Release Candidate

by Aziz, M.

  ‘Oh.’ Dong-yul stopped. ‘Don’t think because she looks like a harmless little girl that she is.’

  ‘I won’t even look at her funny. I’ll catch ya after my brekkie tomorrow, then?’

  ‘Unless it’s my ass that’s on the frying pan.’ replied Goyo as he walked. ‘Fuck, man. We’re all one body but if we feel you’re gonna sink us the rope goes bye bye! Got that? Can’t let gangrene set.’

  ‘Hey, no wax in my ears!’

  ‘Glad to hear it. Watch your back now.’

  The door closed.

  ‘How the hell are you here?’ asked Chan-sook. ‘Look at you!’

  ‘It’s best you postpone the interview. I haven’t been all myself lately, so if I start doing druggy speak just walk away.’

  ‘Whatever makes you feel comfortable...’

  ‘Why’s your brother cooped up here, like, what’s up?’

  ‘...You get a bad knock on the head?’

  ‘Look, I’m just not in the mood to read you the latest bits of my diary.’

  ‘His face will give it away. He has other physical issues. But he’s not low-functioning.’

  ‘Must be a drag.’

  ‘That he’s not a retard?’

  ‘You got me wro...’

  Chan-sook cupped her mouth and laughed. ‘Relax! No need to take that seriously. I don’t need to guess where he is.’

  She led him out and around the hut. They walked through the navy door of a brick building. Laminated dark mahogany flooring in a dimly lit hallway mirrored a horror movie scene. Their feet squeaked and echoed. Doors to their right leaked light and undecipherable banter.

  From one came a high-pitched scream.

  Tomás stopped.

  Chan-sook met his eyes. ‘Annie. Nothing unusual.’

  Tomás gulped and continued walking. Chan-sook stopped before a door with windows covered by paper on the other side.

  The cramped library was packed with worn-spine titles on metal shelving arranged in a basic maze formation. Tomás closed the door behind him.

  Turning, he saw Chan-sook approach a brunette at the desk. Chan-sook mouthed her brother’s name and got a hand gesturing north-west.

  Tomás walked a few steps behind Chan-sook.

  On the western turn, sitting on a light blue leather chair, was an olive-skinned man in his mid-twenties. He had a slightly pronounced nose, mouth and eyes. A thick tome engrossed him.

  ‘Bookworm!’ she hugged him.

  Wide-eyed, Gi placed the volume on his knee. He looked up.

  ‘Man, that’s a lot of tree in your hands.’ said Tomás.

  ‘Lots of ink for big wordss too.’

  Tomás studied Gi’s ambiguous expression.

  ‘They call me... Fuck it. Just pretend I’m like a teacher.’ Tomás laughed.

  Chan-sook’s eyes became poised to burst. Tomás shrugged.

  ‘This place not keeping you in tears, is it, Gi?’ he added.

  ‘You’re not dressssed like a teacher. Your face... I know another one like it. But lesss ugly.’

  ‘How can you bring that out of your mouth, Gi?’ asked Chan-sook.

  Tomás laughed. ‘Don’t snap at him. Nah, I don’t see the fun in walking around rooms nodding or shaking your head at people at tables. I’m here ‘cause I got something more ugly than my mug to deal with.’

  ‘I can keep my lips sealed.’ Gi sat up straight.

  ‘Let’s just say my brain’s not big enough for me and...Well, me!’

  ‘Then thiss isn’t the place for you ssir.’

  Tomás turned red.

  ‘Gi, no need to be picky.’ said Chan-sook.

  ‘Jusst came out my mouth. You didn’t come in just to ssee me, did you? You musst share my passion? Fiction isn’t for me, though. I pick sstuff by authors with extra letters around their name.’

  ‘Mmm. I just like stuff I can wipe my butt with. A shot at having your own desk at a hospital must turn you on?’

  Gi laughed. ‘A heart patient would jusst look at someone like me and run. No, I’m jusst interested in making sure there’s no big bearded man sitting ssomewhere above us. Each sentence I read makess the Bible seem weaker.’

  ‘So what’s the main thing that hammers the nail in that book?’

  ‘Your ears aren’t going to forgive you for asking.’ sighed Chan-shook.

  ‘You don’t need extra letterss around your name to get it. Some people here only open their mouthss to breathe or eat, not much else going on in their heads. Then there are those who only understand pictures in books; and not just in this place.

  ‘The religionss people follow, mosst have a place on a shelf. Now, which animals have library cards? Which book has a heroic spastic? Or maybe Jesus wass like you, voices. And people’s hours are shrinking more and more, no time to think.

  ‘If a big bearded man iss for real, couldn’t he jusst wind forward his watch and see cinema screenss rule more for messages? Popcorn and picturess get to most people’s heads. And he could come out from behind the cloudss. If he’s no sstory I bet he qualifies for here to learn to keep his head up... You know who else wants the crowds to follow them? Rock sstars. And they’re alwayss going into rehab.’

  ‘That’s pretty heavy, man. I guess also if the science nerds can stop us from going to our graves, the big man up there would have to try his luck at a job centre. If there is a big man, that is.’

  ‘Undertakers aren’t ever going to lose their jobss.’

  ‘You got a crystal ball or something?’

  ‘You ever think you’ll ssee a fallen leaf get back on a tree? Crumb-a-ling away is just how it iss.’

  ‘Yeah, but, like, the soul...’

  ‘Goes like the leaf. Nothing glowss in you. It’s just things in your sskull. I’m guessing you’ve never come across one of these glowing thingss, right?’

  ‘...Only on a TV screen.’

  ‘Gi, I think you should get back to your book.’

  Tomás followed Chan-sook out.

  ‘Mainstream nursery to him was like toddling into a forest of stinging nettles. Kids brainwashed about reincarnation treated him like some mass murderer. A child’s mind is like dough, you know? Easy to mould. So, soon came the churchgoing and questions about a stupid made-up profile of God.’

  ‘Proves all the runts ain’t cherubs. Gi doesn’t seem that fucked up really but aren’t your hands full with him alone? Don’t get me wrong now but this place ain’t exactly a holiday resort.’

  ‘Like a soldier I’d just be sad where I can’t be of use. Read my face, I mean it. There are some hard times but I’m not alone here. Of course it’s not always a walk in the park, more staff wouldn’t go amiss, but we’re not so exhausted with what we do here.’

  ‘All the same, I’m not that keen on sharing my oxygen space. Is it like battery hen or free range for your inmates here?’

  ‘Don’t use that word again! These people are not inmates. And yeah, you can rot in a corner! More non-battery rooms are being built but we can put you some place fine temporarily, your highness.’

  ‘How about wiggling your ass over to there, then, so I can follow it?’

  ‘I should be expecting to see your face on the headlines, shouldn’t I? Some Harley Street doctor’s done a real budget job on your features. Lack of sunlight has messed your head up. The words you use to describe people here now...’

  ‘Looks like I shouldn’t bother tiring my tongue out.’ he fake-smiled.

  Chan-sook shook her head and squeaked down the hallway.

  When Tomás caught up with her he saw a room filled with a dozen white-backed felt chairs. Oily grey spots on the seats suggested a dysentery outbreak.

  ‘I don’t expect you to get cramped on a chair all night. I’ll drag in something for you later.’

  Tomás ran a hand across his scalp. ‘When the canteen rush starts just shove a tray through the door, please. All other times just act like this room’s haunted. I don’t want you having to break out a first aid
box for anyone.’

  ‘Well, I won’t be balling my eyes out in the hallway over you. But I want you out when all these seats need to be in use here.’

  ‘Just knock nicely first.’

  ‘Okay. No need for me to be stealing your oxygen right now, then. You know where the hut is, feel free. When the instruments and things are packed away I’m on my own in there.’

  Tomás nodded. Chan-sook shut the door behind her.

  Settling on a chair squelching against his back, he moved his eyes around the room. Tears soon welled.

  The following morning Tomás allowed himself to eat cereal beside Gi in the canteen.

  Gi’s eyes turned glassy. His breath whirred like a struggling fan.

  Tomás stopped chewing as Gi hurriedly pulled a brown plastic stick from his top pyjama pocket. He put it to his lips, rubbed it three times then removed it. A few seconds later Gi’s eyelids relaxed.

  ‘I don’t have to read your last rites, do I?’

  ‘This sstick relaxes my lungs more times than I’d like. All it’s gonna take for me to not open my eyes again is for thiss to be empty or not on me. I don’t toss and turn over it, though. I could be crossssing a road when there’s a bus with sscrewed breaks. Then if some big white staircase up comess before me I’ll have a bone to pick with Jesus’s dad.’

  Tomás crunched another spoonful. ‘Running from the big sleep ain’t a winning game, is it?’

  ‘Sseeing how far you go before you trip up is the only way to play. You only sstart primary schooling once, you usually only get pulled out of your home into a care service once, and you only get covered with dirt for good once. As sure as gravity’ss not leaving our planet.’

  Tomás slammed his spoon into the bowl and walked out.

  Tomás spent the rest of the day lounging. The gang arrived early that evening. Dong-yul knocked on the staff room and entered.

  ‘Not busting your back on that thing are you, pal? The stubble you’re growing is sharpening up that dainty little face.’

  ‘I’d dangle your bro’s head over a toilet bowl if I cottoned he had a fucking clue about things he blabbed to me.’

  Dong-yul smirked. ‘He’s made my hands itch too. Anyway, get off your butt and come and earn some blessings. Catch.’ he threw Gary’s revolver at him. ‘Genius boy Goyo here’s made it so it’s fuckin’ buy one get one free on goodies. Well, not goodies as such, but you won’t be able to resist your gift!’

  ‘You munched on some funny mushrooms on the way here?’

  ‘Cut the lip and move. Unless someone has slipped me some fungi, I’ve noticed an odd number of pink snouts swaying from their doughnut breaks.’

  ‘Your door been kicked in yet?’

  ‘The smell of stale pussy you brought to us has got a while to travel before it gets to them.’

  Tomás got up. He tucked the gun between his trouser elastic and hip.

  As they walked out Chan-sook approached them. She wrapped her arms around Tomás’s back.

  ‘You forgot to put your contact lenses on or something?’ he brushed her off.

  ‘Dong-yul made me swear not to... It sounds like something from a movie... You just flush out whatever they did to you!’

  ‘Can’t say I’m not trying.’ he scratched around his scalp scab.

  ‘You bolt the door, sis.’ said Dong-yul.

  Once all car doors had shut Tomás opened his mouth.

  Dong-yul raised a finger before a syllable could be uttered. ‘Pal, she’s not shared a pillow with you in ages, alright? Hey Trev, this thing ain’t movin’ by itself!’

  Purple-pink sky trickled across their hood as the building conveyor-belted into the distance.

  Upon reaching their destination they stayed in the car.

  ‘This good deed,’ asked Tomás, ‘it’s about sitting here like fucking nuns, is it?’

  ‘Just lower your head, brother, and wait for a pair of ducks to turn up.’

  ‘Ah, Duck Shoot. That’s no shit antique video game.’ said Gary. ‘My Gramps has it on his...’

  ‘Gary.’ interrupted Trevor. ‘We’re all dying not to hear any more. Pascual, I mean, whoever, you don’t want your eye to be straying from that spot beside the letterbox. That’s where some lead has to fall. And I’m sure it will.’

  ‘You wanna fill me in on this whole hit?’

  ‘Eyes for eyes.’ replied Trevor.

  Ten minutes passed. The red letterbox remained unaccompanied.

  Tomás felt breath in his ear.

  ‘I’m gonna pull your lungs out, faggot.’ he said.

  He recoiled as Goyo’s warm breath continued jetting into his canal followed by laughter. Tomás stuck a finger up at him then returned to watching outside. Close footsteps made them dunk their heads in unison. They eased up and saw three can-carrying teenagers stumbling along like marionettes.

  ‘Agh, fuckers takin’ their time in the little ladies room or what?’ asked Gary. ‘D’ya fink that bloody snitch has turned on us?’

  ‘Shsh, listen to that...’ replied Goyo.

  They sunk into their seats. Tomás lifted his head a notch. Horace was beside the letterbox, hands in pockets.

  Before Tomás could open the door Rob held him back.

  ‘Now’s not the time to go for a coffee, brother.’ he whispered. ‘Hold that jizz in your dick. I know you’re gagging to nail this mofo.’

  ‘How did you sort this shit?’

  ‘Talk at the gents club didn’t slip my mind.’ replied Dong-yul. ‘Damn useful knowing a grass, buffers you from nasty surprises. My guy’s good at matchmaking those who wanna get fucked out of their minds with those who’ll oblige ‘em.’

  ‘Why you so into spilling his blood?’

  ‘Couldn’t give two shits, pal. A stinking fly like that sooner or later gets stuck in a web anyway. Just treat tonight as an early Christmas. Pull hard on that cracker! Then see if that same old surprise unlocks your head... Shit, dartboard two!’

  A tall, skinny Italian man locked eyes with Horace from a metre away. The two gravitated towards each other while looking around them.

  Tomás, shaking, pointed his gun at the window. Goyo pulled his from a pocket and aligned it beside Tomás’s.

  ‘Pal, stop waving that thing like a fucking flag. You matched all six balls on the lottery, so pop the cork properly!’

  Tomás’s hand still shivered. His fingerprinted view scrolled to clarity. An electric hum attracted his preys’ attention.

  ‘Shiagh!’ screamed the Italian.

  A deafening bang erupted beside Tomás. His ears whined. The Italian fell, clutching at his chest. Another bang caked his neck red. Horace’s eyes bulged at the car then at his motionless partner. He bolted around the bend.

  ‘Ya hand cramp up or somefin’, Ped?’ shouted Gary.

  Trevor thumbed the ignition. The tyres screeched in pursuit.

  ‘Pull that fucking finger or you’re gonna miss out!’ shouted Goyo.

  Horace glanced back. ‘You cunts ain’t havin’ me!’

  The car’s speed dial needle hit far right. Horace wheezed right beside them. Tomás shut his eyes.

  Bang.

  Some leaves ruffled.

  Horace made primal yelps and continued running.

  ‘There’s not just one bullet in there!’ shouted Trevor. ‘Send him to his maker.’

  Before Horace could pull something from his back pocket another shot echoed.

  The yelping stopped.

  The street was silent. A few neighbourhood lights lit up.

  Horace’s body smacked against the pavement.

  ‘Alright, dude!’ said Gary. ‘Square in medallion centrol. ‘e def ain’t gettin’ up from ‘at sleepin’ pill.’

  Tomás grunted aloud. ‘Fuck!’

  Hands patted his back at varying velocities.

  ‘Wait... This shit ain’t what I’m about, man. Fuck... I can’t seem to get my woman out from my brain!’ a teardrop smacked his cheek.

  A close
siren wailed. Trevor cut the next corner.

  ‘You’re being a pussy now!’ said Goyo. ‘We’ll trail these dicks. They’re gonna kill their engines and go sniff that fresh pile of dog shit. Pigs couldn’t even catch a cold if you sneezed right in their faces. They’re all too busy slapping on lipstick in their rear-view. But you’re the man again now!’

  ‘Hit the brakes!’ shouted Tomás.

  ‘Get a grip on yourself.’ replied Trevor.

  Tomás aimed at the windscreen. He pulled the trigger. Shards spilled onto the road and dashboard. Trevor stomped hard. Tomás reached forward to open the door. He waved his gun behind him.

  ‘You guys just gonna sit around and wait to get busted?’ asked Tomás.

  ‘I’ll give you busted!’ shouted Goyo. He reached for his pocket.

  ‘I’d rethink that.’ Tomás stepped out backwards. ‘Mind your drive ahead. I’m a big boy now.’

  The siren was seconds from bathing them blue.

  ‘Pal’s head definitely ain’t nothing but mush now! Guy must be missing the sight of bars. Trevor, let’s not hang about for a go light!’ he shut the door hard.

  The car sped into blackness. Tomás ran across pavement and climbed into a large blue rectangle bin. The siren drew close then faded.

  Tomás panted heavily. Tears spider-legged his cheeks. Surrounding him were packing boxes, aluminium cans and supermarket bags filled with paper.

  He raised the bin lid and peered around. A few moments later he spilled out and ran. A left turn sucked him into the night.

  14

  Come morning Tomás entered a phone booth. The touch screen interface was cracked and covered with illegible marker scribble. He lifted the handset and smiled upon hearing a continuous beep. Shoving a hand in his pockets produced no chinking. He tapped “Charge receiver” followed by a number.

  No person or vehicle could be seen through the booth glass. A series of rings sandwiched a service message.

  Tomás’s breath distorted on the receiver.

  The line crackled.

  ‘If this for faster broadband I say no twice today!’

  Tomás exhaled exaggeratively.

  ‘...No... No, I going crazy!’

  ‘Mm. I usually get on the phone quick when I’m gonna miss tea, don’t I?’