Scattered Pieces

by Allie Able

  I hesitantly step forward and lift her chin, so that she has no choice but to look at me. She looks scared and vulnerable. I know that something bad has happened.

  “Please don't lie to me. What happened?” I see something pass over her face, but it's gone before I can figure out what it was, making me feel like I just imagined it.

  “It's nothing, I'm just tired.” I search her eyes for a second, but all I can see is steely determination.

  “Do you want to call the party off? I won't mind.” I tell her softly. She is shaking her head, before I can even finish my sentence.

  “No. Not at all. I'm just going to go shower and freshen up. I'll feel better after that. I promise,” she says, giving me a tight smile.

  I reluctantly nod my head. “Okay, sweetheart. Nick and I are out back. You want to come meet him, after you've showered?” I ask.

  She nods her head in response. “Yeah, if that's okay? People will start getting here, in about an hour. I need to go start getting ready.”

  I lean forward and kiss her forehead. “Okay.” I let her go and watch her walk away. I know she is lying, but I have no clue what to do about it. I breathe out a sigh, as I make my way back outside.

  * * *

  Summer walks outside a short time later. She looks beautiful anytime of the day, but right now she looks unbelievably stunning. She is wearing a long, green dress, with thin straps. Her hair is down in waves and her makeup is done a little heavier.

  “Jesus Christ,” I hear Nick mumble. I look over at him and see him staring at Summer appreciatively.

  “Watch it,” I growl.

  He looks over at me, with a smirk on his face, as Summer approaches us. I stand up and place my hand on her back and search her eyes. I notice she still looks a little sad, but besides that she looks like her normal self.

  “Felling better?” I whisper, for her ears only.

  She gives me a nod and kisses my cheek. I turn and look at Nick and notice is still looking her up and down.

  “Nick, this is my girlfriend Summer. Summer, this is my best friend, Nicholas, who is about to get his ass kicked if he doesn't fucking stop looking at you like that,” I say, through clenched teeth.

  “Grant!” Summer scolds, while blushing.

  Nick laughs and reaches out his hand. “It's nice to meet you, Summer. I've heard so much about you, from Lexie and Grant.”

  Summer is still shooting daggers at me with her eyes, but turns and shakes Nick's hand, giving him a sweet smile. “It's nice to meet you too, Nick. I've heard so much about you, as well.”

  The little shit raises Summer's hand, to kiss the back of it, but I reach over and take it from him, before he has a chance to get his mouth any where near my girl.

  “Nick, I'm fucking serious,” I say in warning. I have never been jealous or territorial over a woman before and he knows this. I don't know if he is just testing how I feel about her or if he is just trying to piss me off, either way it's working.

  Summer looks up at me, with wide eyes. The only time she has heard my voice like that, is the night I kicked that guys ass for grabbing her, at the bar.

  I soften my face and lean down, to give her a gentle kiss on her lips. “Why don't you go get a glass of wine and come sit down with us? You can rest, before everyone starts getting here. I know you're tired.”

  She nods her head and glances at Nick one more time, before walking over to the outside bar, that was set up this afternoon.

  Nick and I sit back down and he looks over at me with a smirk. “You're serious about this girl,” he says, like he is just now figuring this out.

  I shoot him a look before glancing back over at Summer. “Yeah, man. I love her. She is it for me.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see him shaking his head. “I never thought I would hear you say those words. I get it though, she is fucking gorgeous. I wouldn't mind being pussy whipped, if I had a girl who looked like that.”

  I clench my jaw and look back over at him, as I lean forward in his seat. He must sense how serious I am, because his eyes widen and he holds his hands up in front of him.

  “Fuck, dude. I have never seen you like this. Give me a second to adjust.”

  I lean back in my seat and pick up my beer, taking a long drink. “It's more than her being beautiful. I am completely in love with everything about her. It's like my heart is just walking around outside my body. I can't even breathe when she isn't near me. I want to wrap her in a bubble and make sure nothing ever hurts her. I can't explain it, Nick, but the moment I met her my world turned completely upside down. I would do anything for that woman.”

  He looks at me with wide eyes. “Goddamn. You're fucked,” he whispers.

  I chuckle and take another drink of my beer. “Yeah, that about explains it. I can't wait for it to happen to you.”

  He shakes his head back and forth quickly. “Hell no. That shits sounds painful.”

  I nod my head in agreement, as I watch Summer approach us again. “But it's so worth it.”

  * * *

  The party is in full swing. I'm standing with my brother and Nick, but my eyes are on Summer. My sister, Lexie, and my mom are all standing around her and she has her head thrown back, laughing at something my mom said. She must feel me staring at her, because she looks around and her eyes instantly land on mine. She gives me a slow smile and a wink, before turning her attention back to my mom. I smile and drink the last of my beer, before setting down the empty bottle and making my way through the crowd. I have to stop and talk to several people, on my way, but my eyes never leave her.

  When I finally reach her side, I place my hand on her lower back and bend my head, whispering against her neck. “Dance with me, beautiful.”

  I watch as goose bumps move down her arm and she shivers under and my touch. She nods her head. “Excuse me ladies, while I steal my girl away for a few minutes.”

  My mom smiles at me and I give her a wink. I know she loves Summer. She keeps pestering me to bring her back over to their house, but I'm selfish and want her all to myself, for now.

  I lead her out onto the small makeshift dance floor. The D.J. is playing a slow song and I pull Summer close to me, swaying us in sync with the music. She rests her head on my shoulder and I can feel her hot breaths, against my neck.

  I kiss the top of her head, before leaning down to whisper in her ear, “Thank you for everything, sweetheart. This is the best birthday I have ever had.” She looks up at me and her eyes look watery. “Don't cry, beautiful. I wish you would tell me what's wrong,” I say, kissing the tip of her nose.

  “Nothing. I'm glad you've had a good birthday, Grant,” she whispers in response.

  I war with myself on whether or not I should make her tell me, but I know right now is not the time or place to have this talk. So instead, I lean forward and lay my lips against hers.

  “I love you so much, Summer,” I say, with conviction.

  One loan tear rolls down her cheek as she closes her eyes. “I love you too, Grant,” she responds quietly, pulling me closer to her, like she is scared if she lets me go, that I will disappear.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Summer

  IT HAS BEEN THREE DAYS, since Grant's party. I know he can feel me pulling away. I can see it in every concerned look he gives me. He stayed the night with me on Saturday and we had breakfast on Sunday, before I came to work. He has stopped by the bakery once and we have talked on the phone a few times, but that has been the extent of it. I just need him away long enough for me to deal with Ryan. If something were to happen to Grant, because of me, I would never forgive myself. I called my attorney on Monday and she said that the restraining order is still in place, but I'm not sure what a restraining order will do, in the grand scheme of things. If Ryan wants to hurt me, he will.

  My self defense class starts tonight. I'm suppose to be riding with Grant and it would be suspicious to him, if I asked to take my own car, since we are going to the same place. Not only
am I nervous about being in the car with Grant for so long, while things are awkward between us, but if Ryan is watching me, I don't want him to see us together. What a mess my life is.

  “Hey, Summer.” I jump and spin around, letting out a little scream. Jenna is standing, at the door to the kitchen, wide eyed and holding up her hands.

  “Whoa girl, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

  I press my hand to my chest and take deep breath. I am way too damn jumpy. Grant is going to take one look at me and know something is up. I need to get my shit together.

  “No, it's okay. I was just deep in thought and wasn't expecting anyone. Did you lock the door behind you?” I ask.

  I don't like leaving the door unlocked, when no one is out front. Lexie won't be here for another 30 minutes or so, it's just me and Jenna. The thought that someone could come through the door, without us knowing, scares the crap out of me.

  Jenna nods her head slowly. “Yeah,” she responds, holding up her keys.

  I take another deep breath and go back to stirring the batter. “Sorry, Jenna,” I mumble.

  She walks over and stands beside me. She looks like she wants to say something, but instead shakes her head. “What do you need me to do?” she asks quietly.

  I ask her to get started on making the the frosting and she hesitates for a second, before going to get her apron.

  We work quietly for a few minutes, before she whispers my name sounding uncertain, “Summer.”

  I look over to where she is standing and see her eyes are filled with concern, for me.

  “I know I don't know you that well, but I feel like we may have more in common than you think.”

  I look at her confused. “I don't know what you mean, Jenna.”

  She looks down and takes a deep breath, before looking back up at me. “I know we aren't close friends, Summer, and I just started working for you, but I came to Cape Isle to start over and I think you did too. I see how jumpy you are sometimes and you have this lingering sadness and fear in your eyes. I see how you are around men sometimes too. What I'm trying to say is that I can see those things, because I'm the same way. I suffered through years of abuse, at the hands of my ex-boyfriend, before my parents caught on to what was happening and saved me.”

  I gasp and cover my mouth with my hands, as tears fill my eyes. “I'm so sorry, Jenna,” I say, quietly.

  She holds up a hand to stop me from saying anymore. “I don't know if my ex will come for me. I don't know if he can even find me, but before I left home to come here, my dad taught me how to shoot a gun. When I got here I bought one. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?” My eyes go wide and I nod my head, as she continues talking. “Summer, I am not a violent person and I never will be, but my ex is much stronger than me. I heard you talking to Lexie, about starting a self defense class. I think that's a great idea. I took one too, but if you think he is going to come after you, I recommend you get a gun, because it doesn't matter how many self defense classes you take, he can and will over power you.”

  Tears are now streaming down my face. “Jenna,” I whisper.

  She walks over to me and wraps me in a hug. “I'm not trying to scare you. Please just think about it.”

  I nod my head, against her shoulder, and hug her back. “Thank you,” I say quietly, when we separate.

  She nods her head and gives my shoulder a squeeze, before going back to her frosting. I wipe the tears from my face and think about what she said. She's right. I know Ryan is looking for me and I know he is probably watching me. What am I going to do when he comes for me?

  * * *

  Grant holds the passenger side door open, waiting for me to get in. We just left the self defense class. The ride here was quiet and awkward, just how I thought it would be. I love this man, but I can't let him get hurt because of me. I know he can sense me withdrawing, but he hasn't said anything. The self defense class was informative, but I know a couple of classes won't help me, when it comes to defending myself against Ryan. Jenna's suggestion pops into my head again. I can't believe I am considering getting a gun, but I just don't know what else to do.

  I'm staring out the window, deep in thought, when Grant calls my name. “Summer, please talk to me.”

  I turn to look at him and I immediately feel guilty. He looks confused and maybe a little sad. He doesn't deserve to be caught up in my mess. He is a good man, he deserves so much more than me. I shake my head and sigh. He reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Summer, whatever is bothering you, you know can tell me right?”

  I don't know what to say. I don't want to lie to him, but I know if I tell him the truth, he will try to fix it and right now I need him away from me and safe from Ryan.

  “Grant, I can't do this,” I whisper. My eyes are burning with unshed tears.

  “Can't do what, sweetheart?” he asks, giving my hand another squeeze, but before I can answer, he shakes his head. “Let's talk about this when we get to your house. Okay?”

  I hesitantly nod my head. I know what I have to do. The only way to protect him is to get him to believe I don't want to be with him. I'm going to break his heart and mine in the process, but it's the only thing I know to do, to make sure Ryan doesn't go after him. I can only hope he will one day forgive me.

  * * *

  We walk in the front door, of my house, and Duke meets us at the door. He immediately goes to Grant and bumps his head into Grant's leg.

  “Hey, buddy. I've missed you,” Grant says, bending down to pet him.

  I feel the tears starting to build again and I know I need to get this over with. My chest hurts so damn bad. I reach my hand up and rub it, hoping I can rub the pain away, but no such luck. It's a heartache I can feel in my bones. I hate my ex-husband, for making me live through hell all of those years, but I right now I hate him even more, for taking away the only person I have ever truly loved. “Grant,” I whisper.

  He gives Duke one more pat on the head, before standing up and facing me. “Let's go sit down,” he says, while walking towards me.

  I know that if he touches me, I will change my mind. I hold up my hand and stop him from coming any closer. He tilts his head to the side and looks at me confused. It's now or never. I am going to lie to this wonderful man. I'm going to push him away and pray that nothing from my past will ever hurt him.

  “I can't do this anymore.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Grant

  IT TAKES ME A FEW minutes to understand what Summer is saying. She has been acting strange, since my birthday. I've been trying to let her figure it out on her own and not push her, but that obviously isn't working. Tonight I was going to tell her about the private investigator I hired, to find her ex. I was going to talk to her and figure out what was going through her head, but never in a million years did I think she would do, what she is doing right now.

  “What do you mean, Summer?” I ask, needing her to clarify what she is really saying.

  She looks down at the ground and wipes her tears. I want to pull her into my arms and fix whatever is wrong, but she won't let me get close enough to touch her.

  “I thought I was ready to be in a relationship, but I'm not. I'm sorry.”

  I feel my body go rock solid at her words. She's still looking down at the floor. “Look me in the eye and say that, Summer.” I demand, in a low voice.

  She looks at me briefly, before focusing on the door behind me. “I'm sorry, Grant. I thought I could do this, but I can't,” she says, in a monotone voice.

  “Bullshit,” I grunt. “I'm in love with you Summer and I know you feel the same way. I can feel it, when you touch me and I can see it in your eyes, when you look at me,” I say, trying to stay calm.

  She look surprised and her eyes widen, before she closes down and a blank expression over takes her face. “Please don't tell me how I feel. I'm just not ready for whatever this is, I thought I was, but I'm not. You should go now.”

  I stare at her in silence. I'm trying t
o understand why she's doing this. I know she feels the same way I do. I know she's lying to me, but I just can't figure out why. I also know nothing is going to be resolved tonight. She's hurting me, by saying these things, but I know they aren't true, so it's hurting me worse to know that she doesn't trust me enough to tell me what's really going on.

  “Summer, everything you just said is complete and utter bullshit. I'm going to leave, but not because I'm letting you end us. I'm going to leave, because I think you need tonight and tomorrow to get your head on straight. When I talk to you on Thursday I expect the truth,” I demand.

  I'm trying hard not to loose my patience. I'm trying to remember that the only relationship she's has been in was not healthy, but fuck, she is driving me insane. I don't want her to see me angry, so I know I need to leave.

  She is clearly stunned by my words, so I take advantage of that and walk up to her. I bend down and kiss her forehead. “I love you, with all of my heart, beautiful. Please don't break it,” I whisper against her head, as I breathe in her sweet vanilla scent.

  She closes her eyes and tears stream down her face. Even though every instinct in me is saying to pull her close to me and make her pain go away, I turn towards the door instead. She needs to think.

  “I'm so sorry, Grant,” she whimpers, as she walks towards the door.

  My eyes start to sting, as I turn to look at her one more time. “I love you, Summer.”

  I don't give her time to respond, before I'm walking down the path to my truck. I jump in and shut the door. I look up at her house and see she has already gone back inside.

  “Fuck!” I roar as I hit the steering wheel. I run my hands over my face a few times, before cranking up my truck and driving towards my house. I need a damn drink.

  * * *

  The next day finds me with a massive headache, so I decided to stay in the office. I'm bent over a pile of papers, trying to rub the pain out of my head, when my dad walks in.

  “Hey son,” he says, as he sits down.

  “Hey dad. What are you doing here?” I ask, looking up at him.