‘Anyhow, I expect you’ll be able to sort it before May without too much trouble?’
What’s happening in May?
Enough eavesdropping. Time for me to go out and tell her that I’ve done the deed. That’ll cheer Hollie up. With these latest test kits (she’s got three in the bathroom) she won’t have to wait too long to find out if it’s worked, either.
‘I’m so glad you agreed to do this, dear.’ That’s Beatrice’s soft voice now. ‘Flo would have been delighted to know you’re renewing one of the old Florence Cottage traditions. The garden parties she used to hold here every year were one of the highlights of our calendar.’
I hold my breath for a minute so I can hear a little better. What are this lot up to?
‘The Bishop of Rochester has agreed to open it for us,’ Beatrice’s saying proudly. ‘And the mayor’s put it in his diary too. It’s going to be quite a charity event. For the rainforest people of the Amazon, you say?’
Oh no; the penny drops. They’re trying to raise funds, aren’t they? For me. I feel a lump in my throat and sink down off my tiptoes where I’ve been standing so uncomfortably in order to hear what they’ve been saying a little better.
A charity event. Oh Hol. That’s so thoughtful of you. But the amount of money you’d raise by doing this is titchy compared to the amount that’s in my mind.
I flop down onto the bed. I just wish she hadn’t gone quite so far with it before telling me what she was planning, that’s all. Everybody’s going to all this trouble and yet…it won’t even begin to be enough. I lean over and pick up Hollie’s ‘delivery system’ syringe and throw it in the bin in the corner.
I suppose now I’m going to have to make damn sure I am pregnant before I tell her about my plans for the cottage. Just to make sure she doesn’t have any qualms about agreeing with me…
Scarlett
Dear Scarlett,
Just thought you might like to see your favourite little guy again as you’ve been away for a while now…
Eve’s letter contains a photograph – a 5x8 of José. I grin, noticing he’s got a missing front tooth. He’s solemnly holding up a brace of Paiche with his good hand. He’ll have just speared those out of the river. He’s standing by a rock pool, half in the shade. A smile spreads right through me at the sight of him. It’s a nice picture.
Behind him a stream of pure gold sunlight pours down through a gap in the canopy. A profusion of bromeliads and dense green ferns jostle in the foreground, the colours so crystal clear I can almost hear the tinkle of water running at his feet; I can almost smell it. And those fish: the flesh all pink and fat, the scales on their heads shining like silver pennies where the light catches them. The tribe will have cooked those over an open wood fire later on that evening and everyone will have had a share in them.
His eyes look strangely dull though. He looks less than happy.
The kettle clicks off and I fill up the pot, leaving it to brew while I carry Eve’s letter through to the better light in the lounge. She continues:
…I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your family.
The not-so-good news at our end is that we’ve had to move base camp. A whole load of rumours were circulating that gold had been discovered nearby and we had a lot of people coming in and sniffing around the camp, causing us a lot of trouble. They even started a fire which meant we were forced to evacuate camp and leave virtually everything behind. Sleeping bags, personal effects, our food stores and cooking equipment. All our clothes. It all went up so fast I don’t know if they even had time to steal whatever they were after before everything was lost. We all ran out with nothing but the clothes on our back, but maybe the worst loss of all was the seeds which we had managed to collect…
No way. A huge black cloud descends on me as I read that. All my work, all the backbreaking labour, for the past God knows how many months. I flip the paper out sharply in front of me, as if I could shake off the words. Not my seeds!
I get up abruptly, pacing the lounge. I need to get onto the net and book my flight out of here right now. I need to be back there. I’ve got to go and get back to work to make up for all that’s been lost…but I can’t, I remember. My visa has run out and I can’t go back till I get all the sponsorship papers signed. Oh, if only I’d gone up to London to see Professor Klausmann that day when I intended to…
… And I am afraid to tell you that even Mesopotamia is now completely vanished. The gold prospectors brought machines and hollowed it all out before a government agency that we called in managed to stop them going further. We must be grateful for small mercies, I suppose…
It can’t be gone.
I sit down on the settee again with a bump, my legs gone all wobbly. Mesopotamia gone – and in such a short time? That’s the place where I harvested all those seeds the day of the howler monkey, the day Eve called me to tell me I had to come back home. I found dozens of my most precious samples in that area alone. I don’t know where else I can find them. I don’t know if I’ll ever find them again.
Oh, God, this can’t be happening. I’ve only been away a few weeks…
‘Are you all right, darling?’ When Rich appears, all sleepy and rumpled and wearing nothing but his PJ bottoms, he could be an apparition from another planet.
‘I didn’t hear you come down,’ I croak. I put the letter down on the coffee table, my hands trembling so hard he must notice.
‘I just opened the garden door for Monsieur here. He’s already been out once this morning but he’s having a few problems at the moment…’Rich sits down beside me and Ruff flops down at his heels. ‘You aren’t all right, are you?’
I’m OK, I think. I’m over here, aren’t I? It’s the ones who I left behind who aren’t OK. My people, my friends, my José…
‘I’ve just had this note from Eve this morning,’ I put the letter in his lap. ‘It’s becoming a total disaster zone out there, Rich. PlanetLove have just had to move base camp. I’ve lost all the seeds I’ve collected since last June…’
‘Ouch.’ He skims through it, spending more time on the picture of José than anything else.
‘They really matter to you, don’t they?’ he says softly. ‘You’re not just worried about what’s happening to the forest. It’s the people.’
‘Rich, you have no idea…’ I wipe away the tears that have sprung into my eyes.
‘Hey.’ He puts his arm about my shoulders. ‘I know. You told us. Your second family, right?’
‘I can’t explain it properly,’ I tell him feelingly, ‘but when I’m with them, I feel more at home than when I’m at home. I feel…I feel really loved.’
He’s stroking the hair at the back of my head, his fingers soothing everything away, making everything all right. Are we alone, I wonder? I want to talk to Rich, really talk to him in a way I just can’t do with Hollie because she gets too emotional. The truth is, I can’t see me raising those funds that Eve wants, not unless I can persuade these two to sell up here. I want to run that idea past him. See how he reacts first, see if I can get him on side with it. After all, he dropped that hint not long after I got here about how he’d like to move to Italy.
‘You’re loved here too, don’t forget.’
I look up at him gratefully, my face shining. ‘Oh, Hollie loves me in a sisterly way, of course. She loves me in a…’ I search for the right word ‘…a dutiful way. What I mean is…’I rush on as his eyes widen ‘…there’s still a part of her that hasn’t forgotten, that hasn’t let go of…’ Does he see it? Can I speak of this with him or will he stonewall me? When it comes to Hol, Rich has a particularly wide blind spot. I sense I might be treading on thin ice here.
‘It isn’t your fault that your sister can’t have babies,’ he says after a while. ‘And she does love you. More than dutifully. Very much.’
‘Of course she’s loved!’ My sister comes in carrying a tray of tea and toast. She and Rich exchange a glance. Why did she have to walk in just now, I think irrita
bly.
‘Everything OK?’ She puts the breakfast things down and goes over and murmurs something to her husband. He half-turns to look at me, smiling, gives me the thumbs-up and then kisses Hollie.
I look away. Can’t they see it makes me cringe? After a moment Rich gets up and leaves the room and Hollie turns to me to pour out some tea.
‘I do hope, darling, that you aren’t having any regrets?’ she puts in tentatively.
‘Where did Rich just go?’
‘Well, it’s obvious that we two need a little bit of “girl time”. You’re feeling hormonal and…well, that’s just natural under the circumstances. Men don’t really understand these things…Would you like a bit of toast?’
Girl time? I let out a controlled breath. I don’t want any more time with her. We’re in each other’s company enough as it is right now. And I’m not bloody hormonal. I shake my head.
‘Are you sure? You’ve got to keep your strength up. You can’t afford to skip breakfast, especially if you’re planning on…’
‘No. No toast, Hollie.’ My sister fades into silence as I cut over her. ‘I’m not hormonal. I’m…I’m gutted, ‘I tell her through gritted teeth, ‘because I’ve just heard that the whole outfit I left behind in Brazil five weeks ago appears to be collapsing behind me.’
‘Oh.’ She looks mildly startled. ‘I’m so sorry, darling. If there’s anything we can do…Look, regarding the sponsorship money – we could really ramp up the idea of the open garden party we’ve been planning and rope in everyone we can think of to donate cakes and crafts and maybe even hold a little antiques stall. We could ask BBC South East to come along and advertise what we’re doing and…’ She stops, sensing that I’m not impressed.
‘None of that is going to cut it, Hol.’ I pour out some of the tea she’s just brought through to soothe my aching throat. I want to cry.
But I’m not going to. The only thing that’s going to do any good is if PlanetLove can buy that bit of land. Once it’s officially ours then nobody will be able to get on it who shouldn’t be there. I look at Hollie. I’m out of time. I didn’t want to broach the subject of the house with her before I knew I was pregnant, but what the hell…she’s got to know sometime.
‘Hol…’
‘Yes?’ She freezes, toast in midair on the way to her mouth.
‘I appreciate what you’re trying to do. Really. It just…isn’t going to be enough, nor fast enough. I need to get my hands on those funds quickly. And there is only one course of action I can think of to do that. Trouble is, you aren’t going to like it one little bit.’
Hollie
‘My mission – you know I need to make a lot of money, very fast, right?’
I nod dumbly.
‘Well.’ She takes in a breath, then comes out with it. ‘I need us to sell Florence Cottage. And I need to take my half of the money out – as soon as possible.’
I don’t answer her for a minute, she’s totally thrown me.
‘Your half?’ I manage at last.
‘Well, yes. I figure there’s two ways you could do this,’ Scarlett runs on. ‘Either we sell up and split the money and you and Rich go and live in his Bluebell Hill property or else you sell Bluebell Hill and buy me out so you can stay here. Either way, I’ve got to get my hands on my share of the inheritance. Quickly.’ She picks up a piece of her toast, seemingly feeling better now she’s got that off her chest.
‘Lettie.’ I turn to look at her, confused. She’s never mentioned anything like this to me before. ‘I can’t do that. I’m sorry.’
‘I know it isn’t what you want to do, sis. I know you love this place to bits. You buy out my half, why don’t you, then you can stay?’
I’m still finding it hard to grasp where she’s going with this. Surely she can’t imagine I’m going to sell up Auntie Flo’s beloved family home just to get some money to buy a bit of the Amazon?
‘You’re making too many assumptions, Scarlett,’ I tell her slowly. ‘You haven’t thought this through. And you haven’t taken us into account, either. For starters, Richard’s flat doesn’t just belong to Richard, remember – his grandparents left it to him and Jay. I doubt Jay would agree to sell up in this depressed market and even if he did it would take ages and besides…’
‘Besides?’ She looks at me challengingly.
‘Look, the fact is, Florence Cottage wasn’t left to you, Scarlett. Flo bequeathed it in my name alone. You don’t have any half to sell.’
I didn’t want to break it to her like this. I’ve known it for years, and admittedly I’ve never fully understood it myself. Why Florence named me as the sole beneficiary of her estate. Me and Rich were always going to be fair to Scarlett, though. We’d never turn her away if she needed a home and we’d always have helped her financially in whatever way we could when the time came for her to get her own place.
‘What are you saying, Hollie?’ Her face contorts in pained anger now. ‘Flo would never have done that to me – just cut me out of her will. Why would she? And…and why for God’s sake have you never said anything about it before?’
‘Scarlett, I’m so sorry,’ I appeal to her now. ‘I guess the issue of selling the place has never cropped up. Remember that you were just a kid when Flo passed away – I guess that’s why she left it in my name…’
‘If you think that’s really the case,’ her voice catches in her throat though she’s trying not to show how hurt she feels, ‘then you shouldn’t deny me my portion of it now. I’m not a kid any more. I’m an adult, and I know what I want to do with my life.’
‘Lettie,’ I stammer, ‘you have to understand something. Flo never intended that this place should pass out of the family. Whoever’s name it’s in is irrelevant really.’
‘Who are you kidding, Hol? We weren’t her family, were we? She might have treated us like family but we never were. She took us on after our mother abandoned us to go off saving the bloody world on her mission to conserve all the vanishing seeds…’ She trails off because, after all, this is exactly what she’s supposed to be doing in Brazil right now.
‘Anyway,’ she storms as I decline to answer her last point, ‘I am planning on selling up so whose name the cottage is in becomes very relevant indeed. I’m not asking for this for myself, Hollie. I’m doing this for my other family. I have to. It’s the whole reason why I came back here in the first place. If I’m being one hundred per cent honest,’ she pauses for a mere fraction before plunging on, ‘it’s even a large part of the reason why I agreed to help you.’
‘Oh.’ I put my hand to my throat.
‘I thought if I got pregnant that you’d want to move,’ she’s crying. ‘And then I’d get my share of the money, don’t you see?’
Confused thoughts whirl through my head. Half of me is secretly pleased Scarlett had an ulterior motive for helping us – it quells the guilt I’ve been feeling ever since I asked her. The other half is appalled.
‘I wish I could help you, honestly I do. But I can’t sell up, Lettie. I swore to Auntie Flo that I’d never let it pass out of our hands. I promised her…’
‘You promised her!’ She looks at me in disbelief now. ‘Maybe that’s why she left it all to you?’
‘No! She didn’t. She left it to me because she knew I’d respect the heritage behind it. Don’t you see – she wanted it to be our home. She never intended for either of us to come into any money by it. Her wishes were that if either of us decided that we didn’t want to live here any more then it would automatically pass into National Trust hands.’
‘No.’ She looks at me in disbelief. ‘So this place is really nothing more than an albatross around our necks? How could you have known this all this time and never said anything to me?’
‘I don’t believe it’s ever been an albatross, Lettie, and it’s never been a potential pot of gold for us either. It’s our home. Mine and Richard’s…’ I look at her remorsefully. ‘I’m sorry I can’t help you out with the money thing…’
‘A promise, yes, but one that I intend to keep. I won’t betray Flo’s trust, Scarlett. I just won’t.’
‘She’s dead, though. Whatever promise you made to her – it doesn’t matter any more. There are other things that matter more. You must see that.’
‘Lettie…’
‘All this…all this heritage stuff,’ she indicates the whole of our sitting room now with a dismissive sweep of her hand. ‘It’s all just bricks and mortar and ancient history. But people matter more. Living people, Hollie! You of all people should understand that. You want a child, don’t you? That matters to you more than this mouldy old cottage, wouldn’t you say?’
‘Yes.’ I can scarcely draw a breath.
‘Well – that’s good then,’ Scarlett tells me. ‘Because you know what matters most then. For me, my tribespeople matter more than this cottage. The rest is simple, wouldn’t you say?’
‘We don’t even know if you’re pregnant yet,’ I remind her faintly.
‘We’ll know soon enough. And after that?’ My sister scrutinises me carefully for a few moments before she turns away, but I don’t answer her.
As for what happens after, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Hollie
Inside Number Five the Esplanade, I head straight up to my office, unwinding my scarf from about my neck as I go. I stand at the top of the wide stairs thoughtfully and blow my nose. It’s very quiet up here today. The pale light coming through the stained-glass windows at the bend of the stairwell is yellowed and closed in. It makes me feel like turning on every light in every room and I can already tell from the silence there won’t be anybody in any of them. The way I’m feeling today, that’s probably just as well.
A Sister’s Gift Page 12