Saving Daisy

by Phil Earle

  I knew instantly what that last threat meant. She wanted to square things off with Ade and I knew I couldn’t let that happen, not with her being pregnant.

  Steadying myself against the headboard, I pushed myself upright, eyes falling on the window. It was a hideous night, the wind gusting against the house, daring anyone to step outside.

  I was about to head to the door when I spotted a figure walking on to the path. Despite the hood pulled over her head, I knew it was Ade. She turned in a tight circle, looking for someone I guessed was Naomi.

  I rattled the window, trying to open it and warn her, but it wouldn’t give. So I hammered instead, bending the plastic further than I thought was possible, but the wind just carried my warning away.

  I pulled on my trainers and jacket, turning to the window one last time to see Ade move through the gate and on to the coast road. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing where she was heading. Maybe she and Naomi had walked the cliffs as well. Maybe there was a spot where she thought Naomi might be. As long as I could get out there quickly, I knew everything would be all right.

  But it wasn’t. For as Ade disappeared from view I heard a door slam and saw two more figures hit the path, hunching together to light cigarettes. Naomi and Paddy.

  At first I thought it was a coincidence, that they were outside to let off steam, so I watched, waiting for them to finish up and step back through the door. But as they stubbed out their smokes they didn’t turn back. Instead they pulled up their hoods and followed Ade’s steps, turning left at the gate too.

  I swore, realizing that any coincidence ended there. They knew where she was heading, and my mind reeled at the thought of what they might do once they caught up with her.

  Without a second thought I stumbled from my room, leaping down the stairs … anything to get me outside quicker.

  As my hand fell on to the front door handle there was a shout behind me.

  ‘Daisy!’

  It was Bex.

  ‘Where you headed?’

  ‘For a smoke.’

  ‘Do you really need one? It’s hammering down out there.’

  ‘Depends if you want me to get lairy or not.’ I wanted to fob her off as quickly as possible.

  ‘OK, but be quick, you hear?’

  I pulled on the handle, but her voice came again.

  ‘You haven’t seen Naomi, have you?’

  ‘No. Why?’

  ‘Ade was looking for her. If you see her, can you let her know?’

  I nodded fearfully, hoping this conversation wouldn’t stop me finding Ade before Naomi did. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about.

  By the time the sea rolled into view I was soaked, my jeans clinging to my legs, slowing me to a waddle.

  I thought about my conversation with Bex and wondered why I didn’t come clean about Naomi. Was it paranoia that stopped me? Maybe it was just coincidence that Naomi had followed Ade. It was possible, but unlikely, and now with no signal on my phone there was nothing I could do to put things straight. I just needed to find Ade and quickly.

  The rain was bouncing now, ricocheting off the tarmac like bullets. It was so heavy that I had to squint to make sense of where I was.

  Fortunately, the route had become familiar and I felt my way instinctively, disappointed when, at every landmark, there was no sign of Ade. She was obviously determined to find Naomi, which meant I had no option but to follow.

  Ten minutes on and I reached the coastline, turning instinctively to the path that ran along the cliff. Head down, shielded from the rain, I wasn’t aware of what was in front of me, so when I came up against something in my way I presumed I had taken a wrong turn.

  Except I hadn’t. The thing blocking my path wasn’t a wall or a fence, but a person. A person I didn’t want to see. Patrick.

  ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa,’ he said, trying to smile. ‘Where are you off to?’

  I peered around his bulk to see what he was hiding, but there was only more rain.

  ‘Nowhere,’ I lied, hoping he’d believe me. ‘Trying to blow off some steam after Ade’s news. You?’

  My question stumped him and he shifted from foot to foot, bumbling something about being upset himself. I stared at him, trying to guilt him into telling the truth.

  There was no chance. Instead he stood still, every inch of him blocking me.

  ‘Right,’ I murmured, a hint of desperation creeping in, ‘I’ll catch you later.’ I tried to scoot around him unsuccessfully, his chest bumping up against mine.

  ‘You don’t want to go down there,’ he gabbled.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Just been down meself and turned back. The wind’s whipping up something savage. Girl as light as you? It’ll have you over the edge.’

  I smiled thinly. ‘I’m sure I’ll be all right. I had a big tea,’ and tried again to sidestep him.

  This time an arm stopped me, threatening to remove my head from my shoulders.

  ‘Did you not hear what I said? You don’t want to be down there right now.’

  I squared up to him, a horrible mismatch.

  ‘I appreciate your worry, Paddy, I really do. But it’s a bit late for the big brother act, isn’t it? Let me past, will you?’

  It was a mistake to try and wrong-foot him, an even bigger one to try and push him in the process, as all he did was step forward and wrap his arms around me, lifting and crushing in a single movement.

  ‘You never listen, do you, you silly cow,’ he moaned. ‘Well, this time you’re going to have to. I know why you want to be down there, but you’re going to have to wait. Naomi and Ade need to talk. There’s stuff to be said, so you can stay here until they’re done, got it?’

  His arms tightened around my chest as he walked me backwards. His face was in mine, his breath rank, a mixture of cheap booze and cigarette smoke.

  I peered over his shoulder but there was nothing to see, and no way out of his grip. I struggled, looking for somewhere to bite him, but every inch seemed to be covered in waterproof coat.

  He marched me away from the coast, leaving me out of ideas, but then something weird happened. The ground seemed to twist on its axis, like some kind of tremor had hit, and before I knew it, both Paddy and me were lying on our sides. The only difference between us was that my eyes were open, while his were firmly shut.

  A shadow loomed above and I raised my hands instinctively, fearful of the new danger. Two long arms reached down: bare arms without any sleeves or jacket covering them.

  The massive hands held me firmly, setting me back on my feet, and fearfully I peered beyond the arms to their features, coming into focus.

  I half screamed in fear and delight as Jimmy’s face pressed up against mine.

  ‘Daisy? You all right?’

  I nodded, scraping my hair back. ‘Where the hell did you come from?’

  ‘I saw you all heading out the gates and didn’t like the look of it. Thought you might need the help.’

  I threw myself around him, squeezing hard, as I looked down on Paddy.

  ‘Is he going to be all right?’

  ‘Oh aye. I only gave him a tickle.’ He grinned. ‘But I don’t think he’ll be too chuffed when he wakes up.’

  ‘I need to find Ade,’ I shouted against the rain. ‘Have you seen her?’

  He shook his head. ‘I followed you out the gates. Guess she must be further along the path.’

  ‘Can you keep an eye on Paddy –’ I gestured – ‘in case he wakes up? I don’t want him chasing me.’

  ‘No worries. Just be careful of Naomi, will you? She’s off her head, that one.’

  I nodded before stumbling onwards, remembering that the others had said exactly the same about him.

  The wind was raging now, throwing the storm on top of me. It was so disorientating, I kept as much distance from edge of the cliff as possible. The rain played tricks, shape
s rearing out of the darkness, but each time I thought I’d found them it was just a rock or a tree stump. It took a good five minutes of further stumbling until I finally saw something that set my heart pounding. Two shapes, but this time they were moving too much to be branches.

  One of them was pacing forward, forcing the other back. Was Naomi going for Ade? All I could think about was the baby.

  Naomi wouldn’t hurt her, would she? I knew she was pissed off, but surely she wouldn’t …

  It wasn’t easy sprinting into the wind, especially with the track boggy underfoot, but I had to try, and within a minute I’d closed the gap to about forty metres.

  At this point I slowed, shuffling into a line of trees on the edge of the path. I picked my way around the roots, not daring to take my eyes away from the situation ahead.

  The figures were clearer now and I could see that one of them had something in her hand. I strained into the darkness, hoping it wasn’t what I thought it was.

  A knife.

  There was no mistaking it, despite the darkness, and I knew it had to be in Naomi’s hand. But the weird thing was, she wasn’t pointing it at Ade. Instead the blade pointed back towards herself, towards one of her own arms.

  I stumbled on, maintaining cover, straining to hear their conversation. Fortunately, the wind carried their words towards me.

  ‘Is this what I have to do to get your attention?’ Naomi screamed, sliding the blade closer to her wrist. ‘Cos I’ll do it if I have to.’

  Ade looked horrified, hands raised in submission as she fairy-stepped forward.

  ‘Of course it’s not. Just give me the knife so we can put things straight.’

  ‘I’ve wanted to talk to you for months, but you haven’t had the time for me. Not since that cow arrived. I mean, what’s so friggin’ special about her anyway? She’s a cutter, so what? So am I? What did I do wrong?’

  ‘You haven’t done anything wrong. I care for Daisy like I care for you. If you were feeling left out you should have told me, or Bex, or anyone. No one wanted this!’

  ‘Yes, you did. You’ve wanted rid of me for ages, same as Mum did. Daisy arriving just gave you the excuse to push me.’

  ‘That’s not true!’ Ade shouted. I’d never heard her voice as desperate as this. ‘We’d do anything to make you happy, to help you take steps forward.’

  ‘Then prove it,’ Naomi cried through huge racking sobs.

  ‘What do you want me to do?’

  ‘Keep working with me. Daisy doesn’t need you any more. They’ll ship her on any day, but I still need you. See me once a week or something. I’ll do the stuff you’ve done with her, I’ll do whatever you say.’

  It would have been simpler for Ade to agree with her. To say whatever she had to say to get the knife out of Naomi’s hand and the pair of them off the cliff.

  But that wasn’t Ade’s way. Instead she shook her head and told her that she couldn’t do it.

  ‘Why not?’ Naomi screamed, on the verge of a tantrum. ‘Why not me? Why choose her?’

  ‘I haven’t chosen anyone.’ Ade’s voice was calm again.

  ‘Liar!’

  ‘It’s the truth.’

  ‘You’re a friggin’ liar!’ Naomi roared, taking a step forward.

  And with that step everything changed, because the knife was no longer facing towards herself. Now it was pointing straight at Ade, at her belly.

  They paced towards the cliff edge, like some kind of sick dance, Naomi leading with every step. Maybe the rain was blinding her, maybe she didn’t realize how close they were to the edge, but Ade knew, as she tried to spin away and bring them back from the sea. Fear seemed to cover her entire body, her legs buckling, reducing her to all fours before she could regain her balance.

  ‘Tell me the truth,’ Naomi roared. ‘Tell me why you chose her instead of me.’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Tell me!’

  ‘There’s nothing to tell.’

  ‘You’re just like the others. Like all the others before you.’ The devil was in her now, possessing her every expression, every word. ‘In fact, you’re worse, because they never promised me nothing. But you? You told me everything was going to be all right. You promised.’

  ‘Naomi, you are scaring me now. Whatever I have done to let you down I am sorry, but there are people you can talk to, people other than me who will understand.’

  Her response cut through the wind and was so emphatic that I knew I had to do something.

  ‘NO!’ she bellowed. ‘NO MORE PEOPLE. I can’t do this any more. In fact, I should’ve done this a long time ago. Maybe then people would have taken me seriously.’

  We moved in tandem. Me powering forward as Naomi’s arm arced upwards. Me diving forward as her elbow whipped straight.

  I saw Ade flinch, her feet perilously close to the edge.

  I don’t think she saw me, though, until it was too late, until my body passed between hers and Naomi’s.

  Naomi saw me, but only once the blade had sunk its teeth in. I saw her eyes widen, her mouth open and her hand release the knife, leaving it to dangle from my arm.

  It didn’t hurt as it entered. Instead I smiled, relief flooding in as the blood flooded out. I’d never moved so fast, or imagined that I could actually get there in time, but I’d done it, I’d done it, I’d done it.

  It didn’t matter that my balance left me, or that the ground was wet through my clothes. Instead I saw the camera spin above me, swirling among the rain, giving me the moment I’d talked about earlier in the evening.

  It was odd, seeing myself in my own movie, but it felt good too, like I’d done the right thing, and I smiled as Ade propped my head in her hands.

  The smile didn’t leave my face. Even when the shadows swept in, taking the rain – and everything else – away.

  Chapter 52

  My eyes opened to strip lighting, nausea and a strong sense of déjà vu.

  There was only one place that smelt as unhealthy as this and it was hospital – not a place I remembered with any kind of warmth.

  Without looking I knew the layout of the room: the iron bed, cheap wooden dresser to its left, semi-comfortable PVC armchair to its right.

  My stomach lurched as I remembered Hobson sitting there during my last stay and as the fug cleared from my head I became aware of a presence again, could hear gentle snoring rolling off the walls.

  I dared myself to see who was there, only for a lightning bolt of pain to stop me, causing my stomach to flip.

  The pain was white hot, screaming from the very top of my left arm, just before the shoulder joint. Gingerly, I lifted the gown to find a swathe of padding, its centre point dyed a ruddy red. I peeled away the tape that held it down, ignoring the nagging of my skin, and surveyed the damage.

  It was a cut all right, not the long shallow ones I’d inflicted on myself but a short, ragged gouge, as if the knife had gritted its teeth to bury its way in. The knives in the kitchen at Bellfield always were on the blunt side.

  The other difference was that I didn’t feel ashamed of this scar. There was a story behind this one with a bit more dignity. Maybe in time it would be one to show off instead of hide away. Well, maybe.

  Any further inspection was cut short by a stirring beside me, a hand resting gently on my arm.

  ‘Well, well. You are finally awake, Daisy Houghton.’

  The warmth of the palm was enough to tell me it was Ade and I forced my upper body to turn forty-five degrees, swallowing the bile that rose in my throat.

  Was she OK? Had I done enough? What about the baby, how would I know?

  My eyes sped to her belly and the other hand resting gently upon it. Her body shook with a low chuckle that set me at ease immediately.

  ‘It’s OK,’ Ade sang. ‘Naomi didn’t quite reach her target. Something else got in the way.’

  My head fell
back on to the pillow as the room tilted slightly. I felt a tear of relief as well as pain roll off my cheek, only to be caught by Ade. Her fingers soothed my face as she wriggled closer.

  ‘I was right all along, wasn’t I?’ she asked. ‘My lucky, lucky charm.’

  I said nothing, just closed my eyes and let myself fall back into a dreamless state.

  The doziness lingered for a while, though not as long as the nausea, which threatened each time I dared to change position. The other constant in the room was Ade, who seemed to be in the same place each time I woke. The only thing changing were the clothes she wore.

  ‘Maybe I should try and stay awake for more than ten minutes,’ I suggested.

  ‘Or maybe you should listen to your body until it’s ready. I don’t have anything in my diary now for, ooh, six months. Until then, I’m welded to this chair. In fact, they might have to cut me out of it to deliver this baby.’

  Laughing wasn’t a good idea. It stretched the stitches, but the giggle felt good all the same and I made a mental note to try it again soon. It had been too long.

  I knew as well that there were other things to ask about. What had happened to Naomi? Had Jimmy managed to keep a lid on Patrick when he’d woken up? But whenever Ade saw these questions forming in my mouth, she told me not to rush. So I listened, swallowing down each thought that came, even the biggest of them all: ‘What happens to me now?’

  But the questions didn’t go away, no matter how I tried to dismiss them. Would I return to Bellfield? What did that mean for Naomi? They wouldn’t put us under the same roof again, would they? If not, then it had to mean a foster family, but was I normal enough to fit in? Would anyone dare take a chance on me?

  These questions dogged my waking moments, to such an extent that I almost hugged Evelyn when she finally made an appearance.

  ‘Well, you have been in the wars, haven’t you?’ she tutted, shuffling the papers that fell out of my now full file.

  Attempting a smile at Ade, she perched on the edge of the bed and paused to find the right words.

  ‘It’s been so pleasing … surprising, to hear of your progress from Adebayo here.’