A snow flurry swathed the tractor and field in white. He looked away from Ivy’s house toward the pile of branches he’d collected and placed around the dead tree. He needed to get the bonfire built and a tarpaulin over the top to keep the snow out. He drove the tractor close to the timber and used the bucket at the front of the green and yellow machine to push the wood into a neat stack. Red flashed in his side mirror. He turned to see Ivy walking into the field. She lifted a hand and waved. He returned her wave. Kissing and touching might be off limits but he could still talk to her. If he kept his hands to himself then his self-control would hold.
He killed the engine, opened the tractor cab door and descended the metal steps. As he stopped before her, he dug his fists deep into his sheepskin coat pockets to stop himself tugging her close. The longing to feel the softness of her curves against him and to tangle his fingers in her silken hair hit him like a physical blow.
“Hey,” he said, tone hoarse.
“Hey.”
“How was Trinity?”
“Good, thanks. She’s already at work and will head home next week for Christmas. She’s looking forward to the bonfire tomorrow night.”
He nodded, forcing himself to stand upright. For a dangerous second, their bodies had swayed toward each other.
“Kendall wanted me to ask you if it wasn’t too late to bake a gingerbread brownie. Apparently Henry isn’t the only person who likes such a recipe, Dad does too.”
“Not at all. I’ll make a batch when I’m baking the sugar-cookies tomorrow.” She paused. “I bought some more decorations in town if it’s okay to keep decorating the barn.”
“Knock yourself out.” He looked skyward. It was either that or stare too long into the depths of her hazel eyes. “I think we’ll be glad to have the barn to keep warm in. Cordell said he’d bring some fire pits so all the kids can toast marshmallows and make s’mores inside, out of the weather.”
“Great. It won’t only be the kids toasting marshmallows. I love s’mores.”
Her happy smile hammered his resolve to keep his distance. His hands fisted in his coat pockets. “Me too.”
She glanced toward the pile of hay stacked a short distance away.
“By the looks of how many bales you’ve brought from the barn, you’re expecting a few people.”
“A few might be an understatement. It turns out Kendall bumped into Carol Bingley at Superstitch’n’s and said everyone was welcome.”
Ivy laughed. “I’d better bake plenty of cookies. The snow’s falling again. I’ll let you finish building the bonfire.”
“Okay. Make sure you let me know if you need any help hanging decorations in the barn.” He grinned. “Remember my hidden talents? I’m a curling ribbon expert now.”
Her lips curved.
Before he could move away, her warm lips found his cold cheek. And before his arms could enfold her, she’d moved out of reach. With a final wave, she left the field.
He stood and watched her until she disappeared into the barn. A bitter wind rushed past, stripping all heat from his skin. There was no prize for staying strong and little consolation in the knowledge he was doing the right thing for the both of them by putting the brakes on their connection.
He didn’t know what felt the most empty. His arms for not holding her. Or the hole where his heart lay.
Chapter Thirteen
‡
The day of the bonfire dawned gloomy and overcast and by the late afternoon the dismal weather showed no signs of improving. As Ivy peered through her kitchen window looking for the curl of smoke from Rhett’s chimney she hoped the ominous grey clouds weren’t an omen. She wrapped her fingers around her warm coffee mug.
Tonight she had to convince Rhett her feelings for him had nothing to do with the end of her relationship with James. She couldn’t bear another day of the strain that pulsed between them let alone the wrench of seeing him and not being able to touch him. It had taken all of her willpower yesterday in the field to settle for a brush of her lips on his cheek.
Mistletoe had worked its magic once before and she could only hope it would do so again. She needed to say the three words she prayed would make him believe her feelings were genuine. And until then she hoped the decoration she’d hung in his kitchen that morning, a red felt heart, would speak volumes.
She pressed the lid onto the container filled with gingerbread brownies and ticked baking off her mental list. Milly had also been fed early and lay asleep in her bed over in the kitchen corner. Rusty lay asleep alongside her on his own bed she’d fashioned from an old quilt. The Christmas tree in the barn sparkled with tinsel and decorations and she’d hidden two boxes of candy canes for the kids to find. She’d raided Rhett’s cabin for blankets and draped them over the hay bales he’d arranged inside the barn around the Christmas tree.
On the table Rhett had set against the repaired barn wall, she’d also strung a garland. The sturdy table would soon support all the potluck dinner dishes guests would bring. Above the table, and throughout the barn, she’d hung mistletoe and kissing balls. Rhett didn’t make a comment about how many she’d hung but when he’d entered the barn for a too-brief moment his eyes had dwelled on her mouth.
She added the brownie containers to the cookie pile sitting in the basket in the foyer. Outside another vehicle passed by the main ranch house. The setting sun would soon streak the sky in gold and guests were arriving ready for when Rhett lit the fire at dusk.
She raced up the stairs to change into the red dress she’d bought after her emergency lunchtime catch-up with Trinity. She’d waved the speech pathologist off in her car and had turned to see the vibrant red dress in the window of the boutique store. With a fitted bodice and full skirt it would fall below her knees and would be both festive and warm.
She slipped the fine-wool dress on, layered her white angora cardigan over the top and added her faithful matching white beanie. She’d admired Kendall’s bell earrings the night of the Stroll and in the boutique had found some silver and crystal Christmas angel earrings. She put them on and shook her head so that the crystal could catch the light. Between the mistletoe and Christmas angels surely tonight’s plan had to work?
As she walked toward the barn carrying the basket full of Christmas baking, a silver pickup stopped beside her. Peta wound down her window.
“Hi, Ivy. Like a lift?”
She smiled. Peta had embraced the Christmas spirit. The practical cowgirl had traded her Stetson for a fluffy Santa hat. “No, I’m fine thanks. It isn’t far.”
“Okay. How about we do a swap? I take the basket and you take the cattle vaccine over to Rhett’s cabin and pop it in the fridge?”
Ivy’s eyebrows lifted and Peta laughed. “I know that must sound strange. It’s my Christmas present to Rhett and I thought I’d deliver it now while I had the cooler filled with ice. You can’t be too careful with vaccines.”
“Deal.”
Ivy walked around to the passenger side of the truck, opened the door and set her heavy basket on the seat. Peta passed her a box wrapped in mistletoe paper and red ribbon.
“Thanks.”
Ivy followed the tracks left by Peta’s tires. A collection of vehicles were parked to the left of the barn. She peered into the gathering gloom but couldn’t see Rhett’s broad-shouldered silhouette amongst the figures entering and leaving the doorway. Rhett would be at the bonfire. While the sky above the bonfire remained dark, soon sparks would explode like fireworks into the night sky.
She walked past the horse paddock. Both Cherry and Tucker nickered at her. Her heart grew heavy. The doubts she’d suppressed all day surged forward. She might have won Tucker over but Rhett was a whole other story. He might be a hot-blooded cowboy but he was also strong-willed and stubborn. He might look at her with need and longing but what if she couldn’t convince him she loved him?
She opened Rhett’s side cabin door without knocking. The smoke from his chimney was a mere puff indicating he hadn’t bee
n home for a while. She flicked on the kitchen light and put Peta’s present in the refrigerator. As she turned she caught the scent of soap. Rhett strode into the kitchen, his hair shower damp, and his red shirt hanging open over his jeans.
“Ivy?”
She tore her gaze away from his bare chest and looked into his face. She curled her fingers into her palms to stop herself sliding her hands over his firm golden skin.
“Sorry. I should have knocked. Peta gave me your Christmas gift to put into the fridge.”
For a moment she thought he’d pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless but then a muscle worked in his cheek and he turned away to button his shirt.
“Trust my practical sister to be so organized.”
“She is the firstborn and they’re always organized.” Ivy paused. Rhett seemed to be taking a long time to do up his shirt. “I’d … better get over to the barn.”
He turned, his mouth tense as he surveyed her dress. “Your Christmas outfit is nice but is missing something.”
“It is?” She looked at her white angora cardigan, red dress and black boots. “I do have thermals on underneath so I won’t freeze.”
The raw glitter in his eyes indicated he’d thought back to what she’d been wearing under her thermals when he’d peeled off her wet clothes. But before she could capitalize on the blip in his iron control he turned away to stride into the living room. He returned carrying a mistletoe-printed gift bag.
He stopped before her and speared a hand though his tousled hair. “Here,” he handed the bag to her. “Merry Christmas. It seems a shame to hang onto these when you could wear them now.”
Even before she opened the bag the smell of fine leather said he’d gifted her the red cowboy boots he’d been seen buying.
“Thank you.”
She thought about again kissing his cheek but his rigid stance let her know she wouldn’t be catching him unawares for a second time. She instead gave him a smile, uncaring he’d see how much his gift touched her.
“I checked your size with Kendall. She said this would be the correct one as you needed two pairs of thick socks with her boots.”
Ivy opened the bag and touched the top of a red cowgirl boot. Rhett was right, the leather boots would go perfectly with her dress.
“I hope they bring back happy memories of your childhood.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll leave you to put them on. I’d better get this bonfire lit before Peta sends out a search party for me.”
Ivy put on the boots in the kitchen that might be empty but was filled with Rhett’s kindness and thoughtfulness. She glanced at the heart she’d hung to decorate his window. He’d been so close to kissing her. She just needed the mistletoe to give him that extra push. Steps light, she made her way to the barn in her new boots, her feet warm and snug.
As she drew near to the door, she smelled wood smoke. To her right laughter and cheering sounded and she looked over to where sparks now illuminated the winter sky. The bonfire had officially begun. She walked into the barn lit by fairy lights, friendship and community spirit. Already the trestle table teemed with pot luck dishes and two fire pits were set with wood ready to be lit. Trinity gave her a wave from behind the table where she and Payton helped organize the dishes.
“Nice boots,” her friend mouthed with a big grin.
Ivy smiled and headed over to the Christmas tree to turn on the colored lights.
A group of children, their eyes wide and cheeks pink came to stare at the tree. Ivy caught sight of Finn hovering by his uncle as he spoke to Cordell. She crossed over to the little boy’s side and bent to smile at him.
“Hi, Finn. I’m so glad you came.”
The little boy didn’t speak but he nodded.
“I hid some candy canes in the tree. Would you like to come and find some?” She held out her hand.
Finn looked at Zane who nodded. Zane then smiled at Ivy, appreciation softening the granite-grey of his eyes.
Ivy concentrated on helping Finn and the other children find the candy canes. She made sure she learned the other children’s names and introduced them to Finn. Her efforts were reward when a blond-haired boy, a similar age to Finn, asked him if wanted to see Rhett’s tractor parked behind the barn. Finn looked at her, his expression eager but uncertain.
“Off you go, I’ll tell your uncle where you are.”
A fleeting smile returned life to the child’s dull blue eyes.
She watched as the pair slipped out the side barn door.
Behind her someone giggled.
“Check out all this mistletoe,” a breathy woman’s voice said. “I’m so getting Rhett Dixon under that sprig over there, where the light isn’t so bright.”
Ivy turned to sneak a look at the two young and curvy cowgirls who stared at the mistletoe she’d hung close to the barn corner. To the right of the girls, another cowgirl was being kissed by a dark-haired cowboy. While over near the door, Peta kissed old Henry’s cheek under a kissing ball.
Perhaps Ivy had gone a little over board on the mistletoe and kissing balls.
“Finn likes you,” Rhett came to stand beside her. “Zane was just saying how you are the first person he has warmed to since he’s arrived.”
“I hope he likes me and I hope I can help him somehow. He looks so lost. He also doesn’t speak much.”
The sound of boyish laughter carried to them from the rear of the barn.
“There’s no doubt you’ve already helped him.”
A soft note in Rhett’s voice had her turn to look at him. He looked above her head.
“You’re under the mistletoe, Ivy.”
She didn’t glance up to check. All sound receded. All light dimmed. All she could focus on was Rhett. From the intensity that tightened his features she knew he was going to kiss her. His dark gaze dropped to her mouth. Breaths shallow, she just stared at the man before her.
Over Rhett’s shoulder, the bonfire flames burned bright through the cracks in the unrepaired barn wall. She shivered. No fire, however large, would be able to warm her. Inside she felt frost-cold. She couldn’t follow through with the mistletoe plan. One mistletoe kiss didn’t guarantee a happy ending. She couldn’t take the chance, that even with time, Rhett might not believe her feelings to be genuine. She’d come to Montana to heal her broken heart only to find James had never broken it.
But now … now there was no doubt Rhett could break her heart. And she couldn’t take that risk.
She swung on her boot heel and out the barn door her grandfather had long ago carved his initials on. When she reached the main ranch house she was shaking as though she had again plunged into a frozen creek. She sank onto the rug before the living room fire. A warm, tiny body crawled into her lap.
The front door opened, boots rang in the foyer before Rhett entered the living room. He stopped as he took in the sight of Ivy cuddling Milly by the fire. Then he strode forward, purpose firming his jaw.
“Okay, Miss Milly, into the kitchen you go,” he said, as he took the pup from Ivy’s hold. His intent gaze searched hers. “I need to talk to your mistress without any interruptions.”
Ivy came to her feet and when Rhett returned, she’d started taking down the ornaments she’d set on the fireplace mantle.
“Ivy, what are you doing?”
She spoke without looking at him. “I’m un-decorating.”
He moved to take the gold reindeer from her hand and returned it to the mantle. “Now?”
“Yes, now.”
“Ivy, why did you leave?” His quiet voice rasped in the strain. “I thought you liked mistletoe?”
“I do. I just felt … cold.” Still she didn’t look at him.
“Ok … ay.” He gently touched her shoulder. “And the sudden need to un-decorate?”
She tilted her chin and faced him. “Because I’m not spending Christmas here after all.”
He took a long second to speak and when he did his tone was grave. “Where will you spend Christmas?”
/> “I’ll house sit for Trinity while she’s home with her family.”
Grooves bracketed his mouth. “I was hoping you’d spend it with me.”
She slowly shook her head. “I know you need time, Rhett, but I can’t do this. I can’t only be half in your life. I need to know where I stand. What happens if, even with time, you still think I’m on the rebound?”
He glanced at the pile of decorations she’d placed on the floor, but not before she caught alarm in his eyes.
“Does your planning to spend Christmas elsewhere mean you’ve reconsidered running your consultancy business from Rose Crown?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. I can’t stay with how things are.” She lowered her tone. “Rhett, you have to believe me and have faith that what I feel for you is genuine. The last thing I’d ever do is rush into another relationship if what I felt wasn’t … real. You’re not the rebound guy. You’re the guy.”
She drew courage from his intense stillness. His eyes didn’t leave hers even when an ember popped in the fire beside them.
“You need to know I never truly loved James. What I felt for him is the only emotion that hasn’t been real.” She stepped toward Rhett and linked her fingers with his, then lifted their hands to make a low arc. “You are my bridge. You make me see beauty and light even when there are empty holes and darkness.” Her fingers tightened on his. “I love you.”
She’d never seen anything more gorgeous than the smile that made his dimples wink or more beautiful than the love that burned blue in his eyes.
“Your bridge, huh?”
She held her breath. “Is that more acceptable than rebound guy?”
He slipped his hand from hers and his unsteady thumb brushed over her bottom lip. “Absolutely.” His head lowered. “So acceptable in fact I’m reneging on my promise not to take advantage of you.”
Her Mistletoe Cowboy Page 12