A Lil' Less Hopeless

by Tara Oakes

He looks relieved. “Good. Come with me, we’re leaving.”

  Cautiously, I move to follow him. Chris steps in front of me, blocking my path. Bernie takes notice and eyes him curiously.

  “Lil’s, I really am just trying to help you before this all blows up. Please think about this. Take my number and please... do not hesitate to call me.” Chris pleads.

  Instinctively, I turn to Bernie for silent instruction. He nods. I take Chris’s card and follow Bernie into the hall, leaving agent Pretty Boy to linger behind.

  “Wait!” I stop short and turn on my heel. “Where’s Jessica?”

  Chris rolls his eyes. “Your friend with the razor sharp tongue?” He smirks. “We released her right after she threatened to call the ACLU, Fox News, her father’s attorney, her uncle, the State Senator...” He was counting down on his fingers, going through Jess’s oral threats. “And... she told me just what she thought of me. But... I actually kind of enjoyed that part. Added a little excitement to my day.”

  Yep. That sounded like Jess. The girl could make you cry with her verbal assaults, if she really put half an effort in. I can only imagine the things she must have said to him. Good. He deserved it. Phony.

  Bernie reaches out and gently takes hold of my elbow, leading me away.

  I take a deep breath, exhaling my relief to be leaving this place. I know it could have gone differently. I know I could have easily been walking the opposite way, away from the exit instead and back toward the cells. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

  ******

  Jess is seated in an industrial-style molded plastic chair, waiting for us as we come through the main doors. At the sight of me, she leaps up, rushing forward.

  “Thank God!”

  We hug, comforting each other from our shared experience. Despite my family ties and hot temper, I’ve never so much as seen an interrogation room except on TV. Given Jess’s upstanding breeding, I’m guessing she hasn’t either.

  “That jerk Gibson promised me he was going to let you go, but it’s been almost an hour! I was getting so worried!” She was patting and smoothing my hair. Attempting to make me look presentable. “It’s OK, though. I got his badge number.”

  I try not to laugh, but the thought of what Jess could do, is just too overwhelming. God help Pretty Boy... he has no idea what is coming his way.

  The room is full, with plenty of people waiting about. Most look nervous, anxious, tired. Understandably so. This place is horrible. I’ve managed to sort through the groups of people, but there’s no sign of Jay anywhere. Or anyone else that I know, for that matter. What?

  “Where is everybody?” I ask Bernie.

  He places one hand on each of our backs, and steers Jess and me through the sterile looking lobby of the Chisolm Police department, and out into the night air.

  “Jay had some pretty important things to put in place when he found out you were here. He’ll be busy a little while longer but will meet the two of you at home. This young lady’s car...” he nods to Jessica, “has already been delivered back to Jay’s house. I’ll give you two a lift home.”

  What could be so damn important that he wouldn’t even come to get me? Do you know how many times I’ve been there for my pop, Tiny, Jay... any of them that have ever gotten into trouble? The one time I get into a legal jam and they’re nowhere to be found! I can’t help but feel hurt, alone, angry.

  “Oh, before I forget... this belongs to you, young lady.” Bernie hands me a plastic baggie containing my cell phone. It had been taken from me before I was taken back for questioning. Apparently, electronic devices are frowned upon in a controlled environment like an FBI inquisition.

  Ever the gentleman, Bernie opens the rear car door for us and I follow Jessica in. Powering up my phone, the screen instantly lights up with a tally of all of the messages. I thumb my way through them, scrolling down until I reach the one I am looking for.

  JAY: I SENT BERNIE

  HE’LL GET YOU HOME ASAP

  DON’T WORRY.... I’VE GOT A PLAN

  I LOVE YOU

  ******

  JAY

  The most important people in Lil’s life, hell in my life, are around this table. Butch, Tiny, Pops and Ma. We’ve just spent the last hour or so going over all the details. Pops is holding on to my ma, stoically supporting her as she gazes blankly at nothing in particular. Butch lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag. Tiny just watches. My oldest, truest friend in the world watches and holds back his words. He knows the kind of man I am. He knows none of his words can change my mind. All of the people around this table know that.

  I’ve done worse things than most people, when I’ve needed too. What I’m about to do, though... I need all of the people here to be behind me. I can’t do it without them.

  CHAPTER SIX

  I reach out and pull her closer. She’s only inches away... but it’s not close enough. Her bare shoulder is exposed, calling to me. There’s not much light trickling in through the windows, but I can see the tiny little bumps forming on that soft skin as I breathe onto it.

  She stirs slightly, deep in her dream state but wanting to leave it, to come to me. I know I’ve got to help her break from her sleep and join me in the here and now. I slide my hand down the curve of her hip, dragging the sheet down with it, while I kiss that shoulder deep using my heat to soothe the prickled gooseflesh.

  Her luscious hip gives way to her thigh, and my fingers continue to work their way, edging closer to the moment when she wakes. My fingers disappear into her hot crevice and coat themselves. Oh she was dreaming alright. Fuck me. It’s time to make those dreams come true.

  I nip her shoulder and pull on it to roll her over, adjusting my body to rest hovering over her. I feel her hips instinctively raise themselves slightly to meet me. Using my knee I pry my way to where she needs me, where I need to be.

  The scorching warmth escapes and greets me as I slide myself slowly, deeply into it. Her sleeping eyes flutter and a hiss breaks free from her pink lips. I settle myself at the hilt, closing my eyes as the enormity of the sensation penetrates through the thin encasement of my dick. Sleeping next to Lil’s every night, next to her gorgeous body leaves me with raging morning wood. I know I’ve got to mentally calm myself or I’m gonna finish this before my baby girl even finishes waking up.

  I even out my breathing, concentrating on the steady rhythm. She stirs below me and I feel her moistness clamp down on me. I part her soft lips and move my tongue in, devouring her deep moans. It takes a moment, but once my thrusting begins, she responds to my pumping, my pushing.

  “Good mornin’, baby girl.” I greet her. Her nails sketch imaginary lines into my back as she moves them effortlessly over the bulges.

  “Mmm.... yes, yes it is,” she answers me in words and then throws her hips up suddenly, answering my body. Lil’s doesn’t usually sleep in much clothing... there’s never much to peel off her, but it’s always an extra treat when there’s nothing at all. I had exhausted her last night when I got home, using my body to apologize to her for not being there, leaving Bernie to bring her home instead. But I managed to get home just minutes after, having disbanded the impromptu family board meeting at the clubhouse.

  I had explained to Lil’s that it was all taken care of, there was nothing left to worry about. It was true... I hadn’t lied to her, given her false comfort. It will be all right. She doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of it, though.

  “Opppp...” I hear her call out through clenched teeth, the impact of my body chopping her words.

  I brush my lips over her ear, the dampening skin sticking to my own. “What, baby?”

  She gulps hard, preparing herself for the methodic impact our bodies are giving to each other.

  “Top! Put me on top.”

  I hold tight while I twist us around, granting her wish.

  She leans back, elongating herself, her tits practically pointing up. I can’t control myself. I reach up and grab hold of both of them, thumbin
g the nipples to hardened peaks. Her hips twirl round and round, grinding herself deep, sating herself. Kneading them no longer appeases me, I need to taste them.

  I pull her down to me, drawing her pink round tip into my mouth, and I suck hard. She calls out, and throws her hands up to brace onto the headboard. Her loud moaning and groaning encourages me. I slap my hand down onto her ass cheek, grabbing the flesh between my splayed fingers. The circling of her hips increases speed and her panting matches the quickening movements.

  Just when I think she can’t move any faster, she screams out and clenches hard enough on the wood headboard to indent it. Nothing turns me on more than watching my girl get off. I grab her hips and pull down hard, meeting my deep thrust, bringing me to my own release. She collapses down on top of me, and I hold tight while waiting for my body to calm.

  Her aftershocks quake around my cock, drawing out and extending my own spasms.

  “That was goddamned incredible, Lil’s.”

  She tilts her head up and eyes me coyly. “I hope it makes up for missing your bachelor party ‘cause your fiancé got pinched by the feds.”

  Laughter vibrates through us. We spoke at length, reliving every single detail of last night’s ordeal, the moment I had gotten home. There was no need to let it fuck anything else up.

  I play mindlessly with the plumpness of her bottom. “I didn’t miss much. I managed to get a good deal in before having to arrange to spring you out of the slammer.”

  Lil’s playfully smacks my arm and latches on to my lip, her teeth holding me hostage. “Asshole,” she teases.

  I throw her down on the mattress under me, as I spin to cover her with my upper body. I pin her arms up, holding them at bay, above her head. “Where did you say you wanted it?” I bait her.

  Her eyes grow wide and her cheeks blush a deep shade of berry. She can barely speak coherently, her laughter breaking up her words. “I did not! Jasper, don’t you dare!”

  ******

  Special Agent Christopher Gibson. I tap the edge of the small card I hold in my hands against the wooden bureau. Very few things in this life have the ability to surprise me. Slap me silly and call me shocked... this is one of them. We’ve been searching high and low for the motherfucker. This explains why nothing turned up. While we were looking for a roughneck biker, the real Pretty Boy, a tie-wearing, bitch with a badge, was hiding out behind the scenes.

  It’s safe to say we can scratch him off the short list of murder suspects. Lil’s had always been adamant that she didn’t think he did it, but I couldn’t help but hold out hope that at the very least he knew who did. That’s why we’ve been searching high and low for him.

  If special agent Christopher Gibson knew who shot Shade, there’s no way an arrest would not have been made by now. Which is good and bad. It’s good that Lil’s hasn’t been officially charged, although all signs point to an inevitable arrest at some point unless something drastic happens. Now that we can quit searching for Pretty Boy, we can focus all of our energy on Vicky. Leo’s already shifted his search.

  “Babe! You gotta go! Quit stalling!”

  I close my eyes and shake my head, this woman is going to drive me insane today. I’ve heard the term bridezilla before, and had no doubt that women like Jessica gave real credence to it. But my girl.. she was a different breed. At least I thought so, until today. The wedding is still almost ten hours away. Everything’s already been taken care of, but Lil’s is starting to freak.

  Dressed in nothing more than a satin robe, with her hair piled high in a giant knot on her head, she marches into the bedroom.

  “I mean it Jay! You need to go, like now! It’s bad enough you stayed here last night and are even seeing me before the wedding. But you need to leave before people start getting here.”

  She positions herself behind me, placing her palms on my back, pushing hard on my leather. I play along and allow her to essentially kick me out of my own house.

  “I thought it was only bad luck if I see you in your dress?” I ask while being escorted to the front door.

  Jess stands in the kitchen entryway leaning up against the door frame, clutching her coffee mug like it was a lifeline. It had been a really late night, last night, with the impromptu rehearsal dinner at the my parents’ house. Jess isn’t used to this type of lifestyle and I can tell it’s wearing on her.

  “He’s got a point, Lil’s,” Jess calls out, pitying me, but is quickly quieted by some sort of death stare from the sexy banshee in white behind me.

  I give up the ruse and quickly turn, proving Lil’s strength futile against my own.

  “Alright, alright. I’ll go. But you know you’re secretly glad I didn’t leave.” I scoop her into my arms and quickly squash her wily protests. “Admit it that you really wanted me to stay last night and I’ll go. Admit that it was worth it.”

  She playfully throws invisible dagger at me with her eyes. Finally exhaling and relaxing her shoulders in defeat, she concedes. “Fine. I’m glad you didn’t crash at the clubhouse last night.”

  I arch my eyebrow, cocking my head. “And...?” I squeeze her just a bit tighter.

  I can see her clenching her teeth. She reluctantly speaks through them. “And it was worth it. NOW GO!”

  I grab one last kiss before she has the reaction time to swat me away, and head out the door. I throw my shades on and climb on my bike. Damn right it was worth it. The ten shades of red that Jess’s cheeks were when I ran into her this morning while grabbing some coffee told me that Lil’s and I were just as loud as I thought we were. I’m gonna have to remember to send a prospect over to patch the wall behind the headboard.

  Fuck tradition. No way in hell was I gonna willingly give up any time with Lil’s. We may not have that much left.

  *****

  LIL’S

  Relax. People get married every damn day. This is nothing new. I just need to relax and it will all be OK.

  Sunny sticks another pin in my hair, smiling down at me as she works her magic. I smile back. That’s what I’m supposed to do today, right. Smile. Play it off like I don’t have a care in the world. Like everything is all rainbows and kitty cats.

  Jean comes swooping in with a makeup brush of some sorts, and I flinch. I’m not used to this much primping and pampering, and I feel like I’ve been assaulted with every type of beautification tool imaginable.

  “Just a little bit of sealer...” Ma explains as she swipes the sticky brush over my pout. “And... done.” She steps back to admire her handiwork. “Beautiful. Simply stunning.”

  There is a chorus of agreement behind her. Jessica, Charlie, and Bobby nod and coo in unison, all in various states of dress. I smile again. Just keep smiling. They all accept my show of thanks and scurry off to finish dolling themselves up. Sunny puts one last heavy dose of hairspray over the curled masterpiece and readjusts my veil.

  I feel the fine lace brush over my neck and instantly notice my skin freeze over. A frigid sensation creeps over me as the beginning of a sweat breaks out across my flesh. I grab out and hold on to the breakfast nook beside me and close my eyes, fixing all my collective efforts on settling myself.

  “She doesn’t look so good,” I hear as a distant echo, breaking through the darkness I’m fighting against.

  Almost immediately, I feel currents of air break against my skin, with a crumpling sound accompanying each breeze. I feel a warm hand close around my own and pry the stiff fingers open to settle around a heavy smooth glass.

  “Here, drink this Lil’s. You need some sugar.” Charlie instructs me, as she guides the small glass to my quivering lips. I take a small, cautious sip. The tart sweetness of the orange juice instantly explodes across my tongue. I swallow gulp after gulp until I’ve no liquid left to take.

  I carefully open my eyes, not wanting to chance the physical relief that’s beginning to pour over me. Bobby continues to fan me with a glossy magazine as everyone else watches, frozen. Waiting to react to the slightest sign of a swoon. />
  “I’m... it’s alright, I think. Just a little morning sickness.” I smile. Just keep smiling.

  They disperse, back to their tasks. Charlie, the only one that is completely dressed, lingers behind. “You felling better then?”

  “Sure..” I lie. “It happens all the time.” I lie again.

  She nods, while observing me. “You know, Lil’s... I’ve never seen a happy couple before. I mean, a truly happy couple before, two people who are better together than not. I didn’t think it existed. I see that with you and Jay.” She shyly looks down. “I want to thank you for showing that to me.”

  I put my hand on hers. “I tried to live without him. It wasn’t a life I would ever have been able to be happy with. So... I guess he’s stuck with me.”

  We both laugh, lightening the weight of the last few minutes.

  “You know...” I add. “Clink’s not too shabby himself.”

  Her eyes look sad for a moment. Barely a moment, but then instantly hidden. “He’s not too shabby himself.” She grins and then helps me stand. “All right, single lady. Let’s go get you dressed and hitched!”

  ******

  I’ve only felt truly beautiful a handful of times. When I looked at myself in the full-length mirror, with Jean standing behind me smoothing out my veil and shifting the thin fabric over my shoulders, I couldn’t help but flashback to the night of my prom. I felt beautiful then, too.

  “It’s like this dress was meant for you, baby girl.” Jean tears up. “I just... you’re literally glowing.”

  I turn and give her a hug. “Aw, ma... it’s the hormones.” I explain into her shoulder.

  She moves to hold me at bay, searching to meet my eyes with her own. “No. It’s love. It makes you more beautiful than you can even imagine.” She kisses my cheek.

  “I have something for you.”

  Reaching around me to the small satchel on the dresser, she fumbles inside until she removes a small velvet box. She presents the box to me, opening the hinged lid as she moves near. “Something old...”