Breakaway

by Deirdre Martin

  “And when will you be leaving to start this mad idea of yours?”

  “I don’t know exactly.”

  “But until then—”

  “Until then, you’ll be meeting Diana Everett on Thursday. I’m going to show her the ropes Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. She can start next Monday. I told her she’ll have Sundays off, as is customary. I also asked around to find out what a decent wage is, and that’s what you’ll be paying her.”

  Her mother was flabbergasted. “You can’t do this.”

  “Then you find someone else between now and Thursday,” Erin replied with a shrug. She walked out of the kitchen, her heart rapping against her ribs. There. She’d done it. And with any luck, it wouldn’t be undone. But with her mother, you never knew.

  * * *

  It had been a dead ballsy thing to do. Then again, Rory had never lacked for balls.

  The lip-lock in the alley with Erin left him frustrated. Two steps forward, one step back. More like four steps back, he thought ruefully. He knew she still cared. To even say to him, “I need space,” proved that. It was a helluva long way from, “Leave me alone, Rory.” One of the hard things about it was the time being wasted. If they got back together now, they could enjoy the rest of the summer together. If they hadn’t mended things by the time he had to go back to New York, he didn’t know what the hell he’d do. The only person he could think of to help him out was Sandra. If that wasn’t a testament to his desperation, nothing was.

  Standing at Sandra’s door, he was happy to find himself face-to-face with LJ, even if LJ did look a bit apprehensive.

  “Hey, mate. How’s it going?”

  “All right,” LJ said suspiciously.

  “Is your mam home?”

  “Yeah.” He looked worried. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “’Course you didn’t. Why on earth would you think such a thing? I just need to talk to her about Erin, is all.”

  LJ ushered him into the chaos of his home. Lucy wasn’t there, thank Christ. Last time Rory had seen her, she was sitting outside the Oak with a gaggle of friends. They were passing around a cig, thinking they looked so sophisticated.

  Oona was nowhere in sight, either, which disappointed him a bit. Last time he’d seen her, she was all sharp elbows and knobby knees, prone to mad fits of giggling. A terrifically smart thing, she was madly in love with Nicky Byrne of Westlife. Made sense: she was a little girl, and little girls liked crap music.

  Reggae music was blasting away in the kitchen as the stomach-rumbling scent of frying chips wafted his way. Second best smell in the world, the first being the soft scent of Erin’s skin.

  “I’ll tell mam you’re here.”

  “Ta, LJ.”

  He’d barely had a chance to look round before Sandra appeared in front of him, her eyes cold as marble.

  “Hiya, Sandra.”

  Sandra nodded curtly. “Rory.”

  “I was wondering if I might have a word.”

  “C’mon,” she said stiffly. LJ started walking into the kitchen with them but stopped when Sandra lightly touched his shoulder. “Just grown-ups for now, all right, love?”

  LJ’s shoulders sank, but he obeyed his mother and sulked his way back into the living room, his face a pout. Rory winked at him; that seemed to cheer him a bit.

  In the kitchen, he was shocked by the sight of a pink-cheeked, black-haired toddler sitting in a booster seat at the table, happily chomping away on mash and peas. He knew San had had another baby, but this was the first time he’d actually seen her.

  “Who’s this, then?” The baby was cute: all Sandra, no Larry.

  “Gina.”

  Rory slid into the chair next to the baby. “Hiya, Gina. I’m Rory.”

  “I don’t know why you’re telling her your name, seeing as you’re never going to see her again.”

  The baby offered him a spoon full of mash, but Rory turned it down. “It’s your dinner, love. You eat it all up, like a good girl.”

  Sandra was unsmiling. “What do you want, Rory Brady?”

  “Need to talk to you about Erin. First things first, though: how are you?”

  Sandra’s voice was clipped. “I’m fine.”

  Okay, so the theme of the evening was going to be “Back off, Rory.” He understood. But it wasn’t going to stop him from getting what he came for.

  “So…Erin?”

  Sandra went over to the stove, giving the frying chips a good stir before turning up the burner beneath the ancient chip pan. “Nothing to talk about, as far as I can see.”

  “This isn’t easy for me, San.”

  “Good.”

  “But you’re the only one I can talk to about this.”

  Sandra turned to him. “Go talk to Father Bill. Maybe he’ll make you say ten decades of the rosary for penance and then you can piss off back to New York.”

  “Could you cut the show short? You know I wouldn’t come round here buggin’ you if I didn’t think it was important.”

  “Go on, then,” Sandra returned with a smirk. “I need a good laugh.”

  “I know Erin still loves me.”

  “Why? Because you saved her from big bad Larry Joyce?”

  Rory bit down hard on his tongue to stop himself from saying something he might regret. Keep to the issue of Erin, he told himself. Sandra’s life is a muddle and she’s not thinking clearly. Stick to Erin.

  “Mock all you want, but you know Erin loves me, too. Even though she hasn’t come out point-blank and said it; I see it in her eyes and in her body language, I feel it in her kiss…”

  Sandra looked shocked. “You kissed her?”

  “No, she kissed me.” Technically, that was true.

  “What did you do? Hold a loaded pistol to her head?”

  “I’ll ignore that comment. You know I’ve been driving her—”

  “I’m her best mate, you flaming eejit. Of course I know. What do you want?”

  “You know what I want.”

  The chip pan was beginning to smoke. Sandra turned the burner down low. “And what the hell do you expect me to do?”

  “Tell her she should give me a second chance.”

  “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding. Even if she still loved you, you think I’d plead your case after what you did to her?”

  “Biggest mistake of my life,” said Rory gloomily.

  Sandra snorted. “I’ll say it was.”

  “At least I’m admitting it and trying to fix it.”

  “That’s nice. But it doesn’t make you a good man. Because you’re not.”

  “If I’m so horrible, then why were you so keen on the competition?” Rory asked in puzzlement. “I mean, you had to know that if I won, she’d be spending time with me.”

  Sandra reddened. “I was a bit tipsy that night.”

  “No kidding.”

  Gina was banging her spoon against her plate. “I’m done.”

  “Down you go, then.” Sandra helped her off the booster seat. “Go sit with LJ.”

  Sandra gave him the once-over now that it was just the two of them. “All right, I’ll give you that one about the contest. But there’s a world of difference between that and my telling her I think she should forgive you, when all you’ve done is wreck her life.”

  “I’m talking about second chances here. You forgave Larry over and over. That bastard didn’t get just a second chance; he got twenty feckin’ chances, if not more. And don’t tell me it’s different because you were married and had kids.”

  For a second it looked like Sandra might fly at him. But whatever flare-up of temper she felt in that moment, she held back, because she knew he was right.

  “I heard he pulled a runner,” Rory said softly.

  “Don’t pretend you had nothing to do with it.” Sandra put on a devil-may-care look. “Anyway, what of it? It was bound to happen eventually, right? Larry Joyce, King of the Scum.”

  “I wish it had happened sooner.”

  “Oh, do you, now
? Why, because you give so much of a damn about me?”

  “You’ve been Erin’s best friend forever. You’ve been there for her, no matter what. You deserve better than what you’ve got, San. A better life, a better man.”

  “Not going to find one of those, am I?” she replied sarcastically. “Unless I order one in the mail.”

  “There are good men in this town.”

  “Father Bill doesn’t count.”

  “Jake?”

  “Jake?” Sandra looked at him with contempt. “The same Jake who’s competing with you for Erin? Yeah, okay, I’ll take Erin’s castoffs. Sure. Why not?”

  “That’s not it at all and you know it. Didn’t you have a bit of a case for him in school?”

  Sandra was incredulous. “That was yonks ago, Rory. I’ve no interest in him beyond him being a good mate. Have you gone soft in the head?”

  Rory shrugged. “I dunno. I just thought two good-looking, single people who’ve known each other forever, who get along and want the same things—”

  “Shove it up your arse!” Sandra snapped indignantly. “You think I need your matchmaking help? Keep your bloody nose out of other people’s business.”

  She marched over to the stove, twisting the burner beneath the chip pan off. “I’m still not seeing why you’d think I’d go shaking a tambourine about, singing your praises.”

  “Because you love her and you want her to be happy. You and I both know she can’t have the life she wants in Ballycraig. There’s no future for her here. She wants to get that degree and leave, but she also wants me. You give your stamp of approval and it’s done. Your word is like law with her.

  “Look, I’m not expecting you to do anything that’s truly against your conscience. If telling her to give me a second chance is something you just can’t stomach, I understand. Seriously.”

  Sandra was quiet as she pulled two plates out of the cupboard and began setting the table. “I do want her happy,” she said. “I want that more than anything in the world.” She looked at Rory. “But I’m not sure you know what you did to her. Truly.”

  Rory flinched. “I do know. That’s why I’m swearing to you that will never happen again. The man that did that to her was a total shite. I’m not that man anymore. I’m doing the best I can to prove it.”

  “I know you are,” Sandra muttered reluctantly.

  She dumped the mountain of chips on a big plate and brought it to the table. Rory could tell from her expression that she was right on the edge of caving in, and he waited.

  “Right,” she said resignedly. “I’ll talk to her. But I’m not pushing her, you got that?”

  She clapped her hands loudly. “LJ! Oona! Tea!”

  LJ came racing into the kitchen, groaning when he looked at the kitchen table. “Chips? Again? All we eat is chips!”

  “Some people don’t even have that,” Sandra replied edgily.

  Before Rory could even open his mouth, Sandra wheeled on him and mouthed, “NO!”

  Rory nodded with resignation. There was no reason for her to play proud with him. He, Erin, and Jake had all helped her and the kids out over the years. Did she think he was such an idiot that he’d give her cash in front of the kids?

  Gina toddled in and Sandra picked her up, swinging her around and blowing a big raspberry on her cheek. “You silly little monkey. Who’s Mam’s silly little monkey?”

  LJ slouched down miserably in his chair.

  Rory gave him a surprised look. “What’s with the face? You don’t like chips?”

  “We have them all the time.”

  “That’s good! Have you never heard of carbohydrates? Go look it up on your computer when you’re done eating. Carbs are really important if you want to play sports. Really important.”

  LJ perked up a bit. “Really?”

  “Yeah, really! Why would I lie to you?”

  LJ looked at his mother. “Is it true?”

  “’Course it is,” said Sandra, as if it were something everyone knew. “Why’d ya think we’ve got chips coming out of our ears? I want you to be doin’ well at the football camp.”

  LJ broke into a wide grin and began heaping chips on his plate.

  “I’m just going to see Rory out now. I’ll be right back.”

  “Thanks for talking to me, San,” said Rory when they reached the front door.

  “I’m not that cold of a one, am I?”

  “’Course you’re not.” There was a moment of awkwardness. “Look, don’t bite my head off when you hear what I have to say, all right? But if I can ever help you and the kids out in any way, please let me do it.”

  Rory waited for the verbal blast. Instead, Sandra, ever proud, looked like she was struggling to hold back tears. “Thank you, Rory.”

  “It’s no problem.”

  “Would you like to stay for tea?” Sandra asked quietly.

  “Thanks, but I’m set.”

  Sandra opened the door. “Well, thanks for stopping by.” Her voice held out a small touch of promise. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  22

  “Rory told me that I should tell you that I think you should take him back.”

  It was a gorgeous Saturday morning, the sun having decided to make an appearance. There was still dew on the grass, along with a small, refreshing nip in the air. Erin had taken the opportunity of grabbing Sandra for a breakfast by the pond, thanks to a rare alignment of the planets known as “Gran wants to see her kiddies.” The kids were at San’s mom’s house, and now Erin and she were sitting on an itchy old army blanket not far from the water’s edge, with a pile of egg sandwiches and a vacuum flask of tea between them.

  “Can I hear that again, please?” Erin asked. “I’ve not got enough tea in my brain to process what you just said.”

  “One minute,” Sandra garbled as she took a bite of her sandwich. “Rory said—”

  “Wait. Back up the lorry. When did you see Rory?”

  “He came round to mine on Thursday.”

  Erin was skeptical. “Rory came round to yours.”

  “No, I’m a big fat lyin’ sow! Yes, he came round to my house.”

  “For what?”

  “What d’ya think, you daft cow?”

  Erin closed her eyes. “Okay, okay, so paint me the picture.”

  “I’m painting you nothing, Erin. I’m just going to tell you what happened. If you want to add ‘There was a purple halo round Rory’s head,’ you can do that. But don’t ask me what he was wearing or how did he look or any of that.”

  Erin frowned, disappointed. “Go on, then.”

  “So, he came round. Shocked to shit, I was. I knew it couldn’t be about LJ, because if it was, he would have rang up and we’d have had some meeting up at the camp.”

  “Right.”

  “In he comes. No beating around the bush with that one. He says, ‘I know Erin loves me, you know she loves me, please talk to her and help her to see reason.’”

  “Reason!” Erin tore off a piece of her sandwich roughly and threw it into the pond at the duck who wouldn’t stop staring at her.

  “He didn’t exactly use the word reason.”

  “What did he say, then?”

  “Look, it’s all a big gobbledygook of words in my head,” Sandra replied, flustered. “But the upshot was that if I thought he was a changed man, and if I knew that you loved him and that being with him would make you happy, I should be honest and tell you so. The end.”

  “Not the end.” Erin swallowed a bit of sandwich. “Since when have you ever done someone else’s bidding?”

  “Jesus wept, Erin, it’s not bidding.” Sandra licked some dripping butter from her fingers. “It’s bringing the truth out into the light.”

  “Yeah? And what truth would that be?”

  “That you still love him—and don’t even try to protest, because we share the same brain, girl.”

  Erin downed a gulp of sugary tea. “Right, so he tells you I love him, and you think I love him, so then what?�
��

  “He realizes he was a dick, and he swears he’s changed his dickish ways.”

  “Do you believe he’s amended his dickish ways?”

  “For Christ’s sake,” said Sandra in exasperation, “would you let me finish one sentence before you leap at me like some deranged creature?” Erin glared at her. “Thank you.

  “As I was saying,” Sandra resumed pointedly, “it was all about the dickish ways ’n’ that. And I was holding my ground. But then he said something I couldn’t respond to, because of the truth of it: he said everyone deserved a second chance, and I should know all about that seeing as I forgave Larry loads of times.”

  Sandra fell silent. Erin studied her friend’s face: she looked so fragile sitting there, a worn out little girl with tired eyes, staring out at the gentle ripples of the pond’s surface.

  “I know you miss him, San.” Erin put an arm around her shoulder. “I know it’s tough.”

  “It is, even though I know he’s a prick.” Sandra took a long drink of tea. “But the thing is, Rory was right. People do deserve second chances.”

  “Even Rory Brady?”

  Sandra frowned. “Even him.” She lifted her face up to the sun, wiggling her toes and taking a deep breath. “God, I’m freezing my tits off.”

  “Me, too,” Erin confessed with a small shudder.

  “We’re tough, though. We can stay.”

  “I agree.”

  “Right. Here’s my big finale, Er: I do believe he’s well and truly sorry for what he’s done, and I do know you still love him.”

  “I haven’t said I still love him,” Erin gingerly pointed out.

  “You don’t have to!” Sandra bellowed. “This is me you’re talking to, remember? You love him. Okay?” Her voice was so loud a flock of birds scattered.

  “I love him, I love him, calm down.”

  “You and your semantics and technicalities—oh! Oh! Christ, I’m an idiot! How could I forget? Rory said you kissed him. Is that true?”

  “We kissed casually. It was no big deal.”

  “Then tell me all about it.”

  “Well.” Erin pictured a smaller, hysterical version of herself running around her brain, arms flapping, screaming, Help get me out of this! “We were both in Crosshaven, and we passed the jewelry store.”