Becky poked Grace’s arm and put her hand over her mouth.

  The sun peeked out from behind a cloud and shone down on their faces. “Would be a gut time for a sun hat, jah?” Grace looked toward the meadow again, bewildered that Heather and Mamma were still out there.

  “Gracie,” Mammi Adah called from near the barn, “come... I need to talk to you.”

  “I’ll see ya later, Grace – at Singing, I hope.” Becky left to collect her younger sisters.

  Mammi Adah’s face beamed as Grace asked about her mother and Heather.

  Mammi patted her hand. “Gracie, you may have a hard time believin’ what I have to tell ya....” She explained ever so slowly the mighty convincing connections she had made between Heather and Mamma. “I didn’t dare believe it at first, but the puzzle pieces all fit,” she concluded. “Heather is surely your mother’s first child!”

  Goodness! Grace stared at her grandmother. “What?”

  “Are you all right, dear?”

  She shook her head. “I honestly don’t... know.” Grace contemplated the many hours she and Heather had shared on their trip – their curious bond from the start: Heather’s willingness to drive her to Ohio, her eagerness to help look for Mamma. The times they’d talked confidentially about their broken engagements, and Heather’s online friend Jim. Even Yonnie.

  As she considered these things, the astounding reality dawned on her, like a daybreak with clouds, diminishing one by one. “Oh, such strange yet happy news!”

  Her grandmother’s lips quivered and her head nodded – no longer could she speak.

  “Prayer surely brought this gift to Mamma. To us all.” Grace looked over to see her mother giving Heather a welcoming hug, and she felt she was witnessing something almost too personal. Too dear.

  Her grandmother’s eyes followed hers and gazed with love at Mamma and her newfound daughter. Then Mammi Adah turned and regarded Grace again. And there, before her, Grace saw a depth of affection in her grandmother’s blue-gray eyes she’d never observed before. It nearly took her breath away.

  Grace looked to the meadow once more, joy for her mother and for her English friend – my sister! – flowing through her. How long had she yearned for her mother to be this happy... to find a balm for the ache in her too-fragile heart?

  The sweet smell of hay wafted out from the Smuckers’ barn as Heather walked past the wide door and toward the farmhouse with Lettie Byler. She could hardly fathom the remarkable things that had transpired here in the past hour. Her mind reeled, but her heart believed – in every way – that Grace’s mother was also her own.

  She smiled now at Lettie, who walked with great confidence – this courageous woman who’d shared about having just offered a confession to the church membership, the reason for her weeping earlier. But Heather did not care to contemplate that, because what the Amish required of their members was their business. She was, on the other hand, incredibly touched by Lettie’s contagious excitement at discovering their relationship on the very day of her repentance.

  As they walked, Heather looked at the sky, knowing how pleased her adoptive mother would be to hear this if she were alive. Do you know, Mom? Do you see how overjoyed I am?

  “Can ya stay over another day?” Lettie asked, eyes smiling.

  She considered it, knowing she’d have to fill her dad in quickly. “I’d like to... but I want to check with my dad first.”

  Lettie appeared to be holding her breath. “I’m sure there’s more than a day’s worth of catchin’ up between us,” she added.

  Heather smiled. “Remember, I’ll be back to visit my dad here, once his house and my thesis are finished,” she said. “The first of many visits, I hope.”

  That seemed to satisfy Lettie. “Wonderful- gut, then .”

  Heather searched the backyard for any sign of Grace. To think we’re half sisters and didn’t know it!

  “If you do stay longer, I hope you’ll spend the night with us,” Lettie said, her voice hopeful.

  There was something about the way the woman’s face exuded happiness that tugged at Heather’s heart. “You know what? I’m going to stay – I just am. Thanks.” She spotted her father walking toward the barn with Grace’s brothers, well occupied for the moment.

  Her eyes continued to scan the yard. It was Grace, after all, whom Heather most wanted to seek out in the throng of Plain young people now. What will she think of all this?

  thirty-eight

  Grace never would have considered attending the Singing at Preacher Smucker’s that night – not with Mamma’s staggering confession still lingering in her mind. But Heather had come to stay and visit with Mamma, so Grace decided to go.

  Mamma’s heartfelt confession had shaken Grace... and the whole family. But there was a sense of good things ahead, especially with the news of Heather’s belonging to them. Even Dat had offered Heather a warm handshake and a welcoming smile, treating her as if she were his own lost daughter when Mamma introduced them during the common meal.

  Grace had hugged Heather after her long walk with Mamma and looked into her face, knowing why they’d felt such a companionable – no, sisterly – bond, right from the start. Oh, the miracle of God – His ways are past finding out!

  Presently, Grace made space for Heather to spend the night
in her room, offering two wooden pegs on the wall to hang her bathrobe and anything else. “Feel free to pick your side of the bed,” Grace told Heather, still getting used to their kinship.

  “I’ll be fine wherever.” Heather went to sit on the bed, seemingly cautious. Was she a little uneasy about sharing the room? Although when Mamma appeared in the doorway, Heather’s face lit up bright as a full moon.

  “I have something for you, Heather... if you’d like to have it.” Mamma glanced at Grace and held out a book. “It’s poetry – your biological father loved to read and write it. This book was a birthday present from him to me... the year you were born.”

  “Really?” Heather’s mouth dropped open and she rose. “You saved it all this time... for me?”

  Mamma fell silent for a moment; then she handed the book to Heather. “You’ll see the inscription inside.”

  Carefully, Heather opened the book of poems, slowly turning the pages as if they were somehow priceless. “My father liked poetry?” Heather drew Mamma inside the room, and they sat together on the edge of the bed.

  Grace moved toward the doorway. “I’ll be goin’ now, Mamma. Adam’s takin’ Mandy and me to the Singing,” she said.

  “You won’t be too late, will ya?” Mamma looked up.

  “No need to fret,” she replied, fairly certain she’d return as soon as the actual singing portion of the evening was over. Then, to Heather, she waved. “Welcome to our family,” she said. “I’m so glad to have a big sister.”

  Getting up, Heather gave her a hug. “I can’t wait to get acquainted with my entire extended family, too.”

  “That could take some doin’!” Grace looked at Mamma, whose eyes brimmed with joyful tears.

  “Well, I’m up for it, however long it takes.” Heather gave a quick laugh. “Ain’t so?”

  At this, Mamma’s lips spread into a smile. And Grace headed downstairs, her heart torn between Heather – here with Mamma – and seeing Yonnie.

  Grace slipped into Preacher Smucker’s big barn unnoticed and went to stand next to the bales of hay. Not seeing Becky yet, she almost wished she’d stayed put at home with her newfound sister.