“I’m fine. Really. These are happy tears.”
His thumb caught a tear as it slid over her jaw. The tanned skin of his throat rippled as he swallowed. “Ivy, you know I come from a family of all women. I’ve never ever seen happy tears.”
She touched his face. “I promise, these are. I’m just feeling a little … overwhelmed and emotional. I need to have a good cry and I’ll be fine.”
Shutters descended over Rhett’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Ivy. I should have known better. You’ve been through so much. I should never have taken advantage of you.” He smoothed the curls off her forehead and pressed a kiss to her skin that didn’t feel like a kiss of affection but one of farewell. “I promise … it won’t happen again.”
“No … Rhett … don’t go.” She sat, clutching the sheet to her chest. “Just give me a moment.”
But as he dressed, his face a set and implacable mask she knew she’d lost him.
She clamped her lips closed to silence her anguish. The emotional storm she’d been waiting for would soon blow itself out. And when her meltdown ended, this conversation would be continued.
Chapter Eleven
‡
Rhett hammered a nail into the loose clapboard and narrowly missed his thumb as an outside noise caused him to whip his head around. It had been only hours since he’d held Ivy in his arms, but it felt like a lifetime. He had to get himself together before his need to see her caused bodily harm.
He clenched his teeth and readied another nail. There had been no excuse for sleeping with Ivy after her creek fall, even if the sight of her lying still in the water had caused his heartbeat to falter. Just because he thought for a split second he’d lost the woman he loved was no excuse to break his vow to never make another poor choice. He needed to protect Ivy from hurt, not increase her suffering.
He stared unseeingly at the nail before him. And he had increased her suffering. It didn’t matter how many times she explained her tears were happy ones, the green depths of her hazel eyes told him she was deeply upset. He had no right deepening the wound she’d come to Marietta to heal. She missed her grandparents and her ex-fiancé’s call would have awakened all the hurt she’d left behind in the city. He now owed it to her to give her the space and time she said she needed when she arrived to regroup. He pounded the nail into the wood. Even if with every hour that passed away from her, he slowly died inside.
A noise again sounded outside the barn door. He stopped hammering before he turned to look. But instead of seeing Ivy, he saw a muddy silver pickup. He descended the ladder.
His sister walked into the barn wearing her customary jeans, boots and navy western coat. She greeted him with a smile. “Hey, little brother.” She examined the barn, half of which now had intact walls. “You have been busy.”
“Yep.” He gave her a hug. “I want to have as much of the barn repaired as possible before the bonfire in case the weather turns bad.”
“Well, make sure you also find time to sleep. You look like you’ve been awake all night delivering a calf and you don’t have cattle.”
“Thanks.” Over Peta’s shoulder he caught a flash of Ivy’s red coat. His stomach clenched. Peta must have caught something in his expression because she too turned to look out the barn door.
When she faced him, her eyes were soft. “We need to get the Christmas trees organized.”
His gaze slid past Peta to Ivy. She carried two containers. Instead of staying inside where she was warm, she was doing a baking run.
“Rhett?”
He again focused on his sister. “Christmas trees. Right.”
“Yes, we need four.”
“Four? Why so many, we normally get one.”
She counted on her fingers. “One for Bramble Lane and Kendall wants one for the bonfire. Then one for me for Bluebell Falls and one for … Ivy. I haven’t asked her yet but Kendall says you said she loves decorations so I’m thinking she will want one.” She turned and said over her shoulder. “I’ll ask her now.”
Rhett moved to the barn door as Ivy diverted her course toward Peta. Milly sniffed Peta’s boot while Rusty continued over to the barn and came to his side. Rhett rubbed behind the dog’s ears. “I hope you’re taking good care of her for me.”
The Australian Shepherd licked his hand.
Ivy and Peta made their way toward the barn. He jammed his hands in his jeans pocket and erased all emotion from his face.
Ivy stopped before him. “Rhett.”
“Ivy.”
He should look away but all he could do was stare. Her hazel eyes were more green than brown and the skin around them puffy from crying. But she was so beautiful it took his breath away.
Peta spoke into the silence. “Ivy would love a tree and will come with us to Carson’s Christmas Tree Farm.”
His gaze swung to his sister, whose face was all innocence. “Us?”
“Yes. I can’t fit four trees in my truck.”
He frowned. He’d make a bet if anyone could his stubborn sister would.
“Peta said I could ride with her and choose the trees so if you wanted to leave later you could meet us there and bring me home?”
He swallowed. His gut said he was a fool to agree. There was something about the steadiness of Ivy’s gaze and the tilt to her chin that suggested a discussion about what they’d earlier shared in each other’s arms was very much on the table. But his need to be near her, even if just to sit in a pickup cabin and have an awkward conversation, overrode his self-preservation.
He took his hands out of his jeans pockets. “Okay. I’ll get a few more boards on the barn done while you select the trees. Text me when you are good to go.”
*
But at Carson’s Christmas Tree Farm, as Ivy slipped into the passenger seat, bringing with her the sweet scent of vanilla, Rhett knew he’d made a poor choice. From the corner of his eye he saw her slowly slide the temperamental seatbelt over her chest. His hands curled as they remembered the exact feel of the warm and soft perfection that lay beneath her thick woolen coat. He took a tight grip on the steering wheel.
It would be a long trip home. He clenched his jaw and glanced in the rear view mirror to check the two trees that lay in the back of the pickup. Peta had already left to deliver Kendall her tree. He started the engine, turned for home and searched for a neutral topic to keep their conversation on safe ground for as long as possible.
“Whatever you offered Tucker this afternoon he liked. After you left with Peta, I saw him hanging over the fence wanting more.”
“I know. Finally. I said I’d win him over and I did.”
“So, what was your secret weapon?”
Her smile widened. “Cookies.”
“You really won tough ol’ Tucker over with cookies?”
“Yes. But not with any cookies made from my grandmother’s recipe book but special horse ones made of oats, carrots and molasses.”
“So that’s what was in your second container.” He chuckled. “First my father and now Tucker. Is there anyone you can’t sway?”
The atmosphere in the truck cabin thickened.
“You.”
He ground his teeth. He’d practically opened the door to the conversation he’d been dreading.
“Ivy, don’t go there.”
“Why?”
“Because I should never have taken advantage of you and our friendship. You’re grieving and vulnerable and trusted me. By sleeping with you I’ve just added an extra complication to your life.”
“No. You haven’t.”
He glanced at her and raised his brows.
“Okay,” she said. “You have. Sleeping with you wasn’t exactly on my list of how to spend my time here but such a thing is a good complication.”
He didn’t answer. His being a ‘good complication’ was as contradictory as her describing her tears as ‘happy.’
She shifted in her seat to face him. “What happened between us wasn’t the reason I w
as … emotional this morning. I’ve bottled everything inside for so long, I had to let it all out. It’s just the timing of my meltdown wasn’t great.”
He didn’t reply, just rubbed at his chin.
“I’m all cried out now and all is good.”
He nodded without looking at her.
She briefly touched his thigh. “Rhett, why won’t you believe me when I say I’m fine and that you don’t have to worry about me being vulnerable?”
He took his time to answer. “Because I know how intense emotions can skew feelings and make you believe things that aren’t real. I was so angry and so scared I’d lose Mom after her first heart attack I convinced myself I was smitten with Payton. It took some poor choices to show me the reality was I needed security and she provided such a thing.”
“I understand what you’re saying but that’s not what is happening with me. What I feel … when I’m with you … won’t change and isn’t a reflection of my emotional state. Just like my decision to stay is both real and rational.”
His knuckles shone white on the steering wheel. “You’re staying? But I thought you weren’t looking at your list until the New Year?”
“I’m not. I don’t have to look at it to know what I want to do.”
A cold ball of unease hammered within his chest. “Ivy, please don’t make any rash decisions. You’ve worked so hard for your career. What about James’ offer?”
“What about it? It’s one of three offers I’ve received.”
“Three?”
“Yes. And one is to establish a consultancy firm wherever I want and to work from home if I choose to do so. Bozeman has an airport. I can live fulltime at Rose Crown and still fly to whatever city I need to. I then also will be on hand to oversee all the restoration work to the ranch house.”
“Ivy …” Words failed him at the sacrifice she’d be making. In a month, or six months, whenever her emotional fog lifted, she might realize that she didn’t want to be in Marietta … or with him.
“I thought you’d be pleased.” A note of hurt whispered in her voice.
He dared not look at her. Her staying was everything he’d hoped for. And suddenly his worst nightmare. Things were moving too fast. There was no chance to slow things down and protect them both.
“I am. It’s just that … I already … care too much.” His words rasped as his fears broke free. “I can’t be your rebound guy.”
“My rebound guy?” Ivy tried and failed, to keep the shock from her voice. It had never crossed her mind Rhett might think she was using him to get over James.
Rhett nodded, his jaw bunched so tight she knew she hadn’t imagined his words.
This time her hand curled round his thigh and stayed there. Beneath the denim she could feel the tension in his rigid body.
“Rhett, what I feel for you has nothing to do with my relationship with James being over.”
“Hasn’t it?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“I wish I could believe you.” He sighed. “But I can’t. I’ve seen how easy it is to fall into a rebound relationship … and the wreckage it leaves behind. When my rodeo friend’s long-term relationship ended, I cautioned Rod go slow and not jump straight back on the dating scene wagon. But he didn’t listen.”
Ivy nodded as Rhett paused.
“Rod’s next cowgirl was fun, loyal and sweet and he swore this time it was the real thing. Three months later he bailed, leaving me to pick up the pieces.” He raked a hand through his hair. “In the end, Rod admitted to only using Cindy as a substitute for the love he’d lost.”
Ivy squeezed Rhett’s leg. “I’m sorry for both Cindy and Rod, but Rhett, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m also not rushing into anything.”
A small smile played across his lips. “Ivy, we haven’t exactly known each other for a lifetime.”
“So? My grandfather proposed to my grandmother after three weeks and they lived a long and contented life together.”
Rhett’s hand covered hers on his leg. He turned her hand over and linked his fingers with hers.
“You need time. And … I need time. I need to be sure what you feel is … real.”
She pressed her lips shut. There was so much more she could say to prove what every beat of her heart told her. She loved him. But the residual effects of her morning’s meltdown lingered. Inside she could feel her emotions swell and wobble. The last thing Rhett needed was more tears and heavy emotion.
“Okay.” She lifted their clasped fingers and kissed the back of his hand. “Even though time won’t make any difference to how I feel, let’s take some time and concentrate on getting ready for the bonfire.”
Chapter Twelve
‡
“Rhett thinks he is your rebound guy? That’s dreadful.” Trinity reached over the table in the Java Cafe and squeezed Ivy’s fingers. “You were right to call an emergency lunch time meeting.”
“I know.” Ivy’s dull voice reflected her misery. “He’s worried what I feel for him isn’t real. So I wanted to pick your brains because I might be the ‘Queen of Lists’, but you are the ‘Queen of Plans.’ I need to find a way to prove my feelings are genuine.”
Trinity took a sip of hot chocolate, a faraway look in her green eyes. Ivy knew from Trinity’s wild summer camp schemes, her friend’s busy brain was in overdrive.
“Mistletoe.” She set her mug on the saucer.
“Mistletoe?”
“Yes and kissing balls. Lots of mistletoe and lots of kissing balls.”
“Where?”
“The barn. You said Rhett has put a tree in there for the bonfire?”
Ivy nodded.
“When you decorate, because I know you will, make sure there’s plenty of excuses to get up close and personal.”
“Which will help how?” Skepticism underpinned Ivy’s question. “Don’t forget he wants to slow things down plus has given me his word nothing will happen between us again.”
“Trust me.” Trinity winked at her. “Rhett’s a hot-blooded cowboy. The mistletoe plan will work.”
Trinity’s wink pushed aside Ivy’s doubts and made her smile. “Have you been holding out on me about more than who sends you those Valentine red roses every year? Why did your eyes glaze over when you said ‘hot-blooded cowboy’?”
“What you saw wasn’t eye-glazing, merely wishful thinking. Just like Rhett being right for you there has to be someone out there right for me too?”
This time Ivy leant forward in her upholstered seat to reach across the table to squeeze her oldest friend’s hand. “There will be and he will be a lucky cowboy. And when the time comes, I’ll make sure there’s plenty of mistletoe hanging around.”
“Thanks. I will probably be a hundred. So if you tie the mistletoe down low, I’ll be right.”
She laughed and released Trinity’s hand. “I can guarantee you won’t be even close to a hundred. Now we’d better get moving. I don’t want you to be late for your small client.”
Trinity came to her feet and checked her watch before tugging her stylish cropped black jacket into place. “I won’t be. We’ve still plenty of time left for retail therapy.”
Ivy tucked her arm in Trinity’s as they left the Java Cafe and stepped out onto Main Street. On her last stroll along the sidewalk it had been Rhett’s arm she’d been holding. She could only hope the Christmas Stroll wasn’t the final visit she had to Marietta with Rhett.
“Where to?” Trinity asked.
“Let’s go … right. There’s some red cowgirl boots I’d like your opinion on.”
Trinity stopped. “As in red boots from Marietta Western Wear?”
Ivy stopped too. The winter breeze carried the sweet smell of flowers from the florist store across the road. “Why?”
“Because I don’t think you will find the pair you’re after. According to Carol Bingley, Peta will be receiving red boots from Rhett this Christmas. He was seen two days ago buying a pair from Marietta Western Wear.”
<
br /> “But I was with him the night of the stroll and he bought Peta leather riding gloves.”
Trinity grinned. “Exactly. So as we know something Carol doesn’t, finally, it is obvious he bought them for you.”
“Maybe. They could also be for Payton. But how do you know all of this if you got back yesterday?”
Trinity touched her nose. “I have my sources. I also know Rhett needs to be reminded the private make-out spots are at River Bend Park and Bobcat Hill, not the Community Park.”
Ivy laughed. “Is there anything you don’t know? Maybe I should change your name to Carol?”
Trinity joined in with Ivy’s laughter but then her gaze sobered. “I have also heard Rhett is back at Big Z’s Hardware buying barn supplies and working himself ragged.”
Ivy’s own laughter ebbed. Rhett was hurting as much as she was. Trinity’s plan had to work. In the meantime, Ivy had to think of the right words to prove what she felt for him was real. Instinct told her the bonfire would be her last chance before he moved too far out of emotional reach to convince her blue-eyed cowboy he was no rebound guy.
*
From his elevated seat in the tractor cabin Rhett caught sight of Ivy’s small red city-car as she returned from Marietta. His sudden need to prepare the bonfire in the open field beside the barn had everything to do with being in the best spot to see when she returned. She’d paid a brief visit to the barn to see if Rusty could stay with Milly in her kitchen while she met Trinity. Now Rhett couldn’t concentrate until he knew she was home safe.
The tractor engine idled and snowflakes collided with the windshield but still he stared at the main Rose Crown Ranch house. The trip home from the Christmas Tree Farm couldn’t have gone more wrong than if he’d walked under the barn ladder before he’d left. He rolled his shoulders. The tension that had quietly slipped away since Ivy had arrived in Montana, dug itself into his muscles. He rubbed at his knee that had also begun to again ache.
It didn’t matter how much Ivy had said he wasn’t her rebound guy, he couldn’t banish the uncertainty she’d come to care for him to numb the pain of James’ betrayal. At least now with Ivy staying they had much needed time. Time to ease his fears and time for Ivy to be sure this is where she wanted to be. Time would either validate what she felt was real or, his gut roiled, prove they didn’t belong together.
Her Mistletoe Cowboy Page 11