'Til Death Do Us Part

by Ruby Christine

  Okay enough. Would I ever really be okay? Would anything ever really be okay again? I was already labeled a killer. Sure, it was temporary insanity, but prison was already on my record. What kind of job could I get?

  Calm down, Becca, you’ll be okay. Mick is gone, you’re free. You can do it.

  * * * * * *

  I wanted to live in another town, so they sent me to a little town in the outskirts of San Antonio called LaVernia.

  When the cab pulled up to an old doublewide trailer, I didn’t know what I was getting into. A couple of women were sitting on the front porch, smoking cigarettes and talking.

  “You must be Becca.” An elderly lady, probably around sixty, rose off her chair and extended her hand to me.

  I gently shook it. “Yes, ma’am, I’m Becca King. I’m looking for Daisy.”

  “Well, young lady, I would be Daisy, and this is Angie. Angie, could you show Becca her room while I get all her paperwork in order?”

  Angie looked old. Not old from age, but from life. Her face had pits in it, and her eyes had large bags underneath them. She must have been a looker years before, with a girlish figure and small, perky breasts. She wore her long brown hair in a simple ponytail.

  Daisy was one of those country women. She had the Texas accent, used ‘Ya’ll’ a lot and wore jeans with men’s shirts. Her white hair was cut short around her pudgy face. Her eyes were the greenest I’d ever seen, and they warmed my soul from the start. I felt safe with Daisy, something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

  My room was small. It held a twin bed, a dresser and a desk by the window. Nothing fancy, but it was mine. The walls were painted white, and a picture hung on the wall in front of my bed of an old shack on a country road filled with bluebonnets. On the side wall, there was a full length mirror.

  I sat down, removed my shoes and look a deep breath. What was I going to do now? It seemed that all my adult life I had someone telling me what to do, where to go, how to get there, what to do when I got there. What did I want to do? The dreams I held as a young girl were long taken from my soul and replaced with a bitterness that raged inside me for so long. While the rage was now gone, a loneliness crept over me. Maybe Mick had been right. Who could ever love me?

  I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. I’d lost a little weight in prison. I would always be big-boned. I was a big woman; it was nothing to be ashamed of. I just wished I was different.

  My hair had a tint of gray in it. My face was pale from being behind prison walls. Even my eyes looked black.

  I was a sight from hell, but then again, it’s where I’d been for a long time, and it was up to me to either piss or get off the pot. Meaning I could live the rest of my life saying ‘poor poor me’, or do something with myself and for once, be happy.

  I chose to be happy.

  * * * * * *

  There were four of us that lived with Daisy. Angie was thirty-two and out of prison for the second time. It seemed that Angie liked meth. She was an ex-stripper with three kids that lived with her parents. The next time would be her last time.

  Frankie was a young black woman from San Antonio. She was very sweet, and it was hard to believe that she had been in the joint for armed robbery. But like she told me, when you have four starving children and nobody will help, you will do just about anything to feed them babies.

  Nina was a loose cannon. She was always cussing and talking about how everyone owed her something. Frankie told me that Nina was in for prostitution. It seems her daddy sold her to his friends as a young girl, and the career just stuck. I felt sorry for her, but Nina didn’t want any friends, so I stayed away.

  It was not bad living with Daisy. She was an awesome cook. She made the best Texas-fried meals covered with homemade gravy, and fresh bread. We all took turns doing chores around the house and even in the barn.

  Daisy had a small farm of animals on her three-acre property. I learned to milk a cow, collect eggs, feed pigs and even how to clean chicken coops. I didn’t mind it at all; I found it rather soothing to be around the animals. Soon I traded jobs with the other girls, so all my time was spent out in the barns.

  My favorite animal was Duke. Duke was a retired German shepherd from a K-9 Unit in San Antonio. He had a sweet nature to him, and I just loved him.

  I’d been sitting on the front porch with Duke when a black Ford truck pulled up. Duke ran from my side and jumped up at the door of the truck, barking. “Duke, get down right now.”

  He wouldn’t listen to me. I got louder. “Duke, get down.”

  Daisy came running out with flour on her face and hands. “What in tarnation is wrong?”

  I pointed to the truck. “Duke won’t let that person out.”

  She giggled. “Oh, honey, that person is probably on his cell phone and Duke just wants his attention.”

  Daisy went back inside, rambling on about her bread burning. The truck door opened and a tall, well-built man got out, petting Duke.

  I couldn’t move. I’d honestly never in my life seen a man as good-looking as this one was. I know you hear that all the time and think how cheesy it sounds, but he was perfect.

  His hair was black and his eyes green; he had a broad chest and a farmer’s tan. His jeans were snug but not tight, and his shirt was unbuttoned just enough for me to see curly black chest hair.

  As he got closer, my heart sank. Attached to his belt was a badge.

  “Good morning, you must be Becca.” His smile was breathtaking. He had perfect teeth. Why was I thinking of his teeth? Oh, he was so handsome.

  “Yes, I’m Becca, and you are, officer?”

  “I’m Tex.”

  “Tex? Your name is Tex, or is that your nickname?”

  “No, my name is Tex. My mother loves Texas and she thought it would be cute to name me Tex.”

  What was I thinking? That was so rude of me to ask him that. “I’m sorry, that was really none of my business. So what did I do now?”

  He bit his bottom lip. It was actually very sexy. “Have you done anything I should worry about?”

  “Tex Bradley Drake, you leave that girl alone right now.”

  We both turned to see Daisy coming out of the house with her arms extended.

  Tex wrapped his large arms around her. “But, Mom, I didn’t do anything.”

  She playfully hit him in the belly. “Now, Becca, don’t let him flash that badge around at you.”

  Oh, great, he was Daisy’s son. No wonder Duke liked him so much.

  “Becca, this is my baby boy, Tex.”

  He blushed, and I thought it was the cutest thing I’d ever seen, a grown man blushing at his gloating mother.

  “Are you hungry, baby?”

  He rubbed his belly. “I’m always hungry, Mother.”

  She took his arm and they walked back towards the house. I stood there gawking like a sex-crazed teenager. Tex was definitely someone I would like to get to know.

  * * * * * *

  One good thing about having a bunch of women living together was the gossip.

  Angie said that Tex had never been married and didn’t have any children. He was very protective of his mother and came out at least once a week, sometimes more. He didn’t have a girlfriend because nobody would put up with his job. He’d been working with the K-9 unit for ten years. Duke started out with him, but had to retire after he got shot in the shoulder and almost died. Tex had a new dog named Boz.

  Tex liked country music and Miller Lite longnecks, he didn’t like girls that smoked, he liked redheads, he didn’t like fake tits and he had a bubble butt. He was his mama’s baby, and she adored him. He did have an older brother named Tommy, but Tommy died in the line of duty.

  Tex was very anti-drugs and overall, he was a nice guy.

  I was curious about him. Okay, I was very curious about him. I found myself thinking of him all week. I couldn’t wait for him to come back and see his mama. I tried to make idle conversation with Daisy about him, but she didn’t take my
bait. For him being her baby, she sure didn’t talk much about him.

  I started counseling. It wasn’t bad. I found myself telling Mr. Davis things I didn’t even remember happening. Isn’t it funny how one day you don’t remember a damned thing, then it all comes flooding back?

  So I had posttraumatic stress disorder. I looked up the meaning in the dictionary and it just said ‘an extremely traumatic event that involves injury, or threat to a child.’ I laughed all the way back to the house on that one. Nothing had happened to me as a child. Well, nothing I could remember.

  I grew up in a small Texas town. Mom worked in a little juke joint, and she was always on one side of the bar, either drinking or serving beer. My dad lived in another state, and I never saw him much. Mom hated him, and Dad didn’t care too much for her either. I spent a lot of time alone, a lot of time staring at walls and making up an imaginary world where I was happy, skinny, rich and everybody loved me.

  Boy, was I pathetic.

  Mr. Davis started telling me bad things that happened to me as a child made out my future. It made no sense to me. But maybe that was why I was going to see him. I even started talking about Tex. Afterwards I was scared he would tell Daisy, but he promised me anything I said to him was confidential. I didn’t leave feeling too trusting, but I had to start somewhere.

  * * * * * *

  I was out by the barn playing ball with Duke when Tex showed up again. He was in uniform this time.

  He got out of his patrol truck and went inside. I heard some arguing inside, then he came out with Nina in cuffs.

  I quickly walked over to the group. Nina was cussing at Daisy, “You old bitch, I didn’t steal from you.”

  Tex opened the back door. “Get in.”

  Nina kicked at him. “I didn’t steal any fucking money from your mommy, you dumbass hick.”

  He shoved her in and shut the door behind him. He was pissed, I could sense it. “Mom, when are you going to learn? Once a convict, always a convict?”

  Ouch, that hurt. He might as well have slapped me across the face.

  Frankie turned and walked inside, slamming the door behind her. I followed her, my heart feeling as if it had been crushed. I stood at the door, watching Daisy and Tex. Maybe Angie was wrong...maybe Tex wasn’t such a nice guy.

  Hey, I sure knew how to pick them.

  Chapter Four

  My sessions with Mr. Davis were going great. It was hard and there were times I would leave in tears, but the pain that I had was disappearing little by little. Working in the yard was therapy for me, too. Daisy taught me to prune bushes, gather vegetables from the garden and listen to nature talking to me. Poor Duke always got to listen to me talk. He would lie next to me as I sat in the garden talking, complaining or just bitching. He was truly my only friend. He would arch those ears up, and it actually seemed as if he was taking in everything I said.

  * * * * * *

  I’d been with Daisy a month when a new girl came, a young blonde fresh out of prison for drugs and prostitution. I didn’t like her; she was loud, rude and vulgar. After having to hear for the umpteenth time about her blowing guards, I left the table in a huff.

  Outside Duke followed me. I sat down on a bench near the garden. Duke came up with his tennis ball in his mouth.

  “No, Duke, I don’t want to play today.”

  He groaned and dropped the ball at my feet. He pushed it towards me with his nose.

  “Duke, I said no. I’m not in a good mood. You have no idea what it’s like having to live with these people sometimes. Oh, and the new slut is just disgusting. I hate her. I really hate her. She’s the type of woman that Mick was with. I knew he cheated on me, and I just thank God he didn’t bring home any diseases.”

  Duke laid his head in my lap.

  I smiled and scratched behind his ears. “I love you, Duke.”

  He began panting.

  I picked up the ball and threw it. “You’re just like a man, Duke. You come loving up on me only so I’ll play with your balls.”

  A snicker caught me off-guard, and I quickly turned to see Tex standing against a tree. “Mom said I’d find him with you.”

  He’d heard everything I’d said. Oh, God. “Yeah, I think he likes me.”

  Duke came back with the ball and immediately dropped it as he ran to Tex. He jumped up on Tex, and Tex began to play with him.

  “Why don’t you take him home with you? He adores you,” I said.

  “An officer must keep his partner with him. I have Boz now, and I’m afraid that it would only remind Duke of what he can no longer do.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  “Oh, Duke is happy here. He loves my mom, and I feel safer knowing that he will protect her. He used to not allow anyone near him.” Tex playfully pushed Duke away. “You always were a sucker for the pretty ladies, weren’t you?”

  Duke growled playfully, and Tex pushed him again. “You’ve turned into an old sap, haven’t you, boy?”

  Duke finally lay down with the ball beside him.

  “He lets me near him, ” I said.

  Tex smiled and I almost forgot what he had said about convicts, but the words still were etched in my heart.

  “I was talking about you, Becca. Mom said that you spoiled my damn dog.”

  “I haven’t done anything to him except talk to him and play ball, and sometimes I give him scraps.”

  He just sat there with a shit-eating grin on his face.

  “Okay, I spoiled him, but he deserves it. He listens to me and doesn’t charge for it.”

  Tex laughed, and I found myself laughing too. “When we used to work together, he always listened to me. It’s funny, because I swear he—”

  “Talks back?”

  “Yes, it seems like he always knows what to say, and he doesn’t even talk.”

  It was my turn to laugh. “I guess I’m not the only nut around here.”

  “You know, my mother is an excellent listener, too.”

  “Your mom doesn’t like me. I mean, she’s cordial, but she rarely talks to me.”

  “It’s because you don’t need her like the others do. She likes you, Becca. It’s just that you remind her a lot of herself when she was young.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  He stretched his legs out and removed his hat. “My mother married my father right out of high school. She was young, and so deeply in love. They married, and a year later, Tommy was born. Then three years later, I was born.

  “My dad was a real son of a bitch that loved his Jim Beam more then his family. My dad beat my mom until one day Tommy was old enough to fight back. My dad turned on Tommy and beat the hell out of him, and when I tried to help my big brother, he beat me too.

  “Mom woke us up during the night. We left on foot carrying suitcases. I remember the police stopped us, and my mom told them what happened. Can you believe they drove us back to the house and told Mom she needed to be a better wife?

  “We left a week later to live with my grandma, right here on this property. Her old shack was torn down and now Mom has a mobile home, but I remember what it was like living in fear, and so does Mom. She never remarried, never went out with another man. She was too afraid to start over. Afraid that she would get beat again. Tommy and I chose to become policemen because we swore we would never allow a woman and her kids to be treated the way we were that night. So, Becca, my mom knows what you went through.”

  “You know about Mick?”

  “Becca, anyone that comes out to this place first goes through me. I know all about him; his death, the trial, you doing time, what the lawyers did and your appeal.”

  I got up, wiping dirt from my jeans. “Well, you know what they say. Once a convict, always a convict.”

  I started to walk away, but he rose up and caught me by the elbow. “I didn’t mean that. I was angry that Nina had stolen from my mom.”

  “Yeah, well, you said it. I got to go inside and help with the dishes.”

&n
bsp; “Why do you seem so upset with me?”

  “Because I am.”

  Wiping his brow on his sleeve, he put his hat back on his head. “Becca, why? Why are you mad at my little comment?”

  “Because I liked you ‘til you said that. I found out everything I could about you, but it was all lies. You’re not a nice guy, you’re judgmental and pompous.”

  “Woo, lady, what do you mean, pompous?”

  “Nothing. I have to go.”

  He wouldn’t let me go. “You asked about me? Hot damn, Mom was right.”

  “What do you mean, your mom was right?”

  “Oh, Mom said you had the hots for me. She is always trying to get me hooked up with someone.” He began to laugh.

  It only angered me more. “Yeah, that’s really funny, isn’t it? Ha ha ha, a convict thinks you’re cute. Well, go ahead and laugh. We have no feelings, do we? We’re just pieces of shit, right?”

  He let me go. “Becca, I never said that. I’ve never judged you, but you sure in the hell have me figured out. See ya later.” He climbed in his truck and peeled out.

  Everything had happened so fast. Where had it all come from? What in the hell was I doing? I sat back down and had myself a good cry. Duke lay down in front of me, and soon his snoring had me laughing.

  “You know, a few years after I left Tex and Tommy’s father, I met a man.” Daisy appeared, sitting next to me, and I jumped. “He was a good man, someone that I loved, but I let him go, Becca, because I was more afraid of being hurt than I was in love. I don’t know what happened with you and Tex. I must admit, I did listen to your conversation. I’ve been wondering why he’s coming out more and more. Believe me, he is a loyal son, but he never came out this much. I knew you liked him, I heard you tell Duke one time in the garden. I don’t know what’s going on, and honestly, it’s none of my business. But Becca, don’t be more afraid of getting hurt than being in love. Tex is a good man, I did a good job with him.”