Luminosity (Gravity Series #3) (The Gravity Series)
Page 19
Charlotte sipped at her beer, finally tearing her bleary eyes away. “I have privileges.”
“Why?”
She stood up to take a puff from a cigarette and stub it out on the kitchen counter. “If you tell anyone, you know I’ll kill you. And that isn’t a threat; it’s a promise.”
“Understood,” I said.
“McPherson never tells anyone. But he’s my dad.” She immediately scanned my face for my response. I couldn’t help that my eyes went wide, but I tried to keep any other visible reaction at bay. “He slept with my mom, she had me and then he left us when I was like two. I don’t remember him being around at home at all. He pays child support regularly, which just keeps my mom in booze and fake nails.”
“And no one knows about this?” I asked incredulously. My cheeks were growing hot as I realized the depth of his deception.
“You look like you’re going to barf,” Charlotte said, raising one eyebrow. “Are you sure you don’t want a sip?”
Hesitating briefly, I snagged the beer and drank a little of the gross liquid, then held the cold can to my forehead.
“Yeah, nobody knows about it,” Charlotte continued. “Like he’s ashamed of me. He’s been really creepy about it lately, though; calling me every week and telling me to make sure no one knew I was his daughter.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know. But I think it has something to do with that creepy Thornhill Society. He’s gotten way too devoted to them and they treat him like a doormat. At least he knows how it feels.”
I stared down at the stained floor, making a circle with my shoe. “Yeah. My dad just left my mom. She’s trying to get in with the Thornhill Society, too,” I told her. “The minute that happened, everything else fell apart.”
I kind of expected her to sneer, to pull away or call me a wimp or something. But her voice remained soft. “How did that happen?”
I explained what I could of their argument, about Callie, about the change in Claire.
“I’m sorry,” Charlotte said. “It sucks when your parents give up on you. That’s why I just stopped caring. I started dressing the way I do because I wanted them to notice, but that didn’t even work. My mom was actually talking about having something pierced. She doesn’t even see me.”
“I see you,” I said. “You’re not invisible.”
The corners of her mouth tilted upwards. “Good to know you have eyes.” But she was still smiling.
We sat in companionable silence, the weight of our revelations heavy in the stagnant air, as a lonely dog barked outside.
###
I was beginning to keep a collection. As I sifted through the newest day’s mail, I took out two more skinny, flat envelopes addressed to me. They went into the pile on my desk. Rejection letters, from different aspiring colleges I’d applied to.
I also had two acceptance packets. I sat at my desk and held one in each hand. One was for Eastern Michigan University, where I had really wanted to go. But that was part of the plan that involved staying close to home.
The other envelope was for a school in Washington. I put the packet from EMU down and looked at the one from the that school. I’d already opened both packets, but I didn’t take the contents out again. This was my potential future I was looking at. For some reason, it was too hard to face it now. All I could think of was the strain it would put on my relationship with Henry. Despite what he’d said, Washington was clear across the country.
My phone buzzed and I picked it up, stashing the packets and envelopes away.
Meet me up at Dante’s. Alex is coming too, I’ve got news! the text from Theo read.
Alex’s Creep arrived at the same time I did, so we parked together in the lot. We settled into a booth before Theo arrived, having not said a word except to the waitress. Alex was twiddling his thumbs, looking like he might swallow his tongue. The carefree boy from Halloween was gone.
I shifted in my seat across from him. “What’s eating you?”
Alex hid his hands in his lap. “I just have a feeling I’m not going to like this news.”
“Pessimist,” I teased him, trying to get him to smile.
“Believe me, I hope so.” His maudlin expression didn’t abate, a red flush across his tanned, freckled complexion.
“Didn’t she tell you anything?”
He began to say something, but his eyes caught on activity behind my shoulder. I turned and saw Theo walking towards us, looking like she was trying to contain excitement. Her ruby hair was pulled up with barrettes in the shape of cherries, and she was wearing a black party dress. Gold glitter sparkled on her eyelids. Just like before, I took in how much she had matured from pretty to drop dead gorgeous.
Theo arrived at our table and sat next to Alex as he scooted over. She pecked him on the cheek. “Hey guys, have you ordered yet?”
“Yeah. So, what’s this news?” Alex erupted immediately, like he couldn’t wait any longer. His face was even redder than before.
Theo looked at him wide-eyed, then smiled self-consciously. “I’m guessing you guys have already figured it out. I got into the school. My acceptance arrived today, big old honkin’ envelope full of fun stuff.”
Alex let out a deep breath, still stone serious. “So, you’re going to leave. Just like that.”
“I’m not leaving; I’m going back,” Theo said. “We have plenty of time to figure something out, if we want to. It won’t be until the middle of next year. We can find an apartment, my mom will help….”
“I don’t want to move to Illinois,” Alex said, his nostrils flaring. “I don’t want to find some crappy part-time job or go to some stupid community college for business administration.”
“What do you want to do?” Theo asked, her voice tight.
“I don’t know. Maybe travel? Drive around the country, like we talked about? Figure out what I want to do with my life before I jump right into it.”
“You knew about this,” Theo said, staring at him “This was the plan all along.”
“I thought you’d change your mind. Or at least consider my point of view,” Alex said, his voice raised. “You haven’t, once. It’s been your way or no way from the very start.”
Theo looked taken aback, edging as far away as the booth would allow. “I can’t believe you’d get this upset.”
I shrank back in my booth, too, staring at my hands and trying not to look at them as their voices became louder. It was like watching the replay of a bad accident when you knew there had been no survivors.
“Be honest with me. You never intended for this relationship to go on longer than a couple of months,” Alex said.
“That’s not true!”
“That’s exactly the truth. You think I’m a chump, like I have nothing to offer.”
“You hate my dad so much, but you’re just as controlling as he is. Just in a different way.”
I felt embarrassed; I shouldn’t be witnessing this. It reminded me too much of my parents; I was a voyeur. It was especially painful because they were both my friends.
“No, I’m not!” Alex said defensively. “He doesn’t think you have any talent because he’s a blind jerk. I know you have talent and that’s why I don’t think you need school. You could make it on your own.”
“I don’t want to take the hard road,” Theo said. “Not if I don’t have to. This could be a huge opportunity. I’m not going to be stuck in this town the rest of my life and I’m not going to be like my mother and come back after getting away.”
“I never said you had to be stuck.” Alex nudged Theo so that she slid out of the booth. He bolted up, stretching his arms out dramatically. “I just don’t want you leaving me and forgetting me in the city with your big new life. That’s all your talk about anymore. You have no time for me, no time, really, for Ariel because you’re working so much.”
I wished he hadn’t dragged my name into it. I stared down at the table in embarrassment.
“S
o, you’re saying I’m selfish?” Theo asked in confusion.
“No, babe, I’m not saying that. I’m saying you’re shutting yourself off again, and I don’t want to be a part of it.”
He lurched away from the booth and slammed out of the restaurant. Theo and I were left to look at each other. She slumped back down into her seat.
I pushed a basket of curly fries in her direction. “Fried food?”
“Thanks.” She started munching on a curl, appearing lost in thought.
“It’s not fair that he doesn’t get it, but you have to understand how he feels,” I said. “You’ve been together for two years. And I’m not taking his side, so please don’t think that.”
“Oh, I know…” Theo said. “I never said there were sides. Don’t feel like you have to pick a side, I know we’re both your friends. I just wish I could get through to him; we don’t have to break up just because I’m moving out of town. Even if he doesn’t go with me. We can keep up every day; we have enough methods, this isn’t 1955.”
“He just thinks he’s going to be stuck here,” I said. “That’s what I’m getting out of it. Everyone else is going to move on and he has no way out.” Just like someone else I know. “I’m sure you’ll get through it.”
Theo didn’t answer at first, staring at the melting ice in her drink. “I hope so.”
“Well, I’m really happy for you. Congratulations.” I smiled and squeezed her hand.
She smiled sheepishly and smoothed her hair back. “Thanks. I can’t wrap my head around it yet, it seems to good to be true.”
“I got accepted at a couple myself.”
“Really? Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked excitedly. She leaned forward, the glitter on her eyes sparkling like a crown. “Where?”
“EMU and Antioch University Seattle. I was really leaning towards psychology. The brains without the drugs.”
“That is awesome for you,” Theo said, showing an enthusiasm I didn’t feel.
I looked down at my lap. “Yeah, but I don’t know which one to pick. It’s really far away.”
“Why is that a bad thing? I would think you’d be eager to spread your wings. What’s keep you in Michigan?”
I thought about what to tell her. I could say Jenna. I didn’t want to leave her but she was right—I couldn’t stay locked in Hell forever with my dead friend.
“Old roots,” I said, and changed the subject.
###
I knew that things were bad between Theo and Alex, but I still didn’t know how bad. When I was coming to collect Theo after class so we could go to the commons for lunch, I saw Alex and her hunkered down in the classroom doorway.
Their expressions indicated the serious nature of their conversation, so I dropped my initial idea of interrupting them. They were exchanging quiet words, both of their faces solemn. Alex reached out and wrapped her in a hug and then they parted ways. His face looked like a bomb had gone off.
“Don’t tell me that was just what I think it was,” I said to Theo as she came to me.
She nodded, putting her hands over her nose and ducking her head. “I broke up with him. I couldn’t take it anymore.” Tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. “What did I do?”
She reached for me and sobbed in the shoulder of my shirt. I was even more shocked. I’d assumed he’d broken up with her.
I stayed over at Theo’s that night, consoling her the only way I knew how—with bad movies and junk food. She was wearing her glasses, her hair up in a ponytail, clad in pajamas with kittens.
“I don’t know where it all went wrong. I think it just got too serious. I mean, I’ve never even lived outside my parents’ houses yet.” Theo had dried her tears for the moment and I thought she was maybe teetering on the edge of denial.
“That’s understandable. Do you think you’ll give him another chance, eventually?” She just seemed so brokenhearted about the split. They had been together an awfully long time.
“I don’t know,” she said, rolling over onto her back. “I hate two things, Ari. One, Being suffocated and two, liars.”
A guilty shudder rippled through me when she said liars. I briefly thought about Henry, about all the times I’d told her I was busy with other things when Henry and I were sneaking time together. “I didn’t know that Alex was lying to you.”
“He wasn’t. My dad’s been lying to me an awful lot though,” Theo said. She flipped back around so that she was looking at me and pushed her glasses up. “Not just about quitting smoking, either. He asked me to front him a loan for his electrical bill and then I come back and find two bottles of vodka and a stack of scratch-off tickets in his kitchen cupboard.”
“Geez, Theo,” I said, stunned. “Don’t give that scumbag money.”
“I’m not going to,” Theo said, but she didn’t sound convinced. “I don’t want to think about it anymore. Tell me about all the paranormal activities I’ve missed while in the middle of my own soap opera.”
I filled her in on traveling invisibly and Phillip’s tumor. She stared quietly at me the whole time in awe, pillow scrunched up beneath her.
“I love how you’re just so casual about it,” She said finally. “‘Oh, I have an evil necklace that makes me invisible.’ No big deal.”
I shrugged. “I guess it’s just become normal to me. Easier when you’re weird starting out.”
“Do you have it on you?” she asked, curious. I fished it out of the side of my backpack, using my sleeves and a book to slide it out. Theo watched in amusement as I dropped it into her hand.
“I don’t see or feel anything,” Theo said. “Unless the ghost realm is exactly the same as the regular one.”
“I’m pretty sure it only works for people who have the Sight. It didn’t work for Harlow, either.”
“What’s your next move?” Theo asked after I’d put the necklace away.
“Watching out for McPherson,” I said. “If Phillip thinks he’s dangerous, he must be. And I really think he was looking for my necklace.”
“I thought we ruled him out forever ago?”
“Just because Warwick was caught,” I pointed out. “He’s still a creep and he’s still part of Thornhill. And he still had that weird meeting back at Blind Devil. There’s something wrong with him too, Theo. He’s been limping and acting really odd. Saying all this weird stuff. I think that whatever caused Warwick’s lunacy and Phillip’s tumor got to McPherson, too.”
###
Going back into my empty house, the ticking of the grandfather clock was my only companion. It was pouring cold rain outside and I could barely see the lawn through the sheet of water on the sliding glass door. I thought about all of the couples falling apart around me. Pairings that I had thought were indestructible.
I laid in bed that night, fiddling with my phone, unable to relax. When Claire had gotten home, she’d lectured me for twenty minutes on leaving my shoes on the dining room floor. It hadn’t helped my level of stress.
What if our relationship dissolves, too? I texted Henry. A lump of anxiety had knotted at the top of my spine.
Not gonna happen
But they were so in love with each other…
I know. Alex has been a mess…Ive been babysitting him all wkend. But we’ll make it through. Look at what we’ve already come through.
I tried to hold his words close, to blot out my approaching doubts. But I felt like there were so many obstacles ahead of us that we were still in danger.
When can we go to the hill again?
Soon, I hope. I can always come over, maybe later tonight?
I was about to text him in the affirmative, when I heard Claire stomping down the basement stairs. I frowned, setting my phone down and going out to see what had lit a fire underneath her.
Claire was over by the French doors with a hammer in her hand. I rushed over to her.
“What are you doing?” I asked, trying to comprehend what I was seeing: Claire, three nails held in her mouth, hammer
ing a lock on top of the doors.
Claire spoke around her mouth full of hardware. “I’ve always trusted you not to take advantage of your freedoms. But then I come and find out you’ve been doing it anyway.”
She gestured down to the floor. There were two faded, dirty shoe prints, obviously larger than either of our feet, on the carpet. I recognized the distinctive pattern from Henry’s Adidas.
“I can explain—” I began frantically, but she cut me off.
“I don’t want to hear whatever lies you’re going to concoct. I know you’ve been sneaking some boy over, between that sweatshirt I found and the fact that I thought I heard a male voice downstairs. I’ve been too busy to put two and two together, which I’m sure you took advantage of.”
I resented the implication, and I crossed my arms tightly as she finished hammering the new lock. “You can’t just do this.”
She turned and glared at me, her eyes full of smug contempt. “Oh, can’t I? This is my house now, Ariel. I can do whatever I please. I’m going to keep the only key to this lock, but if I find out you’ve somehow sneaked him over anyway I’ll take away the car, too. Do you understand me?” Her voice was conversational and bittersweet. She was picking up quite a few tricks from Deana Ford, it seemed.
“You have no right to do this to me,” I said, glaring and her and struggling hard against the tears that were trying to force themselves out. I’d never had her be quite this mean and controlling before.
“I have every right,” she said. “You’ll learn that soon enough.” Then she was rushing back up the stairs. I stared at the lock, reconsidering Hugh’s offer. I didn’t know how much longer I could live like this.
###
The social impact of my friends’ breakup was bigger than I’d imagined. Alex didn’t seem to think he could talk to me anymore. He went back to sitting with Henry in the popular wing of the commons. Having been our class clown the entire time he was in school, it was a big change when he now clammed up in class and sat quietly by himself. Theo’s wounds began to heal, but slowly. She was every bit as distraught as Alex, bringing on tears occasionally when the conversation would come around to something related to him.